How I Met My Wife

I was sick and tired of loneliness and I wasn't going to take it any more.

Yet I knew that I couldn't force anyone to love me. They would have to want to do it. How would I arrange it? How would it happen? How would I make it so that the other person would not want to leave as all the rest of them had done?

It came into my poor tortured post-adolescent brain that I would have to appear as if I was not desperate. Desperation scares women away. I must remain calm. So I calmed myself and waited for opportunity.

I was a road locksmith - a locksmith who travels to people's homes and businesses to provide service. I knew that since I had left college, herein lay my greatest opportunity. Yet this opportunity came with a big obstacle in my mind: professionalism. How does one maintain professionalism while inviting one's client out on a date? It was a problem.

But where there's a drill there's a way, so I began to ask customers out. Some of them just laughed, as if to say, "Moi, go out with a tradesman?" Some were offended, but luckily not offended enough to complain to my boss.

At the time I had been in a Latin band, Super Combo La Fuente, for about two years. We had started out playing cumbia and had progressed into salsa and meringue and a little pop here and there. As the trombone player I played very energetically and faked back up vocals passably, and at breaks audience members would often come up to the bandstand to praise me in rapid-fire Espanol until they found I was not remotely fluent.

During breaks the club would invariably play recorded Latin dance music to fill in. People would just keep dancing. Sometimes I would ask someone to dance, and we would, but in Latin dance club culture as I experienced it, dancing with someone was almost never the beginning of anything. Most of the time men would dance with women who had arrived - and would leave with - other men. After the dance, the women would all go back to their husbands or boyfriends and the men would often go back and stand against the wall and wait for the music to begin again.

Super Combo La Fuente rehearsed once a week and gigged two to three times a week - usually Friday and Saturday, but sometimes with a Thursday night or a Sunday afternoon thrown in. In other words, I was a pretty busy guy, especially on nights of the week popular for dating. So it was a no-brainer that I should invite a prospect to a gig.

My first successful attempt at inviting a female customer to a gig started out unbelievably well, especially considering my luck over the previous couple of years. I repaired a lock in her apartment and we started talking about this and that. She was friendly and relaxed, blond, a runner in excellent shape, and spoke fluent Spanish. I invited her to my upcoming gig the next weekend.

She danced expertly with everyone in the band, and they all told me what a great find she was. She blended right in. She didn't talk with me much, but I was okay with that. I didn't have much to say in those days anyway.

Unfortunately she already had a boyfriend. She had had a falling out with him - a circumstance that made her temporarily available to me - but in the end she returned to him and I was back to square one. I was not pleased, but she was completely honest and I don't fault her. She's a good person and I hope she's happy.

The next customer I asked out was a Jewish girl from New York. She was very security conscious and I had a lot of confidence as a locksmith, so I was able to explain all the dozens of questions she had about all matters security. She was animated and energetic. She bought a high security deadbolt and I sold her some accessories to make her flimsy wooden door stronger.

Although in those days I did not talk much, I knew I was going to have to talk if I was ever going to get anything started. So I made the effort. It was hard work for me, but I managed to hold her interest. We talked about our backgrounds and our jobs and probably some other stuff.

Her apartment had a fire escape that she was concerned about, so I measured the windows for grates and made an appointment with her to return. I went back to the shop and arranged with my boss to order the grates for her job. They would be in the following week.

Over the week I thought about her quite a bit.

When I returned to install the window grates I asked her to come to my next gig with Super Combo La Fuente. She agreed and brought a friend, another Jewish girl whose family originally came from Cuba. They danced together while I was playing, and my 'date' danced with me while I was not. She wore red pants and black pointy shoes. She was cool. We talked about music and more about our backgrounds. It was a night. She left with her friend.

A few days later I called her up. She had had some trouble at work and did not want to go out.

"Come on," I said. "Let's go out to a movie. It will help you forget about your troubles." I forget what movie we saw, but it was a good choice. We both had a nice time and afterwards I walked her home.

For the third date I took her to a Japanese restaurant. I went downtown and bought a new shirt and a blazer for the event. It was fun sitting on the low benches, shoeless, eating unfamiliar dishes in their beautiful exotic presentations. She was pensive and less animated. I was worried that she was getting ready to break it off. We were quiet as we took the subway back to our neighborhood and I walked her home.

The next time I called her she was her animated and lively self again. We got together, maybe it was at her place for cheese and crackers or at Romano's Cafe for coffee and chocolate pastry. Anyway, it came out that my mother is Jewish, making me technically Jewish, and so I became a real contender. Things progressed pretty quickly after that. Within a few months we were engaged and a bit over a year later we were married.

And yes, we lived happily ever after.

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Comments 44 comments

Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall

A bit of a rocky start there Tom, alls well that ends well..good luck to you both, so pleased you found the one.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

Awww...don't you just love a happy ending? :)


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am a lucky man.


