How Do I Know When a Girl Doesn't Like Me?

Men are extremely dense. They often continue to go after women who have long ago written them off. Many men simply don't understand when women don't like them. Frequently, women have to serve up a proverbial warning shot to get these men to go away.

Sometimes, women have to fire an actual shot (just kidding!). Thus men, recognize when women have had enough. That way, you can do more productive things, like talking to women who give you the time of day. When you recognize the signs of a woman who doesn't like you, you improve the quality of your life. You'll improve the quality of her life (though you may no longer care about the quality of her life).

Just because a woman wears a tight skirt and a revealing top doesn't mean she's into you. It means that she hoped you were going to be a lot cooler and hotter than you actually are. Women like to have a plan B. If you suck, they can cut bait and move on. Get a grip on reality, sir. Beware when one of the following things happens. It means she would rather an elephant defecate on her than spend another minute with you.

Nice job! Mission not accomplished. Well, it's possible she's just crazy. However, this is my way of saying that closed body language is trouble. You're not attractive to her. You're not rocking her world, not even a small tremor. This is a strong, strong indicator no matter what stage of a relationship you're in. It's good for telling whether or not you're going to get a second date. Closed body language is a good indicator she's about to dump you.

A woman who likes you is open and welcoming. When men are attractive, women respond with open body language. In the context of an early dating situation, this is the reason you go in for a kiss early. You'll know where you stand. You can also go for a hug, if you want. A hug can be an okay solution to the ending of a first date. If the woman happily reciprocates, that's positive. If the woman body hugs you first, even better (that's a good time for a light kiss, btw). However, if you go in for a hug and you get kneed in the groin, that's not so good. Hello, closed body language. Very closed.

Beware the foot rocket! This is my way of saying that she kicked you in the urine-producing region or otherwise got so mad that she resorted to physical violence. This is bad, incidentally. I've noticed that guys are rather dense, so that's why I'm saying that. No matter how often you tell a guy you think he's a loser, they tend to just keep coming. You tell a guy you think there's no chemistry (which is code for "you suck") and he leans in for a kiss. Guys, when a woman says she doesn't like you and she doesn't answer your calls and she otherwise gives every possible indicator that she doesn't want anything to do with you, it's probably because she doesn't want anything to do with you. Do we really have to resort to the foot rocket? The foot rocket is a dead giveaway we don't like you.

When your mere touch causes a woman to contemplate the end of her existence, that's a bad sign. Further, and for those who aren't catching on, since she's dead, sex is off. Unless you're a necrophiliac. No, just kidding. Really, anything you do to cause a woman to hurt herself is a bad sign. The thought of your presence within her bodily vicinity makes her want to die. Usually, a woman has to have pretty low self-confidence to harm herself just because you suck so much. A woman with high self-confidence will have no such issue. It will be more a source of amusement for her because she doesn't care.

The point here is that you need to listen to a woman's words. Actually, a woman's words mean something. They're not just there to fill the air before sex. So, when she calls you a giant ball of slime, don't go home and think there's still a chance. Okay, sometimes it's not as obvious as this. Words like "not interested" and "I have a boyfriend" are bad signs. If you ask for her number and it's the number for a local massage parlor, it was no mistake. When she just says "please, dear God, don't call me", then don't call. If she says "I really don't want you to have my phone number", turn and walk the other way. There are more fish in the sea.

Sure, men and women argue. Sometimes they argue loudly. However, a pronouncement such as "get the hell away from me" is clear. So is "I never want to see you again". Be clear about a woman who says "I hope your genitalia disintegrates in a horrible fire". She doesn't like you. But what if she says "I hope an angry badger devours one of your testicles slowly"? Nope, bad too. In other words, take what she says seriously.

When a woman calls the cops on a guy, there's no positive spin. Usually she calls the cops if you show up at her door too many times. Or the cops come if you stand outside her window late at night naked. They'll show up if you ram her car as she's trying to leave for work. Once she calls the cops on you, it's a pretty sure sex is off. And really, asking for sex at that point is pretty pathetic.

Remember, there's a big difference between calling the cops on you and calling the cops for you. Like if you start complaining about pains in your chest and collapse on the floor in a heap. You hope you wake up in the hospital and she's sitting by your side. You might get some nookie there assuming the ticker can hold out. What if you collapse after complaining of chest pains? And the last thing you hear before seeing the white light is laughing? That's probably not good.

If you dying makes the object of your affection laugh, she does not hold you in high regard. So, imagine she backs over your foot with her car. What if she rolls down her window and laughs? Not a good sign. What if she asks you what kind of idiot you are? Also not great. And imagine she asks you to put the rest of your body under the car. Really bad. Generally speaking, women usually don't find it amusing when people they like hurt themselves.

You can definitely excuse away when a girl vomits on you once because people do get sick. Sometimes they eat a bad oyster or accidentally swallow a bug. However, if your woman vomits on you more than once, it's probably a sign. Frankly, I've found that vomiting on someone works a lot better than not returning their calls. When you don't return calls, most guys just keep calling. That usually happens after you've told them it's not going to work out. So, if you let them take you to dinner a few times and vomit on them, guys don't like it. Remember, if it's that easy for her to vomit on you, she probably doesn't like you.