How to be a Good Wife to Your Husband - 12 Qualities a Man Looks for in His Woman

Qualities of a Good Wife

Every man wants a good wife. In turn, many will often advise a new bride to be a good wife to her new husband. What does this mean, exactly? What are the makings of a good or perfect wife? Most of these qualities are already present in a woman, while the rest can be learned or developed.

In India, the qualities of a good wife or the six noble virtues an ideal wife should have are summed up in the verse from Neethisaram: "Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni"

Below in this article, find 12 tips on being a good wife.

How to Be a Good Wife: Keeping the Man Happy

I am a film believer that what you give is what you get in return as far as human behavior is concerned. So if you are a good wife to your husband and treat him right, he will cherish, love, and nurture you in return.

Want to know how to keep your husband happy? Here are 12 qualities a man looks for in his wife.

  1. Be pleasant. As mentioned already, we should treat others the way we want to be treated. That being said, never be rude to your husband, family, and friends. Try to be warm, kind, positive, understanding, and friendly. Actively work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be that person who lashes out at others because you had a bad day. Welcome your husband with a smile when he comes home. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face, and a neat and clean appearance. Listen to him talk about his day, especially if it was a difficult one. If you don't like how your partner treats you, take a minute to observe how you treat your partner and try correct your behavior.
  2. Treat him with respect. If you expect respect from others. we need to treat others in return with respect too. Haven’t we all heard "Give respect and take respect?" Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving way and refrain from speaking in a harsh manner. A good wife respects her hubby. She never chooses to belittle, strike, humiliate, or otherwise harm him in private or in public. It is better to watch what you say and think before speaking, as it is not possible to take back the words once they are said. A good wife will treat her man with respect in front of others and at home.
  3. Communicate. Communication is the key to a good and solid marriage. Do not hide things or keep secrets from your husband. Be honest. Find time to sit and talk with him on a daily basis, even if it is for only half an hour. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your husband, then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but allow him to talk first. Don't greet him with complaints and problems the moment he comes back from work. Good communication also helps to build trust and strengthen your relationship. The wife and husband are a team or partners. Do not make any major decisions about the family without consulting with husband. Fights or problems may happen, but do not let the world know about it. Rather, you should try to solve it between yourselves as partners. The fight you had last week over shopping or whatever is over and done with. So try to move on with it and stop rehashing the past and reminding him of his faults. Do not resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes, or anything else when you lose your temper. If you do, he may actually start to fall out of love with you and you could lose him all together. Always communicate with words and a calm mind. Breathe before you decide to act on your temper.
  4. Be supportive. A husband expects his wife’s support and understanding, especially in troubled. A good wife loves her hubby for his successes and failures, and provides reassurance when he's feeling down. She is a nurturer and an equal partner in the marriage. Support him in all stages of his career and life. Do not belittle your man or hurt his ego. It is often said that "a wife can make or break a man." There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him or belittle him, especially in front of others. Be proud of him on his accomplishments and genuinely compliment him. You can then expect him to behave in return in the same manner and also respect you more for your support and thoughtfulness. If you don’t agree with him, respectfully let him know you don’t agree with a healthy conversation.
  5. Do not nag. No man likes a nagging wife. Ask him nicely. Many wives think that nagging is the only way to get her husband to do things. The truth is that your nagging can create an unwanted rift, or can make things worse between the two of you. Your husband is a grown man with his own thoughts and desires. Just because you think he should be doing something particular doesn't mean he has to do it.
  6. Give him his space. As a wife, it's important to understand that your husband has a life that's more than you. He has a family, friends, and colleagues who are also part of his life. He also may have hobbies and passions he is involved in. Don’t expect his undivided attention at all times. Don’t stop him if he wants to go out and hang out with his friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or sport that he likes. An interfering wife can sometimes be very irritating.
  7. Keep him happy in bed. Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any marriage. When you please your man, he will be obliged to please you in return. Please your man in bed. If you cannot keep your man happy in bed, he may go where he can get it elsewhere. After all, a man is a man! According to research, one major reason why men cheat is mostly physical, whereas for a woman it is emotional.
  8. Plan surprises. Men like surprises too. It can be anything, from organizing his birthday party without him knowing about it or planning a special night of passion by playing a seductress. Your surprises do not have to be elaborate and can be as simple as making him his favorite snack or any of his favorite dishes once in a while, even if you would rather eat something else.
  9. Express your love and appreciation often. Men likes praises and appreciation. Make the most of your time together. Men like to hear the words "I love you" too. Also, try to join him in activities that he's interested in, even if you prefer to do something else. Give him a thoughtful gift once in a while. Make it a point never to forget the special days in his life. Pamper him often, especially when he is home. You can cook for him or give him a massage. Making him dependent on you by doing his chores when he is at home is not a bad idea either. Let him miss you and think about you when you are not around. These gestures won’t go unnoticed, and it may even inspire him to do something nice for you. Don't withhold affection.
  10. Be honest, loyal, and dedicated. A good wife is honest, loyal, and dedicated to her husband. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and the vows you have taken at the time of marriage should be kept up at all times.
  11. Keep up your health and appearance. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face, and a neat and clean appearance. Take special care of your appearance, not just for him but for yourself. Include exercises or yoga in your daily routine to stay healthy. Be hygienic. Some woman feel that once they are married why they should dress up or take care of their appearance — this isn't true, and if you do it you should also do it because it makes yourself feel good too and that makes your husband happy also. A man also likes his wife to smell good. If you are unhealthy or not presentable, your man may start looking elsewhere.
  12. Maintain the house. Maintain a clean house all the time. Clear away the clutter and spend time decorating the house. Apart from this, be wise with money and take all the responsibilities of a wife seriously without complaining too much.

