How to Ask Someone on a Date

Many of us get scared at the thought of asking someone on a date. The thought of getting rejected is often too much for us to handle. Unfortunately, this fear holds us back from experiencing life to its fullest.

If you are like most people, you commute to work or school several days a week. During the trip, there is always a chance of getting in a car accident and getting killed or seriously injured. Does that risk stop you? Of course not! Yet, most men and women fear asking someone out on a date, which involves much less risk.

Why are you fearful of asking someone out? It is probably because you lack experience. The best way to conquer your fear is to face it, and take action anyway. The first couple of times will be terrifying, but as you put this into practice dozens of times, asking someone out will be easy.

If you lack the courage to ask someone out right now, take baby steps to help overcome your fear. Say hello to a stranger, or just strike up a conversation with a neighbor you haven't met yet.

Where do you find a prospective mate? The possibilities are endless. Most of us spend a major portion of our time at work, so strike up a conversation with a cute stranger in the break room! Guys, if you are looking for an available female, join a dance class, a cooking class, or a yoga class where females are likely to outnumber males. If you are a female looking for a guy, take a computer class or a class on auto repair, and there will be no shortage of males. If you happen to like the same sex, read my previous advice in this paragraph, and pretend it's opposite day!

Get to know the person before asking them out. When you do "ask them out", don't say "Will you go out with me?" Just see if they want to hang out with you. Plan something much more interesting than "a dinner and a movie". If you need ideas, take them miniature golfing, shoot some pool, or race some go karts.

Another reason why men and women fear asking someone out is because of the awkwardness of that first date. Think of dating as simply getting to know someone. This will ease the pressure that you feel tremendously. If the night ends in romance, excellent! If it doesn't, either the time has not come yet, or you were simply weren't right for each other.

So if you're single, take a risk and start meeting people! You may meet a wonderful man or woman that is just right for you! Unfortunately, you may also go out with some weirdos first. That is all right though, because you'll then have some interesting stories!

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Comments 4 comments

pgrundy 7 years ago

Great topic. I think dating is scary so people put it off, but it's like the lottery--you can't win if you don't play! I met the love of my life at one of those online dating services. We've been together four years now and it's just flown by, but first I had a lot of awkward not-so-great dates. The thing is, I wouldn't have found him if I wasn't willing to meet people.


Sara Algoe profile image

Sara Algoe 7 years ago from Phoenix, Ariz

Nicely Explained

Good tips !!


Sarah Guy profile image

Sarah Guy 7 years ago from San Antonio, TX

Good tips!

In college, one of my best friends was super shy about meeting guys. She was beautiful, intelligent, and outgoing, but she just couldn't take the first step to initiate that contact, and she was so intimidated that she'd send 'not interested' signals without knowing it. I kept telling her how easy it was to strike up conversations with guys and get to know them in the college social scene. I gave her a little lesson. She was still scared. So, one night when we were out at the delis (code for 'bars' where I went to school) I 'accidentally-on-purpose' gave her a little push into a guy she thought was cute. It broke the ice and she ended up going to a party with him later that night and had a few dates after- though he ended up not being a keeper. : )


vitaeb profile image

vitaeb 7 years ago from Shenandoah Valley, Virginia

I met my wife when she was hitch-hiking. That was 38 years ago. We never had a date. She just had her thumb out, I stopped, opened the door, and off we went...and it's been the best riide of my life:)

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