"How to Save Yourself From Domestic Violence"

"How To Save Your Self From domestic Violence"

Don't let Domestic violence rob you of life and  the happiness that you deseerve.
Don't let Domestic violence rob you of life and the happiness that you deseerve.

"How To Save Yourself From Domestic Violence"

I know quite a lot about domestic violence for the simple reason that I was a victim myself about thirty years ago. I'm telling you that it's not a good situation to be in. when you're young and foolish you make wrong choices and end up in a bad relationship, that put you in danger of physically hurt or worse. You also become mentally challenged too. each time you're attacked, you one if it's your last time and most victims are to afraid to do anything about it. When you're in a violent relationship, you should give someone an extra key to your home and important personal papers like, birth certificate, passports and anything else that would be important to you. In case you have to make a run for your life and that is a distinct possibility if you're with a loony tune. we are talking about a person that doesn't care about hurting you or even killing you.

When I went through my traumatic experience with my first husband, I learned that he was insanely jealous and wanted to control my goings and comings and who I was with at all times. He treated me like I was his kid, and not like an adult. Some of the madness I went along with to keep the peace to keep from physically fighting. A lot of the madness I didn't go along with so, I had to fight with him instead. after a while you get fed up with the constantly fighting and being called out your name and being physically and mentally abused. If you have enough courage and guts to start planning how to free yourself of the abuse and violence that you're going through. You must start to plan carefully and strategically on how to leave this person behind. You can never let the person know that you plan on leaving him or her because they could go into a rage and hurt or kill you, before you get a chance to leave. There are sick people out there that feel like if they can't have you, no one will.

So, keep all your plans to yourself unless you have one person that you can trust with your information. Also, you need to get in touch with the domestic violence shelter and they will help you make you move without the person ever knowing and always keep there number handy, where you can get to it right away. I want you know that you are not alone, there are many women, children and even men that go through domestic violence, so don't feel bad,because it happens to the best of us. The most important thing of all is to never give up, until youare free of your problem and you're able to breathe again without fear.

Benny Faye Douglass (C) Copyright 2011




More by this Author


Comments 22 comments

creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 4 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Hello, for your visit and comment, I'm sorry you went through domestic violence too. Happy new year to you and yours. Godspeed. creativeone59


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 4 years ago from London, UK

I am sorry to read that you had that experience. I too and it is horrible. Thank you for a well written hub.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Amen Pmccray, I applaud you, because I agree with everything that you said. God bless you dear. creativeone59


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you again Raymond, for your feedback and your visit. Any kind of a buse is a shame for anyone to endure. Godspeed. creativeone59


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you again teenboyproblems, for your visit, comment and support. I agree with you on all counts. Godspeed. creativeone59


teenboyproblems profile image

teenboyproblems 5 years ago from Nebraska

Good point Serena and pmc. Sorry, I just get a little angry on this subject. Abuse is abuse. Period. It doesn't matter what shape or form it comes in.


pmccray profile image

pmccray 5 years ago from Utah

Very important subject matter. What is scary is that with all the laws we have in place domestic abuse is still a cancer. The victim must leave at the first sign of abuse verbal or physical. You won't change him / her, your not equipped to make him / her better, your not alone. Get out and get out now it won't get better just worse. I know, been there done that. I'm a survivor and won't tolerate, being treated in this matter ever again. Love is not suppose to hurt and I can do bad all by myself!!!


Serena Gabriel 5 years ago

Teenboyproblems,

I've been watching this "Occupy" thing like a lot of people have. And, what amazes me is that after watching all of the police brutality, particularly that directed at women (stabbing their abdomens with truncheons, kicking a pregnant lady in the abdomen, pepper-spraying of innocents, even forcing this weaponized chemical down their mouths!) I am amazed that anyone would suggest that a victim of any kind of abuse - let alone rape or domestic abuse - should report it to the cops! Yet, every time there was a rape at one of the camps people (commentors at mainstream news sites) would get angry that the victim didn't report it to the same people who were largely responsible for the crime (because they sent the criminals into the camps, apparently - this was all over the web news). (By the way, you are never obligated to report a crime like this - and there are many reasons why you shouldn't!)

I sometimes feel like people who have not yet been victims of gigantic, hairy, violent men (many with badges) are living on a different planet from the rest of us.


teenboyproblems profile image

teenboyproblems 5 years ago from Nebraska

Yes, I agree. It is also a proven fact that police officers are more likely to be abusers than that of the people they arrest. They DO have programs for women whose husbands are police officers though.

