How I became a winner at life

What is your way of thinking?

For years I have felt that I was a loser, not necessarily a loser at life, just someone who doesn’t win things.  The song from Hee-Haw has run through my mind  more than once on many occasion.  “If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all”.   At first it was just sort of in a joking manner, but after a while I began to believe it.


The Worse - Yet the best

Oh I’ve listened to Robert Schuller “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me!“ and lots of other ‘positive thinking’ speakers through the years I would listen to what they had to say and apply some of the things they said to my life, for a while.  Until something bad happened.

Then back into my old way of thinking. 

It’s more than saying positive things, it’s more than just feeling positive.  It’s a way of life.  It’s a culmination of all things that makes the changes.  This past year, 2010 was what I would consider the worst year of my life, yet the best.

The worst, in bad things that could happen to any one person.  Yet the best in my personal growth. 


2010

The year started off bad, but due to what happened in the second month I can’t even begin to remember before that.  In February my world crashed in on me, the worst thing that I could ever imagine happened.  For 25 years I’d lived in some sort of fantasy world, oh  I ’knew’ something was going on, I just could never prove it, nor did I want to believe it.  It was time for me to face the truth.

For a while I walked around numb to my life, not living, just breathing and existing.  Not doing the things that I’d always loved doing.  At some point I decided to peek my head out of my shell, hoping that there was no one there ready to lop it off.  No one was.  Tentatively my head peeked out more often and a little further each time.  One day, it just never went back into the shell.


Things started getting bad

I’d begun to do the things I’d always enjoyed again, slowly at first, then I picked up speed and went gung ho into writing. I’d put down my pen and paper long ago, one day as I was surfing the net I found a reason to pick it up again. HubPages. It allowed me to write whatever was on my mind. So I did.

I began to see humor in life once again, slowly at first then with such an intensity that I was laughing at my own words. I could laugh at my life again, see the funny things that were constantly happening. This is not to say that from time to time I didn’t feel a little sorry for myself, have my own pity party. I did.

Bad things continued to happen, things would break around my house, dogs peed on the furniture, chewed up shoes, clothes etc… A neighbor threatening to shoot our dogs. Refrigerator breaking in July. For 13 weeks our wages had been garnished. Making recovery from that the hardest thing I could ever imagine. Just eating became something that was a luxury. I began to cook only on the weekends, eating peanut butter sandwiches and ramen noodles the rest of the week. Sometimes oatmeal was the dinner of choice. All the while trying to take care of 2 Grand babies, 2 children and my husband.


From bad to worse

There was a warrant out for my arrest for an unpaid bill, hey if there is no money bills can’t get paid! My husband was arrest and jailed until the bond was paid which took care of his ‘part’ of the bill. We had to borrow the bond money, so that had to be paid back, just 5 short weeks before Christmas. Had I been arrested, I would have had to sit in jail. The shame of this still haunts me. I have never gotten in trouble in my life.

The first cold weather we got my water pipes froze… twice. Then when it got the coldest the Combustion blower on my heater went bad. On Christmas eve no less. It was the bearing that were going, so every hour or so when it started squealing I’d run to the motor and oil the part that wasn’t supposed to be oiled, just so it would continue to work on the lowest setting.

The holidays were a chore, I provided nothing for the dinners, my daughter did. It was my house that we cooked at. I just had to come up with the money for the propane to cook. The Christmas gifts were very lean. I made most of them out of yarn and my talents. I didn’t have the money for a Christmas tree, my youngest daughter and her boyfriend found someone to donate one. It was put up on a table so the baby couldn’t get into it and the dogs didn’t pee on it.


Get yourself that kick - nudge whatever you need

My change has come over time slowly, it might not have gotten into full gear if it weren’t for one person. A fellow Hubber - LillyGrillZit. She gave me the nudge, kick, shove, push when I needed it the most. It was more than her positive thinking. We have become friends off of HubPages, onto Facebook and through e-mail as well.

When ever anything seemed darkest, she presented me with my tutu and wand (figuratively speaking) and some of the kindest words that I have ever heard!  She helped me see the light.  That I am a good person.  She deserves the RAK of the year award and if I could give it to her, I would present it with the biggest pomp and circumstance available known to man/woman!


Keep smiling!

So how does one become a winner? It has to come from deep within, start by looking at the glass as half full rather than half empty. When bad things happen try to see the humor in it. How does one see the humor of the dogs peeing on the furniture? It’s there, you just have to find it. Your imagination comes in handy here! One dog talking to the other “That’s mine…. No, it’s mine…” a little grrrring going on here while another one (I have 4 male dogs) runs up and pee’s on it and says “There that settles it, It’s MINE”.

