How to Keep Your WIFE HAPPY (For Good Husbands... and Wives Too)

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“… I wish I could have five lives. Then I could have been born in five different towns, and eaten five times’s worth of food, and had five different careers, and fallen in love with THE SAME PERSON FIVE TIMES…” This is a quote sent to me through a text message from a good friend few days ago, and it made me laugh and think twice. Would a married man tell these things whole heartedly after marrying the woman he fell in love with?

Most of the time, I can hear my guy buddies complain about their wives being insensitive and how much they have changed after marriage. I laugh and say that, most (if not all) married women are asking those same questions.  As the old adage says, “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus…” the two genders will never ever really understand each other as much as they want to.  

I know that I am not in the right position to suggest things that may alleviate the burdens of these married men. As one of those women from Venus, I honestly don’t know how to understand men as much as I would like to. So I humbly admit that all I could do to give a little help for my buddies and to some husbands out there is to remind them again what truly makes a woman happy.

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Gone are the days when you were both carefree and could spend all the time being alone since your first child was born. And as naturally as other married people, you can always watch so many things that seem to change, like her mood that used to be so jolly and loving turned into being rude. She may also be feeling tired and exhausted most of the time that you slowly feel like you are her last priority.

Before you worry so much about the “evolution” of an adorable woman into a horrible monster, think twice. Here are a few things to keep in mind to at least understand your loving wife:

  • Marriage has given both of you new tasks and responsibilities, this means that both of you should adjust and make compromises if necessary.
  • If you worry that your wife is becoming physically ugly, analyze why. She might not have so much time to take care of herself because she puts the needs of your kids and yours her first priority before her own.
  • Being a single woman is so much easier than being a mom and wife, so if she starts to show some mood swings, or starts being rude, realize that she may need more of your attention and needs to communicate, or she might need some time alone.
  • Many (if not all) husbands manifest alterations from adorable to being a “monster” without them realizing it. So, before wondering why your wife is becoming a fearsome monster, be wary of your unconscious evolution too. You might be one of the causes of your wife’s horrible behavior.

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Make your wife HAPPY…

For husbands who are burdened with their wife’s “monstrous evolution”, be reminded that women can be truly happy with the little things that men do. We don’t really need the most expensive diamond with the best cut or the finest flower arrangements.

Here are a few ways to make your wife happy and for you to enjoy once again her beauty and grace that made you say “I do.” :

