How to be Happy for Your Ex When He Has a New Girlfriend
Listen to this song while you read. It'll be a full hub experience!!!
It's your worst nightmare. Not only did you suffer a horrific break up and spend the past few weeks fluctuating between sobbing and throwing things at your wall/TV/computer, but now your ex has gone and found someone new. How in the world are you supposed to see him around town and smile happily at him and his new beau?
Aside from relocation to another country (which is super inconvenient), here are some tips on how to be happy for your ex once he finds someone new:
Simple and Complete Avoidance (at the very least, in person)
The easiest way to be happy for your ex is from a distance. If you're not in the same vicinity, you can put on your veil of "Good for you, I don't care", without having to stare him straight in the eyes and attempt to fake an emotionless expression when he tells you he's moved on to someone new. Even a phone conversation is better than seeing him in person. The further the distance away from him, the easier it will be for you to move on and one day not want to trip his new girlfriend when she's walking down the stairs wearing 5 inch heels.
Bad at avoiding people? Here are some suggestions on where to start:
- Change grocery stores, banks, dry cleaners, coffee shops, anywhere you think your ex might show up. It's these pesky every day locations that you end up running into people you don't want to see.
- Check his Facebook/Twitter/etc. if you know you're going somewhere he likes to go (i.e. bar, club, other fun outing type place). This sounds stalkerish, but you can avoid an awkward encounter if you see that he's planning an outing to said place on the same night you're planning on being there. If his profile is private and you can't see it, find a friend of his who has a public profile. It's amazing what you can find...I'm not the only one who's noticed this, right? I'm not an internet stalker, I swear.
- Wear a wig. Get glasses. Change everything about your appearance so he won't recognize you. Ok I'm kidding. That would be crazy.
"Fake It Til You Make It"
If these techniques haven't worked and you end up running into your ex, fake it. "Fake it til you make it" usually refers to your future fabulous career, but it can be used in various situations, such as how you feel about yourself, and being happy for your ex. Pretend that you're happy for him, put on your best brave face, and one day you'll find that you don't have to pretend anymore. This sounds silly, but it actually works.
Avoid his Facebook/Twitter/social media anything
Looking at his Facebook/Twitter/blog/whatever will only make matters worse. Don't torture yourself by scanning for pictures of your ex and his new girl or finding someone who's friends with her on Facebook so you can see what your ex writes on her wall. If you really want to be happy for your ex, you've got to let go of the past. And it's impossible to do that when you're intertwined with your ex's future with his new girl.
Find Someone New Yourself
Living well is the best revenge. It's one of my favorite sayings, and it's also 100% true. Start dating again yourself (but only when you're ready). Don't rush into a new relationship--find somebody cute and have a few fun dates. If you're concentrating on a new someone, it'll be easier to be happy for your ex and his new beau...or even better, not worry about what he's doing at all.
The Focus is Moving On, Not What He's Doing
This is the most important part. Keep most of your focus on yourself and make yourself happy. It doesn't matter what he's doing in the long run or who he's dating. He's ex, remember? Move on with your life day by day, until your life is uber fabulous again and you're not thinking about him anymore.
More by this Author
Codependence is like a leech. It starts slowly, stealing every other one of your weekends, and continues to suck you dry until every single day is consumed by your codependent relationship. Perhaps you always end up...
Breakups are the worst invention in the history of man. Nobody enjoys them. We yell, then we cry, eat 6 gallons of mint chocolate chip ice cream by ourselves, watch anti-men movies like Thelma and Louise, and refuse to...
I'll admit it. It's embarrassing, but my friends and I are karaoke junkies. It wasn't always this way. We would karaoke every now and then, for something different to do. Now, we crave it. We make lists of songs to sing...