Few tips to get accepted and become best Daughter in Law.
Tips to get settled and live a happy married life
Getting married and living happily is every girls dreams. But have you ever thought why ones a girl is engaged or the marriage day is fixed she starts getting panic or tensed. Why is she stuck with too many questions and gets worried. The only answer for such kind of behavior is that she thinks,"will she get the same love and affection which she receives from her parents", "Will the new family accept and welcome her whole heartedly". It's a natural human tendency and if you are one of those girls, here is something for you which will help you to fulfill your dream of living happy married life.
When I got engaged same thoughts were rolling in my mind and then I asked myself, "Is it that difficult or impossible" and I got an answer as "No". I feel nothing is impossible ,if u have a strong will to achieve something no one can ever stop you. And always remember, like you all the other human beings are just hungry for love,respect etc.
Its been 2yrs and today I am living a happy married life with my husband,2 beautiful twin daughters and very loving and supportive in laws. They are very understanding and I get the same place as my husband has in our family. I am a part of the group who take important decisions in our family.The journey was not that easy,you need to sacrifice,compromise and let go many things to reach at this place.
I would like to share few tips which helped me to adjust myself and get the love and affection from my in laws.
Here we go :
Few things before getting married :
- The first thing you need to do once you get engaged is know your spouse as much as you can. Try to communicate with him and know what type of relation he shares with his family members.
- Once you start understanding him,the next step would be to talk more about his family members. Such as his parents,siblings etc. Try to know about them,what they like,dislike etc.
- Once you are aware and know about the family members it will really help you a lot to adjust in that family.
These were the things you need to remember before you get married but your real work starts once you get married and are actually a part of that family.
Remember these key words:
1) Learn: I do understand every girls parents teach as much as they can to their daughters from childhood but still you also need to understand that every house has a different way of working,so before doing any work try to ask your mother or sister in law about their way of doing that work,specially when it comes to cooking, stand beside your mother in law or sister in law and observe how they are cooking. Try to take few tips and use them when you are cooking in the kitchen. It will be really helpful to cook food of their taste.
2) Patience : The second most important thing which every girl should have is "Patience". There might be times when you did some mistake or few things went wrong and you might have to listen some harsh words from your in laws. So here your patience will help you,just be patient and listen quietly to them because it was your mistake. But sometimes you might not be at fault and still you have listen from them,its a difficult thing, but again you need to be patient and be quiet. I will explain you how it will helpful.
a) If it wasn't your mistake and you were quiet, they will soon realize that they did a wrong thing in scolding you and will think twice before telling you anything next time.
b) But when you were at fault assure them that you will not repeat the same mistake again. This will not only help you personally but will also make your in laws realize that you have the ability to improve yourself and will start building a good relation with you.
3) Sacrifices and Compromises : Life is full of sacrifices and compromises. You have to compromise at each and every level of life. And its not a bad thing. Its helpful because sometimes compromising or sacrificing for few important things can bring you near to your dear ones. So learn to compromise and sacrifice.
4) Loving and respecting your in-laws : Its true that no one can take your parents place but why don't we think that our husband's parents are also like our parents. Even they need the same love and respect which we give to our parents. So try behaving same way with your Father and Mother in law the way you behave with our own mother and father. Trust me if do this, sooner or later they will realize it and give you more love than they receive from you.
5) Accept and think "Its my home and family" : Reduce talking about your parents house in front of your in laws and start relating yourself with them.Always think that now this is my family and house and you have to give your best to keep them and yourself happy.
6) Be friends with the kids, try to share your thoughts if you have any younger sister in law or brother in law. Treat them as your younger brother or sister. Talking to them and sharing thoughts will create a very good relation between you and them.
7) Last but not the least,winning your in laws heart is important but keep in mind that during this process you are not neglecting your husband. If yes,than stop doing that. You are a part of that family is just because of your husband. So try to keep him happy as well. Build your relation with trust,understanding,love and care.
One most important thing: Never complain about anyone to your husband. Never discuss any negative thing about his family with him. If incase you felt bad for anything told by any of your in laws never let it reach till your husband. This way you will never mix both this relations and this will never hamper your relation with any of these.
As I said nothing is impossible. So If you try working on these easy tips you will really be happy. All the Best.