How I Met My Match

This. Is. Me.
This. Is. Me. | Source

The single girl

After years of trying to find "the one", and one tumultuous relationship after another, I decided to take a step back and be the single girl - the one with numerous friends, a calendar packed full of dinners and outings, and money to spend as I chose.

Time was on my side for the first time since my first real crush. Not having to answer to my always-worrying and wondering heart, I was free to explore my own destiny, take my own path. I enrolled in school, caught-up with old friends, was able to grocery shop for whatever I had a hankering for, started exercising regularly, and began writing once again. Something that I had lost while being in relationships more than my sense of time and realty, was my love and passion for writing. Excuses seemed to pile up as to why I had no time or motivation to write. Sadly, looking back, none were valid.

Being in a relationship is a roller coaster of emotions, commitments to otherwise uninviting events, and long weekends lounging in sweats, watching whatever may spark my interest on television... so I thought.

As someone whom was almost always dating or in a serious relationship, the desire to be with someone quickly caught up with me. Yes, I was beginning to find myself and was compiling a newly-found list of dreams and next-steps, but not having someone to share it all with was weighing on me heavily. Although I am quite the independent woman, I am still a woman. We women need love, compassion, and a partner in the successes of life.

Trial and error

Blind dates were humiliating, but humbling. Having my parents set me up with their "ideal candidate" was horrific. I must admit that letting my parents give their input, let alone set-up a date for me, was beyond desperate, but better than meeting the frat boy at the bar, or the hippy at the health food store. Suffice it to say, I decided that my family and friends thought me more needy than I did.

I know a handful of people who have found love through the internet. Such a ridiculous idea to me, I never once considered it an option. When I thought of internet dating, I thought of the most desperate people in my life... that it was a last ditch effort to connect with -well- anyone.

After weighing my options - blind dates, bars, and health food stores - I swallowed what little pride I had left, and listened to the stories of online dating. Two people that I know married their online date, and have been married for over five years each. Another will be walking down the isle in the very near future. It started to resemble a respectable way to meet new people, contrary to what I had originally thought: that it was a place for desperate people, stalkers, and crazy predators. Thank you, 60 minutes, for having given me the wrong impression.

Funny video - Ken finds Barbie on Match.com

Lonely New Years Eve

Having been invited to a few parties and events for New Years, but having been less than successful in finding a date, I decided to stay home. I rented a couple of movies, and bought a bottle of wine.

After watching Pretty in Pink, Say Anything, and P.S. I Love You (all sappy "chick flicks", of course), and passing-up the movies I had rented and had originally planned to watch, I turned and saw the computer preying on my lonely night. "Enough", I thought, and accessed the first online dating site that I could think of: Match.com.

I wrote and rewrote my bio presumably twenty times, uploaded a few pictures, and was done with the computer. The next morning, January first, I awoke to email after email from suitors. To my amazement, some were worth a glance.

I connected quickly with a few different people and went on quite a few dates. Inside, though, I still felt as though something were missing. Some guys were what I had come to expect: looking for the next-morning trophy. A few were more needy than I, acting as though we had been life-long friends. A couple were amazing, but lacking that spark.


Phil and I
Phil and I | Source

Game, set, match

After telling my friend that I was going to back-off once again, as this time I was not desperate, but overwhelmed, my health began failing me. I landed in the emergency room for the second time in a few months time. Not having someone with me was very unsettling, the pain of that worse than the pain in my back.

Once I left the hospital, someone I had casually texted with -from Match.com- texted me that he was going out with a friend, and I should join. Although in pain, and somewhat reluctant to drive, I decided to give the online dating world one more chance.

He told me a few things about himself that he felt that I needed to know, prior to meeting him. I reciprocated, and we realized that our secrets were the same. We were already seeming as two peas in a crazy-pod.

I showed up for a drink with my texter and a former colleague of his. I immediately felt comfortable. Love at first word. The guys were talking business, business, and more business; finally, people with intelligence, motivation, and a wealth of interesting topics to discuss. I -for the first time in public- confided in someone my business venture ideas. I felt a sense of ease that I had not known in quite some time.

Phil and I began dating, and the relationship moved rather quickly. So quickly that family and friends refused to hear it, just in case it were too good to be true. Everything just fell into place so easily. I did not have to try to converse, laugh, or smile.

I have found my soul mate... from the old computer in the corner of my once-lonely apartment.



Skip with me

I have considered crafting an imaginative story as to how Phil and I met... for the kids. However, my life motto is "Simplify". Keeping it simple, I found the love of my life through an online dating site. I am neither ashamed nor embarrassed to say it.

