How to Successfully Score a Date with a Southern Belle

This is today's southern belle

Charming, witty and a personality like 100,000 volts of electricity. She's a lot of fun on a date, but guys, take my warning: DO NOT TRY TO OWN HER. She is her own person.
Charming, witty and a personality like 100,000 volts of electricity. She's a lot of fun on a date, but guys, take my warning: DO NOT TRY TO OWN HER. She is her own person.

A southern (ms) belle of 2012

and in all probability, a CEO of some huge company in Vicksburg, Mississippi or Gulport. Look at the expression on her face. Cute-but-lethal and not to be pushed around.
and in all probability, a CEO of some huge company in Vicksburg, Mississippi or Gulport. Look at the expression on her face. Cute-but-lethal and not to be pushed around.

Here is another southern belle of 2012

Loves the outdoors, long walks on the creek bank and holding hands while changing the oil in her F-150 Ford pickup truck. No kidding. She can take care of herself.
Loves the outdoors, long walks on the creek bank and holding hands while changing the oil in her F-150 Ford pickup truck. No kidding. She can take care of herself.

This is a typical southern belle

Notice the pretty hoop skirt, parasol and fashionable hat? Be advised. This girl and those like her, helped to forge the south into the great land that she is today.
Notice the pretty hoop skirt, parasol and fashionable hat? Be advised. This girl and those like her, helped to forge the south into the great land that she is today.

More images of southern belles

This lively southern belle looks great in red and with her flimsy parasol, her wardrobe is complete for an evening of dancing, talking and eating sugar cookies.
This lively southern belle looks great in red and with her flimsy parasol, her wardrobe is complete for an evening of dancing, talking and eating sugar cookies.
Walking with her honey and a trusty parasol.
Walking with her honey and a trusty parasol.
Southern belles of olden times and even 2012 love to dance.
Southern belles of olden times and even 2012 love to dance.
Look and compare. Southern belle to left and modern southern belle to the right. Which girl is the prettiest?
Look and compare. Southern belle to left and modern southern belle to the right. Which girl is the prettiest?
Ahhh, the sun bonnet. A sure tip-off that this lady is a southern belle.
Ahhh, the sun bonnet. A sure tip-off that this lady is a southern belle.
Southern belles of 1945.
Southern belles of 1945.
This hot southern belle would have no trouble at all hitching a ride on any freight train.
This hot southern belle would have no trouble at all hitching a ride on any freight train.

Talked to a young man a few weeks ago

who was in his early twenties and he was very excited to tell me, as he and I drank our coffee, about the possibility of dating a real, true-blue, bona fine southern belle. And the boy was serious as the economy is bad. Really serious. So serious about his fascination with dating a girl from the deep south that Roseanne Barr could have walked through the restaurant where we were sitting and he would have jumped her for a date. In my many years of living, I've never met anyone with such a zeal for southern belles.

After we finished our coffee

and long talk about southern girls, he finally got into his 2011 Camry and drove away. Probably never see him again in this life. But I have to admit. I admire this boy's drive and determination to take one of our southern "lovelies" out for an evening of dancing, dining and some hand-holding the old-fashioned way. And I sincerely hope that one day soon, he actually meets and gets a date with his "dream girl," a southern-born, southern-bred, southern belle.

When I returned home that night

this guy's wide-eyed intensity about southern belles got me to thinking. Or maybe it was the six cups of black coffee. Either way, I sat down and composed this easy-to-use "hand book," if you will, about "How to Successfully Score a Date with a Southern Belle," and if this guy who was so crazy in-love with our women in the south, is reading this hub, the following segments of trusty advice is just for YOU:

Now, son, you have your heart set on dating a southern belle. Right? That's what I thought you said. Okay. Before you set out to attempt to get a date with one of our "flowers of beauty," the southern belle, there are some things you need to know.

