How to Domesticate your Man

I wouldn't begin to tell you how to behave in your relationship.. take these as some Tips on how to help a gal ease her honey into domestic bliss. Perhaps your man goes out every night or spends too much time with guys. Perhaps he is gunshy at the word relationship or marriage. Maybe he is just a mama's boy who has not done a whole lot for himself. Here a few words of advice to get your guy domesticated.

 Now if you have a guy who is already into doing laundry and doing other household chores without a squawk then good for you!  If you have a man who can wash your laundry fold and put it into the correct drawer then he is a keeper.  A man who will fold you undies is not afraid of commitment.  For the rest of you read on.

Spoil him

 Oh yes, you heard right.. spoil the man silly.  Show him the extra attention that you crave.Lay out his outfit the night before for work so he wont' have to think about what to wear or ask you while you are bleary eyed in the morning "Does this match?"  Put little love you note in the lunch you pack. Send him sexy pictures of you via the cell phone during the day. Have ESPN or the SyFy Channel on the TV 24 hours a day. ( you will be at the computer anyway right?) Keep his favorite alcoholic drink on hand and make sure the fridge is always stocked. right now you are probably thinking "what is SHE thinking?.. Read on and you will see my devious plan

Feed Him

 yep.. food is a crucial role in the domestication process. Keeping the right foods on hand makes your man want to eat and eat and eat.  A sure physical sign of domestication is in progress in the development of the man pooch.  Not too much tummy but a little lap over the belt. ( You know Dunlap's disease, "my belly dunlaped over my belt")  Fix him yummy foods for dinner and have enough for leftovers tomorrow.  Men love leftovers.  Leftover are just a continuation of last night's dinner.  It is already prepared and all they have to do is heat er up.  Beer consumption is also important at this time too.  Beer has calories and they add up to contribute to the man pooch.  Some men think that malted drinks such as Mikes Hard Lemonade are healthy for you if they have pomegranate or berry in it.  Let them think it!

What a Mess!
What a Mess!

Leave him to fend for himself

Now is the part where you leave him to fend for himself... Maybe your girlfriend has a crisis you have to attend to. Or a family member needs you to come visit out of state. Whatever it is make a plausible excusable excuse to bow out of the scene for a little while. This may cause panic in your man as he has actually get along without you. Or your man may be cool with you doing your thing until he has to do for himself. It wouldn't hurt if you wanted to hide the remote somewhere either!

You know your man best.. will he go back home for his momma to step in until you return? Or will you return to a home full of pizza boxes and dirty underwear? Will he go out with his buddies to the local pub?  The gals he may flirt with may not find him as attractive in his domesticated state.  This is a true test of a relationship if you care to go there.

Ahh Domestic Bliss!
Ahh Domestic Bliss!

Hopefully when you return your guy will be very thankful to see you and appreciate all that you do. Now this is the part where new learning can take place to help your relationship grow. As you make your way through the piles of pizza boxes, Reese Cup wrappers and beer bottles suggest to him that he may need to learn how to do things on his own. Suggest that maybe you all cook a dinner together once a week so he can learn to make a few of his own dishes. Indicate that it is sometimes hard to manage keeping the house clean and cook all the meals, especailly in the light of this new "crisis". Hopefully a light bulb will go off in his head ands he will say "Hey honey How about if I help you with household chores." Please let him know it is Ok that he vacuums as long as he puts it away. You ever notice guys will do the chore that involves using a machine. If they vacuum they always leave it out.. as if it is proof that they did a chore. Suggest to him too that maybe you both can do thing together like exercise. Your man my not be fond of this at first but then his mind will wander back to a few nights ago when the cute gals at Applebees wouldn't even look his way.

Once he agrees to a new set of rules then magically locate the missing remote. Then he will show you the new remote he bought because in a man's world it is a lot easier to go to the store to buy one then look under a couch cushion

 So there you have it a few words of advice to get your guy domesticated.  He may not be ready for marriage but these tips may help him at least pick up after himself! And if you can get a guy to fold your laundry you are almost there.! 

More by this Author


Comments 8 comments

dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 6 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Doris Day had the right idea... Treat your man like your favorite dog..!


sissychuck44 6 years ago

it was good Ms Chievous!! I enjoyed reading it.


Ms Chievous profile image

Ms Chievous 7 years ago from Wv Author

Good for you Neil because women rule! :) Thanks for stopping by


neilagain 7 years ago

hello,I much prefer a world of real female supremacy.


Lgali profile image

Lgali 7 years ago

very funny thanks


Ms Chievous profile image

Ms Chievous 7 years ago from Wv Author

Thanks! I wasn't expecting a positive reaction from the guys! I guess you all are onto our evil plan ;)


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 7 years ago

Yah, they have to spoil us and feed us a bit :) I loved this hub...


wesleycox profile image

wesleycox 7 years ago from Back in Texas, at least until August 2012

This is very funny, I chuckled continuously. I think it is evil to give your man a dunlap.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working