How Do You Measure Love

Love's measuring cups
Love's measuring cups

My story is merely my personal perception and observation, so this is not based from any professional evaluation and no scientific study was conducted on my part to write this story.

As most writers so often do, I found myself thinking about the measurement of love. One thought in particular that crossed my mind was something that I thought I would share.

How our society measures love

Some individuals would say you should love God more than anything, your family, more than your friends, even your children. How is that possible? Can you really love more than the people that are in your life? How can you really measure how much you love? If you love, don't you just love? Is there a way we can measure how much we love something or someone? Personally, I don't see how. I believe a measurement of love is measured by one's personal consciousness. What we are measuring is not actually Love, but how much significances that person means to us individually. But, can you measure significance? Not on a scale.

I think it is comical that we as a people will try to give everything a size, a measurement, or a limitation. Can you really measure Love or is love simply a personal perception? Isn't a measurement of love a definition of one's own personal significance and importance? When you Love, isn't that is all there is? It's not that simple. There is love and there is the kind of love where you love beyond all words. You can try to describe the kind of love you feel, but true love is something that is immeasurable.

Scientists can measure brain reactions to sight and smells, view the changing patterns of activity and biochemical reactions to measure activity in the brain, but unless scientists study numerous subjects who are truly in love versus subjects who are in lust for someone attractive, the responses will be nearly impossible to measure, because everyone's reactions are going to be different from one individual to another. These differences will be based on social experiences. Thoughts during the testing will also influence these tests, but I don't think it could ever be measured accurately and be used as fact. I don't want to go into any technical details, because I am not reporting on facts or figures based on scientific data. I merely want to share about my own personal experience in comparison to how love is measured and possibly get some input from my readers.

In this past year, I have experienced love on a new level. I truly believe in my heart, that I have found the one, my kindred spirit, soul mate if you will. Many believe a soul mate is just a figment of one's own imagination. Others believe that our main purpose on earth is to find our soul mate or you are doomed to travel through time and live multiple lives until we found our counterpart in order to pass onto everlasting life. I'm not going to discredit anyone beliefs nor will I deny that it isn't possible, but I don't believe it is a figment of my imagination.

Life's lesson

I am 35 years of age. I've been married before and I've had my share of serious relationships over the course of my life, so I've experienced a great many things on different levels of love. Some therapists might say that I had an addition to the euphoria of falling in love. Maybe, I did. I am not denying it. And, once the sensation dissipated, I lost interest. I am not disputing this theory. The more I look back, the more I realize that I did feel those things. I guess this is part of being human. Our initial human reaction is to see a person that we find attractive and this creates the desire is to mate, correct? This is the very reason how we procreate. The difference is our ability to love and care about the individual and the ability to nurture that relationship, "until death do us part". How the relationship results depends on how we learn from our social influence. Were our parents divorced? Did they stay together? Do we have parents in our lives at all? Did TV, internet, or even pornography play part in early development? How did our friends act as role models in school while we were growing up? All these things have a direct influence on how we develop as teenagers and it stretches all the way until our adult years. Depending on habits and social surroundings, these influences can and do permanently influence your entire lifestyle. Fortunately for me, I learned and identified what was destructive in my life later rather than never.

What do you guys think? Is there a piece of the puzzle that I'm overlooking? Please comment with your ideas and opinions. There is no right or wrong answer.

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Comments 10 comments

luvnlyf 8 years ago

I think men and women differ in respect to what their gender constitutes as being attractive (ie men valuing looks over heart which is often the opposite for females--not true for all men and women!). This is especially evident to me when my single good-looking guy friends point out a beautiful woman with a not-so-beautiful counterpart and say "wtf?!" The man I married was NOT what I wanted...he wasn't even on my "maybe" list. He was the complete opposite of what I thought I needed; however, now that time has passed and I see how we've both changed over the years, I realize God in His infinite wisdom gave us both what we needed.  I grew up without a father; he came from a loving home. What I loved about his family was that his father was/is very involved in his children's lives. My father-in-law was/is all the things I wished my father would've been especially when I was younger. I knew my husband would be that kind of a father--he was/is all the things my heart yearned for from my father. I, on the other hand, was raised by my mom and taught to look for and bring out the best in others. My husband who was used to feeling rejected and less than because of various "disorders" he struggled with, got the opposite from his family. His family didn't always do this intentionally but because they didn't understand what he struggled with, their frustration with him made my husband feel like they were rejecting him. I think we all experience things in life that keep us searching for ways to make us feel whole.  For those of us who are lucky enough to grow up in a home filled with love, we just look for ways to ensure the same future for our children.  For those of us who are never satisfied and continually searching, I think it's because we are trying to use duct tape to repair a void which needs to be identified before it can be filled.  

donnaleemason profile image

donnaleemason 8 years ago from North Dakota, USA

I agree. Sometimes it just happens.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Seems everyone is in a hurry..'Good things come to those who wait' Trust in what is happening and love them anyway...they can turn and walk away..Love them anyway. do it anyway... (words that Martina McBride sings).......But time is also a teacher..and life itself is a teacher..our parents are teachers...we are teachers. Learn Learn...G-Ma :o) hugs

LE 8 years ago

I think that you are on the right track, but you need to acknowledge that loves develops, grows, and most importantly changes over time. You will feel the "euphoria" of falling in love in the beginning, but it will soon become a comfortable more mature love. With that more mature love you will have a feeling of security and confidence that replaces the excitement and "giddyness" of early love. If you're not prepared for love to change, you are more likely to flee to the next person you feel the "euphoria" for.

touch me 7 years ago

i love shruthi

vinoth 5 years ago

i ove shareveshini

4 years ago

i'm agree

mazen 4 years ago


VISHNU 4 years ago

ICANT STOP LOVING YOU...................sruthy

GHOOOOOOOOST 3 years ago


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