  1. The southern belle is not like an average girl. She is a breed apart. Not to be trifled with. Run-over. Lied to. Or abused in any way. She is a lady down to the bone.
  2. The southern belle comes from a long, storied background of manners, respect, and devotion to family and tradition. She can be a no non-sense girl.
  3. The southern belle is not a breed of livestock to be bought or sold by unmannered men with tobacco juice soaked into their faces at a public auction behind some hardware store in Jackson, Mississippi.
  4. The southern belle is not a "dumb blond," brunette or red head. She is today's CEO, lawyer, head of industry, politics and power. Do not be fooled by that girlish smile and soft voice that coos, "thank you, sir," when shown some respect.
  5. The southern belle has a mind. A brain and can think for herself. Do not be an idiot and try to impress her with "your" brand of worldly-experience. She has already been there. Done that. And will be easily-bored if you are not "on your game."
  6. The southern belle is not a lady you can take for granted. She has this uncanny, sharp feminine sense that tells her you are just trying to use her for pleasure and then skip town. Yes, she's seen jerks like you before.

When approaching a southern belle, DO NOT

  1. Blurt out, "Hey, sugar! How's 'bout a date tonight?" She will only glance at you once. Walk away while laughing AT you. Not WITH you.
  2. "Act" like you need her to tell you directions to "Harry's Sausage Emporium," or the correct time. What are you, a shallow excuse for a man?
  3. Try to "sugar her up" with your rented car, your one silk suit and your teeth that the dentist has just cleaned that morning. How can you, or any other man, impress a girl whose heritage dates back to the early 1800's?
  4. Hand her empty compliments such as, "Hey, doll. I love your shoes." or "I bet if you raced against an apple pie, you would win for being the sweetest."
  5. Wink at her, whistle at her, or try to walk cool like guys do who are "on the prowl" today in 2012. What part of "lady" do you not understand?
  6. Be dishonest with this southern belle. The absolute worst thing you can do is let her catch you in a lie. Then it will be a sure-fire, blue ribbon-winning, "Goodbye, chump," and no hope of you getting a second chance with her.

If you are blessed to get to talk to this southern belle, DO NOT

  1. Talk as loud as a Marine drill instructor such as the one in "Full Metal Jacket." She can hear you. And her voice is soft and very silky. Try to talk to her the way she talks to you. Civil.
  2. Tell her vulgar, barroom jokes that only guys can appreciate. Contrary to social belief and writings on men's room walls, southern belles DO EXIST in 2012 and can be dated IF men like you can learn how to respect them as the ladies that they are.
  3. Disrespect her parents when you are introduced. None of this "Hey, daddio," or "Hello, mama," stuff or you will be sent packing. Before you have a chance to sit down.
  4. Disrespect her pet cat or dog. A pet is vitally-important to a southern belle. So show her pet all the respect possible. You will thank me later.
  5. Dominate the conversation with things just about "YOU." Ask her questions. Show her that you are interested in her. Ask her parents about their lives. Remember, the world does not revolve around you. And it never hurts to allow someone else to have the spotlight.
  6. Forget that you are to use manners. Let her go in front of you and that goes for her mother. Open the door for her. Yes, this is "old hat" for you, but man, will she ever appreciate your gallantry.

If you do get a date with a southern belle, DO NOT

  1. Show up in wrinkled clothes. No southern belle, or any girl I know, appreciates a first-date with a man in a wrinkled suit. This says to her that you do not care about how you look in public.
  2. Wear shoes without socks. This is a huge social blunder. And you will be sending a signal to her and her parents that you once supported the "flower children," "free love," and an open drug usage society. Bad mistake wearing shoes and no socks.
  3. Show up with crumbs or stains from your last meal still on your shirt. There is this neat invention that you can use to inspect your appearance. You might have heard of it. A mirror. Use it before you leave to meet her.
  4. Have "onion breath," or even worse, breath that smells like "feet." If you want a sure turn-off with your southern belle and suddenly have her say, "my stars, what a massive headache I have. I want to postpone our date, please," then do not use mouth wash. And that headache statement really means she doesn't want to see you or that breath again.
  5. Bring your good buddy, "Hal," with you on your first, or any date with this southern belle. It's not her problem that "Hal," is as homely as a Bluetick hound and cannot pay a girl to date him, so leave "Hal," at home with his mom.
  6. Smoke cigarettes, chew tobacco or even have smokeless tobacco in your mouth or car when you pick her up. FACT: southern belles in their origins, may have lived around tobacco patches, but they do not date them.

