How Women Forgot to be Women

ONCE upon a time...

...there was a little girl who never wanted to be a woman. She was pleased with being a girl and toying with the notion of never growing up. Experiencing carefree play in a tree or catching butterflies in a patch of wild flowers- this was the best life had to offer and as far as she was concerned it only went downhill from there.

In those sacred childhood places, deep in her dreaming mind, society's eyes couldn't find her. She did, however, notice how society viewed her mom- a woman, a stay-at-home mom, which seemed to be even worse. The little girl imagined she wouldn't be happy as a grown woman. Her mom cried a lot, didn't make any money of her own, and was weak and dependant. So what could possibly be so great about being a woman?

And that's really where this story begins...

Not a feminine fairytale

Becoming a woman, but not wanting to from the very first milestone of picking out a training bra to crying over her first love lost to landing a career...the little girl growing up began approaching life as a man would. She ignored the things that made her a woman, and while she had to eventually grow up, this route was far less painful.

The irony is many women approach life like men...and increasingly so. This isn't unusual at all.

Requirements are:

  • hide your emotions
  • hide your insecurities
  • Always be game-on: play hard ball in love and work
  • it matters what car you drive
  • a stay-at-home mom is the lowest of low "professions"
  • Flowers are unnecessary
  • never let someone do something for you that you can do yourself, unless it's an order you gave or task your delegated.
  • brag about yourself and act as if every conversation is an interview of your life
  • define yourself by what you do for a living
  • never admit your weaknesses
  • never feel sorry for yourself or anybody else
  • never need anything
  • Children? What children?
  • never let them see you sweat and...never let them know when you're PMSing.
  • and...for God's sake don't ask for directions

Yep, that about covers it. The little girl who finally grew up didn't have to succumb to really being a woman. Her clothes and figure clearly stated she was a woman, but her mind, soul, and emotional being did not fall into that category. By her mid-twenties, she was career driven, accomplishment-focused, and independent to a point that when her latest boyfriend remarked about her worst trait being she was too independent, she took it as a compliment. She didn't need anyone to open a door for her or pour her wine- she took charge of her life.

And the little girl soon disappeared completely...all that was left was the determination to not be the weaker species.

over-worked and under-appreciated woman
over-worked and under-appreciated woman
evolution of woman
evolution of woman

Fear of being my mom

Women have to become this modern version of a woman to be "successful" or "useful" or "equal" and respected as a woman in this society. It is far-detached from the version I now believe what a woman is. But that's the problem, society has progressed and the model of today's woman is strikingly similar to a man if you can call that progression. Yet what little girl wants to become the mom of decades ago who worked tirelessly in the home without any respect or rights within or outside of the home.

I know many women who changed their lives around to not resemble the life their mom had. Women want more respect in their relationships, more control and equality. For equality to occur, there must be one standard of measurement and sadly women (namely feminists) have worked hard to make the standard a man's life. Women are not men no matter how hard we have tried. And we shouldn't want to be. We should be celebrated as women, respected as women, and valued for whatever we are good at.

The unfortunate thing is since women are able to do more and be more, they believe they must. So they start out on that education and career path only to overlook those nagging feelings of wanting a family and love. But being a stay-at-home mom is still looked down upon- who would want to be just a mom, right? No woman should be looked down upon for something that is her choice rather that is a career or simply (well, it's anything but simple) raising her children.

On becoming a woman...The story doesn't end here

Recently I had my second child and a nurse told me to remember this: "The woman is the center of the home". This is absolutely true even if the woman works outside the home. She really wanted me to get this advice because so many women have a baby and don't take care of themselves- we sacrifice ourselves, our careers, for our loves, our families, or whatever we've chosen to dedicate our lives to.

The little girl who never wanted to become a woman, finally (and truly) did...willingly, graciously, and happily. When I had my first baby, my daughter, I had to evaluate what it meant to be a woman. I was now responsible for a little girl of my own. I decided it is OK to feel, OK to be weak or strong- but not one all the time, it is OK to dream and revise dreams as life unfolds, it is OK to do what makes YOU feel free, it is OK to need help, and most of all it is OK to love with all your heart and open yourself up to the world.