We found a way to put up a small fence to keep in the dogs, so the neighbor didn’t shoot them. The broken things either got fixed or stayed broken. I bought chewy things for the dogs so they quit eating furniture, clothes etc…

Borrowed the money to buy a fridge, that was paid back during the wage garnishment. Learned to live on less and less. If the Dish Network got shut off, I’d turn it back on when I could, watch movies during down time. That didn’t matter because the big TV broke at some point during all of this. It still hasn’t been replaced, but either will or won’t be in time.

When the water pipes froze we bought a few gallons of water, since my daughter has a job and is well liked at her work, they let us borrow a full 10 gallon jug of water. So we could fill the baby’s bottle, have coffee and wash dishes. The water still leaks but at least it isn’t frozen. We may have a big expense soon of replacing something, but for now we have water.

The heater, well my mode of dress has become something to behold! I put on heavy pajamas, robe, socks, slippers and scarf. The heater is now fixed it cost just a little over $200, which was a Christmas gift from my Dad and his lovely wife. I miss all of my clothes, but I deal with it.



Be Detemined!

I managed to get through it all, and survived as well. Yes, at the moment of the problem I wanted to cry, yell or hit something. Within the very same day, I was able to see the humor in it. How did this happen? Determination. Pure and simple. Determination on my part not to let it get me down. That and a good friend, one who encouraged me with her words.

Together we decided we were going to be winner’s from now on. This is not to say that bad things can’t or won’t happen, but when they do were going to be there with our tutu’s on, our wand in hand and laugh at the problems. Laughing seems to make them smaller. Problems shared are problems halved.

So pick your friend, or let them pick you, be encouraging together! Find that person or person’s who have positive thinking, they don’t have to be close by. Facebook, or emails work just fine. Encourage each other! When you find something terrific, share it with your friend, they will be happy for you. You too must be happy for them when they do something good as well! Congratulate each other, invite others into your circle. Together you can conquer ANYTHING!


Stop by for a visit!

This is just some of the work they do!
This is just some of the work they do! | Source

Shout Out to Sharon!

For my writing I'd like to thank a friend from School. Sharon - She has been my 'rabid reader'. Reading everything that I have written on HubPages with the exclamation of 'more, more, more!'... We got together on facebook this past year and one day I'm going to take her that pie I promised!

If you're ever in Rome, GA and you need body work for your car, make sure you look up her and her husband's business! They do great body work! I've seen the pictures on Facebook! The name of their business is "Pimp Your Wagon" Make sure you tell them Sweetsusieg sent you!!

Thank You for being there!

LillyGrillZit - Thank You! You have been the most positive influence in my life thus far and I certainly do appreciate your friendship! Apart we only have 1 wing - together we can fly!

More by this Author


Comments 25 comments

suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 5 years ago from Asheville, NC

It's amazing how we survive and go on. Things always get better even though we don't think so at the time. I wish you and yours a wonderful 2011.


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 5 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas

Dear Sweetsusieg, Thank you. To let you know, when I woke up this morning, I decided to dress up for writing. One of my small goals, dress everyday like the professional writer. Full black eyeliner and mascara is running down my face. Your words of kindness and Love mean a lot. OWA indeed! We will be flying high this year. I am happy we became friends and co-conspirators in Winning this time around!!! The BEST to you!


Laura du Toit profile image

Laura du Toit 5 years ago from South Africa

Looking on the bright side I'm sure that for you 2011 can only hold better, smoother and happier times for you and your family. Thanks for sharing and making us realize that there will always be people that are better off than we are but at the same time there are many people who are much worse off than ourselves. Let's all learn to be thankful for what we have instead of being unhappy for that which we don't!!


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 5 years ago from Michigan Author

suziecat7 - Thanks for the well wishes!! I wish the best that 2011 has to offer you as well!!

Lilly - LOL, well I can't say I've gotten that far yet!! LOL, I'm so comfortable in my jammies! Maybe I need to re-think some things.. hmmm maybe a shower to start?

Laura - From your lips to God's ears! I truly am grateful for what I have, things certainly could be worse!! Thank you!

Thank you all for stopping by and commenting!!


rdmegan profile image

rdmegan 5 years ago from Edmonton, Alberta Canada

I did not know a person could get arrested for an unpaid bill in this day and age. I live in Canada and I'm not sure that could happen here. It sounds like you have had an incredibly stressful year. I thought my year was stressful, but reading what you wrote helped me to realize how fortunate I actually am. And I know there are people out there who probably make both of us look fortunate. I'm glad you are able to look at the positive side of things. Hopefully, 2011 will bring us both huge amounts of prosperity and joy! :)


L.L. Woodard profile image

L.L. Woodard 5 years ago from Oklahoma City

Where would we be without friends and family? They are the rainbow that sees us through each of life's storms. Thanks for reminding me of that.


fucsia profile image

fucsia 5 years ago

Congratulations for your strength and thank you for sharing your story with us.


