How to Live Through Getting Dumped
This was written mostly for humor. Take the good advice and ignore the bad advice. Sometimes it helps just to laugh about things and that is what I try to do in bad situations. Don't do anything that could potentially harm yourself or anybody else. Don't lower your morals or standards just because somebody hurt you.
So you have been dumped have you? Well, that sucks!
I know how it feels, I have been there! So have most people. Just remember one thing; people don’t die from broken hearts. I am sure there has to be a song about it so it’s got to be true. So just calm down and take my advice. Also as you read this, keep in mind that I am a woman so I am going to refer as your “ex” as he, but my advice applies to either gender.
1. He didn't deserve you!
If you are awesome like me, chances are you realized you were way too good for your ex long before he broke up with you. Most likely you were just too nice to break up with him yourself. So don’t sweat the drama. If you are still upset however, let’s continue.
2. Think about how you got dumped.
Did your ex break up with you by email? If so then that right there shows what a loser he was and he obviously didn’t deserve you anyway. If you got dumped in any other way then look on the bright side, at least you didn’t get dumped in an email!
3. Don’t stay friends!
Sometimes when you care about someone it is hard to imagine not having them in your life anymore. Let’s be real people, do you really want to be friends with that jerk who broke your heart? Do you really want to hear all about how great his life is without you or how amazing his new girlfriend is? And face the truth, he was probably hooking up with said girlfriend way before he dumped you but he was too much of an ass to admit it so instead he just wrote you a stupid email ending things.
Think about it. The real reason you want to be friends is so you can see how bad things are going for him and constantly remind him what a dumbass he was for giving you up. It’s not worth it though. Give it up before he ends up trying to psychoanalyze you over the phone one day making you cry and making you hate him more than the day he dumped you through email.
4. Don’t keep his stuff.
Just get rid of anything of his or anything he ever gave you, unless it is really expensive. The last thing you need is a reminder. Best option is to spray it with your perfume and send it back to him so when he opens the box he will remember how good you smell and feel guilty and miss you!
5. Move on to “BIGGER” and better things.
We all know the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one. Even if you thought he was the best man in the world, I promise there is someone else out there with an “ENORMOUS” amount of better qualities. Besides, if he couldn’t appreciate your awesomeness, he was obviously flawed.
6. Stop talking about him.
I know this is hard. Granted the first week or two you won’t be able to help it.
“How could he do this to me?”
“I miss him!”
“He was so hot!”
Yeah, all these things may come out of your mouth or go through your head several times a day. The more you dwell on it, the more you will miss him. A great piece of advice a friend once gave me was “File him under L (for Loser) and forget him!”
7. Take your anger out in positive ways.
My suggestion is work out. Go to the gym and turn all that negativity into positive energy by focusing on yourself rather than him. Not a gym person? Work out at home! Go running; I like to run because it keeps me from thinking about personal stress. Instead I am just thinking about how much I hate running and how much my leg hurts. Or do some home work outs like P90X. I personally love P90X, it rocks. The Kenpo X is great, you can pretend you are punching or kicking him in the face as you work out. Not only will doing this help you feel better but you will end up looking way hotter than you did the whole time you were dating him!
8. Throw a party in honor of you!
Celebrate your awesomeness. Be sure to tell all your friends that they are to spend the entire evening reminding you how fabulous you are and how much better off you are without him. Feel good about being you!
Revenge is sweeter than chocolate on Valentine’s Day. If you really can’t get past things and have to seek justice (which I fully understand especially if he dumped you by email) then just go ahead and do something you think will piss him off. Send him pictures of you making out with a hot chick or having sex with his brother.
10. He can't have you back!
Most importantly remember, DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK! Remember that he hurt you; he was not good enough for you. I don’t care how many times he says he is sorry, he had his chance! If he is lost without you, tell him to go buy a GPS.
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