How A Woman Can Leave An Abusive Relationship

How A Woman Can Leave An Abusive Relationship

You can start by thinking that you are worthy of respect and that you deserve to be in a safe environment with someone who respects you. If your husband or boyfriend has been hurting you and putting your life in danger, it's time to take the blinders off, you know the ones that keeps you in a relationship with this jerk.

After each beating, he woo's you with gifts, apologizes and begs you not to leave him and then he beats you again another day. Physical abuse can lead to far worse harm than you or anyone can handle. Many women have ended up being killed by the hands of the man they thought loved them and of course, by then it's too late. If you have children it is even more important for you to get out of that abusive household, don't think you're staying for the sake of the children. No child wants to grow up thinking that because of them their mother had to stay with their abusive father and now she's dead. In fact you should tell your children not to blame themselves for anything, that none of it is their fault.

It's a good idea to call the police after your boyfriend or husband has abused you, press charges against him and get his violence on record. Most men are bailed out of jail by a relative or friend and they go back home, so you should contact a friend or relative so that they can make provisions to put you up for a while until you can make other arrangments, possibly to go to a woman's shelter where you can get counseling and further help.

Being in an abusive relationship should make you understand the importance of saving whatever money you have, whether you work for it or your boyfriend or husband gives it to you. Collect all of your valuables like jewelry and turn it into cash and put it away in case of emergency. Don't make the mistake of telling your boyfriend or even mutual friends you share with him about this because he will take it away from you and stop giving you money to buy groceries or pay bills.

A restraining order should be something you shouldn't hesitate getting after you have your husband or boyfriend arrested. And make sure that your friends and relatives are aware of what is happening in your life so that they can offer you the support you need to survive this abusive relationship. Friends and relatives can offer you a shoulder to cry on, comfort you and give you a safe haven until you find a place of your own.

There will be times when you will feel the need to go back to your abusive partner, if you feel overwhelmed financially and believe that you were better off with your husband or boyfriend, you might even want some of the intimacy back you shared being a couple, trust me, it isn't worth it; If you can help it, distance yourself from this man forever. Money and intimacy shouldn't be the driving force to send you running back into your partners fist. If you can't find a job right away, apply for welfare until you are hired. Go to a votech school and get some job training.

You might feel lonely, it may be true. However, understanding that you have to take some time to heal from the trauma you've experience at the hands of your partner. There will be a time in your life when you will meet another man and your healing and learning how to value yourself will be an asset to any future relationship you have.

 

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Samantha.C profile image

Samantha.C 5 years ago from Yorkshire, UK

Although I see some of the above in the experience I have, the threats weren't the hardest thing; threats were the easy part to walk away from.... For example...walking home from the pub(yes it involved alcoholism) i made a comment saying football is stupid, I was grabbed around the throat. I had a panic attack and he said sorry and said I was better off without him cos he hurt me.... when someone manipulates you like this you beg them not to end it, you say I know you didn't mean it and I forgive you... this for me was the most difficult part of it. He use to split with me every week, then go to the local town upset and I would be made out the bad person... this way I lost all my friends but not that I can explain it now, I still went back. The more friends I lost the more he was my everything. I made one last ditch attempt at giving him the space away from his family. I quit my music degree to get a house and got engaged. The ONLY thing that snapped me out of this appalling cycle was my mum becoming ill and he threatened her! It is 3 years after this awful experience and I have permanent scars and a somewhat cautious approach to alcohol, this will never change. My close friends have stuck by me and so has my family, I am now redoing a degree and I'm me again. Going to the police, I have done but I could not have it go any further as he would of reacted. The best way to deal with him is either be nice or say nothing at all.


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 5 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

Samantha C., I'm sorry to hear you experienced this kind of manipulation and abuse, but happy to hear that you broke the cycle and is no longer with this man. He crossed the line even more when he threatened your sick mother. Your family and close friends sticking by your side will give you the strenght and courage to move on with your life and find happiness with a guy who would never harm you and who is well deserving of you.


Samantha.C profile image

Samantha.C 5 years ago from Yorkshire, UK

I think sometimes if it was as simple as walking away then there would be no addiction and no cycle... no one would ever suffer because they would be able to leave straight away. One blog said arm yourself with a gun.... When the abusive person becomes the world the last thing you want to do is hurt them! It was shocking to see someone advising to get a gun! I think the best way to show them you are not bullied is by being the strongest person you can be and surround yourself with friends and family.


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 5 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

You're right, if walking away was that simple and easy, no woman or man would be in an abusive situation. However, having the courage and strenght to walk away can save someone's life. The blog that says arm yourself with a gun is basically telling someone how to take the easier way out. In any situation where you have to physically defend your life or the life of your child sometimes you have no other choice, but I wouldn't tell anyone to get a gun, it only causes another problem. for someone who can just leave and not look back and move on with their life, they are the lucky ones.


rambansal profile image

rambansal 5 years ago from India

Good informative post not only to women but to men also.

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