Gay Marriages : Acceptable or not?

How Tolerant are you of Gay and Lesbian Friends?

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Gay and Happily ever after?

LGBT issues have always existed in all cultures on the fringes of society. Today the media exposure has brought home these issues into our living rooms. While the west is still accepting and open about these relationships, in India and most of the eastern nations it is still a some what taboo topic.

A person's sexuality is governed by the laws of society here and any one who wants to break out is stifled. A wedding involves a boy and a girl. Even girls playing with their dolls know that. It does not matter that the bride and groom are under age as long as they are of the right sex. Child marriages are fairly common in the country even today, despite laws that outlaw them being in existence.

I don't know if being gay or lesbian is right or wrong. If a person is happy with another person of the same sex, they should have the choice to spend their lives together. Yet in the narrow minded society that we live in, these people are a minority. Their few numbers ensure that they will never have a say in the way society norms are formed, but does that mean that even the law makers marginalize them? 

As with any minority, they too need rules to help them survive in an unequal world. How would you react if your best friend walked up to you and said that he was Gay and wanted to marry another male friend? I know despite wanting to be broad minded, it will take me more than a while to support him.

What is better for society in  the long run? That he marries a girl and continues seeing his boy friend there by ruining three lives? Or that he marries his boy friend and they live happily ever after. I'm speaking in the male gender because in India it would be physically impossible for two females to marry. They may live together and be considered good "friends". Just imply a sexual relationship between them and see how the custodians of society turn their lives into a living hell.

In a country where Shiv Sena patrols on Valentine's Day saying no one will buy flowers and cards as it is alien to our nature, what would happen to a Lesbian relationship? I shudder to imagine what trauma they will undergo. All because we are not comfortable with their choice of sexuality. As a community we are closed to any thing that goes against the norm, and LGBT issues are a brick wall.



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Comments 32 comments

Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 7 years ago from India

You make some very valid points Cashmere!

However, I think acceptability is also largely a matter of the social strata they belong to - some of my best friends in Bombay are gay - it could be my advertising background! Where I live now - in Pune - there's a rocking lesbian group that makes its presence felt at all the jazz and music shows.But to come back to your question: will there be legalised marriages? I don't know. However, as a nation I think we are pretty uncaring about what goes on behind closed doors - so many of our politicians have been known to be gay - we really don't hassle them about it, do we? I


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Indian mentality says that as long as you don't wash your dirty linen in public you can be part of the respectable society.

Shalini, Bombay is not Bihar!

Do you think a Gay or Lesbian Couple will be able to survive in Patna if they went public with it?


dianacharles profile image

dianacharles 7 years ago from India

Like someone said...once upon a time Indian parents worried about their children wanting to live with a member of the opposite sex before the wedding ring was on the finger. Now many parents worry about their child, 'coming out' and living with the same sex. I think it will take Indian society a long time to accept homosexuality. And as Shalini so rightly pointed out...we are hypocritical...if it is happening behind closed doors, we just don't care.

Even someone as famous as Ellen De Generes said, she went through a lot of angst to be able to come out and say that she was gay.The world will take time to change. There is still too much of prejudice and bias.


sabu singh profile image

sabu singh 7 years ago

As a society, we are far from liberated and in this vast country, it is difficult to generalise. In fact in the rural areas, I am sure substantial persecution of gays takes place. They would have to remain closeted just to stay alive. Apart from Mumbai (which used to be a tolerant, accepting city), I doubt whether any other place would accept same-sex relationships

Personally, to each his own. Who am I to pass judgement on anyone else's preferences as long as they allow me to follow mine


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Diana, the way society has changed is quite a reflection on how we have evolved as a society. Yes we are hypocrites, but that does not stop us from sounding off as and when we feel like it.

Sabu, it is true that most of us are happy in isolation of such facts. As long as my immediate environment is free from trouble we are happy to keep mum and go with the flow. It takes an exceptional man or woman to get involved with NGOs that really work to make a difference.


AlexK2009 profile image

AlexK2009 7 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland

Here in the UK we are (nominally) more tolerant. But while my head accepts gays my emotions find it harder. This is why it will take time for India to accept gays


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Alex I feel that's the situation with most of us. The head wants to be logical and accept it, but the heart feels that it is unnatural.


kiran8 profile image

kiran8 7 years ago from Mangalore, India

I have seen gay couple being accepted in smaller villages in south India.It has nothing to do with being liberated in their case, just a matter of custom and tradition...But in cities, I find the educated upper middle class the worst when it comes to accepting anything that deviates from the norm :)


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Is it so Kiran? I never knew about this custom...


