How To Never Give Up Hope On Your Alcoholic Spouse

STICKING BY YOUR SPOUSES SIDE

After drinking alcohol for many years I always had my spouse by my side even though she disagreed with the way I lived my life. Sure she threatened me of leaving and in fact did so once in our 32 years of marriage.

By her leaving me, it made me think what was more important, "my wife and family or alcohol?" I straightened up and began to live a somewhat normal life, but it was short lived for the fact that I knew she was back to stay and slowly but surely I began drinking alcohol a little bit at a time until I was right back to where I was when she left before.

She figured that my life wouldn't change until I was willing to change it on my own. She loved me so and knew that I was a great guy, except for my drinking problem. So, she hung in there with me and even though she reminded me of my bad habit each and everyday she still loved and cared for me enough to stay by my side through thick and thin.

NEVER GIVE UP

Giving up on anything in life is something none of us should ever do in the first place. You need to remain positive in life and keep trying until you accomplish what you set out to do.

When it comes to living with an alcoholic you need to know how to never give up on your alcoholic spouse. Your spouse needs you and you need them going through your addiction to alcohol. If you are the alcoholic in the family you may feel you need no one in your life except your best friend alcohol.

Believe me, you need your spouse to be there even though he/she hounds you to death about your alcohol addiction and how much you over drink.

Don't do something to your spouse that will scar he/she for life and not want to ever see your face again. This can happen easily if you happen to be a nasty drunk. There are of course people that are addicted to alcohol that may be a happy drunk and then there are those drinkers that are out right nasty, hurtful and sometimes very dangerous when drinking.

MY WIFE - MY LIFE

Source

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

This is my personal experience with drinking alcohol and how my wife stood by my side for better or worse, as we recited that vow on our Wedding Day 32 years ago, (for Better or for worse.)

THIS IS MY STORY AND JUST MAYBE WHAT I HAVE TO TELL YOU MAY RING A BELL TO YOU IF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE AN ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL AND YOUR SPOUSE HAS STOOD BY YOUR SIDE AS MINE DID ALL THOSE YEARS.


My wife and I got married May 8th of 1981. One our Wedding day I went out with my Father to have just one more time alone drinking in a bar and talking about what was about to happen in just hours.

I have to admit I was a bit nervous and a bit sad for I will not be able to go out with the guys drinking alcohol every night like the old times, BUT I was about to change my life being married to the love of my life.

One thing I regret on that day I drank with my Dad was I did over drink and had that buzz I was so used to having. We were married at night in my wife's parents basement. It was a huge basement that fit 68 of our guest and a 4 piece band.

It was a beautiful evening and everyone had a great time, although it was very unfair of me to be out drinking to the point I was drunk when it was time to get married. That was so wrong and to this day I regret it.

So, my point is, that even from that night I was married, my wife had put up with me drinking too much alcohol.

After the Wedding was over it was then time to leave and go to the Hotel I rented to hang our hats and sober up over night until we left the next morning for our honeymoon in Sunny Florida.

I still cannot believe that I drove to the Hotel as drunk as I was. If that were today, I am sure I would of got pulled over and arrested for a DUI for sure, and more than likely be locked up on my Wedding night.

I must admit I could not wait to get to Florida and have a great honeymoon with my new wife. The problem with that was I wasn't alone with only my wife, I brought along someone else. The person that was sitting on my shoulders for years, my demon of alcohol.

I couldn't go one night without drinking, even though my new wife had a couple drinks each night with me. She was not someone that drank lots of alcohol. She really couldn't hold her alcohol and would never be able to drink to my standards. I thought it was nice that she had a few drinks with me, but today I feel that I forced her to do something that she really didn't like to do.

As the years went by and she was sober and sober could be, she still put up with my drinking. She repeatedly reminded me of how I was ruining my body with that poison, but I really didn't care too much because the demons I have been carrying around with me for years made me think much different.



THE ALCOHOLIC SPOUSE

DO YOU LIVE WITH A ALCOHOLIC SPOUSE THAT YOU NEVER GAVE UP HOPE ON?

