5 Tips to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

Finding Mr. Right

Most women dream of the day they will attract the man of their dreams. Many describe a man who is "tall, dark, handsome, (preferably) rich, sensitive, loves kids, has an advanced degree and loves his mom." I've described this same man, listened to my friends describe men of similar ilk and pondered, plotted and schemed about how to meet this mystery man. Here, after watching (and experiencing) numerous disappointments on the dating scene, are my five top tips for attracting the man of your dreams:

1. Be Indifferent

Men hate desperate women. The only thing they hate more than desperate women are those who are only attracted to them because they embody the above-mentioned traits. Men find women attractive who are not only unimpressed with their wealth and good looks, but treat them as if they are just some average Joe. Men love a challenge. Don't you dare let them tell you anything different. Sure, let them have your number and even be nice to them, but just because they call doesn't mean you have to always be available. Don't play hard to get, be hard to get.

2. Be Fabulous

When you finally allow your mystery man the pleasure of your company, be fabulous. Be well-dressed, polite, polished, erudite and sophisticated. You don't need anyone to save you, for heaven's sake, you need someone to appreciate all that you are. Do you think a man is more likely to appreciate you if you are dressed in yesterday's sweats or if you are dressed in today's fabulously attractive evening gown, the perfect pair of jeans or the best accessories you can afford? You don't have to make a lot of money, but you should look like you are well worth every penny you spent.

3. Be Mysterious

Don't tell him every little thing about you on the first date or on the first two to three dates. As a matter of fact, you never need to tell him everything. Believe me, he is not interested in why or how your ex-boyfriend mistreated you, how much you hate your co-worker or the digestive problems of your precious Feefee. He is interested in you. In the adventure of knowing you. In the excitement of uncovering you (figuratively of course) all for himself. You can and should confide in him as time goes by, but for heaven's sake, let some time go by before you start revealing your deepest secrets.

4. Be Open

Having said the previous about being mysterious, you still want to be as open and honest about who you are and what you stand for. A man usually wants to know you have an opinion (though he's not always interested in you sharing it with him). Most men have a lot of respect for women who know their own minds and I'm sure you know yours. Know when to speak and when to let his remarks roll right over you. Everything he says does not merit a lengthy response when a simple yes or no will do. You should never, however, lie to your dream guy or mislead him about some significant event in your life. For example, if he asks you if you have ever been married, it's okay to say yes, but it's not okay to immediately give him the details of your last three failed unions. He'll find that out soon enough if he sticks around long enough to get to know you.

5. Be Yourself

It's important as you get to know this man that you are not a carbon-copy of Paris Hilton, Angelina Jolie or Michelle Pfieffer. You are you - wonderful, unique, incredible you. And if that's not good enough for him, then he is not good enough for you. Believe me, you don't want to start the relationship being someone else, because then you'll have to live up to it at a later time. By being yourself and fully unique, you'll present him with the opportunity to fully appreciate you for the person you truly are. You are worth it.

Just make sure your mystery man shares your opinion.

Good luck!

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Comments 13 comments

Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Very good advice, Schanele. I'm sure it will help a lot of women. Thx for sharing.


Bhealthy Bgood 8 years ago from AUSTRALIA

Hi Schanele thank you for your comment, my younger man is a script writer, music expert and big movie buff. He has 5 hubs.


schanele profile image

schanele 8 years ago from United States Author

What's his hubname? I'm trying to read as many good writers as I can since I just joined hubpages.


random guy 7 years ago

As a guy, I have to say that playing/being hard to get is a great way to get a man to lose interest. He's only going to chase if you're valuable, which is not going to happen if he detects games early on and considers you untrustworthy.

It's true, there *are* guys actually enjoy playing games. They're called players and they dump you after they get you so that they can play with someone else.

There are also guys who find women valuable enough to chase by looks and surface personality alone. Unfortunately, the men that were these dumb-ox cowboys fifty years ago are now mid-level management.

I think a better piece of advice would be to consider what it is you bring to the dating table and what it is you hope to gain from men. If you ask $500,000 for a 3-series BMW, you can "be yourself" all you want but you won't get any buyers.


w.i.t. 7 years ago

i agree with random guy. men and women who are authentic will find you attractive by the chemistry that they feel for each other. it is natural and effortless. games are the foundation for mistrust. (who needs this kind of work)


w.i.t. 7 years ago

i agree with random guy. men and women who are authentic will find you attractive by the chemistry that they feel for each other. it is natural and effortless. games are the foundation for mistrust. (who needs this kind of work)


Awesome 7 years ago

I also don't believe in this thing of playing hard to get, I think it depends to individuals character.


illy 6 years ago

actually playin hard to get can be an assume way to attract sumone you like and to show him ur betta dan jus a quick approach also to gain respect from the guy because it shows him your not quick to give up ur number o quick to have a conversation dere for if hes really interested in you he'll go chase afta you..it works on me all da time neva fails for sum reason most man like when we play hard to get


illy 6 years ago

sorry about that meant to write awesome not assume was typin kinda fast


ItsThatSimple profile image

ItsThatSimple 5 years ago from Florida

Being open is key. I appreciate you pointing this out as a tip. Secrets rarely do us good, and an open nature is comforting to a partner. It encourages trust and helps us to relax in front of that person.


the right guy 4 years ago

thing that should never get in is the fakeness factor.. coz the dark and tough guy can really make u pay for all the time he listed to your stupid stories,and beleive me,he can;)


Sanya 4 years ago

there are some guys who are naturally shy i don't know if making things for them by playing hard to get would actually work.


devesh shukla 16 months ago

My comments is positive things of scsege full life man and woman

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