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Hi cashmere. I can't speak for the Indian culture, but I think there is a large group of American people who aren't so very different in their attitude towards homosexuality.


LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 7 years ago from London

I honestly don't care what other people get up to in their bedrooms, and don't expect them to care about what I do, either.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Christoph I guess its a normal reaction. The "us" and "them" always exist in some form or the other.

LondonGirl, I take much the same attitude


jamshed 7 years ago

hmmm............why cant we live and let live.....................good thoughts, good words, good deeds.............good food


qhama skepe 7 years ago

they are humans guys thats all that matters.


A mc profile image

A mc 7 years ago

there are two teams, two kinds of people on earth and two categories-there is nothing in between for even the spectators must belong to a team; you are either for light or darkness--it is that simple. light has darkness but dont need that darkness to see. darkness on the other hand need that little bit light it has to see. famous is not equal to darkness or light but famous is equal to famous. there is famous light and there is famous darkness. famous darkness is more popular but famous light is more powerful because it has full control over its darkness hence dont need it at all to see. the rule that govern famous light makes it right and the rule that govern famous darkness makes it wrong and you know why ? because it needs that little light in order to be comfortably wrong. that little light is what is called facade; nice, kind, happy, interesting, funny, talented etc. that little light is needed to fool the gullible; an idle mind. Personally i am not complaining and wont be distracted but admit, respect and accept the fact that they must represent their team in honour so in fact i congratulate darkness for being darkness and must do its work within the confines of darkness to get more darkness but as a team light, is shouldnt be asking too much if i must do what must done within the confines of light to be light. light accomodates all but unfortunately darkness dont and it is why it need that little light to survive otherwise everybody would be running away from it. food for thought --be your own judge.

same sex relationship is not light and as much as we do not have to agree, it is as simple as truth because i know so.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

A mc, it took me a while to understand the whole light and darkness thing, I'm still not sure I get it, but I believe you too are trying to say that while being gay is not normal, it can be lived with.


A mc profile image

A mc 7 years ago

i am so sorry ! i didnt mean confuse you at all cashmere but the light and darkness in reality should not be confusing at all. paying a little attention will go a long way to help. DAYTIME is light and NIGHT TIME is darkness, there are people on this earth who represent these two variations. Those who represent light are good people and those who represent darkness are bad people. Good people have bad in them but have total control over that bad. Bad people have a little good in them and flash that good for attention. When it is DAYTIME, you do not need darkness to see even though there is the darkness; that darkness in under control and it is why you dont see it BUT when it is NIGHT TIME, you need lights turned on in other to see even though the light is not there. SO NIGHT TIME which is DARAKNESS and which is BAD, NEEDS some amount of DAYTIME which is LIGHT and which is also GOOD in order to OPERATE comfrotably as a NIGHT TIME. IF at NIGHT TIME the lights are not turned on, we all will be SCARED of NIGHT TIME and would not want anything to do with it because it is fearfully overwhelming but when the lights are on we are able to accomodate the darkness. The darkness doesnt want you runnig away from it and it why it shows you that little light to bring you in. There are principles that govern these two entities which is LIGHT and DARKNESS just like every gadget has a manual of operation so for those who want to be in light homosexuality is a no no; it is against the principles of light beside the fact that they as light have been cautioned in their manual if you will, not to be equally yoked with darkness-- Yes there is darkness and darkness must do what darkness must do in order to be darkness but as much as we must not as light point fingers at the perpertuators of darkness as darkness, we must point fingers at darkness itself and identify it as being darkness--Will i call a homosexual a devil ? NO. Will i call the act of homosexuality evil ? YES. Will i talk to a homosexual ? YES. Will i be friends with homosexuals ? NO. Do i hate a homosexual ? NO. In fact i love him so much to a point where i dislike him; i dont like for his way and that is where we must all learn to draw the line if claim we are not for darkness. i have writng a book which you must read and when it is out i will send you a copy. in the mean visit my hub page and read my hub titled, incentive; position. and tell me your take on it.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

I guess that makes more sense now. Yes everyone has a bit of good and a bit of bad in them. The more you have of one would make you more in that team.

I gather that you are trying to say hate the sin and not the sinner?


