How to Get Boys to Like You
Ah, there's a special guy, isn't there? Someone who makes your heart skip a beat when your eyes meet? Someone who makes your face break into a smile whenever you think of him? I bet he's incredibly cool, and nice, and talented... ugh! Swoon!
I bet you're wondering what it's going to take to get him to like you. Guuurlfrain, you have come to the right place! Seriously. Because there's a right way and a wrong way to go about making boys like you. And despite its mass market appeal, the dribble they're feeding you in girly magazines is not going to cut it.
Trust me. I'm good at stuff like this. I'm from the Internet. So let's proceed.
Take the Red Pill
We're going to have to start with the moment of truth, mes ami.
I'm going to offer you two pills. One is red, one is blue. If you want to continue living the easy life, one of fluff (and frustration and unfulfilled dreams, eventual disaffection... and bloating), take the blue pill and press the back button.
Still with me? Then you've taken the red pill approach. You sure? Well, there's no going back now.
What you've got to do is forget about him! You heard me! I don't want no more of this mooning business! I don't want to see a spot of pining. Not a smidgen! You need to forget about this guy, and then you need to beat him at his own game. It's that simple.
You heard me! You need to forget about this guy! Stop sighing when he walks by! Stop pining! You're getting drool all over the carpet and I just steam cleaned the darn thing and it was a total hassle, so just stop. Stop.
Listen. If he were really into you, he would have probably shown some interest by now. If he's the shy or reticent type and is known for not reaching out on his own, obviously you would need to do some snooping on the subject, but this guide is about how to get a boy to like you, not how to get a boy who already likes you to confess his feelings, so we're both working with the somewhat disappointing reality that this guy doesn't return your affection.
Obviously you'd like to change his feelings about you, but that's pointless. He doesn't deserve you (the jerk) if he doesn't like you just the way you are. This means you need to move on. He's nothing to you. Really. If he's not into you, he's not into you. Trying to continue your campaign to win his affections is only going to damage your personal dignity and annoy him.
BEAT Him at His Own Game
Are you somewhat dismayed by the prospect of forgetting about this awesome guy? Don't worry. I have a fun project to keep you busy!
Your mission: to beat this boy at his own game. That's right, girly. I want you to be better than him. I want you to be cooler than him. I want you to blow this punk out of the frickin' water.
Chances are you're cooler than he is already, but that doesn't mean that you don't deserve a little extra self-improvement. I'm not asking that you become this guy- that you mirror his own talents and special abilities; that would be creepy. I'm simply suggesting that you develop your own sense of self worth and become every bit as cool, nice, fun, awesome, and smart as he is- and then some.
This is going to take a lot of time and effort, but you'd be surprised by how much energy and free time you'll have now that you're not mooning over some bogus looser. You'll wonder why you didn't give this a try earlier!
Maybe you're cross at me for luring you into this guide under the guise that I would help you get boys to like you, only to tell you to forget about boys entirely. Bear with me.
You see, pandering to guys by getting all desperate and clingy isn't going to help you in the boy department, unless you want to be a lifelong tool. You have to learn how to think for yourself. You must develop a strong sense of independence and self worth.
The Buddhists have this funny concept of enlightenment... they basically say that once you stop desperately wanting it and clinging to all your petty wants and needs in life, you achieve it. The key transcendence.
I'm advising you to do the exact same thing here, but only in the boy department. Simple! By the time you stop wistfully pining over these guys and develop a strong sense of self and a cool personality, they'll probably like you a lot more.
And hey, once you achieve this, you've already got the roadmap to enlightenment! Heck, Nirvana is just a hop, skip, and a jump away...
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