Cool Conversation Starter Tips for Every Situation and How To Start A Conversation With A Stranger


Have you ever wanted to get to know someone, but you didn't know how to start the conversation? A good conversation starter is like starting a car engine. If you don’t know how to start the engine, you will not go anywhere. “Haven’t we met before?” may sound too common and obvious. There is a way to turn this common icebreaker into a cool and natural conversation opener. Starting a conversation with strangers can be easy, if you know how to go about it. Here are a few simple and cool conversation starter tips and strategies that I have found useful.

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Is she/he interested to talk to me?

If you wonder whether the stranger is interested to talk to you, observe their body language. They will show their interest non-verbally by:

· looking at you more than once

· smiling at you, having their arms and legs uncrossed in an open position

· have their legs crossed towards you

Persons of opposite sex who are attracted to you may indicate their interest in several more gestures such as

· straightening their clothes

· combing their hair

· caressing certain parts of their bodies

· rubbing an object like a glass or chair

· letting you catching them looking at you, and then holding their gaze a few more seconds before turning their eyes away

How do I start?

Once you have decided whom you are interested to start the conversation, the subsequent step is to smile, make eye contact, and speak.

While many people sit around pondering with uncertainty for the ‘perfect’ conversation starter, research has shown that what you say is relatively insignificant. However, it helps to start with positive openers. Negative openers generally discourage others to talk to you and will probably set a depressed tone for the conversation. A man once approached a woman in a party and started conversation with, ‘Oh my, I can’t stand all this rock music!’ She replied, ‘Well then, why are you still here?’

So, first tip: Start with positive openers.

A good conversation starter doesn’t have to be wonderfully clever, witty, funny or meaningful; ordinary comments are just fine.

What is important is the opportunity to make the first contact and get the conversation going thereafter. If the other person is interested, he or she will help you to find common interest and move the conversation to a more personal level.

Second tip: Start with ordinary comment.

 

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What To Do When She Doesn’t Reply

I know you’ve been there. You thought there was a connection. She seemed really interested and couldn’t wait to give you her number. You even allowed your thoughts to wander to “maybe she’s the one” and then…she never calls you back. Don’t worry brochacho, it’s happened to us all. Read on and find out the best way to handle that situation with dignity and awareness.

What should I say?

Thinking up a conversation starter is simple. Basically, you have three areas of topic to choose from. To remember it, think of the acronym, SOY :

1. Situation

2. Other Person

3. Yourself

And there are only three ways to start, remember the acronym GAS :

1. Give an opinion

2. Ask a question

3. State a fact

Your first aim is to get the other person interested to talk to you, so the best approach to start a conversation is usually by asking a question.

There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation.” ~James Nathan Miller

Closed ended questions are fine, but avoid asking too many of them in a row. Stating an opinion works well too, certainly better than just voicing out a fact. When you talk about facts like, ‘It rains a lot lately,’ or ‘The house is beautiful’, the fact doesn’t involved the other person, so, the next step is to ask a question, such as, ’Have you tasted the cheese? It’s so delicious.’ Basically, switch between asking a question, giving an opinion or stating a fact to start the conversation. Let’s have a look at the ‘SOY’ topics, and see how we can use them in starting a conversation.

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Cool Pick-Up Lines

I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.

The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

Be unique and different, say yes.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!

Do you have the time? [Tells you the time] No, the time to write down my number?

Hi, how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn't ask you how you looked!

I'm sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.

How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice... Hi, I'm (insert name here).

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)

Stare at girl . ("What're you staring at?")

Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.

You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.

Talk About the Situation

Talking about the situation you are both in is usually the safest and easiest of the three ‘SOY’ options to start a conversation. It is less likely to provoke anxiety than talking about the other person. It is also more likely to encourage involvement of the other person than talking about yourself.

To start a conversation about the situation, look around to find things that interest or puzzle you. If possible, look for things that the other person is also likely to want to talk about. Here are some examples of openers under different situations or surroundings. Keep in mind that they are no better than what you are likely to come up with. Saying something is often better than remaining speechless.

At a bowling game:

‘Which team do you think will win? Why do you say that?’