A mc profile image

A mc 7 years ago

No cashmere, it is not what i said; some people have more of good in them than bad while others have more of bad in them than good so it is not about everyone has a bit of good and a bit of bad in them as you are infering. Of course hate the sin and not the sinner but you dont encourage the sinner to keep sining and if he or she wouldnt hear then you shouldnt entertain him or her otherwise you become an accomplise; you become associated with the sin which evidently makes you as equal a sinner even when you are not directly performing that act of sin. Love is a universal thing for those who yearn to be light and you must love even those who hate you but you must not like them--in essence there is love and like and there is also love and dont like for those who live in the reality of light. All have sinned and fallen short....but when you can identify sin you stay away from it by seek aid from the source of all things right--He is represented here on earth as the Holy Ghost.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

So how does love help the sinner not to sin?


countrywomen profile image

countrywomen 7 years ago from Washington, USA

In India the majority of the people in cities are progressing towards liberal outlook. And even the recent elections showed that the right wing ideologies don't bring votes. In my opinion right wing parties like Shiv sena will eventually fade away as it is they are existing in only one state in India.

India is far more resilient and will come out stronger in spite of the right wing forces trying to drag it back to the old ways. I have innate faith and optimism that my generation and the one coming after us would take us forward to a brighter and more liberal India. :D


A mc profile image

A mc 7 years ago

love does not condemn, love is patient and love teaches by example and never by force and that is enough to help the sinner not to sin if the sinner is indeed not the devil in disguise but a confused soul. Earlier in our coversation i refered to some group as spectators who must belong to a team; all those who fall under this category are confused souls who unfortunately represent the devil but in most cases dont even know it and when you administer genuine love towards these group by your ways, they find love, see love, follow love and eventually become love.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

I don't see Shiv Sena fading away. Unfortunately most states are now getting strong regional parties that the government at the center must consider. Yet India has been a melting pot, and so I guess one more genre is acceptable.

A mc how do you propose the spectators can be led away from such actions? Maybe they are experimenting with things that seem wrong and so exciting?


A mc profile image

A mc 7 years ago

cashmere where do you stand as an individual; do you know ?


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

A mc, I am totally straight. Married and have a kid, so personally I feel that is the normal way to be.

About others acting gay and related issues, I feel they have a right to choose how they live their lives. Even if I disagree with their choice.


A mc profile image

A mc 7 years ago

we all have the right to choose our desires yet we know what is good and what is bad so if you know better then you dont condemn but you say a prayer on behalf of those who are not exercising thier rights right even though i must say that it is not the answer to my question but thanks anyway.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

what exactly was your question?


countrywomen profile image

countrywomen 7 years ago from Washington, USA

Cashmere- You are right. India is a melting pot and our generation and generations after us will take our country forward to a better more liberal future. Considering straight people "normal" leads to the conclusion that homosexual is "abnormal". Here in US they simply state that homosexuality is more uncommon. And also homosexuality isn't a "choice" in most of the cases. Good hub and hopefully your hub would lead some people to understand there plight too. :D


A mc profile image

A mc 7 years ago

i meant light or darkness as in where do you stand because of the nature of our conversation but it's alright you dont have to answer that --it's just that there are straight darkness and there are straight light so A mc being straight doesnt make me light but what does is finding the need to connect with the source of all things light here on earth whom i refer to as the Holy Ghost by acknowledging Him at all time.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Countrywomen, you sound like you are an Indian living in the US trying to make sense of your adopted country. Am sure there are cultural differences that make it easier to discuss homosexuality there, unlike here where it is discussed in hush hush tones behind closed doors.

A mc, I would like to think I stand in the light, but at times I'm not sure. After all no one is completely blameless. And there are things that I have done that I am not exactly proud of.


A mc profile image

A mc 7 years ago

Admitting to that fact that you are not sure is honest and that in itself is a positive sign. Wanting to think that you stand in light is not surprising but reveals your desire for light which is a beautiful thing to want to have. Having acted in ways we are not exactly proud of is universal but it was all meant to prepare you for becoming a better light when you become light so no regrets. the question here therefore is how do i become sure that i stand in light as it is already obvious that there is that sense of remorse and the yearning for light ? The only way to be sure is to take that stand in your mind to become light and then taking action to defend that stand--and how do you do this ?

It is quite simply like God is simple; making His truth and all things true simply. The Holy Ghost who is a part of God is here on earth to help you in this lifes journey so all you have to do is to invite the Holy Ghost to come to you by just saying it and that is number one, then number two will be talking to Him about everything and anything including directions for an easy trip and you will surprised besides knowing where you stand at the result of this simple act.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

What is your opinion on Doreen Virtue and her Angel Therapy Workshops? While I have not attended the workshops I have read her book and also got the daily guidance from the angels oracle cards.

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