How to Make Real Friends and be a Great Friend

“There exists a friend sticking closer than a brother.” --- Proverbs 18:24

(This article contains tips to have enduring friends and provides an answer to the question, "How to build a real friendship"). An enduring friendship is truly essential to the human spirit as food and water are to our body. Whether we are rich or poor, we all need friends, our companions that will pull us through thick and thin. Friends are our constant source of joy that uplift our spirits every time we’re with them savoring moments of unending laughter and getting well with each other. Friends can provide us healthy conversation that expands our knowledge and wisdom. Much-needed advices in times of challenges are readily available when we need them and our friends are ready to give them without hesitation. They wipe away tears when sorrow and loneliness struck like a game called twist of fate. They are our solid anchors when we need stability and troubles lurk. They are our defensive sentinels when foes' slugs are all over the place. Pals, brother, sister, bro, sis or whatever we call our friends they are truly gems, priceless possessions to keep for a lifetime. But modern day living spreads our time & energy thin. Mobility from one place to another and the presence of IT stuffs like TV, DVD, computer, internet & more are affecting our getting acquainted with our friends well. Everyone seems busy at almost all the time. But still, young and old, we need happy and meaningful friendships.

Here are some effective and efficient tips to make real friends and be a great friend:

1. We need to know why we need to have friends. Loneliness is a healthy hunger… a natural sign that we are lacking companionship. Our thirst makes us drink water, the feeling of loneliness enables us to search for a good friend.

2. Adopt positive attitude, don’t feel sorry when others have more or better friendships than you, take good care of yourself physically and emotionally to help boost our chances of finding friend(s). Having a healthy diet, adequate rest, exercises, being neat, clean and well-groomed will immediately transform you to be a more desirable and enhances your self-esteem and self-respect. However don’t emphasize or overly concerned about outward appearance for what the good people are looking for are what lies in the inner person.

3. Communication and sharing are vital to true friendship than good looks and charisma. Empathy is essential in friendship and generosity and love will cover any shortcomings.

4. Just be yourself at all times. People who are genuinely happy, need not to impress others. Jolly people readily accept others as they are, disregarding over minor flaws. Remember, only by being genuine can we enjoy genuine friendship.

5. To have a friend, be a friend. To have real friends or to be an unselfish, giving friend yourself, in short, be a sincere friend. Friendship must be filled with more of giving than about getting. Authentic happiness comes from giving. The individual that receives is happy but the one that gives is even happier.

6. Learn to reach out to your friends. Sometimes our friends meet problems and it is nice to ask and understand them, and do all we can to help.

7. Be a good listener by displaying your interest in what others will say by not making any unnecessary interruptions.

8. Mutual respect. Showing consideration on “others” feelings. If you want your friends to be careful with what will come out from their mouth, you should do the same by being tactful.

9. Do not smother friends. Genuine friendship is neither jealous nor possessive. Allow your friends to enhance and nurture other friendship too. Additionally, consider your friends need for privacy, e.g. married friends need time for themselves, be balanced yet sincere.

10. Do not demand perfection. No one is flawless and we don’t hold any right to ask our friends to be perfect. We must accept our friend’s imperfections and make some adjustments for them, and vice versa.

11. To improve friendship, genuine happiness can emanate from giving yourself, time and resources. Then the reward you could reap is far greater than the effort and sacrifices you’ve poured out. When considering would be friends do not look up to whom you can give advantage.

12. It has been said that friendship doubles our joys and halves our sorrows. Be realistic though, don’t expect that our friends will solve all our problems.

13. Once we have made friends, never take him/her for granted. When apart by time and distance, friends should think about each other, pray for each other and even if they get to see each other once in a blue moon. They can quickly make adjustments with each other.

14. Friends through thick and thin will be always be at your side when difficulty or need arises, and is also important to be there for them when they also need us in times of distress.

15. True best of friends are fast to solve any conflicts and ready to forgive each other, when misunderstandings sprout out like mushrooms. Real friends do not leave their friends because the road sometimes gets rocky and bumpy.