At an art gallery:

‘What do you suppose the artist wanted to say?’

At a supermarket:

‘I notice you are buying artichokes. Do you by any chance know how to choose a good one? ‘

‘I notice that you bought some apple cider vinegar. I have always wondered, is it really beneficial for health?’

‘I notice that you have chosen some beetroot. I have always been curious, how do you prepare them?’

"Would you like a taste of my forbidden fruit?" ~ contributed by Jasmine JellyBaby

Waiting in line for a movie:

‘What have you heard about this movie? What made you decide to watch it?’

Waiting in a queue:

‘Hi, this queue doesn't seem to be moving much, does it? Since we have to spend hours here queuing, I guess I should introduce myself: I am Dave. What is your name?’

To a neighbour:

‘Your roses bloom so beautifully. What’s your secret? What’s that you’re working on?’

‘I could not help but notice that you have a new dog. What’s his name? Where did you get it from?’

In an elevator:

‘This must be the world’s slowest elevator.’ (If the other person is interested to talk to you, he or she may response by comparing it to another elevator somewhere else.)

And here is a good ice-breaker in an elevator by David Wygant:

“What is it about elevators that make everyone so quiet? We all do the same thing in an elevator: we look at the buttons and say nothing. So, how are you today?”

At a Laundromat :

‘Would you mind showing the settings I should use for this machine?’

‘How much detergent do you think I should put in?’

In a classroom:

‘I missed the lecture yesterday, what did the lecturer talk about?’,

‘What do you think will come out in the exam?’,

‘What do you think the teacher meant by that?’

At a shop to the salesgirl,

‘What would you recommend for a party dress?’

In an airplane:

‘Which movie would you recommend? Have you watched any of these movies?’

‘Hi, I could not help but noticed the book you are reading, ‘Eat, Pray, Love’. So, what do you think about it? And by the way, my name is Dave.

In a party:

‘How did you happen to be at this party?’

‘Hi! I am Dave. My friend and I were just talking about what women value the most in men they date, and could not agree. Would you mind giving us your opinion?’

"Hello, I feel I should know you" and proceded to introduce yourself. ~ contributed by Les Trois Chenes

"How much does a polar bear weigh?" "Not sure..." "Enough to break the ice. I'm _____" ~ contributed by TylerCapp

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Talk About The Other Person

Most people are glad to talk about themselves and will be pleased to respond to any questions or comments about themselves. Before you start, observe what the other person is doing, reading, saying, looking or wearing and think of something you would be interested to know more about.

At a party:

‘That’s an interesting T-shirt. Tell me, what does that symbol stands for?’

In the street:

‘You look lost. How can I help?’

‘I am looking for Body shop, would you mind telling me the direction to get there?’

After a meeting:

‘That was an interesting comment you made just now. Tell me, why do you think the property prices are escalating lately?’

To an air stewardess:

‘I have often curious about the qualifications required to be an air stewardess. Do you mind telling me about it?’

At a sports event:

‘You’re the best player here. What do you do to train?’

While jogging:

‘What kind of running shoes are those ? Why do you choose that brand?’

 

Talk About Yourself

Though common as they are, conversation starters about yourself seldom stimulate conversation. Research has shown that strangers are often than not more interested to talk about themselves than talking about you. Unless you are asked a question about yourself, your profession, interests or family, it is best not to volunteer information about yourself.

You can do it !

Starting a conversation is probably the most challenging part in the beginning of a relationship. If you don’t start, there will not be a beginning.

A turtle travels only when it sticks its neck out. ~ Korean Proverb

Don’t forget that many people are the same as you, and they need courage to start a conversation. Therefore, don’t be afraid to be the first to initiate a conversation. Who knows, one day, you may find yourself sharing your brave or memorable first encounter with your grandchildren.

If you need more tip or a push, get a social lubricant .... beer ! (as recommended by rmcali01)

 


Copyright

The text and all images on this page, unless otherwise indicated, are owned by Ingenira who hereby asserts her copyright on the material. Permission must be granted by the author in writing prior to copy or republish this article in print or online. However, please feel free to copy the first paragraph with a link back to this page. Thank you.

