ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Be An Ally to Bisexual / Pansexual People

Updated on August 19, 2015
bisexual / pansexual
bisexual / pansexual | Source

1. Learn what being bi/pansexual actually means.

This is the first place to start, and also the easiest. The concept of being bi/pansexual is actually really simple, but people often get confused. When I came out to my Dad, for example, he thought being bi meant I had to date a girl AND a boy at the same time (what the hell, Dad?!). The first step to being supportive of non-binary folks (or any marginalized group) is to educate yourself and the people around you.

2. Learn the difference between sexual and romantic orientation. (YES, they ARE different!).

This sums it up.
This sums it up. | Source

Essentially, romantic orientation is who you have mushy-gushy, want-to-date-and-hold-their-hand-and-squeeze-them-and-kiss-them feelings for. It can also include who you are sexually attracted to, but it can also have nothing to do with sex whatsoever.

For example, asexual people do not experience sexual attraction at all/rarely, but can still experience romantic attraction and pursue romantic relationships.

Sexual orientation is who you have lustful, hot-under-the-collar-wanna-rip-my-clothes-off-and-pounce-them feelings for. This may also influence who you have romantic feelings for, but not necessarily.

For example, I am sexually attracted to people of all genders (bi/pansexual), but I am only romantically attracted to women and non-binary people (bi/polysexual - I will not date men).

The side I pick is the "never gonna pick a side" side.
The side I pick is the "never gonna pick a side" side. | Source

3. Don't ask me if I've "picked a side."

The whole point of being pansexual is that I am fluid and non-binary in my sexual and romantic tastes. I'm never going to "pick a side" because that is contrary to who I am, how I feel, and who I love.

(She's so not straight, c'mon).
(She's so not straight, c'mon). | Source

4. Don't call bi/pan people straight.

A bi/pan person is not straight if they're dating a person of a different gender. They're still bi/pansexual.

(Because he's bisexual. Get it?)
(Because he's bisexual. Get it?)

5. Don't call bi/pan people gay.

A bi/pan person is not gay if they're dating a person of the same gender. They're still bi/pansexual.

*Sheds a tear from how beautifully phrased this is*
*Sheds a tear from how beautifully phrased this is* | Source

6. Refer to bi/pan people using the language they prefer.

Some of us will want to be referred to as bisexual, others pansexual, and others still as fluid, flexible, or queer. Supporting us is as simple as respecting our identities. You can figure out pretty quickly what language a person would like to be referred to by listening to what language they use to refer to themselves (i.e. if someone says "i'm bi" [bisexual] or "gender doesn't really matter to me" [pansexual] or "I prefer not to define myself that way" [fluid/queer].

*Important: Be mindful that queer is still considered a slur in different parts of the world and even in different cultural contexts, so don't call a person "queer" unless they already use that word when referring to themselves.

Source

7. Don't ask us if we're "sure" we're bi just because we haven't dated someone of the same (or opposite) gender before.

When it comes to bi/panphobia, both straight and gay people are equally at fault. Did you have to date someone of a specific gender (or at all) to realize you were attracted to them? No?? Well neither did we!!

A more literal take on the issue.
A more literal take on the issue. | Source

8. Correct others when they mislabel a bi or pansexual person as gay or straight.

Bierasure, or incorrectly labelling bi/pansexual people as either gay or straight, is an endemic problem that quite literally erases the existence of bi/pan people.

Now that you're an informed ally, it's time to share all that you've learned with the people around you. This could apply to your friends or family, or even celebrities, alive (i.e. Kristen Stewart, Anna Paquin, etc.), or dead (i.e. Freddy Mercury, Malcolm X, etc.).

Good job! You are now qualified to be a bi/pansexual ally!

Make sure to comment below and share with those who aren't aware of bi/pan erasure.

How do YOU identify ~sexually~?

See results

How do YOU identify ~romantically~?

See results
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)