How to Cope With Getting Dumped for No Reason
Trying to Figure It Out
There are many reasons for breakups--does your situation fall into one of these categories?
- Different religions
- Different career ambitions
- Different politics
- Refusal to commit
- Lack of things in common
- Stress over money or children
- Maturity differences
Dealing with a Breakup That Takes You By Surprise
Breakups hurt--and they hurt even more if you're the one who gets dumped and you didn't see it coming. If you were happy in the relationship--whether it was a new love or an established one--you will likely have trouble moving on from it. After all, it's human nature to want to understand things and to analyze and consider them until we do!
Unfortunately, if you find yourself in this situation you may never truly understand how someone you love wouldn't love you back. You can cope with it, though, and eventually move on to another great relationship.
Read on for how to cope with getting dumped for no reason.
Surviving a Breakup
Step One: Accepting That You Are No Longer in a Relationship
The first step to coping with getting dumped for no reason is to accept that you are no longer in a relationship. Don't dwell on what you and your ex-significant other were doing last week, or last month, or how much fun you were having. Keep yourself planted firmly in the present and face your reality--tell your friends, change your Facebook status, and gather up pictures to put somewhere where you can't see them and start spontaneously sobbing.
Take a few days to wallow, of course, because breakups are deeply painful--but beyond that, don't waste time wishing it hadn't happened. While the world as you know it just ended, there's still a world out there, and it has a lot of amazing possibilities in it!
Step Two: Keep Living Your Life
After a breakup, it's tempting to retreat to the couch, a pile of movies, and a bag of popcorn. Maybe you cancel plans with friends, call in sick to work for a few days, and ignore the rest of the world. That's a bad idea!
The more you sit around by yourself moping, the longer it will take you to move on. Keep the plans you've already made, and make additional plans with friends too. Being out with others and having fun--even if you're convinced you'll be miserable the entire time--will distract you and pass the days and nights that would otherwise be lonely.
Your friends and family are there for you, and lean on them if you need to for companionship, conversation, and support (just be sure not to endlessly bewail how sad you are, or eventually your calls will start going to voicemail).
Step Three: Reflect on the Relationship After You've Achieved Some Distance
A few weeks or months after the breakup, you should be feeling calmer and have moved on from the phase where you feel constantly dejected and full of regret. Once this happens, you can look back on the relationship (if you still feel the need for closure) and objectively think about what happened.
Did you have political or religious differences? Did you have different goals in life? Were your maturity levels different? It's very rare that breakups between two happy people come out of the blue--looking back, you might realize that you fought frequently, didn't always enjoy each other's company, and weren't as happy as you thought. There are often signs that a breakup is imminent, even if you love the other person--and love can sometimes blind us to those signs.
Getting dumped for no reason is unlikely--it has happened and will happen again, but usually you ca identify signs and find closure once the emotions of the experience have faded a bit.
Getting Dumped is Not the End
It's not comforting, but getting dumped happens to everyone (except for those few people who marry their childhood or high school sweethearts without any other partners in between). Even if you don't understand why you got dumped, it is possible to cope and move on--love will happen again.
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