For every woman..and the little girl never forgotten

The Modern Woman Myth

One thing I've learned about being an independent woman is independence is short-lived if you live a long life.Meaning that if you have children, they depend on you and you teach them that dependence, not by being independent yourself, but in knowing who best to rely on (and depend on). When you have children, you almost inevitably depend on a partner, friends, family or some sort of support system to help you raise those children. Women can no longer be with their family all the time since many work outside the home and try to have a "life".

Also in one's life there may come a time when disability, illness, and/or age becomes a factor and you may lose your independence- one must accept graciously the help from others, as this is a strength as well. Women have taken their independence to a new level and believe, as I once did that I needed nobody. Ever heard of 'No man is an island', well he wasn't talking about women because there was a time, and I'm sure many women can relate, that I believed i could do it all by myself- like we have something to prove. Haven't we been down this feminist road before? We shouldn't have anything to prove, not that we can do it all or do a man's job...and a woman's job. This will only make the modern woman weaker...perhaps extinct one day. Women do not know how to ask for help anymore and more is now expected of us.

Modern women are almost free to do whatever they want- they can have families without a partner/ man. They can put themselves first while families, children, careers, etc. do not define the woman but rather the woman defines her own self and world. It's a very individualized definition in our individualistic society. Does all this mean a woman is happy? I'll tell you she is exhausted. Having a "life", career, and children is exhausting.

Having a choice is also a myth. The modern woman doesn't have as much choice as we'd like to think- in order to be independent, she must earn her own income which leaves a woman without a partner (or time for a love life) and without children or having to wait until she's much older to have kids. What if a woman's choice was to live on a farm and raise children- that is nearly impossible by today's standards and exactly what feminists were trying to steer women away from. Yes, we can own property, but again, that takes money and to earn money women often give up personal dreams of having a family.

Everything comes with a price and the struggle that women are living is in choosing between career and family or other things in life. The modern woman definition is similar to superwoman and that's not reality.

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Comments 47 comments

Bob Zermop profile image

Bob Zermop 4 years ago from California, USA

Well i guess i'm not the most fitted to be the first comment on here, but whatever. One thing I have to say is that all people are individuals, and stereotyping, in any direction, never benefits anyone. I respect every individual person's choice to live their life however they want. They know better than I do what makes them happy. If that means an independent career, great. IF that means staying at home, great. If that means being the president, great. If that means packing lunch for the kids, driving them to school, driving to activities, great. All of the above deserve respect. Please do not speak for all women like you have the right to.

BereniceTeh90 profile image

BereniceTeh90 4 years ago

I totally understand where you are getting from! It seems that many modern feminists don't seem to realize that they aren't actually destroying the patriarchy, but actually contributing to it in the most insidious way possible; by devaluing femininity as something "weak", while treating masculinity as something to be "achieved and aspired for". Thus they reinforce the notion that if you want to be successful in a man's world, you have to be "strong, ruthless, cold and emotionless", if you want to stay at the bottom, go ahead and be "feminine (e.g. well-groomed,curvy, polite,and well-mannered). Of course,I think that everybody should be free to wear whatever they please, as long as what they wear reflects their true identity and what they stand for. But many feminists take that to the extreme by refusing to have ANYTHING to do with femininity (no skirts,no makeup, no fitted blouses, no fitted T-shirts, masculine haircuts),just as many crossdressers refuse to have ANYTHING to do with masculinity. I mean from a biological perspective, I love curves, and (pardon my language) breasts, and legs, and all other feminine visual cues that come with a woman and I don't think it's good to hide them in shame (as is typical with many modern feminists), in order gain a place within the patriarchy. Women should be valued and respected as women, not as women who are trying to be like men (although I think the androgynous look if done right, e.g. Halle Berry, Danii Minogue, Evan Rachel Wood, female gymnasts)can look absolutely stunning, like a beautiful contrast between 2 ends of humanity. But the thing is, these women still maintain their femininity while expanding their range of gender expression, which i like. I know it's not politically correct to say that I like femininity, but the fact is that Nature does not understand the meaning of political correctness. But yea i totally get your point and am beginning to understand your point of view on gender =)

BereniceTeh90 profile image

BereniceTeh90 4 years ago

But I should also say that cross-dressers should realize that masculinity is equally valuable and precious as femininity and that the male body is in no way aesthetically inferior to the female body. :)

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

berenice~ yes totally agree if I can quote you: "by devaluing femininity as something "weak", while treating masculinity as something to be "achieved and aspired for"." well said.