Do you want a good husband who will love and cherish you? Then treat him exactly the way you want him to treat you. If you want your husband to treat you like a queen, you should treat him like a king. In this modern world where most wives also work, the above advice may not be fully practical. But at least some effort can be put into exercising these tips in practice. If you are working, you may want to hire a maid to take care of the household chores of cooking, cleaning, and so forth.

I am sure any man would be happy to get a good wife with all the above-listed qualities. Also, I have some advice for the men who were overjoyed seeing this article. Remember: Marriage is a two-way street, there are two people in this relationship, and you have to play your role as well if you expect your wife to be an ideal one.

Have I left anything out? Please feel free to add comments.

WORLD'S BEST WIFE | A Good Wife

This is the plight of most women who are married and also have children. The least a husband could do is appreciate her efforts.
This is the plight of most women who are married and also have children. The least a husband could do is appreciate her efforts.

© 2009 Anamika S

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Comments 318 comments

Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah Demander 8 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

These are all great tips.

Thanks for writing.

Namaste


C.V.Rajan profile image

C.V.Rajan 23 months ago from Kerala, India

Really very useful writing.


Dominicka 2 years ago

Thank you sooooo much for this article. Im going to marry an indian guy and i love him madly too much. But we had a lot of fights because of differences. Im so happy to read your article, so I can be his best wife. I really appreciate whatever you have written.


rashmirjois 3 years ago

Anamika ,

Thank You So Much for the article.Your article is really precious conveying beautiful thoughts , I pray that God Bless You With Your Heart's Content...

Whenever I get angry on Mom in law and husband ,I come and read this article , I feel really good and relieved ... This article has been something like God has itself come down to console me ... :)


sharingknowledge profile image

sharingknowledge 3 years ago from Miami, FL

This is Cool. I am glad that the author must be a woman and hoping that women will have some good thing to learn. As a husband, I really liked this Hub and have to say that THANK YOU.


Ranjeet30 4 years ago

Excellent! I liked the above article and wish pray to the almighty god to get a wife with all the above qualities.I surely will who'll be my life partner till end.


birdman1969 profile image

birdman1969 4 years ago from Nashville, TN

Your article is ABSOLUTE truth and your are a very blessed woman to know this. I wish I could find a woman who believes in these truths and I would be the happiest man on Earth!


savisachu 4 years ago

it gives lot of confidence and inner peace when we read this article, though many things we know we really don't put to work..i will try to work out all these exercise...


dochus 4 years ago

my wife spits at my face


Debra50 4 years ago from Coos Bay

Marriage can be great.You have to get to know each other first before,you get married.Your likes,dislikes,turn-ons or turn-offs.Communication is the key.Our looks and bodies will change as we get older it's a part of life for men or women.I've always said Love, Honor ...Negotiate. Being a Faithful Wife or Husband is important.Choose your Husband or Wife wisely your happiness depends on it.


iamindian 4 years ago

this article is primitive


Malik Asjid Ali 4 years ago

its really a good information for newly couple


yayaa 4 years ago

This is a very good information.by reading this i have come to aware that im not being a good wife.im really thankful for the the writer and may god bless her.she gave me the advice im in need of most.thankyou very much.


qamar 4 years ago

is very good knowledge


Megan 4 years ago

I really like this article. I want to be able to surprise my man as much as possible, and do things that keeps him on his toes. Being together as long as we have its hard sometimes to do that. So thanks-


manish kothari 4 years ago

i hope you will find the way to go in more deep towards this subject doing good, keep it up!


Only Two Issues 4 years ago

#1 In the good husband list I don't see an equivalent prepare yourself with a warning your wife may cheat on you behind you back if you don't do this.

Some wifes consider attraction important and even lose sexual desire because their husbands aren't preparing themselves.

#2 The please him sexually and he's obliged to please you too seems like glorified prostitution if you're not talking about please him sexually & he's obligated to please you sexually.

It's telling that how you state if you can't please your man happy with sex or if you lose your looks by being unhealthy or not presentable he may cheat as he's a man.

