How To Be Kind To Others Even When They Don't Deserve It

It is easy to respond to negativity with negativity... but it is not beneficial.

All of us at one time or another have come across people who just aren't very nice. Someone who isn't treating you nicely or with respect. They might be someone who you have known most or all of your life. They might be someone you have just met, such as a customer/client, a cashier, or even someone you have come across at a grocery or department store. Their behavior can stem from a situation the two of you have come across, or it could be totally unrelated to anything you have done or said.

It is easy to respond to these people in a negative way. Why should you take the time, or effort, to be nice to someone who is treating you with such poor disregard? Why not just fight fire with fire and give them what they deserve? After all, if they are treating you poorly why should you be nice to them?

Now, I'm not saying that you should be a doormat. Nobody should be taken advantage of or be mistreated. You should have more self-respect than to let somebody use you for their own benefit and gain.

Being nice to people creates a positive atmosphere and mood. It makes you feel good to lend a hand, be there for someone who is in need, and can often turn a "frown upside down". When you are nice to others it can often be contagious. It can help rid you of negative thoughts and behaviors which only leads to cause more hurt and suffering. You don't want to be sucked into their negativity. You want to fill yourself with positive outcomes and thoughts which can relieve not only you but the other person of an otherwise bad outcome to their negativity. Being nice can actually help the other person to change their attitude and become more positive.

I'm not speaking of being nice in general. I'm speaking about being nice to someone who has tried to bring us down, who may have said something or done something that would otherwise cause us to react in a negative fashion or create negative thoughts for us.

Showing compassion and being nice allows you to remove anger and hatred and be in control of your thoughts and actions. These two emotions can inhibit you from leading a positive life. Being positive and nice can help to alleviate stressful situations. Being nice actually works out in your best interest. What you put out there is what you are going to get back. It may not come out right away as a positive reaction from the other person, but eventually it will resurface.

Take into consideration that maybe this person is just having a bad day. Maybe they are used to being mistreated themselves and don't have any other response techniques to use but to lash out.These are good things to consider, especially when dealing with someone we don't know, such as a stranger.

Sometimes people in your own circle of friends and family aren't behaving in a nice manner. Does that mean you should respond like-wise, just because you know them? Of course not. In extreme circumstances, your reaction can make or break a relationship/friendship. This is something that is not only beneficial to them but also to you.

It would be easy to defend yourself by attacking (verbally) the other person. But isn't that just adding fuel to the fire? Are you honestly going to feel better by responding with a negative attack? Instead, use a positive reaction to what they are doing or saying. Take control of yourself and how you feel. This type of response may actually cool down the situation and avoid an otherwise intense altercation. You may even surprise the other person who in turn may change their attitude or view. But this cannot be accomplished by fighting back.

It is only through positive reaction that a positive change can be made.

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Comments 5 comments

suejanet profile image

suejanet 4 years ago

Thank you, I needed to read this.


Sheila Lee profile image

Sheila Lee 4 years ago from Canada Author

You are welcome. I'm glad this helped.


edu 4 years ago

so do i.


Raitu Disong profile image

Raitu Disong 3 years ago

I know it is the hardest thing to do, but I hope and believe that it will be easier for me now to be kind to even those who don't deserve it.

Thank you Sheila for sharing this:)


SK 2 years ago

Dear Sheila,

I got the gist of your article. But I am not getting the part: "Now, I'm not saying that you should be a doormat. Nobody should be taken advantage of or be mistreated. You should have more self-respect than to let somebody use you for their own benefit and gain." Could you please give a couple examples on how to be positive and nice, without being taken advantage of. Thanks in advance.

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