I was one of those women who dressed very much like a woman on the outside but did not feel like I was a woman or being true to myself because I was acting more like a man to get somewhere in my career. Bottom line: THe inside should match the outside and that goes for cross-dressers or whoever. And I've also been on the opposite end when I was a kid and desperately hid my budding curves and breasts.

I think we agree on the gender thing more than either of us originally thought. Just as my other hub about men dressing in feminine styles- if that's the way they feel then fine, but not as just a trend to look like everyone else.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Bob~ never thought I'd see a Bob in this comment section. lol. Yes I agree and my point is exactly that; women sought to have choices and get away from the stereotypical stay-at-home wife and mother role, but it's too bad that's looked down upon still... in this progressive society. I know because I have been both career woman and currently stay-at-home mom. There is a great divide between the two.

I speak for all women in that we should be respected for our individual choices... but we are not.

You said "Please do not speak for all women like you have the right to." Not really sure what you meant by that but I have a right to speak about all women- I wrote my hub about personal experience and my feelings on so-called feminism progress in our society. All women have to make choices- luckily they are given the rights to do so but sometimes the choice is between work and family. Even if she has both, she does both poorly or is better at one than the other.

You say it's great if a woman wants to be whatever but that's not reality and I speak about reality. THanks for stopping by.

Bob Zermop profile image

Bob Zermop 4 years ago from California, USA

Agreed, nicely said, Berenice. Everyone has the right to be whoever they are; femininity is not worth less than masculinity, nor vice versa.

Bob Zermop profile image

Bob Zermop 4 years ago from California, USA

sorry for being unclear, izetti, I only meant to say that the choice is up to the individual, and at least I personally respect people who choose a career and people who choose to stay home and take good care of the kids equally. I hope someday soon everyone can be respected for being themselves, like you said "We should be respected for our indvl choices...but we are not.". Congratulations on this hub; every indvl deserves respect for their lives. God bless you and your family!

UtahMom 4 years ago

Hi. I just discovered your column tonight & have already read several posts. I am a career-bitch turned SAHM. I feel like I have to justify putting my career on hold for a family almost everyday. I wish more women spoke out in defense of true feminism (i.e. Respecting ALL choices - including raising a family). You have just gained a new fan! Reading your posts is like reading my own thoughts. Thank you.

Jeanine 4 years ago

Very nice read Izettl... hope you are doing well with the kids... and hope you getting some sleep... little ones are a handful I know...I certainly enjoyed the perspective... I have an SO that is truly an amazing woman... she not only raised our boys but now has gone on to a successful career in our senior years... when we were younger I had always said why don't you do this or that.. and she always said... "you can have it all but not all at once"... after some years now... I must say she was and is much more the mature thinker between us... we are together for forty two years and I still sigh when she walks by... so feminine, so much the woman... so much my anchor... so much my love... always reminding me of what a total woman might really look like....

graceomalley profile image

graceomalley 4 years ago

I feel modern women are in a bind - guilt is there no matter what. Women on the job feel it (your kids would all have 4.0 grade averages and perfect teeth if you stayed home!) women at home feel it (you're wasting your education! Your're a drain on resources!) divorced women feel it (Why couldn't you get marriage right!) married women feel it (why don't you have your own life! why do you pick up after him!)

I think you made excellent points about picking up the male model rather than following a model that works for a woman. As someone said, the answer to a bunch of pushy aggressive men is not a bunch of pushy aggressive women.