  • Stay with her and communicate, not just to hear but to listen. Most of the time, women just want someone that they can talk to, especially about their fears or just about anything. And most married women would prefer their husband to listen to them. Being listened to is far more meaningful than just being heard. Let us be reminded once again that listening is about paying attention on what others are saying and taking them into account, while merely hearing is just being aware on what others have to say without understanding with the heart. Women want to be understood. Most of the time, you don’t even have to say your opinion, just listen with your heart and be thoughtful to hug her after she talks.
  • Be sensitive when you are having a day off from work and change more diapers. When your child has a dirty diaper, don’t rely to your wife to change it all the time. Whenever time and space can allow you, do it for your wife and she will be very thankful.
  • Surprise her. No, you don’t need to buy some fancy stuff to do this. You can just get a sticky note pad, write things from your heart, or just a simple “I love you… have a great day ahead. Take loads of care!” note and placed somewhere where you are sure that she can find. Your wife will be so happy and yearn for the afternoon to come for you to be together again. You will have a big hug and a kiss instead of the usual bad mood or whinny statements that most husbands complain of. You may even have a hearty dinner together with the family, instead of opening canned goods because she feels so tired to cook.
  • Let her know that you are alright especially when you need to go out of town. Don’t forget to call her to tell her not to worry because you are okay. And if you do so, be sure that you are REALLY okay. And don’t forget to say “I love you” from the heart before hanging up.
  • If your wife has a job, visit her at her working place from time to time. You can bring some flowers or just invite her for lunch. She will soon be the envy of her co- workers for having a thoughtful and sweet husband, and as they tell her all these compliments, she will realize much more how much she has been blessed to have you for a husband. Sometimes, we all need constant reminders that we have wonderful husbands.
  • If your wife stays full time in the house, make her happy by helping her enjoy her hobbies much more and give her opportunities to make her own money. I love to make hand crafted jewelries and other things as such, and I love to write. So when my husband and I decided that I have to be a full time mom and wife, he bought and put up necessary materials so that I could enjoy doing my hobbies, and helped me make money out of them. This simple act of love enhances your wife's creativity, as well as her self esteem and even helps her stay away from boredom and depression. Aside from that, it gives her the chance to make extra cash even if she is not employed while enjoying all her time with you and the kids.
  • Hire a house helper if needed once a week or more often to keep your nest clean and comfortable. Help your wife with the household chores. Take note that doing this will get all the chores done faster and that means more time for you and the kids to bond together.
  • Say, “I love you” whenever she says the same. Women say these words from the heart and your wife deserves something equally affectionate. Never respond with “I know,” or other things like, “Thanks”.
  • NEVER compare her with other women. You married her because she is one of a kind, and make her feel that she is special because she is unique.
  • Take care of your kids as a “father” not the “baby- sitter”.
  • PLEASE DO NOT say bad words, especially when your kids are near enough to hear it. Your wife won’t be pleased to hear her 4 year old kid say the b***s*** words.
  • Never learn to forget to maintain your proper hygiene like you did when you were still a bachelor. Most husbands complain that their wife is becoming untidy and ugly, never realizing that they are undergoing the same transformation.
  • Watch your diet as much as you like your wife to watch hers.
  • Encourage your wife to bond with her good girl buddies. Let her go on a girl’s night out once in a while. She will thank you for that.
  • Never forget to give her a deep, slow, long and loving kiss. You never failed to do that when you were dating, now that you can do it anytime you like, do it whole heartedly again, and AGAIN… and AGAIN.
  • Keep in mind, the best things in life are FREE. I can still remember when I first used a hand bag to work which was given to me by my husband. One of my co- workers said, “Wow, I like your bag… where did you buy that?” and I answered, “I don’t know, my husband bought it for me.” And almost all of my married co- workers said, “Oh, you are so lucky to have a thoughtful husband...” I just said, “Oh, yes I am…” Deep in my heart, I know that I am really blessed for having a very thoughtful husband, not because of the bag or any material things that he has given me. What came to my mind that moment are the days that we spent eating street foods while we take a walk downtown… I most treasure the companionship he gives as we hold hands eating the cheapest food in town! And at this moment, I know, that if I could have FIVE LIVES, I WILL CHOOSE TO FALL IN LOVE FIVE TIMES TO THE MAN I MARRIED.

.... for WIVES TOO

Of course, there are many more ways to keep your wife happy. And I bet you know it better than me… Hey, she is YOUR WIFE you know her much more than anyone else does (aside from her parents maybe… lol!). Every day, keep in your heart and mind why you married her.

Errrr… I guess I have to address the wives out there too. Your husbands are struggling as much as you do, so as much as they like to keep you happy, try to make them feel the same. Try the tips above, and add up your own tricks.

“The best gift that a father can give to his children is to love their mother…” We have all heard this before… but can we make it this way, “The best way to show your kids that you love them is to love one another through the good and the bad…” For all married women, please do not put all the loads to your husbands, share the load with them and you will both be happy. Hey, husbands, please do the same! Have a joyful family life!

Copyright of DjBryle, 2011

Images courtesy of Nuttakit and Africa at Freedigitalphotos.net

It is BEST to GROW OLD with that ONE PERSON we vowed to LOVE and CHERISH FOREVER...

"... There is NO ROOM for TRUST in a MAN who can not be TRUE to someone that HE VOWED TO LOVE AND CHERISH before GOD and MAN. For if one can't be true to that promise, one can fool anyone around him... If behind any successful man is a woman, keep in mind that behind every successful, beautiful and happy wife is a THOUGHTFUL AND TRULY LOVING and TRUSTWORTHY HUSBAND..." (DjBryle, "Are You The OTHER ONE?")


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Comments 45 comments

Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Something I've learned from the ladies here at HP is that women are as passionate about bedtime as the men.;)


heart4theword profile image

heart4theword 5 years ago from hub

Nice video, went well with the writing in your hub:) Really enjoyed this read! Makes a person really stop and appreciate the love they have, with one another:) As I read this, I remembered how new and awesome my husbands love was...when we met:) Thank you!


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 5 years ago from I'm outta here

Well I must say, you have a very good guide as to how to keep your wife happy for good husbands and wives. Very sage and practical advice. Beautiful! :) Katie


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago

Very beautiful. Great music choice too. I wish you and your husband all the love possible. God bless your family!