© Ingenira

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Comments 93 comments

Chloe#34 3 years ago

I have a huge crush on this hot teacher in my college. Though he doesn't teach our department, I see him almost everyday and I clearly get the vibes he likes me too. Could you please suggest how I could strike a fruitful first conversation with him? :P


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Ingenira 3 years ago Author

Glad to hear that, vikramdude.


vikramdude745 3 years ago

very informative. even shy ones like me with have a bit more at their disposal to start an interesting conversation. thanks


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Ingenira 3 years ago Author

ayGthreep, nicely said. A smile is a good start to any friendship. :)


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Ingenira 3 years ago Author

Mobile Spy, thanks so much. I am glad that you have found this site helpful and informative.


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Ingenira 3 years ago Author

Thank you, plammumark for your most kind remarks.


ay Gthreep 3 years ago

"Friendship begines with a smile as a sea from a brook." but now i have a way with the ladies. How do i naintain it. Sure u handle dat. Good work. SOY GAS.


Mobile Spy 3 years ago

I’ve searched many sites and have yet to come across a site that has been as helpful and informative as yours .


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plammumark 4 years ago from Erode

The post is handsomely written. I have bookmarked you for keeping abreast with your new posts.

http://ammumarket.net


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Sun-Girl.


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Sun-Girl 5 years ago from Nigeria

Great hub, thanks for sharing.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Glad to see you here, fibo. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.


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fibo777 5 years ago

Very interesting topic. We have forgotten how to communicate in real life. Everything happens in cyberspace most of the times. Thanks for all the tips. Very useful!


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Glad it helps, sarclair. :)


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sarclair 5 years ago

This is a very useful hub. Thank you. I have a hard time starting up a conversation.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

LOL... LukeMason, that was a good ice-breaker.


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LukeMason 5 years ago from Florida

Great Hub!

I will definitely remember SOY and GAS next time I'm in a conversation!


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Neil Sperling, it is great to see you again ! Thank you so much for your vote.


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Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

people skills are by far the most valuable to develop - this is a great hub - you got my vote UP ^5


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, Tom. You are so right about what you said. I sure hope more men will be brave enough to step forward, as we women surely like to be pursued. :)


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TomC35 5 years ago from Georgia

Unfortunately it is easy for men to read these things, but putting it to practice, and that is a keyword, is difficult for some. Because, you essentially have to practice, to get good at it, like most things, many men do not put the effort forth.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Bobby Rio, that is a cool way to start a conversation, thanks for sharing your tips. Whether it's a big or small talk, as long as the conversation starts, the purpose is met !


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Becky Puetz, glad to see you here. Thanks a lot for leaving a comment. I'd like to check out your hubs now. :)


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

benten games, :) You have gotta try to overcome the first barrier. It's ok if you fail the first times, but take it positively. Try a few times until you are good at it one day. Soon, it'll be a natural things for you to do. Practice makes perfect.


Bobby Rio 5 years ago

My favorite kind of opening line when talking to a woman is use what I call the Fast Forward opening method.. where I jump right into a conversation and skip the small talk...

Usually i'll do this by asking her opinion on something my friends and I are already talking about... works great.

Good tips in your post too :)


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Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma

Great information and ice-breakers. Thanks for the tips and advice. I enjoyed this read and picked up a few pointers.


benten games 5 years ago

I am really bad at this. I can not even talk to a girl in my class even she is not a totally stranger. hope your tips will help me. thanks.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, Susie Duzy. Yes, I agree with you. Hope you have gained a few tips from this hub. :)


SUSIE DUZY profile image

SUSIE DUZY 5 years ago from Delray Beach, Florida

Great tips. There are always some awkward situations when you don't know what to say.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Glad you enjoyed it, Rick. I enjoyed reading your hub too !


TurtleDog profile image

TurtleDog 5 years ago

Good post. Asking a question (The "A" part is GAS :-) is a great technique. It forces the other person to engage. Thanks for the post, this one has some great tips and is good fun to read.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

LOL, Francine Smith, that was a good one. Thanks for sharing.