Also excellent point about interdependence rather than independence. Humans, like all primates, are group creatures. We have to have a group to live. It's just a fact. For some reason, people have shifted from feeling pride in what they contribute to the group, to feeling pride that they don't need the group.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

THanks Bob- wasn't clear on that, but I agree with you and it goes along with my point about women striving to be more like men and that's not being true to themselves- maybe it is for some but that mold does not fit all. I believed it did for me and once I had a child I knew the career first was not for me. And God bless you and yours too- thanks for being the brave first commenter :) I had a feeling I'd appreciate any man to comment on this hub.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Utah mom~ thanks for your encouraging comment. Sounds like we've been on the same path. I even feel a divide between myself now and my career oriented mom friends- it's strange the stigma is still there for SAHM.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Jeanine~ glad I could conjure up those wonderful feelnigs about your love! All the things you've said, I think a lot of women could learn from her. And I love that "you can have it all but not all at once". So true.

I was working 50+ hours a week and so glad to now be doing what I love- being a mom and writing. When I started working at a young age, I stopped writing and it wasn't until becoming a mom that I found my true self- writing and caring for my little ones.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Grace~ the first paragraph in your comment is right on the money- very true. Doing some research back when I was a working mom, I was shocked to discover how many companies are not supportive of moms. The company I worked for expected me to be the exact same after having my baby. very sad. Honestly the day i knew I had to change was when I took my baby girl to daycare knowing she was sick because I didn't want to get in trouble at work (and I worked in Human Resources- you'd think they'd be understanding). I got that call from the daycare inevitably that she was sick and I felt sick for doing that.

THanks for your insighftul and well stated comment.

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

I also agree with Grace's fist line. I think there is nothing wrong with staying home and taking care of your children if that is possible and what you choose. Most women must work however, and it is a balancing act with day care or school, trying to perform well at work, then meeting the needs of your children at home. I raised 3 sons alone for most of their lives and while it wasn't easy, they turned out fine. I thought I had to be all things to all people at that time and who can live up to that standard? Frustration, yes, but I did what I had to do and I feel good about that. Voted up and this is a very thought provoking hub.

Jeanine 4 years ago

The guilt is the gift from our earthly mother...Eve... gave us guilt... just as Adam gave men the fear of being lonely... I've never met a man that wasn't afraid of being alone... nor a woman who was not guilty.... I think you are right Pamela... just take the next step and it turns out... stay in motion and love your children... they are the greatest thing that's every happened to me... I have three boys also... and they have turned out in spite of my weak and less than perfect behavior during their young lives...

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thanks Pamela~ I can only hope my kids turn out... been thinking about that lately. Even though I stay at home, I work (very)part-time from home and it seems it's still hard to turn the kids away and do work or not be as good at my work because of the kids...frustrating. I'm not sure if this is what feminists were trying to accomplish...putting more on our plate and of course it's nice to have choices, but many of us women have to do it all.

I am glad you did well with your sons and that is an inspiration. THanks for sharing.

MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean

Thanks for capturing many of the ideological struggles of the modern woman. In the end, we all want to fulfill the purpose for which we were born; and when we begin to focus on purpose, gender ceases to be our only focus. We are capable of shouldering our responsibilities on our female shoulders.

Robwrite profile image

Robwrite 4 years ago from Bay Ridge Brooklyn NY

Hi Izetti; You make many good points here. Modern women seem to feel that being female means being second class and that only by becoming males can they find equality or respect. It's a shame that a whole generation has chosen to surrender their gender identiy in favor of emulating someone who they apparently think is getting it right.(It's strange that many women still criticize men while trying hard to copy them.)

Hollywood has perpetuated this as well. Movies are filled with women who prove their value by physically outfighting and outshooting the men. Apparently, woman can have no value if they don't beat the men at their own macho games.

Very insightful hub,


Knowledge-Broker profile image

Knowledge-Broker 4 years ago

I appreciate your insightful perspective. Being a modern day woman is clearly a challenge. Roles have definitely changed over time. I hope women don't forget how to be the wonderful creatures they are. It must be tough to deal with the complexities of our time in history. I have faith that women will never truly forget the kind of women they want to be. There is a lot of variety in life as well. Over time, I read that women's voices have even gotten deeper for a variety of reasons concerning career competition and development. I read that the deeper voice in women can get them more respect and people recognize their authority more. Finally, I would like to add that I think women are amazing.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

MsDora~ thanks for the supportive comment. Very insightful too.