16. By having not selfish motives and with positive attitude, you can acquire real friend.

17. Select friends that have high moral values. When two individuals give potent moral strength to their friendship, they can help each other to grow and their bonds will get even stronger.

18. French Pacôme quips, “ For me a true friend is one who listens to use and speaks kindly words to me but who is also capable of reprimanding me when I do something stupid". Friends will always aid you in the right paths and correct you when you are about to make foolish things.

19. Get to know potential friend up close and personal. To discern someone’s true attitudes requires patience, skill and time. If a person will talk behind your back, will not make a great friend. Be cautious in sizing your friends, those who tends to use people and fond of excessive vices will not make good potential friends.

20. Does common traits important in friendship? To have something in common is vital in friendship to easily understand each other and its best if they have the same basic moral and spiritual values. However,commonness in personality and background is not a requirement in a true friendship, differences in life oftentimes can bring diversity and dynamism to a friendship, Age difference is not hindrance in friendship, the older people will provide experience, wisdom, discernment & equilibrium that young ones lacks. The young guns, on the other hand, provides the energy, exuberance and vitality that could uplift spirits.

My fifteenth (15th) Hub in the HubChallenge...

Comments 39 comments

merlyn cordero 3 years ago

friendship makes me realize of being perfect and being important to all.:)

although,it also make me think and feel confident of myself....:)

rebekahELLE profile image

rebekahELLE 4 years ago from Tampa Bay

A beautiful read. Friends are worth more than treasures, that is certain.

pooilum profile image

pooilum 4 years ago from Malaysia

This is a real good article. Thanks for sharing

David Psalm 5 years ago

my bestfriend is a muslim. i love him so much ,his kind and cheers me up very warmly,he respects me ,he even wants me to sleep over there house so often.

BUT everything that i have sacrifice and provide for him was wasted, change when he started to have a girlfriend. that's why i was so depressed every time. hoping that god may someday heal and restore our friendship

mubashir iqbal 5 years ago

friends are everything 4 me after my blood relations.

Jack 5 years ago

I'm going to try use you're guide and get some real friends thanks, I hope this changes my life.

Jack 5 years ago

I'm going to try use you're guide and get some real friends thanks, I hope this changes my life.

naturalsolutions 5 years ago

I have a friend that i consider as a brother or more. It really make us feel better every time we are together. I love my friend because he are true person and always gives me a great friend treatment.

I like your hub so much.

sindhuja 5 years ago

Even i feel alone without a real and true friend... Hope i l find someone soon....

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 5 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

kudos Ferdz

Ferdinand Bulusan 5 years ago

Thanks! this is great, I can use this in my Sunday School class for youth!

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 6 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Yeah indeed they are very true and quite helpful thanks for the time...

Ekene Eliye 6 years ago

I lyk ur tips on making real friENDs,they are very true and quite helpful.thanks a lot.

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 6 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

I prayed for God that I hope I will have a best friend several years back... and now I have three (one is my future wife) of em and I am so happy with it...

This is the rule of the thumb, if you want to have a friend be a friend, build bridges instead of walls, get rid of habits that pisses off people and the tips here will surely help you, These are time-tested.

Brett Tanner 6 years ago

My problem i don't have ant real friends i have like soo many friends on facebook but i have not met more than 90% of them.i feel damn lonely quite often arrrgh hate the feeling is it my insecurity?help me please.

Brett 6 years ago

i am feeling soooo lonely. Help me!

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 6 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

thanks a lot for the kind comment danam...

danamgarza profile image

danamgarza 6 years ago from Santa Clarita, Ca

I love this.....friends are life saving thank you!

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 6 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Thanks for the visit and for the encouraging remarks...

Scarlett Hart profile image

Scarlett Hart 6 years ago from The World At Large

LOVE THE HUB!!! Great job! Beautiful and rated up!!! XX

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 6 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author


sahil 6 years ago

thanks......dost bahut achi bat likhi hai ....

buzzbucks profile image

buzzbucks 6 years ago from India

A nice information about a friendship.A few friends like you know the value of friendship,so that you have given a great information on friendship.Thanks for sharing this friend...