CYBERSUPE profile image

CYBERSUPE 5 years ago from MALVERN, PENNSYLVANIA, U.S.A.

Read your Hub and wish you the very best for 2011, full of love, good health and a prosperious New Year. God Bless You Sweetsusieg.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 5 years ago from Michigan Author

rdmegan - Apparently with the economy in the toilet as it is, if you owe money to anyone in authority they can basically do whatever they want. But it's all taken care of now, it's all over. My year wasn't the greatest, but I do know others who lost family members, so that is much worse. I am very glad to be in my own shoes when things like that happen.

L.L.Woodard - I'm not sure where I'd be today if it weren't for my friends. Their laughter and joy (and problems) have helped me through my darkest hours.

fucsia - Thank you, each day I get stronger and stronger.

cybersupe - From your lips to God's ears!! 2011 is going to be the BEST! It's already gotten to a good start! I won $25 on 1/1/11.. YAY go me!!

Thank you all for stopping by -your good wishes/blessings and comments!


jagandelight profile image

jagandelight 5 years ago from Florida

Hi sweetsusieg,

Happy New Year.

2010 has been a very rough year for me too, but it is through the grace of God that I made it through. I had a peace that could not be disturbed, even in the worst of time. God is my refuge and strength,He's a Rock for me and he provided every step of the way for me and my children.Have faith in God and He will see you through, 2011 will be better, believe that.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Oh absolutely!! IF it weren't for God in my life, I'd be walking/dragging myself in the sand alone!! "Footprints" hangs on two different walls in my home! Just so I'm reminded daily that I don't walk alone.


Sarah Writes profile image

Sarah Writes 5 years ago from California

Very inspirational hub and I must agree with you, everyone has the choice whether they want to be winners or not, because it truly is a state of mind not a state of status. In fact some of the biggest “losers” I have met in life have been wealthy. Keep up the positivity it made me smile!


Felix Zapata profile image

Felix Zapata 5 years ago

Happy New Year, keep smiling and laughing, and as you know good things will follow. Best wishes for 2011.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Sarah - Thank you! I have met a few losers in my life as well, not too much fun to be around!!

Felix - That you! I will do my absolute best to keep smiling! I would like to return the best wishes to you as well!

Thank you both for stopping by and commenting!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Someone very witty, susie - no, sorry, it wasn't you or me - once said: "If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't

have any luck at all!"

That seems to describe most of 2010, so I guarantee that 2011 is going to be GREAT for you - you got it all out of your system. Trust me.

I'm still laughing about your in-house (as opposed to outhouse) mode of dress when the heater went on vacation. Funneee! :)


Beege215e profile image

Beege215e 5 years ago

someone smarter than me once said:

"In this absolutely absurd world

one has a duty

To live and absolutely absurd life."

When things go bad, just dance.

Good Luck and good hub


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 5 years ago from Michigan Author

So funny you should mention that!! My daughter and I were just discussing dancing. We BOTH love to dance and if we look like Monkey's doing it, then so be it!

Thanks for stopping by and commenting!!


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 5 years ago

Loved this hub. Treasure what little you have and all the people who love you.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 5 years ago from Michigan Author

I absolutely do! Everyone in my life is very important to me and I try my best to let them know! We only get 1 shot at life and we have to make the best of it!!

Thanks for stopping by and commenting!


SweetMarie83 profile image

SweetMarie83 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It's amazing how life seems to kick us when we're down but it's how we deal with it that makes all the difference, and you're absolutely right about being able to laugh at yourself, life and situations. All the best for 2011, I hope it's a wonderful year for you and your family!


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Thank you Marie - Your name speaks volumes (sweet)!! Indeed life gives us that good kick from time to time! I see it this way; Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone! (With the exception of Good friends!) I can't remember who said it first but I'm sure it's been said many times. My other personal favorite: "Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive anyway!"

Thanks for stopping by!


Ms Sandy profile image

Ms Sandy 5 years ago from RgV, Tx

this made so much sense especially now that i seem to be driving over a rough bump in my life. it made me really think and look at the happier memories and experiences in my life. thank you


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 5 years ago from Michigan Author

I'm so glad I could help you put things into perspective! Some times it just takes someone else to help see things a little more clear.

This rough bump will eventually smooth out, making you forget the rough times, at the very least the will become distant memories. Blessings to you for all the year through! (and beyond!)


OPIE 5 years ago

This gets a 5 star HOLY CRAP!!! From me.Ive been through Hell n back to many times to count all on my own.If I had the type of friends I have now back then well... Maybe I wouldent of maid so many trips there.If I ever stop laughing shoot me.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Not a problem Opie!! There are still many things that I forgot to put in here!! In the last year alone. For so long my mind was in a fog. You are doing GREAT!! I am so glad we found you and you found us, life would be much more dull without your 'shout outs' throughout the day!

Thanks for the 5 star!!

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