Robwrite~ so true. especially what you said..."women still criticize men while trying hard to copy them."

I believe women and men each have inherent qualities and values within their gender...and of course people in general do individually. We both equally bring something to the table and that's my point about women trying to copy what makes a man valuable and overlooking her strengths within her gender. Many women still see their value as a woman being her appearance and that is also a (some) man's view of a woman's value. And yes yo uthe movie guy knows this to be true in the movies and hollywood.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

knowledge broker~ I see the constant struggle of both my friends who work outside home and those that stay at home...and I'm somewhere in the middle I am stay at home full time to 2 kids but also work freelancing from home- it is a struggle.

I am not the woman to say women are better than men, but rather each has unique qualities to bring to the table but soon it seems we'll have a world of women who are distinctly like men- that's only bad because women are great at being women too but many have forgotten. I know first-hand that being a mom and taking care of the house that neither the kids or the house say thank you very often. But Thank you for your support.

barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Very well done... I can completely relate. When I was younger I was very driven... to the point where I felt I didn't want to be a weaker species... but I wanted to act still like a man. I got older and I was still like this ... in fact, it wasn't until recently, when I was watching my children grow up without even noticing, that I took a hold of the brake and stopped. My husband allowed me to be a stay at home mom. And it is hard work. Sometimes I wish I could go back to working just to have a break! Love this! Voted up and shared.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

barbergirl~ thanks for stopping by to read. You got it right about staying at home being harder- it sure is and why did we think women were the weaker species...probably because they were exhausted from staying at home with kids. lol. THanks for vote up!

Winsome profile image

Winsome 4 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Hey Izzy, I was enjoying calling you Izzy and now you go on record as being a Laura. Oh well, you are a self-realized woman now and you can go by whatever makes you happy.

Anyway, Izzy, I agree with you on just about every point--even your description of men some women want to emulate. That said I want to go on record with my opinion--and Bob I don't speak for every man, but I do echo every man when I say be as feminine as you can. We adore feminine women, sexy women, beautiful women and yes you can compete and even beat us in poker if you want, but don't stop making my heart beat faster when I look at you. There's a reason God called Eve that, it was because when Adam saw her he said "Whoa--man!"

I personally love the way you sway, talk, bat your eyes and all that with a child in the crook of your arm. If I could coordinate it, I would get all the guys of the world to stand in unison and give you the standing ovation you deserve. Keep it up Izzy/Laura, I applaud you. Take a look at one of my favorite women in the world, feminists could learn something from this mom:

I read four of your articles until I found one I felt I could comment enthusiastically. I am a big fan, honest, I've just been side tracked. I'll try to follow more faithfully in the future. =:)

Sara-NtheMiddle profile image

Sara-NtheMiddle 4 years ago from United States

HI Izettl, Another great hub, well written and thought through. I had a three page comment about this subject that I was almost finished typing and bumped a wrong key and lost it all. Love your Hubs, Sara

Carlon Michelle profile image

Carlon Michelle 4 years ago from USA

Very well written point of view. Smile!

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

sara~ somehow your comment didn't come up in my comment section adn I'm first seeing it here. It is hard for me to get on the other hub (my father) so I have neglected comments there.

Yes I know how it is to accidentally press that button- ugh so frustrating, but would have loved to see it. I am writing a hub on trans and the family. I will post a link to it on here so you can read it. great to hear from you- take care.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thanks Carlon Michelle!

CriticalMessage profile image

CriticalMessage 4 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

A great read with great understanding made this a great write... My mind thanks you for sharing this. up^ up^ up^

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Criticalmessage~ Thanks so much for the favorable vote! Glad you enjoyed.