Sure, I will be glad to consider your suggestion. :)


Francine Smith 5 years ago

Great hub. Reminds me of when this guy used a chat up line on me, whilst I was at the gym thanklessly sweating off Thanksgiving. Quite confidently and directly he asked, "have you got a sister?" I thought he was trying one of those cute 'mistaken identity' chatup lines. So I responded, "oh no, there's only one of me." He replied, "that's a pity. I only do threeways with sisters. You know any hot sisters who come to this gym?"

Ingenira, maybe your next hub should be, how to kill a conversation a leering a*hole. :-)

Feeling the love,

Francine X


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

What you said is true, Alex. Very often in life, what we need is the courage to make the first step. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.


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alexfantastico 5 years ago from Victoria, Australia

Thanks for the hub. Unfortunately no amount of good advice is useful if you're too afraid to use it.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Gorgeously. Glad to know you and see you here.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Hi Rich, he is actually my uncle, what can I do for you ?


Gorgeously profile image

Gorgeously 5 years ago from United States

Great tips! Enjoyed it. thanks...


Rich 5 years ago

This guy is slick. Are you a salesman?


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Jasmine, that was an excellent conversation starter ! Thank you so much for sharing. You made my "night". (night time here) I hope you don't mind that I add that to my list above.


Jasmine JellyBaby 5 years ago

I have no trouble talking to strangers but these tips are very helpful. I remember I once went to a fruit market and I was trying to choose the perfect apple. Then there was this guy that came by and started looking at the apples too. Then I blatantly just asked him.. "would you like a taste of my forbidden fruit?" well fast forward 8 years later, he's still eating my forbidden fruit!

Good hub, very interesting.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks so much, serena williams.


serena wiliams 5 years ago

The post is very informative. It is a pleasure reading it. I have also bookmarked you for checking out new posts.

Easter revision courses


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you, icetrance. :)


icetrance 5 years ago

Great article...nice vidz:)


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

John Orton, wow, you are positive and confident. That's a good start ! Thanks for your comment.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

John, I agree with you. We should exercise caution when speaking to a stranger. Often, people rely on their intution and situation before speaking to a total stranger.

Additional note : normally, posting an external links are not encouraged here.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Pinkchic18, yes, asking an opened question will often lead you somewhere. :) Thanks for your comment !


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks so much, Les Trois Chenes, you are a jewel !


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, Sarees.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Beth, the begining is often difficult for some people and that's ok. Accept yourself and be yourself. And look for clues that someone likes to talk to you, then, the effort is halfed.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Dovay Lee, great to see you again.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Nice to see you here, Nirav Dave. Thank you for your wonderful comment.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Neil Betterfield. That was a very useful comment. :)


John Orton 5 years ago

Nice tips. I believe you should keep yourself simple and honest. I mean there is no need to be our confidant in front of her. Just show her what you are and talk about the things she like most.

This thing take time but if you keep your attitude positive, sooner she will be yours:)


John 5 years ago

Given the times we live in I don't know if talking to a perfect stranger is wise. thanks

http://usedbooks4cash.blogspot.com/


Pinkchic18 profile image

Pinkchic18 5 years ago from Minnesota

Nice tips! These are some sure-fire conversation starters. Asking a question is one of the best ways to get someone to open up, in my opinion :)


Les Trois Chenes profile image

Les Trois Chenes 5 years ago from Videix, Limousin, South West France

I'd be flattered if you included it! My friend will be intrigued too.


sarees 5 years ago

Nice post,, thanks for shaing..


beth 5 years ago

As a shy and silent type of person, I couldn't initiate a conversation, because I don't know how to start, unless someone initiated it.

Thanks for these useful tips.


Dovay Lee profile image

Dovay Lee 5 years ago from China

I like this article and I leart much from it. Thanks very much for sharing such good topics with me!


Nirav Dave profile image

Nirav Dave 5 years ago from Rajkot

Nice and informative article...

I think you help those who are just confuse abot this topic..

Your article is going with the flow and you did nice presentation....


Neil Butterfield 5 years ago

Very nice article, I believe another strategy that works once the ice has been broken is to get the other person to speak about themselves. This can be done by asking them questions that are not yes or no questions about them.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

You are cool, DGS Choudhury. Thanks for reading ! :)


DGS Choudhury profile image

DGS Choudhury 5 years ago

Very useful to me lol!