FROM YESTERDAY 5 years ago

I lost my husband years ago. He was not the ideal kind but I can say that he loved me to the end of his days. He was a very good provider, not only with material things but much more on love and caring, not only to me but for our children as well. I will always see his eyes in the eyes of my good children to whom he has taught how to live life with love and integrity. I love this article. I recalled the days with my husband and I cried not just because I am missing him so much, but with joy because I know that I am so blessed to be loved by such an adorable and loving husband. Take care, anak.


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

MA- That is so true my friend, women loves bedtime as much as men do. You're such a thoughtful gentleman to keep in mind what you learn from ladies here at HP. Stay wonderful, my friend! God bless! =)


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Heart- I am so glad that you enjoyed this hub, my friend! Thanks for another warm comment... and most of all for always being there to inspire me to write more! God bless you and your family! =)


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Katie- Thanks so much for another heart warming comment from one of the hubbers that I admire most! God bless! =)


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Micky- Hey! Thanks for always visiting my hubs, my friend... We are wishing you the best of everything too! Stay sweet and wonderful! God bless! =)


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Yesterday- One of the best thing that could keep you going is keeping in your heart and mind that you've been loved by your wonderful husband through the good and the bad... I bet, he loves you much more now than he did back then. You have an angel looking back at you with a proud smile to have such a very loving wife! God bless you and your family! =)


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 5 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

I had saved this hub to read with a few from other hubbers, and glad I did. How true, we, well at least moi, do not need a diamond cut ring with the finest of flowers to feel appreciated. My mate often picks flowers from our garden during the sumemr, and surprises me with a bouquet in my office; also with post it notes with little messages which is endearing too. I do the same, give him little surprises here and there.

Loved your hub, so glad you also have a loving relationship. I wish this for every man and woman on this planet. :)

Rated up and beautiful.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

Such sage advice! You are correct in that what we cherish the most are not things, but time and the little courtesies that add up to truly feeling loved and cherished. Sounds as though you have a good man and husband as do I. We are fortunate!


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

Wow....this was very inspiring, especially for us who have married. Unfortunately I haven't married. But I'll keep this information. So I always keep my wife happy. I thought all husband should read this hub. Good work, my friend. I give my vote to you. God bless you!

Love and peace,


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Violet Sun- I am so happy to hear from you again! You have such a very romantic and thoughtful mate... now, I don't wonder how you have such a wonderful soul.

I am glad that you loved this hub...

You are a blessing to know at HP... Thanks! Wishing you and your mate the best in everything! God bless! =)


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Peggy- Hey, we really are, my friend! lol! Thanks for leaving another heart warming comment! I'll be back at your page to enjoy more of my virtual tour! See you, and always take care! =)


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Prasetio- Hey, your future wife will be so fortunate too! Glad to see you at my page again, my friend! Thanks for always leaving me kind words! God bless! See you around! =)


dablufox profile image

dablufox 5 years ago from Australia

Another extremely insightful hub full of great advice and valuable wisdom, I will be taking some of your great advice away with me, thank you so much!


ahostagesituation profile image

ahostagesituation 5 years ago

I love this, DjBryle. For some reason, I get smothered fast in a relationship, and it's kind of the opposite of what I want. Weird, some girls would like that--it gives me hives. You've written a very sensitive article, and I've been accused before of acting single (not cheating, just wanting a lot of space) in a relationship, so I know it's something I have to work on. Wives/mothers have it hard in my opinion, especially if they're with a jerk.


ThunderKeys profile image

ThunderKeys 5 years ago

What an absolutely perfect Hub! Do you mind if I link this to my marital counselling articles? Your writing rocks! Also, Wow!


gajanis786 profile image

gajanis786 5 years ago

Extremely useful.....very nice workable tips.....Thanks.


gr82bme profile image

gr82bme 5 years ago from USA

Dj,In this hub you described most men, men are a like. It is like it is hereditary and is handed down from one generation to the next.

Men say we change? What about them? After the wedding day they start changing.

My husband and I have been married for over 30 years and he still does not listen to me. They call it nagging. If we did not have to keep repeating ourselves it would not sound like nagging. Now I see it in my eldest son and his son,who is only 11.

My other son will take advice and does want to please his wife. He does small things like flowers,letting her sleep and take care of the girls,going out to lunch.

I have told him it is the little everyday help that is done and not begged for that means a lot.