Perhaps that is why the police weren't so eager to help me out. 911 calls took 45 minutes for a response. I had a protective order but the police never showed up in time to catch him. They couldn't do anything for him driving by my house because it was a public street or him being in the same grocery store as me, at the same time. PLUS, Victims Assistance is run off the police so that could be a problem for a police officers wife.

I left my husband and went to another state, before they had intrastate protective orders, my husband filed a missing persons report on me and the police in the other state told them EXACTLY where I was at because my protective order did not follow me to that state. (I helped change that law.)

To be honest, the police don't offer much help. Some of the police are abusers themselves. You just need to remember that and call them anyway. You need them to document the abuse for court. But wives of police officers don't have that luxury.

Abusers have you running scared in all directions. It was hard enough for me, I couldn't imagine the terror a woman whose husband is a police officer AND an abuser looking for me! All that information at his disposal? Not to mention the commraderee of the police force? That would be difficult. But nothing is impossible.


Raymond Tremain profile image

Raymond Tremain 5 years ago from Metro Manila Philippines

I just read what teenboyproblems has written she sure did what she felt was right for her, I used to move furniture yrs ago and I was asked to move a mother and children to another place , as she was a victim I took her miles away but her husband was a policeman within 2 weeks he found her, some can have peace some can't I give praise for teenboyproblems for her courage to do what she has done.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you SerenaG,for your visit and comment, I know exactly what you mean, an what you say is dead on. Godspeed. c reativeone59


Serena Gabriel 5 years ago

Good article and very interesting to read. How about this: The perpetrator leaves! People are always asking why the victim doesn't leave... How about the perp leaving! What if the perp is in your house? Now, you've got a problem and you've got to get him out. Unfortunately, reporting the problem to police frequently only escalates the violence... it shouldn't be this way, but it is.

Voted up and accolades.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you jayca,for your visit and appreciated feedback. Godspeed. creativeone59


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Mrslagibb, thank you so much for your visit and comment. I agree 100% with you. Godspeed. creativeone59


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Raymond for your visit and great advice, I appreciate you.Godpseed. creativeone59


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you TBP, for sharing yourm story with us, I think that you are very strong and courageous to do what you did to survive. May God keep you and yours safe and happy. God bless. creativeone59


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Roger, for your visit and your comment, I appreciate you. GHodspeed. creativeone59


Roger Baillargeon profile image

Roger Baillargeon 5 years ago from Quebec, Canada

Amazing hub Creative...thanks for sharing !

- Regards, Roger


teenboyproblems profile image

teenboyproblems 5 years ago from Nebraska

I agree. The only difference I made to get out was I NEVER TOLD A SOUL and just vanished. I didn't talk to my friends or family because he had threatened them before and they told him where I was at. If they had known where I was at this last time they would have told him. Not because they don't love me, just for the fact that he was persistent and threatening.

I closed my eyes and threw a dart at a map and went somewhere I had never went before or talked about, I never left a paper trail, never told my kids, never said goodbye to my friends, I just vanished. When I showed up in the town I immediately got ahold of a shelter and they hid me and my kids. I went to therapy there and they told me that I felt I needed to be punished, and that I self sacrificed myself because I felt guilty. That was my wake up call right there.

I had tried to leave 5 times and I messed up by telling a friend or family member and I always went back because my family begged me to because he would stalk them and chase them around.

So, this last time, to let them know I wasn't dead by him I went to a truck stop and asked a trucker to mail a letter 3 or 4 states away. I didn't talk to anyone for 2 years. It worked. That was the ONLY way I got rid of him. That was 8 years ago. I admire your strength. It takes a strong person to leave but takes a stronger person stay away. I would also suggest going to a church, like Catholic Charities, they paid my bus tickets to get away. Don't go to a close shelter either. They have a way of finding you. I went 1000 miles away from home. And I am still here.


Raymond Tremain profile image

Raymond Tremain 5 years ago from Metro Manila Philippines

Domestic violence, should be reported, because no one should have to live with that in the family,people become worse than animals, take a look do you ever see where your pets turn on each other as much as humans do?

A third party needs to be brought in to help those who are suffering, and even move away if it is needed until help comes for those who are doing it. BUT! prayer is the answer much prayer is needed.

God loves all


mrslagibb profile image

mrslagibb 5 years ago

This is precisely my point too. With an abused victim it makes them vunerable, to me this must show up in some kind of aura or something. Because some people pick up on it and think they can do exactly the same to the victim. ALL VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE SHOULD BE AWARE THEY ARE NOT ALONE AND SEEK SUPPORT IN SOMEONE WHO THEY CAN TRULY TRUST.


jayca profile image

jayca 5 years ago from kenya

i do agree with you that victims of domestic violence do need a carefully planned out strategy for leaving abusive relationsships

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working