I get the gestures from strangers lool! No need to offer chocolate haha


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, Matt.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Tyler Capp, that's cool ! I love it. Let me add that to my list. Thanks for reading and commenting.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Tyler Capp, that's cool ! I love it. Let me add that to my list. Thanks for reading and commenting.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Les Trois Chenes, thank you for your sincere and warm comment. I like the idea of using a dog to attract conversation with another person. And your best friend is so cool, I like the way she introduced herself. I hope you don't mind if I add that to my article above.


Matt 5 years ago

This is a nice article, it helps


TylerCapp profile image

TylerCapp 5 years ago from Los Angeles, California

You really did that well. I found it very interesting. I like your Korean proverb you threw in there too.

One conversation starter I heard from some movie was: "How much does a polar bear weigh?" "Not sure..." "Enough to break the ice. I'm _____"


Les Trois Chenes profile image

Les Trois Chenes 5 years ago from Videix, Limousin, South West France

Interesting. The directions one wouldn't work with me. Once given I expect the person to go. If not I'd feel tricked. My best friend came up to me, sat down opposite and said, "Hello, I feel I should know you" and proceded to introduce herself. I was impressed with that. The supermarket works well. People have asked me questions about food and vice versa - but we only wanted to know about the food! The best ever is to get a puppy. When our dog Molly, was a pup, everyone wanted to talk to us.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you, moncrieff for your suggestion, I think that's a good one !

To your question on how to act if you don't want someone's attention but you don't want to hurt their feelings, I think, I need to write another hub on that ! :)


moncrieff profile image

moncrieff 5 years ago from New York, NY

Great tips! I can provide another one for people in a supermarket: ‘I notice that you cannot decide which vodka to buy... So you like to drink? Here, I can help you...’

Now how to act if you don't want someone's attention but you don't want to hurt their feelings?


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

You have very good point, trimar7. People engage more with computers and handphone than talking face to face to another person. Starting a conversation with another person is gradually becoming a problem.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

You got my attention, rmcali, the reporter. :)


trimar7 profile image

trimar7 5 years ago from New York

hubs like this are going to become increasingly important - young people are losing the art of conversation as they are always texting or engaging via their electronic equipment - face-to-face is becoming a problem for many people - thank you for the great hub!


rmcali01 profile image

rmcali01 5 years ago from Utah

Fine article.. but why do you say in your bio that you will not bore the reader by describing how you are different than other people and then you go ahead and do exactly that?


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, izettl, glad to see you again! Yes, being a waitress is a certainly great way to train oneself up to be a good conversation starter and it comes with rewards too, which is an excellent motivator.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, happyboomernurse. I agreed with you. A friendly smile, comment or question are just fine to start a conversation.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest

Great comprehensive guide. This is all so true. The way I learned this was by being a waitress. You get real good at conversation especially when your income depends on it. Great hub!


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

I like the way you emphasized the basics. Most people respond well to a friendly smile and comment or question. Thanks for sharing these tips which should be very helpful to those who feel shy and awkward in social situations.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Glad you do, Ben ! Thanks.


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Ben Zoltak 5 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA

Love it Ingenira, fresh and fun!

Ben


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Betty ! Hope it helps.


Betty Johansen profile image

Betty Johansen 5 years ago

Thanks for some great suggestions, Ingenira. I need to print this one out and memorize it. I'm not good at starting conversations.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, Tony, glad you find it useful and funny.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 5 years ago from South Africa

Great ideas. Thanks for sharing them. I think the acronyms are useful and funny!

Love and peace

Tony.


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

lol... Claudin. Thanks for your funny comment. :)


Claudin_Dayo profile image

Claudin_Dayo 5 years ago from Southeast Asia

Now I personal know what to say when were together; I actually drop the conversation he's stated for I really don't know what to say next lol ^^

thanks for this hub =)


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Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Unleashed Victory and Carrie.


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

Thanks for these tips Ingenira. Great hub and well written.


Unleashed Victory profile image

Unleashed Victory 5 years ago

This is really good to help someone get over the awkward stage. Great information and a great hub!

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