My brother once told me, while I was engaged to a less-than-noteworthy guy, that the one you are with should bring out the best in you. Phil most certainly does that for me. Since meeting him, I have begun my exploration of self-discovery in an entirely new light - writing at a whole new level, and finding what makes me happy and how to make it happen.

For the last several years of my life, I thought that I needed someone to make me whole. Phil has helped me to realize that I can stand on my own two feet, but that he is holding my hand while we walk together through life - ready to catch me if I fall, or skip with me when I succeed.


No need to be scared

Although this article is more of a blog than anything, I hope that I have made my point: do not be scared... to do anything. Life is short and simple; just live. No one can do it for you.

Get out there and try dating in a low-risk way: online dating. You do not have to meet anyone if you do not wish to. Creating a profile is easy, and on many sites, free, and looking is half of the battle! Have fun clicking through pictures and profiles, and being somewhat picky. Do not be scared to set high standards, too, as you deserve the absolute best.

Your Phil is waiting out there for you... Get out your pole, bait your hook, and catch him!


8/26/12, An Update

Phil and I are now married, and expecting a little boy in just a few short weeks. We are even more in love than ever! He is my best friend, and brings out the best in me - in ways I never thought one could.

More by this Author


Comments 33 comments

Bud Gallant profile image

Bud Gallant 5 years ago from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

I found your story to be highly engaging and interesting.

Thanks for sharing this. I'm glad you found someone you could connect with so well. It's funny how that works, isn't it? It's either there or it's not, and you usually know very quickly upon meeting someone.

I've never tried online dating myself, but I know it's a valid way to meet someone. After all, we are people, even when we're on the internet and we know the internet isn't full of lunatics and weirdos. I've seen a lot scarier people in person than I've ever met online, personally!


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Touche! I have never thought of it that way. Interesting perspective!

Thanks for reading, once again. It's nice to know that you're here not just for the money and networking, but to engage in the writing scene fully. I appreciate it very much.

Online dating (as with speed dating, blind dating, and the bar scene) isn't for everyone. However, I do hope that if you venture into the online dating world sometime in the future, you enjoy it thoroughly, and that it brings you luck! =]


Poetic Fool 5 years ago

This account of your journey was quite interesting. And you shouldn't be ashamed nor embarrassed how you met as you've stated. This is a new generation with new ways of communicating and meeting. I know of a number of people who have met online including my brother-in-law who met his wife on Match.com. Best of luck to you both!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Veronia--Wonderful Hub. Astounding talent you have. DO NOT ever, hide your gift under a bushel (basket interpreted). Love your work.


RedElf profile image

RedElf 5 years ago from Canada

How wonderful - and once you started working on yourself, and rediscovering who you really are, you were able to meet the right man. Kudos to you for a well-told story.


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

I appreciate your feedback! Thank you for your kind words. Funny how quitting the search enables what you were searching for to find you. =] Thanks, again, for reading & commenting!


mistifields profile image

mistifields 5 years ago

Very nice hub. Good writing.


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Thank you! I really appreciate hearing that. I sometimes still think about taking this one down, as it is more personal than I usually go w/ my writing...

Thanks for reading & commenting! =]


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

Veronica, this is a great hub! When you are not looking... I guess you were checking out Match.com, but it doesn't seem like you were searching very hard. I love your ending... or should I say beginning.

Up and across! :-)


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Haha You busted me! I guess I didn't write that part too well, ehh?

I wasn't really looking, but just wanted to see what the hype was about. That's a good way of putting it. =]

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this (it's a bit long!).

Yes, the beginning! We are now engaged, and planning our wedding!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

This is a great story. i loved the way you ended it. Congratulations on finding the love of your life -your match!


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Thank you, ma'am! I just read the last line aloud again. It makes me chuckle every time. =] I am glad that you enjoyed it as well!

Thank you so much for reading this story, and for leaving such a kind comment!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I loved it Veronica:) lol I am a sucker for romance. I always say - the only time I ever found a good man was when I wasn't looking for one:) haha!

Looks like you got really lucky:)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I try not to write this on comments but I can't control myself at the moment awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! There I feel better. I adored your story and thank you for sharing.

Your brother is very wise quoting him "My brother once told me, while I was engaged to a less-than-noteworthy guy, that the one you are with should bring out the best in you." Well said and very accurate!:)


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Fabulous story and inspiration for all of us for Valentine's Day. Congratulations!


Daisy Mariposa profile image

Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

Veronica,

Thanks for sharing your story. Phil and you look so happy together!

You're a great writer. Your enthusiasm for life really shines through in your work.