  • Yes, I live with an alcoholic spouse and have given up all hope.
  • Yes, I live with an alcoholic spouse BUT have never gave up hope for he/she sobriety.
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HOW MY SPOUSE NEVER GAVE UP HOPE ON ME

My wife never gave up hope on me because she knew deep down inside her that I had fine qualities and was a good provider, husband and father even though I had a huge drinking problem.

As I mentioned earlier, she did leave me once for about a month or so, but has stood by my side ever since. Things really started to get worse with my drinking, because as you all know, that when drinking alcohol, the more you drink, the more it takes to get to that buzz you are so used to having.

I was drinking up to 18 beers or more in one evening after work. They were going down like water. My wife noticed I was getting worse by the day and had enough of the life that I was giving her. I stayed home from many functions because I wanted to just stay home and drink alone in my garage.

She then had to do what she thought would never happen again and that was telling me if I don't stop drinking alcohol NOW that she had no choice but to leave me, and this time it would be for good and not for one month or so.

For some reason I knew deep down inside of me that this time she meant business, and this was no joke by any means. I can't blame her for what she told me, after all, she put up with my drinking for at least 25 years.

This made me stop and think real hard. This is do or die Mark, I said to myself!

I asked myself, "is it really worth losing everything?" My wife, my children and my family all over an alcohol addiction?

At that point I made my mind up once and for all to say goodbye to my demons of alcohol. The next day, I told my wife I was sorry for what I have put her and the family through for all these years and that I was going to stop drinking alcohol forever.

These words to my wife were hard to say, but I wanted my family more than any alcohol. She was very surprised, but maybe not because she knew I loved her and the children from the bottom of my heart, but I just had a problem with alcohol.

She always told me that I was a strong person and had determination to do anything in my life, so I was about to prove to her how much determination I had to not lose the love of my life all because of alcohol. It was my time in life to shine and prove myself, not only to my family,but to myself. I was about to show everyone including myself that I can and will get clean and sober and stay that way forever.

I have proved to everyone, and to myself, that I am stronger than my past addiction to alcohol.

Our marriage has thrived since I stopped drinking alcohol on October 27th 2009.

My wife stood by my side because of the love she had for me and she knew eventually I would see the light when the time was right. She never gave up hope on me and knew that I would be sober one day when I was ready.

I WANT TO THANK MY WIFE FOR GIVING ME A WONDERFUL LIFE EVEN THOUGH I MIGHT NOT HAVE GIVEN HER THE SAME THROUGH THE YEARS. I NEED TO THANK HER FOR GIVING ME THE OPTION OF (HER OR ALCOHOL) AND PUTTING THE POINT ACROSS STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE ME CHANGE MY LIFE.




THANK YOU HONEY FOR SAVING MY LIFE AND OUR MARRIAGE!

THIS IS A STORY TO PROVE A POINT TO NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!

What I have just written about regarding my addiction to alcohol is to make a point for anyone that has an alcoholic spouse, to never give up HOPE on them because when the time is right for alcoholic they will get sober.

It may take years, as it did for me, but it happened and I am now living a life of sobriety all because my spouse never gave up hope on me.

So, it is very possible for any alcoholic to get and stay sober even though they may think it is not humanly possible. If you have the willpower, the determination and need and want for a new life it will will indeed happen. It happened for me and it can happen for you also, so DO NOT give up hope ever!

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4 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

Mark, you married a good woman for sure, but then she married a good man....and don't ever forget it. :)

blessings my friend

bill


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Bill, thank you so much for your kind words my friend! I am blessed to have her and I am blessed to have friends like you Bill! I felt I needed to write this to show others that sobriety is real if you have the will to surrender to your addiction and to have a spouse by your side. It's real and sobriety ROCKS for sure. Life great Bill and God Bless you!

Mark


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Your wife loves you and stood by your side during these difficult moments of your life. The most beautiful example of unconditional love. Great hub!


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

lovedoctor926 - Thank you Marleen for your kind words on this hub and so many hubs more as well. When we took our wedding vows they said for better or worse, richer or poorer in sickness and in health and she obeyed those vows, as I did, and would for her. That is what a marriage should be in my eyes, unless of course there is violence, hitting or anything that is truly wrong.

God Bless you dear and thanks again :)

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