When dining with a southern belle, DO NOT

  1. Be selfish or self-absorbed and say something really ignorant like, "hey, would you give me the pepper first. My steak costs more than your salad." What kind of animal are you anyway? You are on a date with a true lady. Treat her like one. Is that too hard for you to do?
  2. Talk with your mouth full. What are you, a mule?
  3. Ignore what she is saying to you. Hang on her every word. No matter if there is an ex-playboy bunny sitting at the next table. You are a privileged man to be dating a southern belle. Can you at least try to remember that?
  4. Be distracted with the football game that is on the television over the bar in the restaurant. Who cares if you have $500.00 riding on this game? She doesn't. And you shouldn't take the Seattle Seahawks and the 7 points against the Pittsburgh Steelers.
  5. Allow your southern belle to rise from the table without you first getting up to help her with her chair. FACT: southern belles love this.
  6. Overly-compliment or be overly-sweet to your southern belle. She and her mother, grandmother and great, great grandmother were all about modesty and moderation. Learn the meaning of both words. And use them.

And finally, I leave you with these last-minute tips . . .

When driving your southern belle home, DO NOT

  1. Assume that she will invite you in for a night cap. It is her choice. And do not use those lame excuses like, "May I use your bathroom?" for she is as sly as a fox. She can read you like a cheap newspaper. Be cool is all I ask.
  2. Go on and on about your job, ex-girlfriends, and how much you make in sales commissions on unloading used luggage. She might want to tell you about her life. Ever think of that?
  3. Be pushy. Force yourself on her. Southern belles, well, all girls literally seethe with hatred at a guy acting like this.
  4. Suddenly want a drink of water to gain access to her home or apartment.
  5. Take the moment at her front door for granted that she wants you to kiss her good night. Simply shake her hand. This respectful move will make you a lot of major points with her. I promise.

. . .And make absolutely sure that your fly is not open at any time of the night.

Good luck, y'all.


I HATE TO BE A HARBINGER OF BAD NEWS

But places like this, farms and plantations

is where most southern belles in their early stages, were born and raised. Just imagine that this old, run-down barn and out buildings were once strong, stately and picturesque with a lovely farmer's daughter dressed in her finest walking with her boyfriend in the evening shade. Some mental photo, huh? But unlike this material building that has been destroyed by time, the southern belles are alive and well in 2012. And will always be with us. Thank God.

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Comments 33 comments

SJmorningsun25 4 years ago

Kenneth, you get me every time! Love this Hub. I may not be a "true" southern belle, but I agree with every one of your rules--they apply for ALL women!! All men should read this one. Voted up, funny, and awesome! And sharing. Thanks!!


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

The wise man said, "If you love Southern Women, raise your glass. If not, raise your standards.

Thanks for the tribute, friend.


collegatariat profile image

collegatariat 4 years ago

What a great, funny hub! I'm a southern belle transplant, but some things never change... or maybe the rules are just universal. Thanks for a good laugh or two.


dmop profile image

dmop 4 years ago from Cambridge City, IN

This is a great article with just the right amount of humor amongst the real issues at hand. Great job, voted up, and funny.


lovelife08 profile image

lovelife08 4 years ago from United States

Describes my family down to a T. Voted up.


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 4 years ago from Florida

Kenneth,

You really know a Southern Belle--- or any girl for that matter.

All women really want is a kind, respectful man who is not parsimonious with his time or money. When a man is then she knows right away he is also with his love.

I voted up and awesome.