Adrienne 4 years ago

Hello, I have followed some of your topics and liked them and I agreed with some of the points you made. Women and men are different and their uniqueness and difference should be valued rather than women trying to copy men. However, they are few things that I took issue with. About women working and being independent she can't partner now time for family. I don't know what are you trying to say, are suggesting for a woman to find a husband or have a family she shouldn't work or be financially independent at all? Or that she can' be a good wife and mother if she has job outside the home? I know from experience this isn't true. I was raised in home where both parents worked and shared in the household duties. In fact there were times in my childhood where either my mother or father would be home when I arrived from school or helped me prepare for school in the morning when the other was already at worked. We didn't hold on too much on gender roles regarding work, housework and child care duties. Plus the women in my family grandmothers, aunts also worked while raising kids some as single parents. Today I don't believe in complete independence either when it comes to relationships or marriage but mutual interdependence. I'm bit old fashioned and some ways and wished more women behaved like ladies and men like gentlemen not the total 1950s version but more modern version for today. I except no matter who strong and independent women claim, most of us value a strong man we can be vulnerable around and sometimes rely on his strength and protection when needed. When comes to family, i agree it's more ideal when one parent stays home or works less hours while the children are small and women due to our nature are commonly more suited to that(not always). However I don't think men should be excluded in the childcare since it's both parents responsibility to raise the children not just for him to earn the money. In some homes the roles are reversed where the women are the breadwinners and the man is the primary caregiver to the children, this isn't wrong it's just commonly more ideal the other way around because if how we are wired. I'm trying say is it is possible for a woman to balance career and family if she acts wisely and with more opportunities family-friendly companies that offer part time work job sharing etc and working from home it's more possible than ever. However still like some what you said.

mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

I think this is a wonderful, thought provoking Hub. I have always enjoyed being a woman even though I have worked outside the home. I always demanded the respect I was due, and never let my male co-workers forget that i was a lady! I still enjoy being a lady. I step back and let men open doors for me, pull out chairs, etc.

I voted this Hub UP, and I'd like to share.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Mary615~ I actually admire you for remaining a lady and being in the work force. I found the two to be conflicting. More independance and assertiveness seemed to be expected of me when I was working full time outside the home. I found the two to contradict each other. You seem to be quite a woman...I respect that. Thanks for voting and sharing. I'm glad you read the hub.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Adrienne~ Thank you for following my topics. I'm definitely not trying to say men and women can't share roles. I'm just saying that it is too bad that one has to suffer at some time and that many women no longer have a choice to work or not- many have to. So for your experience...I would say that's rare. I don't know one working mom who doesn't have guilt or wish she could spend more time with her kids. I don't know many family friendly work places- currently about 200,000 in the U.S. Not many considering how many companies there are out there total. Also they are usually big companies and hard to get into. One of my points is that society doesn't make it easy for women to do both in most cases. My husband constantly gets picked on because i stay at home and work from home part time and he gets picked on for doing a lot of stuff around the house and with the kids. I can't believe our society still believes since I am at home that my husband shouldn't have to do anything that is "woman's work". As much as we say we've progressed as a society we sure haven't progressed. The gender roles are still there. i was fired from my job because they said I had to choose between work and family. That happened in 2008, not 1950.

i completely agree with "how we're wired". I think that is true. I think wome nare trying to uphold a different standard often because they feel they need to prove themselves at work or as independent in society. I think it's ok for a man to be a man and not lose his manliness because he helps with the kids and a woman to not lose her womanliness because she works. I happen to hink it is highly more impossible to find a family-friendly work place when many people just want a job and don't get to choose to work for their ideal place. Unfortunately women get stuck as waitresses because it fits their schedule with their kids. Not much of a choice out there.

Jeanine 4 years ago

I think these times are a changin... men are more and more out of the work place because of the economy and also employers know that can get women at a better price, so for the first time in history, men are at a disadvantage in some of the work places... I do hope women get a chance to turn the tables on the inequality of pay during these years... "the empty work place, where have all the men gone"... is becoming a reality for men and they are more fragile in their feelings, and their confidence than a lot of us believed... these are strange times for men... and women having gone through some of the hurt and pain of being rejected in the work place, years ago, are ahead now in dealing with the mind games that go along with these types of employment disadvantages... without truly meaning to be... woman is moving ahead, so I think you are right in that women have forgotten how to be the women they were, but we are becoming ever more present of the other options, such as staying home, yet still running the families and our businesses from home. A good example is the girl who did spanx here in Atlanta... there's a new world being created and I love that women are able to discuss staying at home again... it won't be long before the work force begins to favor women because of our abilities, then the work place will adjust to what we want instead of the good ol boy model... and hey a good man is a wonderful thing have... he is just not going to be the man our mothers had or needed...these times they are a changin... very good read...

