How to Catch a Lying, Cheating Thief
There are those in this world that would rather lie for some reason.
Okay, so it’s true that nobody’s perfect; we’ve all told lies or little white lies at least. There’s that and the habitual or pathological liar; they not only lie, but cheat and steal as well. The way that you can identify them is that they lie about everything, even if it’s an exaggeration, a stretched truth (which isn’t lying to them, just spicing it up).
I’ve had a friend in the past who was a pathological liar, and probably still is. It wasn’t enough that few people liked him in the first place, but the fact that he was a deceiver cemented his place as a figure of contempt throughout the school and neighbourhood.
Even if it was the smallest things, like what he was having for supper, there was that need to lie all the time, like a compulsion. Sometimes it was to impress his friends, to improve his standing with them. He lied about his possessions, clothes, his parents and their occupations, and many other things too.
I’m sure that quite a few of ‘his’ possessions weren’t actually his. I know this because he told me.
The thing is that if he can steal from others and tell you, how comfortable would you feel? He could very well steal from you next.
And so he did. I once left my jersey at his house, and he had the cheek to wear it to school on the next civvies day when we were allowed to wear casual clothes. Of course, when I confronted him about it, he told me that it was his brother’s jersey, which was funny, because that’s exactly what I had told him, that it was my brother's jersey. And the chances of there being two hideous jerseys like that in the same neighbourhood let alone the same universe are pretty slim.
Then in addition, there’s the B.S-ing, where they ramp things up, once again, to impress people, while in reality (something they’re not comfortable with) it actually provokes the opposite emotion.
Some say that liars belong to Satan, the father of lies. Scientists maintain that these pathological liars have more grey matter and less white matter in their brains; this is supposedly because of their lack of inhibition when it comes to deception of any sort.
The worst (or best, depending on how you see it) part of all this is when you can actually find out they are lying. This changes everything; you are no longer a stupid mark that’s manipulated and tricked, you become wise and are able to see through things, like you just acquired a pair of x-ray specs. Even better, is when you can spot a lie, and then counter-attack by telling one yourself, showing that you are able to play their little game and weave your own web of deceit. It might even be better if they can tell when you are lying, because then they will really feel it, and the best part of it is that they can’t really do anything about it, because if they condemn you or confront you about your ways, you can shoot them down with your knowledge and evidence of their past transgressions against you; you could even add in the part that you are teaching them a lesson: “Not so nice, is it?”.
"When I confronted him about it, he told me that it was his brother’s jersey. The chances of there being two hideous jerseys like that in the same neighbourhood let alone the same universe are pretty slim."
The other option is to confront them directly about their actions. The only thing with this is that sometimes their lies are so intricate, perhaps even with half-truths woven in here and there, that you are uneasy and even unsure about doing this, because they might actually be telling the truth for once, and you are labeled as a doubter or a hater. You really need proof of their lies and other negative behaviour, like cheating and stealing, because what are the odds of them admitting it in an ‘honest’ conversation? One lie can just be covered with another one quite easily.
One of the best ways I’ve found, to uncover the truth, is to speak to someone who knows them. Maybe they’re friends with that person or perhaps they at least go to the same school, workplace or hang out at the same places. I’ve done this before, when I’ve actually asked a girl who some guy said he’d slept with if that was true. She of course said it wasn’t, but then people might just lie once again to cover something like that up, or risk getting a bad reputation. I also happened to ask if there was a wild party at the house that night with drugs and her friend who also happened to be there denied the whole thing; they both shook their heads, and so I then felt satisfied that I had gotten the truth about that night at last.
What was worse and this is another thing to watch out for, is that he not only lied about his little liaison, but he said that it had been unprotected as well. When he told me that, because we were ‘friends’, I was shocked and I actually fell for it because of the high risk of HIV/AIDS and everything nowadays, and I kind of felt sorry for him. This is another sort of trick used by liars: sympathy. It lends credence to the story that they are weaving and brings out an emotion within you. Then they’ve got you, hook, line and sinker. It’s almost as though you’ve built up a tolerance level to it all, and they feel that you’re not buying it and so they need to raise the bar a little even if it means evoking fear in you.
When I saw him again though after all my investigating, he basically came out about the whole thing, in his own way that is. He said that he had phoned the girl that he had allegedly slept with and she had told him that it didn’t go that far, because he was too drunk and high. When I spoke to her, she assured me that it didn’t go anywhere at all. She was a tease after all, not a whore.
The one way that you can get your own back without lying on your part or even digging for the truth elsewhere, although it may be a little malicious, is to pretend that you are indeed buying into it, and to then ‘overreact’ and go and tell other people, “Oh did you hear? So-and-so has an infection!”
Then when word gets back to him, you can just maintain that you were trying to help him by getting people to understand his situation, and that you were really worried about his health.
Okay, so that’s very malicious and can even land you in trouble, until that is, he comes clean about it, then you can all be mad at him again like usual.
If he’s stolen something, particularly if it belongs to you, you could phone the police. It is a crime after all.
I don’t know why when people have some sort of emotional attachment to someone who does illegal things they can’t seem to do anything right and teach them a lesson or have the guts to at least confront them. They are not above the law or anyone else. Wouldn’t it be great after all the misery he’s put you through to see him carted off in the back of a van?
Then you can say, “Tell it to the judge!”
“Liars ought to have good memories”— Algernon Sidney
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© 2009 Anti-Valentine
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