How a Failing Marriage can lead Someone to Hatred
Based on information I gathered from an acquaintance I can easily express the tormented lifestyle one man led due to the demise of his marriage. The agony of the betrayal had led him into a state that at present he still can’t fathom he experienced it, but was willing to share it in hopes of assisting the next poor soul that reaches this frantic and bewildering state of mind.
This man tried everything he could to maintain his marriage. He was a devoted and supportive husband, father and friend. Had a wonderful job as a manager for a certain company that may remain nameless, made sure to spend quality time with his family when he was off from work, and basically never had a clue his wife would soon hit him with the request for a divorce.
The events leading after that not only left him traumatized, but shattered and extremely devastated. His whole life was turned upside down and he still couldn’t comprehend why. He then began to blame God for allowing his marriage to fall apart, and not getting the chance to mend it. The entire ordeal made him hate the opposite sex in such a way that he no longer respected, cared or even showed an ounce of compassion when he suddenly began to use his place of business as a romp house for sex.
You see he was the only man in a department with twenty five women. Some of these women came on to him on a daily basis, even before his marriage ended, so of course this now made them all fair game. In a revengeful and calculated way he began to take his frustrations out on women. In his mind women were scum and so he decided to treat them as such. It wasn’t long before he began to take advantage of these women within the confines of the office.
Every woman who came on to him at work from then on was taken advantage of. He developed a dominant personality, felt them up in the hallways and even coached them to do the same with him. He would have them meet him in the bathroom for sex as well as other various rooms, made them perform oral sex on him in conference rooms, and once he moved into his own apartment a few blocks away from work; he had them meet him there during lunch.
He admitted to being very aggressive with them, but withheld from being physically abusive. As he dove deeper and deeper into the dark side, he began to use paddles, ropes, toys and more to further alienate them. The funny thing is most of them enjoyed it, so then he began to have less respect for them, and that only reinforced his opinion that women truly weren’t worth much.
Eventually, he started hitting the night life. Clubs became a true favorite. Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays became his prowl nights and soon he began to bring home a different woman every night and sometimes even two. He couldn’t care less as long as he was releasing the tension and taking his frustrations out on them. At that point he didn’t care about anything. It was like a crack head wanting that next fix, and not caring where it came from.
Eventually a few months of the same went by before he suddenly began to feel like crap, which only seemed fair because that’s exactly how he made every one of those women feel. Through therapy and church he finally came to grips with what he had done, and realized what happened to his marriage was not his fault at all. God never truly left him as he had originally conceived, but was there all along. He was just waiting for him to realize that and come back to him before he helped him with the worst aspect of his life, the failure of his marriage. What was truly wrong was the way he reacted to it. He soon after left the job that made it so easy to be tempted, moved out of the apartment he had, and moved on with the Lord by his side.
With his help he was able to recondition his thoughts and feelings. Soon after that his wife attempted to get him back, and thankfully he refused. He forgave her of course, but he could never forget the turmoil and emotional roller coaster that made him run a mock and change his way of thinking so drastically. Through his beliefs he manages his feelings a lot better, and continues to ask for forgiveness for how he treated the women he worked with or brought home from the club. It took several years but he is back to his old self again and very proud of himself for steering clear of the people and places that weren’t good for him. For in the Bible there are many talks about fleeing from sinful things that may tempt us.
Graciously he shared this with me, because I made the error of taking him on a night out with friends. What was to be a dinner and live music, soon turned to dinner and an after work spot that had a DJ. I had no clue this acquaintance had past hurts that prevented him from socializing in certain places, but soon after we entered the place it was evident he wasn’t too comfortable. A minute after that he walked out, without so much of a good-bye, and then it took him a little over a week to get over the anger and finally break it down to me.
Of course, I was shocked, but soon got over it because I know he is not that person anymore. For the women he abused I feel saddened, but it was a consensual situation and he never went as far as raping or physically abusing them. Not condoning what he did, but just forgiving him for his past discretions as our good Lord has.
Copyright © ~ Susan B. Anna
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