THEHuG5 profile image

THEHuG5 4 years ago

This is wonderful! I enjoyed reading your story so much and I know this will encourage more people to get out there. Online dating has such a stigma attached to it but I think that is slowly going away. There's nothing wrong with online dating. Voting up, congrats on finding your soulmate :)


alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

Thank you for sharing your experiences as it gives hope to all those who are seeking and not yet finding. Voting this Up and Awesome.


missolive profile image

missolive 4 years ago from Texas

A beautiful, romantic and endearing love story! I'm glad you met your match!

Thank you for sharing!

voted up!


SanneL profile image

SanneL 4 years ago from Sweden

Such a beautiful and encouraging story!

Phil sounds like a very wise and caring man who brings out the best in you. You are both so lucky to have found each other. Thank you for sharing this romantic and well written story.

Veronica, you are so very sweet and you deserve only the Best!

Sannel


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Oh my! I am a bit overwhelmed by the wonderful response to this!

RealHousewife - I like to think that I did. =] Thank you! Isn't it funny that it works out that way (find what you need when you stop looking)?

Sunshine - The fact that you wrote it makes me happy, especially since you don't normally "awww". =] It means even more knowing that! Yes, that brother of mine is quite a wise guy (in every sense). ;)

Tammy - I hadn't even thought of this being a Valentines Day-ish hub, but I have to agree! =] Thank you!!

Daisy - That is a beautiful comment! Thank you very much. I like to think that he's the good looking one, & I somehow blend in when I'm near him. He makes me look half-way decent... at times. hehe

TheHug5 - Well-said & right on point! I, too, hope that (even though this isn't front page news or a NY Times Best Seller) this may inspire someone; help motivate him/her to give it a try. Thank you for your comment!

Alocsin - Thank you so much, new friend! I mentioned in a comment way above that I had been apprehensive about publishing this. Comments like yours help me to realize that it was for a reason that I did. I appreciate your comment, and votes!

MissOlive - That is such an endearing compliment. Thank you! I am, too! hehe Thank you very much, too, for the vote! =] (& Happy Belated Bday!)

Sannel, Sannel, Sannel - I could compile a "book of beautiful words to tell yourself everyday" using only your comments. You always know just what to say to bring a smile to my face.

Caring, yes. I'm not so sure about "wise". ;) hehe He is a very brilliant man with an endless love of life. It's contagious!

Thank you for your encouraging words!


YasmeenAli profile image

YasmeenAli 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

I have to be honest, I was a little skeptical reading the title of your hub. I too consider myself independent, loving my free will and free time. Sometimes, I too get lonely. This hub got me thinking that maybe I should start thinking about putting myself out there. I don't mean finding a soul mate but having a little bit of fun now and then. Too much work work work is no good for the soul. Thanks Veronica!

-Yaz


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Yaz,

I understand your hesitance in reading. I appreciate that you did, and hearing that it wasn't so bad after all. Thank you for your feedback and reassurance! =]

There is nothing wrong with having fun! You never know where it may lead...

Best of luck to you in all that you do!


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

I really like this story, veronica. It's fun to read how people met their match. i can't remember if you've read my story of not but I'll be cross linking your story with mine :-) http://hubpages.com/relationships/One-Tremendous-Y...


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 4 years ago

Veronica ~ This was a great love story sharing your ups and downs and UPS! I loved watching that Ken and Barbie video. It added just the right touch to this blog. Blessings to the both of you, Debby


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Thank you, Justin!! Yes, I have read it & loved it. I will reciprocate, of course!! =] Thanks for the link!

Debby - Thank you! I loved that video. Thought it both quite amusing, but also appropriate and relevant. Thank you so much for your comment! =]


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

you're welcome, veronica!


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

Ok Veronica I am totally a sucker for happy endings and so glad I got to read your match.com success story and very happily have linked you on my success story too. Congrats (I saw the little added note from today) on being weeks out from having your first child (a little boy). such an exciting time and do remember very well and fondly too!! Have voted your story up, shared and tweeted too!!!


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Thank you, Janine! :) I appreciate that coming from a fellow match.com'er! hehe

Thank you for the comment, share, tweet, and link!!


sonfollowers profile image

sonfollowers 3 years ago from Alpharetta, GA

I love your story. Thanks for sharing. I think online dating sites are a great tool if you use them wisely. If you walk in with no boundaries ready to take the first guy who winks at you you're probably in trouble. Your story should be an encouragement to everyone who wants to find somebody but doesn't want to do that in a bar or at the office (risky, for sure). I'm glad you were able to give it a shot and see what comes of it. And look at you now!

PS. My wife and I are an online dating success story as well. :)


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Congratulations! :) I love hearing that others met online as well!


PCVSimmons profile image

PCVSimmons 3 years ago

Hi, I love love stories and yours made me smile, stay happy!


VeronicaFarkas profile image

VeronicaFarkas 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Thank you, thank you! :)

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working