I do love my husband. We have grown together, but I do tell him I think he still treats women like second class citizens. Like men did 50 years ago.

Yep there are still some left. I have one.


ladyjojo profile image

ladyjojo 5 years ago

Lovely hub great lesson for those men/husbands.

Is that you in the pics above if yes, you are very beautiful.

God bless you


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Dablufox- Tahnks so much for always having kind words for my hubs! God bless!


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

ahostagesituation- lol! That's true, my friend! And I understand how you feel when you say you need a lot of space! You add more insight to this hub. Thank for dropping by! See you around!


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Thunderkeys- Sure, my friend you can link this hub anytime! It's an honor on my part. Thanks for dropping by and for those heart warming words! God bless!


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Gajanis- Thanks for your kind words and for dropping by! =)


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Tina- Thanks so much for always adding substance to my hub! That's true, men can be insensitive sometimes... lol! Thanks for dropping by again! God bless! =) - Jen -


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Ladyjojo- Oh, thanks so much for the heart warming copliment on this hub and on my image! Hey, you are beautiful too! God bless you more, my friend! See you around! =)


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

A very good hub to bring up.I think with love we start becoming a mother to our husbands which is what makes the romance cool, they don't thank us that we have to accept and ignore this new role of dealing with men's dirty socks and underwear, love might last forever if not for that. Kidding, but kind of true, it is not easy to be mother one minute and lover the next. It take true love to work through this, and men realizing to be what they "really" want they have to lose the fringe benefits.Having a boy and girl a year apart is the best that happened to make us grow up. We both loved and shared that responsibility so no complaints there. Well until their teens, we use to joke that we before this argued who got the kids in case of divorce but after teens we argued who had to take them! Again, just kidding. Kind of.


gr82bme profile image

gr82bme 5 years ago from USA

Dj, it is easy when there is a great topic to begin with

Tina


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Polly- I agree, my friend. Being a woman is so difficult! lol! Thanks for adding so much substance to this hub. It is always a pleasure and an honor to have you at my page. Stay happy!

Tina- hey! Thanks for dropping by again, my friend! I am so honored and blessed having you around all the time. I wish I could spend more time at HP soon. God bless! =)


Tweetmom profile image

Tweetmom 5 years ago from Newark

LOVE this!! great work sister! :)


andromida profile image

andromida 5 years ago

I think you know all the secrets anyone can imagine to to make a man or woman happy.I just know keeping oneself as much sensible as possible will help make his or her qualities to be visible in daily life.I also know that I must tweet this hub to my friends :)

I hope you are well.Thanks a lot.

Regards

Andromida


Woody Marx profile image

Woody Marx 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

This Hub is Awesome AND Beautiful and full of everything I wish I had! Great inspiration.


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Totally awesome. A great read for all!


truthfornow profile image

truthfornow 5 years ago from New Orleans, LA

Great advice.


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan

DrBryle, Wonderful Hub on a needed topic! I am a blessed wife! You delivered some great suggestions.


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Tweetmom- thanks so much sister! See you around!

Andromida- It is so good to hear from you again my friend. =)God bless!


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Woody Marx, Accaetnna, Truthfornow and Treasuresofheaven- Thank you all so much for your kind words! See you around! God bless! =)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Excellent and heart-felt words of advice. I liked that you said you would rather have a man listen and not just hear. I'll work on that. =:)


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 5 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Winsome- Thanks so much for appreciating this hub. Have a happy family life! God bless! =)


services4all profile image

services4all 4 years ago from U.S.

Nice post dear, Please keep on posting this type of nice posts. Really Like it.

Please follow me & comments on my posts if u have time.


yeagerinvestments profile image

yeagerinvestments 4 years ago from Wisconsin

Great article. My wife and I are still getting used to having a baby around and it's been almost a year. I feel like I'm just now getting used to it and we are starting to 'click' again. It's tough but I know the way treat her will reflect how she is to me. I have to be the example.


gajanis786 profile image

gajanis786 4 years ago

Very nice hub.....I would say it's an eye opener for many husbands, many of whom lives an illusion-ed life that having fulfilled all material needs of their lives completes their responsibilities as husbands.....this hub clearly educates them that the more important job is to be with your wife at the time of her need and involves with her mentally and physically in day to day affair also. Thank you.


denden mangubat profile image

denden mangubat 3 years ago from liloan, cebu, philippines

that's why i am not yet married hehe.i like this hub i learned

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