How Gay Sluts Get So Many Men
I always wondered just what my life would have been like if I had been more of a slut. Although I talked a good game at an early age (filled with innuendo and double entendre) I really didn’t know what any of it meant I just knew it got a reaction if I said it or raised an eyebrow when I said it. And as I’ve always been an attention whore, I loved every minute of it. The fact was that I had a mouth like a sewer (dirty and catching all sorts of debris). One person would tell me in my early twenties, “You are jaded beyond your years.” When the truth of the matter was that I wasn’t jaded, wasn’t experienced, I was just trying to make people laugh. I remember the first man I was with, it was right before the big moment and I said, “I’ve never done this before.” Well, it set him back a bit but then he proceeded with the vigor normally only associated with a bear (not “that” kind of bear, boys) (or Jew) eating a lox. He was very into the whole scene, so much so that I often thought of using the line again. No doubt people have told say the first six people they’ve been with that they’re the first, right? It sort of makes you seem like one of the characters from Little House on the Prairie or something, complete with bonnet and innocent look in your eyes. (I’m just now wondering if there’s a limit to the amount of partners you can lie to about them being your first. Is that number one? Three? Or Three Million? How many did you tell they were the first?) Anyway, recently in a conversation with a pal we began talking about sluts, man whores, whatever you want to call them and what I discovered was that while I’ve always thought that you had to be some big handsome thing to be a slut the truth of the matter is that you just have to ask. How gay sluts get so many men – Don’t Get Me Started!
Let’s just say I know someone who falls into the slut category (okay maybe more than one). I describe the “slut category” as when you’ve slept with more people than you will see on an average subway train at rush hour on any given day. I don’t hold any judgment in fact I will applaud you and love you all the more for it because you’re allowing yourself to live life to the fullest without regrets or concerns over what some people may think. (But by all means, practice safe sex) It seems whenever a gay man tells you about having sex with someone who they’re not really emotionally involved with they’ll tell you, “He had the biggest cock you’ve ever seen.” As if that somehow is a reason to have had sex with a complete stranger. (Maybe it’s like saying you had to climb Mount Everest because it’s so tall?) I don’t know where this strange breed of men with the “largest cocks ever” live (except on the Internet) but the sluts I know seem to find the one man with the largest dick in the world wherever they go (according to the sluts and I must say from some of the photos I’ve seen they aren’t lying…much). The thing is that while the slut may be attractive, for the most part I don’t think any photographers are beating down their door to make them a model. So I began to wonder how they got Juan (the bodybuilder from Cancun), Bjorn (the model from Brussels) or Tony (the personal trainer from West Hollywood) to name a few. These guys were all stunning examples of manliness with their bulging biceps, calves bigger than my waist and foreheads that you could set tea on (no doubt from the steroids). So how do they do it? How do the a little above average looking sluts get all these men? The answer my friends is not blowing in the wind, the answer is that they asked them. Yes, you read that right. I think it’s much like an actor going on tons of auditions and getting one job. The sluts must get turned down on occasion but by in large, they take whatever they want home (or to the alley) by simply asking them if they want to. Now of course the person saying yes in most cases is probably a slut too but isn’t it great to know that you don’t have to look like Adonis to get one for twenty minutes? That’s right, there’s the secret of being a slut and finding a partner for the moment…you just have to ask. Someone once told me that you never get anything in life if you don’t ask for it and apparently that applies here as well.
I’m sure the same can be said for straight, female and male sluts too but since I’ve known less of them I didn’t really think I could speak as an authority as much as I could for the gay males I know who are sluts. I haven’t had sex with anyone but my partner of twenty-one years for the past twenty-one years and I couldn’t ever imagine having to be “on the market” again at my age, size and standards but it’s somehow great to know that if I ever did want to become a slut it wouldn’t involve changing me as much as it would be about changing my approach – no more having to be witty or buy the drinks, all I’d have to do is ask. (True, I may have to ask a thousand to get one but then again, if sluts can do it so can I, right?) How gay sluts get so many men – Don’t Get Me Started!
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An acquired taste, like Tab cola, Some Like It Scott is one gay man's experiences with love, life and things that make him crazy, all done to a musical theatre soundtrack.
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