Your Hub Friend,

Bobbi


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Another great Hub! Great advice for any guy wanting to date any woman! While some of your tips are right on target for the Southern Belle, all of your tips are right on target for all women. I always love the humorous side of your articles...you make them a pleasure to read.


picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

Well, well....I must say(as a Southern Belle from N.C.), your tips were spot on...but then, a man would fare well to use most of them with most any woman. You have a great sense of humor too. Vote up!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear SJMorningSun . . .Thank YOU from my heart for your encouraging comment. Why do you say that are may not be a "true" southern belle, when responding to hubs is one sure-fire sign that you do NOT just think of yourself. How about that? I think YOU ARE a true southern belle. And very honored to know you. Thanks too for your votes and the share.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Kathleen, thank you for your wonderful comment. Especially the part about 'raising your standards," a VERY TRUE slice of advice to ALL guys.

Take care and have a happy day!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

collegatariat, thanks for your sweet comment. I appreciate you taking time to write me about this hub. And there IS a tone of seriousness interwoved within the humor of this hub. I wish (some) guys I know in my hometown would treat their wives like a southern belle. I can only hope.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, dmop, thanks for YOUR comment on this hub also. I relish the various opinions given my people who read what I publish. I only wish for EVERYONE on this hub who commented, to have a peaceful, happy day!

And come again anytime!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

And a Warm Hello, lovelife . . .thank you for sharing your thoughts on this hub. I appreciate YOU so much. My OCD acted-up Sunday. Someone did an awful act of complacency: "drank only half a cold, icy glass of Coca-Cola, and left the rest." I started to let go of how wasterful this was, but the place was crowded, so I just let it go. This time.

Please visit with me anytime.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Bobbi!

Truth be known, I'd much rather keep company with a southern belle for I am very rural. I get nervous around females from other places besides the south. That is my bad. But I do have a healthy respect for ALL women for it was a woman who bore God's son.

Thanks, Bobbi, for your lovely comment.

Have a great day!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

DEAREST catgypsy,

"Thank you so MUCH, for your sweet and caring comments." I value YOU and all of My Followers whose words keep me sane and caring about my life. YOU do not and cannot fathom just how MUCH I Appreciate YOU and all the friends I have been blessed with over the past 11 months. I wish I could take you all out for a steak dinner with the trimmings.

One day, maybe with the revenue shares, I will.

Take care and say hello to Heidi also.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear picklesandrufus,

Thank YOU for your nice and lovely comments. I feel better now. And you are from North Carolina? Wow, that is southern belle country. Go Tar heels, right?

You come back and visit anytime you like.

Kenneth


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Wouldn't it be great to be able to gather all the Hubbers together for a huge get together?

Heidi says hi!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, dearest catgypsy . . .a FANTASTIC Idea! But in what place, the New Orleans Super Dome? Hey, Id love that. Talk about a Super TailGate party? Hotdogs, ribs, burgers, hotwings. Do you need my help in arraging this once-in-a-lifetime event?

Kenneth

and Hi to Heidi!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

It would be fun, wouldn't it? Maybe someday!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

catgypsy . . .a LOT of FUN! We could contact the Guinness World Records people to apply for entrance into their next World Record releases. Wow! "Man eats 8 jumbo cheeseburgers, five orders of fries and three jumbo vanilla milkshakes at Hub Members Party deemed The Biggest gathering since Woodstock!" The man doing the eating would be me.

Thanks for a great idea.

Kenneth


Kenneth Avery 3 years ago

Hi, fellow hubber, myself.

This is just a test of my own doing's to see if a hub comment will be kicked back to my own Yahoo address.

Oh and nice hub, Kenneth.


Southern Cali 3 years ago

Wow, that last part with picture seriously choked me up!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Southern Cali,

Very nice to meet you and thank you so much for your sweet comment.

You may not realize it, but writing about southern belles is tough, but a sweet challenge.

Hey, if you aren't following me, I cordially extend this invitation to you to follow me. That way, we could share hub ideas . . .for I need a lot of help.


