How To Catch A Cheating Spouse And Move On After Infidelity

Catch A Cheating Spouse

Is something making you suspicious? Wondering if your spouse is cheating is difficult enough and finding out for sure is worse, but for closure, you just have to know. You already know that you have had problems, but did not think it could ever come to cheating or giving up on the relationship.

When you suspect a spouse of cheating you torcher yourself everyday wondering if you caused it to happen, especially if you've cheated yourself.

The first thing before you go to find out is to determine if the relationship is worth holding on to If it isn't, why find out just to hurt yourself if the relationship is not worth hanging onto anyway? If you are not with your soul mate and are not emotionally secure or in love it is a no brainer to move on.

However if this is something you really want, it will take you and your spouse to work hard to make it work after coming to terms with the infidelity. Maybe there has been a strain in the relationship or maybe you've been taking each other for granted, which happens to all of us at times.

If this is the case, your partner may just need a break and is not cheating. In a relationship where we have to depend on each other to protect us emotionally and for obvious health reasons, there is not excuse.

Reasons People Cheat in a Relationship

People cheat in relationships because they are too much of a coward to break things off or too greedy and trifling to give into temptation. Ouch! It's true and we all know it. Cheat is an addictive and dangerous behavior.

They always seem to blame the person they cheated on for their behavior instead of telling you what they needed or asking what they could do for you.

People use these reasons to justify their cheating.

  • You didn't feel wanted.
  • You gained weight
  • You didn't say "I love you".
  • You forgot to say good-by.
  • You didn't appreciate me.

Of course there is not a good enough reason for cheating in any relationship, but you have to understand how it could have happened. We don't pick the baggage we carry around from past bad relationships that make us act adversely in our own; but should be mature and decent to walk away or talk out problems as a responsible adult.

Knowing that we carry baggage and respond in bad ways can be something we may have to come to terms with and work out together. I wonder how many people think that by paying the bills they are entitled to do whatever they want to outside of the marriage. This is not a new concept.

How To Catch A Cheater Spouse

If you find out that your partner is not cheating, you will be in a position to apologize for spying. But if they are cheating, you will have to make the decision to forgive them or walk away if there is no hope.

Whatever you do it's not worth going to jail for stalking or disturbing the peace! You can't lose what’s yours. Evaluate yourself worth and move on, if it comes to this. Your world would be so much more pleasant if you’re with someone that want you.

  • Follow spouse
  • Check cell phone and text.
  • Hire a detective.
  • Call Cheaters
  • Lie detector

They Cheated Now What?

After cheating sit down and really talk it out with your spouse. Let's face it, if you are in love you will not throw your relationship away and you will do your best to strengthen your bond and grow from the experience. However, it the cheating continues. You have to except, this person is ill or not yours any longer. Time for tough love. Saying good-by may be in order.

How To Move On After Infidelity

Moving on after infidelity will take the both of you to make this work. You will both have to be committed to fixing the relationship by learning communication skills and learning how to sincerely interact in each other’s life.

You both cannot live together separately. This doesn't work. A couple needs to spend personal time together just like they did in the beginning to show interest.

  • Counseling
  • Forgiveness
  • Planned dates to talk about concerns and ideas.
  • Planned vacations without others to reconnect.

In some cases a person can be preyed on and manipulated. A snake will find a weak person and shower them with charm that will make them fill like they have never felt before. I call this person "Slick". slick will cater to all of your needs and make you feel great until they get what they want and tear your family apart. You will then have nothing for a few moment of pleasure.

Forgiveness means not using the bad deed to destroy the self esteem of the accused, but to call a truce and work harder to build a stronger relationship. The most wonderful gift we can have is love; that is forgiving and builds on an unbreakable structure. You will be surprised how many people have been cheated on and forgave and now live to celebrate their 50th anniversary as role models and strong family units.

All the jewels in the world could not make a person more cherished than a person that forgave them when they were at their worst. Don't get me wrong, some people are better off apart. Some very good people have made some terrible mistakes, which one are your dealing with? If you are in the position to leave the relationship, you will want to learn the best way to move on after a difficult relationship.

Good Luck!

More by this Author


Comments 3 comments

Elearn4Life profile image

Elearn4Life 2 years ago Author

Finding out that you partner is cheating is definitely painful. But not knowing can be deadly. A healthy relationship is being in one with a person that wants you as much as you want them.

Live can get complicated when we stop communicating. We think that we are not important and are being taking for granted. These reasons or any other are not a reason to cheat. Fix it; just like you would your computer if it gets a virus. You know what you have to do if the damage is irreversible.

How can you ever experience the kind of love and trust that instills confidence, sexual and emotional freedom without trust. You can't...My opinion.

Thank you very much for your comments. Tiffany I humbly apologize for never seeing your comment. I hope your self esteem has flourished and you have moved on to something stress free and loyal.


stbrians profile image

stbrians 2 years ago from Vihiga County,Western Kenya

I believe finding out brings more heartaches


tiffany 4 years ago

my man is going to the club and hes smelling like sex and hes saydbhes not cheating at all and i want to see how many he slempt with

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working