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

What a great ending to a wonderful neverending love story my fellow super hero friend. Loves it.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Thanks very much. Worth a poem or two my esteemed colleague.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

"Let's go out to a movie. It will help you forget about your troubles." Flirt! LOL Cute story Tom, thanks for sharing ;D


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

You can borrow one of mine to read to her and get her all ready for lovemaking and wine. woo-hoo


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong

Hi Tom,

that was superb and relaxed story-telling. I enjoyed it tremendously.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Thanks very much, gentlemen. I remain a very happy (though precariously balanced) man


JanieWrites profile image

JanieWrites 7 years ago from Arizona

What a nice story, Tom. It sounds like you found your soul mate.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

I remain in love, thank you, Janie.


einron profile image

einron 7 years ago from Toronto, Ontario, CANADA

You made it sound so wonderful finding s soul mate. it is great that you are still in love and I hope for ever. God bless. Does she read your mail?


eovery profile image

eovery 7 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

A true love story, that my wife would jsut love.

Keep on Hubbing!


marcofratelli profile image

marcofratelli 7 years ago from Australia

That was a really good read. I need to learn to talk more as well I think...


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

No, she doesn't read my mail, Einron, though she's welcome to. Woo hoo, credit card offers and junk mail!

Will do, Eovery!

Ya, Marco, the talking part is really difficult at first if you're not used to it. It takes a lot of energy, so you have to approach it like you're doing an athletic event: get enough sleep, psyche up beforehand, eat carbs the night before...


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Aww how sweet...'Her apartment had a fire escape that she was concerned about', ..hummm? nice going....I am glad it worked out for you both...G-Ma :O) Hugs & Peace


Ivorwen profile image

Ivorwen 7 years ago from Hither and Yonder

Love it!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Thank you, G-Ma and Ivorwen! It has really worked out great.


charanjeet kaur profile image

charanjeet kaur 7 years ago from Delhi

Wow do i just love hearing real stories of real couples and happily married. God bless and may you have many years ahead of you.. You said you are lucky i can bet she would say She is the lucky one to have you too in your life..

What an interesting read simple and easy, lol it is tough to believe you had tough time talking in your early days.. hahaha you would have asked them to read your hubs instead...


Gin Delloway profile image

Gin Delloway 7 years ago

nice hub! I like it.. you have proved that a person can do everything if he or she wants!! =))


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Thanks very much, Charanjeet. I actually still have trouble with live conversation. How much easier it is to write! One always has the choice to edit before publishing.

Wow, Gin! I guess I did, didn't I? I think the point is not to give up after the first try.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

Lovely story Tom and thanks so much for sharing it with us. You never did say why she was so quiet at the Japanese restaurant or did you never find out? Never the less it is  great that it all worked out so well!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Ya know she never did say! A little mystery is not always a bad thing, Sixty.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

Too right Tom It is the mystery that keeps things interesting!


Miss Behaving profile image

Miss Behaving 7 years ago from Memphis, TN

ah a little giggle came out of my mouth at the ending...is that a g.o.l.?

very sweet story-thanks!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

I guess that IS a GOL! Thanks for reading and a new Internet abbreviation!


ReuVera profile image

ReuVera 7 years ago from USA

"it came out that my mother is Jewish, making me technically Jewish, and so I became a real contender"

Being a Jewish myself, I liked this part the most :) I am so happy you qualified! Mazl Tov!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

There were other hurdles, but in the end I made it. Thanks very much. We celebrated our 20-year renewal a couple of years ago.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 7 years ago from Houston, Texas

20+ years and counting. Congratulations! This October will be 39 yrs. for us and we met on a blind date! One of the few blind dates either one of us ever tried. So one never knows when the right person will come along. Enjoyed your story.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 7 years ago from Houston, Texas

Copied twice for some reason.....so I'll just add this: Here's to your next 22+ years of wedded happiness!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Thanks and congratulations, Peggy! Absolutely true. One never knows.


United Locksmiths profile image

United Locksmiths 7 years ago from England

Wow this a great little fairytale-y story of you. Good for you my friend. ;)


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, United! It even has a happy ending!


nazishnasim 7 years ago

Awwwwwwww ... shweeet :).


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Yes, she is! :-)


nazishnasim 7 years ago

Awwwwww ... shweeter :).


whitney 6 years ago

thank you for sharing. searched "how i met my wife" on google. first story i've read. coming from a girl-in-waiting, who casually considers who her husband may be.

whitney


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 6 years ago from United States Author

Thanks for reading. It's nice to think of someone at the beginning of life and fun to think of how life will progress.


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

I just love 'Once upon a time' stories that end 'happily ever after'! 20+ years? - here's to many, many more!


poetlorraine 6 years ago

lovely hub ....... you romantic fool you


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 6 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Shalini. :0)

That's me, Poetlorraine :0)


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

I love a confident happy ending beyond fairy tales. Thank you for the simply lovely details.


princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 4 years ago

Who would have thought that "trouble at work" would lead to a movie, then a Japanese restaurant, then a date at the Romano's and so on till marriage. Makes you realize the importance of the simple things in life, and how something bad can very well turn out to be the best thing ever, don't you think?

Tom, this hub has been a very warm read - just what the doctor ordered with a nice hot cuppa.

Princesswithapen


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 4 years ago from United States Author

Interesting how things work out, isn't it? Thank you :)

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