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

@ neng - we miss you too here neng... I hope you are doing fine there and waxing hot I suppose...

@neil - sure neil...

Thanks for the visitI I really appreciate it...

neil 7 years ago

this blog is really a catchy thingy that everyone will be amazed.everybody would come to visit again and again specially generalhowitzer's(hehe. .am i S.I.P squared?). . .ahm, generalhowitzer aka sir eugene. . wakokok(is it a mistake if i say your real nem hir?!). . hmm. . nice blogs. . well its really my 1st time to read your articles here. .i know i cant visit this site, but u better send me the url's of each article of yours for me to visit on. . hehe. . gudluck with the bloggings! god bless. . take care always. . mark neil hir ^_^

neng 7 years ago

Sir!you make me cry.While i was reading it i remember my friends that i have left.I miss them a lot especially that i don't get to talk and see them.Sir,could you give me some advice about how to make new friends.i really don't know how to start.I'll start working on the 3rd or 4th week of this month and go to school next semester(sept.) and i really have no idea what to say and how to be friends with them.Its really hard especially that I am different,I'm a filipina and they are American.every time i think of it my heart starts to beat very fast and i'm nervous.please help me.give some pieces of advice that will help me.thank you.

Regards to my friends and to everyone.pls tell them that i love them and miss them..thanks.

have a good day and a wonderful start in 2010.:)

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

@ shamelabboush --- hehehe new hip..

@ Gemsong --- just be yourself and be the best friend you can be...

Thanks to the two of you for commenting and dropping by...

Gemsong profile image

Gemsong 7 years ago from Richmond, Virginia

Great hub, GH. Finding friends is always difficult for me. Keeping them even harder. :)

shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 7 years ago

No, don't say that! Your avatar is excellent too. I'm just following the trend nowadays on HP or I will be weired, like the black sheep :)

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Wow that is indeed a treat hehehe, nive avatar better than mine...

shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 7 years ago

I am a half-filipino now pal thanks to jacqui :) She feeds me chicken adobo and soy souce all the time hehehe She has an account if you wanna pay her a visit called bunchee.

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Weeeh shamelabboush is that you hehehe, sounds to me that the one that is making the reply is your Filipina I hope I'm correct if not hehehe probably you are already transformed into a Filipino... Thanks for dropping by and I really appreciate you dropping by...

shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 7 years ago

No 7 is the keyword here kuya. I think its essential to always listen to the other and try to be compassionate. I always feel tired of the person who talks and talks for hours and not giving you the chance to breathe or comment... Nice hub pal.

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Nyahahaha now your getting loose ha emievil, hmmm you're threading the path we're you'll going to get happy... Hmmm I see yummy treat in your avatar wakikik...

emievil profile image

emievil 7 years ago from Philippines

hehehe I know what you mean. Just had class this morning for my students' marketing plan presentation. That's why I already tendered my resignation for next semester. Want to concentrate in accounting and, of course, hubpages =).

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Yeah, quite but not yet contented in the number of my hubs... That's okay your ideas are indeed cutting edge, use your time well hehehe if you fell like not doing then don't anything, creative juices will spontaneously will surface in your mind if you are in good mood, thanks emievil for dropping by... hayz my latest hubs doesn't have any nice pix yet, my teaching time is indeed spreading my energy and time thin...

emievil profile image

emievil 7 years ago from Philippines

GH you seem to be in a roll =). 53 hubs already. *sigh* I wish I can follow suit but I seem to be floating for ideas. =)

GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines Author

Thanks too dale for dropping by and for the generous comment.

Dale Nelson profile image

Dale Nelson 7 years ago from South Africa

A great read.Thanks General.Tough to find someone with all of these qualitites in life.I'm happy with 50% of these.Nobodys perfect.

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