How to Ruin Your Wedding

Your wedding day is a very big day in your life. You want it to be special. You want it to be flawless. You want to be able to look at your wedding photos years from now and smile at the memory of that wondrous day. So you plan and plot and spend a lot of money to make sure everything is perfect. What you might not be thinking about is how easy it can be to take well-laid plans and turn them into chaos. The tiniest little mishap can have you locking the photo album up forever never to be seen again. Here are some very easy ways to ruin your wedding.

Alcohol - People like to get drunk at weddings intentionally or not. There's a festive feeling when large groups gather to celebrate and many a wedding party has rued the day they decided to offer an open bar for guests. But even if Aunt Sally stumbles on the dance floor in a cloud of gin or your best friend, Randy, drunkenly starts singing at the top of his lungs, it still may not ruin your wedding. What will is if you, the bride, or you, the groom, get drunk. Not only will you lose all the dignity your position as guest of honor commands, but you will be an embarrassment to more sober guests. This is not good thing and may get your honeymoon bliss off to a bad start.

Exes - No matter how well you get along with your ex-girlfriend or your ex-husband, inviting them to your wedding may ruin it. While you may think you're all mature enough to handle it, weddings are emotional days and mixed with alcohol can be volatile. If you are willing to invite your ex, is it also okay for your spouse-to-be to do the same? Got you there. Also having the ex there could cause other family members to feel uncomfortable. If there are children involved the situation could prove confusing for them. Best to leave the exes off the guest list.

Venue - You've always dreamed of a wedding on the French Riviera or on the golden beaches of Australia. It's probably best to save this trip for your honeymoon. Having your wedding at some far away destination could ruin it. Invited friends and relatives will likely not want to or afford to travel that far no matter how much they love you. If you choose to get married in a far off land, you may have to settle for a very small wedding and some feelings could be hurt.

Attire - Wearing an extra long train on your dress or choosing some off the wall clothing theme may ruin your wedding. It's okay to veer from the traditional but just remember you will be wearing this all day. An extra long dress train could be cumbersome, dragging along dust bunnies and tripping a drunken guest. Odd costumes may seem a fun novelty at the time but sharing with the grandkids years later may prove embarrassing. It might be best to keep it simple.

Cuisine - Part of a great wedding is great food. When choosing your menu for that special day, remember that not everyone who attends might share your taste for unusual or exotic food. Serving raw oysters may make someone sick and fondues are clumsy and messy. It probably would be best to stay away from spicy fare as well. You may like curry and sriracha sauce but Grandma may have to excuse herself. Even serving steak is chancy because not everyone likes it rare. Again keep it simple.

Weather - Choosing to have an outdoor wedding is always a crap shoot. You may get lucky in the spring or summer but weather, of course, is always unpredictable. Rain, cold or high winds could ruin your wedding. It would be wise to have a back-up plan. Provide some shelter or tents or have an alternative indoor area to use in case of inclement weather. If it's at night, make sure there's plenty of lighting. Guests stumbling into a pool or tripping over a rock would not be cool.

Music - Not everybody likes the same music. That's a given. When deciding what kind of entertainment you will be having for your guests, keep in mind that there will be people of all ages there. It would probably be best to pass on head-banging heavy metal or gangsta rap. Try to choose a band (or a DJ) that plays generally popular song choices for dancing and listening. And remember, "The Chicken Dance", for obvious reasons, will make people cringe.

Toast - The wedding toast to the bride and groom is not supposed to make them wish for a giant hole to open up and swallow them. Anecdotes are fine but bringing up past relationships or embarrassing moments will ruin the wedding. This is supposed to be a tribute to the happy couple with a little humor thrown in not a tell-all or an insult fest. It's best to make sure that the wedding speech isn't epic or revealing. If it is, the silence you hear may be deafening.

Extreme - Some thrill seekers are just not satisfied with an ordinary wedding. They want their wedding to stand out, to be extreme. That's all well and good if that's what you want as a couple. But it may ruin your wedding. Most guests will pass on hiking up a steep mountain (especially in high heels) even if they love you and it would be very difficult to convince Grandma to don snorkeling gear. Never mind that your expensive wedding dress might be ruined on the back of a camel or on water skis. In the long run, it's probably best to stray a little closer to the traditional.