Tim Heaton profile image

Tim Heaton 21 months ago from Morristown, New Jersey

My sons, who were raised in New Jersey, are at the age where they’re asking for tips on meeting Southern girls. My advice is usually, “Why don’t you start with something easier, like getting accepted to Harvard.” Still, I can’t help but admire their ambition — they’ve apparently done some reconnoiter at the Grove.

There are a lot of dos, but only two don’ts that you will not recover from:

Save your Jeff Foxworthy jokes, et al, for the Jersey shore. Southern isn’t Redneck.

Likewise with your Southern accent. You sound like an idiot. I can’t even do it.

Southern girls are just like other girls, only just a little more so. Here is a short list of the dos:

Always open doors.

Always offer to pay.

Always push in / pull out her seat.

Always stand when she enters / exits a room.

Always remember that behind that sweet façade is a young lady that can field dress a deer, be nice.


T.P. 19 months ago

Im so sorry, I didn't realize that a lady was descended from heaven and to be treated like a vase made of fine crystal. I apologize for ever thinking it was appropriate to glance in your direction or breathe your air. God forbid I ever tried to talk to you.

Ok really though, this is just a bunch of stuff not to do. I could name a million things not to do to a woman, one of them being to tar and feather myself and squawk like a bird. Not doing that won't make her want to go out with me. So yeah, this post is of no use to a man.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 19 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Tim,

Hey, thanks for the comment. I admit that some of your remarks I did not grasp. The one about southern girls being like other girls, well, I hate to be a troublemaker, but no they are not. I have known and been around southern girls for years and there is just something about southern girls that moves my spirit. I am not bashing northern girls . . .I am going to belt out "California Girls" now. Or girls of the west and east. I guess it all comes down to those you know the best.

And tell your sons to just be gentlemanly as possible. One myth I want to dismiss about southern girls is that they are NOT all tomboys, but fine ladies.

Deal?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 19 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

T.P..

Is your comment aimed at me or Tim?

You can talk to me all you want. And yes, I think women should be respected MORE than a crystal vase or the Hope Diamond.

Did you try to talk to Tim and he ignored you? This is the first time I have heard of you.

And if you are angry with me about something, just "spill the beans," and we can fix it.

Thanks for your input.


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 19 months ago from Florida

Kenneth,

These are scammers---delete them---I had 12 at one time--even now I still find them on different hubs. When I see a guest visitor I always check my hubs to make sure they are not these people who like to play tricks.

There is a way to stop it----and I swear I cannot remember how I did it. Ask on a forum.

Have a nice day and don't let the Turkey land on your last nerve.

Your friend,

Bobbi Purvis


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 19 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

May 1, 8:40 p.m., cdst

My Dear Friend, Bobbi,

With all due respect, what would I do without you? By the way, where have you been? I was thinking about you last week in fact. Are you okay?

Thanks for the tip about scammers. Not many people, men included, would have stepped in to help me. God bless you.

And if and when you and I ever meet, I will buy you a dinner of your choice! I promise. Great friends like YOU have to be from God.

Kenneth


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 19 months ago from Florida

Hi,

I always look out for my Hub-friends. I have been working on my 13 Blogs and some on editing on HubPages.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Bobbi Purvis


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 19 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

12:59 a.m., Sunday

Dearest Bobbi,

You are a genuine GOOD friend to me. I hope that I can be as good to you as you have me.

I will do the same for you--look out for you too.

Have a blessed weekend.

Kenneth


suraj punjabi profile image

suraj punjabi 5 months ago from jakarta

those dos and donts should for approaching/dating any women, not just Southern Belles. Women, any women, deserves to be treated with respect and that guidline you just set up needs to be implemented towards any belle. great article on How To Successfully Score a Date with a Belle.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, suraj punjabi,

Thank you so much for your very good comment that made me know that this hub was well worth the publishing.

You can write me anytime.

Peace to you and yours.

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