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

J~ not only are wome na better price but now there are foreigners/immigrants who work for less as well and labor type jobs (that men are typically good at) are shipped overseas more often than not. However, in the past we've seen that women typically live longer than men, but mark my words that will change- for one...women stres-related get illnesses and disease more than men. Women have always been able to pull it off with a smile and trying to be and do everythign with a smile will hurt us in the end.

My next hub is about guys' place in society now and the younger generation of men to come.

kj force profile image

kj force 4 years ago from Florida

izettl..In all my time of involvement with HP, I have yet to see such a response to a hub. Your research/knowledge of this matter and your approach was outstanding...

I was one of the career, be tops at your game, toe to toe with the world of " man",buck the system 24-7.. wife/mother..I have lived as a " weed" ( my methaphor for survivor)all my life..questioning EVERYTHING..although I held my own always..never asking for help from anyone..that would be a sign of weakness..duh..which was stupid I know,but I to lived by the words" never let them see you sweat..and never let them hear you cry !" I am now retired from the world of Medicine with NO regrets.. I still do Medical research and write/publish books on reflections of my years living outside the box in the garden of life...Love your " cutzpah"..congrats on the new baby..and HAVE A GREAT WEEK-END...voted up and AWESOME...Whahoooo...!!!!!

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

kj force~ wow what a great comment. Thank you for sharing your experience too. I've been on both sides of the fence and there is good and bad to both. It's so easy to get sucked in the career track. But all women need a voice and well, an excuse to be with their kids more or less :))

Thank you and hope you have a great weekend too. Happy retirement, by the way! And thanks for the votes.

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lrc7815 4 years ago from Central Virginia

I am so happy t find someone writing on strong women doing traditional things. Kudos to you. Wonderful work!

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

lrc7815~ I am so happy that someone "gets" this topic and completely understood what I was trying to convey here. Thank you for that!

lrc7815 profile image

lrc7815 4 years ago from Central Virginia

Oh, I get it izettl and it kills me that the average woman of today is so defensive that she can't even apply rationality to the concept. Truthfully, I think many of the problems in society today are the result of women (and men too) losing respect for their differences (given them by their Creator) and needing to compete with each other. It's a hub in the making but I'm not quite ready to write it. Again - great job on a tough subject.

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

lrc7815~ to be a woman is not so much a weakness that we have to be like men to be considered strong. I've been reading your stuff...enjoy it and can't wait to find other great hubs by you. Glad we ran into each other in the hubworld.

lrc7815 profile image

lrc7815 4 years ago from Central Virginia

Thank you izettl. I'm happy we met too and look forward to a healthy exchange of ideas and support.

Vacation Trip profile image

Vacation Trip 4 years ago from India

Nice hub, i like it. Enjoyed going through the above interesting read. Voted up

izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thanks VT

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mothersofnations 2 years ago

Interesting article. I look forward to reading more...

My mother is a very compassionate and she taught us to love. She taught us to know that we do come from a family and will one day have families of our own that we must be the "everything" for. She taught us it's not ok to push anyone over but rather to see everyone as you would want the world to see you: as a person. However, she was also a little softer than some of us wanted to be.

My father was tough but loved others dearly. He taught us to be ourselves, be independent, be strong and be women, have a career, but also remember to have love and compassion for everyone in our lives and treat people as equals.

Thank God for both of my parents because they brought us a careful balance, each in their own way.

Our value is not in what career we choose or how large our homes or bank accounts are. But rather our value comes from our ability to love and respect others as equals and what kind of affect we have in the lives of others around us. Will you have wished you loved more? Or will you be happy to stand alone for the safety-net of total independence?

I see the evidence of the balance within my children and I'm grateful for that. And I thank God for being the guide in my life who ultimately taught and teaches me in everything I think, say and do.

God bless you...

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