How to Control Your Man - Part 4

4. Use water, not fire.

Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry, and you get what you want.

Minnehaha, Laughing Water, of Hiawatha fame should sometimes be Minneboohoo, or Crying Water! When your intuition tells you an emotional outburst is the need of the hour, choose to turn on the tap instead of striking the match. This works especially great in public places! And it helps if your man is a proper gentleman who hates scenes!

Cleo, though poor in man-control strategy, accidentally stumbles upon this truth on their daughter’s eighth birthday:

After the party was over, Tony walked into the devastated area to find Cleo mourning the ruins of a dead vase.

‘Mother gave it to us when she first came here, hoo, hoo, hoo!’

Tony, organized problem-solver of the management-book kind, decided to remove the source of her grief immediately and equipped himself with pan and broom. Shooting vague terms of consolation to his wife as he cleaned up, Tony found himself absentmindedly cleaning up all the debris. Getting into the mood of the thing, he even did his regular comic act with the vacuum cleaner as prop. The evening ended in a candle-lit dinner at the new restaurant in town!

One fine shopping day, a little hint of a tear in Mary’s eye as she gazed at an expensive watch brought it home as an anniversary gift! Boys are absolutely helpless when girls turn on the water supply. They haven't been trained to handle this. Dad didn't tell them. Probably Dad didn't know what to do with Mom’s tears either. However, there are some nasty sadists who react violently, and then you have to follow your intuition, if any. Or past experience. If any.

Foreword

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

More by this Author


Comments 12 comments

G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Well there are tears for many reason's  Mostly happy ones for me..but also sad ones when a hurt feeling comes into play....Most of the time love is really forever and hang on....women cry for many reason's  Hormones....feelings...caring...love...sweet words...a flower for no reason... I was gonna go to bed ..but keep reading your hubs...G-Ma  :O) tsk...tsk...tsk...


Kenny Wordsmith profile image

Kenny Wordsmith 9 years ago from Chennai Author

Oh, G-ma, you made my day! You can go to bed with the feeling that you gace me much delight chasing your comments all over my hubs! G'nite, G-Ma!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

good night..sweat dreams..an bless you G-ma :O)


Kenny Wordsmith profile image

Kenny Wordsmith 9 years ago from Chennai Author

Yes, G-Ma, my hubs will wait for you, sleep well!


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

I'm like G-Ma, it's almost midnight and here I am still reading part 4. :-) Tears? Now let me recall..well, it they are genuine distressed tears, my man would readily engulf me in a big hug. LOL


Kenny Wordsmith profile image

Kenny Wordsmith 8 years ago from Chennai Author

He's a good man, Michelle. And you are an honest lady. Many women supply tears on demand, and tears are useful... LOL


Jason Stanley profile image

Jason Stanley 8 years ago

Yup, tears always tare it. Heck, even my middle aged female cat seems to know how to tear up to get what she wants (do cats have tear ducts?)


Kenny Wordsmith profile image

Kenny Wordsmith 8 years ago from Chennai Author

Never saw a cat in tears myself. My cat manages with a plaintive look. Someone fetch an Oscar for my cat!


ahostagesituation profile image

ahostagesituation 6 years ago

I just love this. I can't cry unless I'm actually upset, and don't cry much but I'll laugh while crying at a guy trying to fix the issue. They look at you wondering what this mysterious leaking of eyes is? Why are you doing this?? Make it stop! Will money stop the leak? Jewelry? Compliments? Anything...just make it stop!


Kenny Wordsmith profile image

Kenny Wordsmith 6 years ago from Chennai Author

Yes, a woman will just hug and be with a woman who is crying, and share the emotion. But a man has to deal with it and do something. :)


Apparently_noone  5 years ago

I just have to say I disagree. When my husbands parents had to relocate due to a layoff to another state, they offered to take our 2 year old daughter with them for a month to help us save money on childcare (they had been watching her free since I began working to help us out). I, although greatful for the offer, told my husband I wanted to decline because I didn't like the idea of my baby being out of state and for that long. He told me he already decided she was going and when I began to cry and blubber in protest, all I got was a "get over it, she's going", "you're disgusting", and a "shut the f**k up". So from my experience, I think its fair to say not all men respond to the water tactic. For those of you who have had good reactions to it, feel blessed that you have a man capable of compassion, because some of us aren't that lucky.


Kenny Wordsmith profile image

Kenny Wordsmith 5 years ago from Chennai Author

You have to be very good at it. Some men see through this. :P

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