How Bored Men Can Keep Their Wives Angry, and Later, Romantic

"You are such a doofus!"
"You are such a doofus!"
The sign of Aries.
The sign of Aries.
The sign of Gemini.
The sign of Gemini.

An argument settled

It's been argued that a person born under the sign(s) of Aries and Gemini are most-prone to start projects, then bail without finishing them. And persons of these two Zodiac signs are the two most vulnerable to boredom which acts like a disease and stays with them until a different, unusually-exciting adventure comes along.

Boredom can be harmful

I appeal to all of the married men who are under the sign(s) of Aries and Gemini with this piece. I have something important to share with you that requires nothing from you but reading what I am about to say. You have admit that you cannot find a deal this smooth everyday.

If you are an Aries or Gemini, then you must feel the pangs of boredom from time to time. You are after all, a flesh and blood man. Why do you get bored? I can tell you, but my explanation may cause your face to turn red with anger, but you will know why you get bored.

"Soup's on!"
"Soup's on!" | Source
Naomi Campbell tells off her male companion.
Naomi Campbell tells off her male companion. | Source

An Aries or Gemini can get bored

Let's say for instance you are settled into your smooth recliner watching your favorite football team go at it on a Saturday afternoon. Your wife is doing some things in the house and you hear her smooth, musical humming and sometimes singing that would make any songbird hide with shame.

This goes on. And on. And on for hours until your nerves are tied in knots. Your insides burn with resentment, but you are too much of a gentleman to scold such a fair woman and her musical talent.

Then your mind returns to the last spat you had with her. That fiery look in her beautiful blue eyes and how her sharp words cut you to the marrow. And with each salvo of slurring, you grew more excited to have her for your wife. She was full of life from top to bottom. Afterwards, you and her made-up with some great loving and a delicious dinner in town.

A long line of alleged Aries and Gemini men.
A long line of alleged Aries and Gemini men.
"I can yell at you so loud you will melt like wax!"
"I can yell at you so loud you will melt like wax!" | Source
"Will you leave our house. Now?"
"Will you leave our house. Now?"
"I want you to leave town."
"I want you to leave town."
"You're a fool. Now do you hear me?"
"You're a fool. Now do you hear me?"
"I despise you."
"I despise you."
This woman means business.
This woman means business. | Source
"Get out. Get out now."
"Get out. Get out now." | Source

Warning:

The information in this hub is near-priceless so use a lot of wisdom in when and how far you will use it.

If used too much, your wife will catch-on and you, my friend will be

Busted!

You men had best read this:

That's it, men. Her angry demeanor, fiery eyes and lashing tongue was what you missed amongst her humming and singing. So now you face a marital dilemma. How can you keep her getting angry ever so often without her being suspicious? Well, you do not have a problem when I have the answer below.

How Bored Men Can Keep Their Wives Angry, and Later, Romantic

Men, you got to be clever. You must remember what started your last spat with your wife. Just go back and relive this spat in your mind and think of things to say that will make your wife angry all over again.

Things like:

  • "Since our last spat was your fault, I think you need to prepare me a nice steak dinner."
  • "You were wrong, dear. My mother is not an old stubborn goat."
  • "My mother, since you brought her up, has been mighty good to you."
  • By now, your wife is pretty "hot under the collar," and ready to go at you again. So your next move is this: At mid-spat, suddenly stop and say, "Well I think you owe me an apology for accusing me of spending that hundred-bucks on a gambling debt." This will confuse her--changing subjects so quickly.

"You did spend that money, you sap. I showed you the bank statement." She snaps shoving the bank statement in your face. "But, how do I know that 'this" is the true bank statement is ours? You could have had the bank get in cohoots with you to make me look foolish," you reply, keeping her so angry that she could cut you in half with her eyes.

Then she will say, "Do you really mean that, doofus?"

  • Do not say a word. Just use a series of complex hand and arm gestures to mess with her mind. Here are those complex hand and arm gestures:
  • Throw your arms into the air while shaking your head and looking at the floor.
  • Take both hands and start rubbing your face in frustration. Then burst into a loud laughter with a wild look in your eyes.
  • Stand up and stomp your foot on the floor while waving your hands in the air with your eyes shut.
  • Using both hands, point to your stomach as if that meant anything.
  • Now your wife is "on the ropes" confused and not knowing what to do next. Now is your chance.
  • Look serious at your wife and say, "Are you putting on some extra pounds?" This will get her attention fast and make her even more angry.
  • And this statement should win the spat for you: "I do wish that your figure looked like that of 'Julie Garr,' our company human resource director. She is always trim and eats right."

Your wife should do one of two things:

  • Look at you with a "I could kill you" look on her red face, or
  • Just look down at the floor then let you have it with a series of statements about how much she does for you, the kids and the house.
  • Now, guys, if your chance. Move toward her and slowly take her chin in your hands and softly ask, "Why do 'we' have spats like this? I am going to have to watch my tongue from now on."

Of course, she agrees.

And I would tell my followers about the night you and your wife had, but Hubpages has a strict policy along with Google Sense that forbids such racy rhetoric.

This is one angry lady

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