To me that's quite a low depiction of men you have here concerning their loyalty and respect for marital vows. Some men do consider possibilities other than adultery if they're not getting the sexual intimacy they want-

#1 leave

divorce

#2 counsel

they may find out what problems in the marriage have led to the couple growing apart in other ways than sexually, which may make them want to be more sexually intimate

#3 communicate

the husband finding out how his own behavior is putting his wife off sex with him

This please him or he'll cheat because he's a man makes it seem as if sex isn't some shared pleasant experience but some obligated duty done to fulfill a need. It seems more like rather than having sex with your wife it's about having sex with your wife's body. Or rather sex with a female body as if the body is interchangeable since he'll cheat if she's not pleasing him.


Jackson 4 years ago

For those who are opposed the tenets of the article, please read the qualities of a good husband by the same author. As many of you have pointed out, it as matter of give and take. However the give and take has to start from somewhere. Without such information many will fail to take advantage of the changing circumstances in relationship and even confuse the good will extended to them as some form of manipulation and fail to give in even where it is required thinking that such a behaviour condemns them to slavery. Let us allow ourselves to be accurate thinkers rather than emotional reactionaries.


nomsa 4 years ago

those are the roots, we grew up knowing that a man should be respected regardless of what he has, but now we have too much rights even to disrespect our husband. thanks for the lovely article we needed to hear that!!!


LadyWolf25 4 years ago

Some of these qualities are very good and gave me some good ideas how to improve on my marriage. However, I have tried many of these things since I was raised in the belief that a wife catered to her family first. However I must emphasize that there are some selfish men out there that will take advantage of their wives if shown such pampering. I work a 10 hour day and I'm gone from the house for nearly 12 hrs a day, granted my husband is too but there isn't much time to communicate like suggested above. Sometimes it is very hard to do any of the things listed above and I've found I've been breaking my back lately to try and make our marriage better and it has just been getting worse. I'm getting blamed for our bad communication and things that are logical in my mind don't make sense to him and we get in fights. So let me tell you ladies: marriage is hard work and sometimes spending all your spare time pampering your husband may not pay off in turn. If he isn't returning favors and blaming you for things and making you feel like you don't know anything and your logic is skewed he's not worth your time. You deserve better.


QueenOfTheHouse profile image

QueenOfTheHouse 4 years ago from Northern Virginia

What a wonderful hub on a very important topic!


Dibyasikha dhir samant 4 years ago

Thank u very much. i love it and excellent advice.


roshni 4 years ago

good article...but who the hell says...if u don't give it to him..he's bound to get it somewhere else???...that is utter crap..you're talkin marriage for BOTH!...not loyalty for one..get your facts right!


cheryl 4 years ago

Hi!!!im cheryl I read from your site tips on how to become a good wife. . .Im too younger to become a wife. . .Hopefully this could help me motivate and keep relationship last. . . thanks. . . can you send me other tips from my account on facebook. . .Cheryl Paliga.


dorcas 4 years ago

This is good information that will help most women improve on their marriages.


cozycath 4 years ago

I'm very glad AND HAPPY THAT ALL THIS COMMENT COMING FROM A WIFE LIKE ME.BUT IN MY CASE HOW CAN I BE A GOOD WIFE to MY HUSBAND If he IS NOT HERE BESIDE me.I KNOW OUR COMMUNICATION WAS THROUGH SKYPE AND THERE's no days that we haven't talk or if he can't talk to me in skype bec. there's no internet he will call me in my cp. I'm so happy even we are far

from each other we know that our communication will be there always.But sometimes I feel confused what if he did something like having affair to someone how would I know?I found out in a facebook he had someone beside him a girl he told to me it was just a friend how will I know if it is a friend if almost all his picture to that girl is there and the bag of the girl is with him he said he put something on her bag is it that excuse or they have an affair, I fell confused right now I don't know if I will agree to his explanation pls. help me what will I do?


Lynn 4 years ago

Coming from someone who grew up in the US and am currently in the UK, I'm quite frankly appalled at the so claimed "modern, western, women" These traits are indeed relevant in today's society. I agree with all of the points you have made and I don't understand how these women can be offended by you suggesting that it is respectable to respect your husband. Who can argue that respect is a bad thing? Yes, I recognise that many women have less conventional roles within the marriage. But so many of these self-proclaimed feminists condemn those of us who still believe in being loyal to our husbands and taking care of them any way that we can. I don't understand those who wouldn't want to do anything they can to make their partner happy or criticise those who do. I am not stuck in the past, I am not enslaved by my husband, and I am a strong, intelligent, young women. But I am also loyal to my husband and care for him so much I do everything I can to make him comfortable and happy. In return, he respects and admires me and treats me as though I'm a princess.


Anon 4 years ago

Feminista: Obvious feminist is obvious. So what, taking care of your man and putting effort into being a good wife is sexist or something? Get the hell back in the kitchen, scrub a few dishes and think about what you did.


Feminista 4 years ago

Thanks for sending us back to the 1930s. You've inspired me to give up my right to vote.


Married 5yrs 4 years ago

I too agree with the person who wrote this article, its not that all blame is put on women or that women have to work extra hard to make things work, its because God made women emotionally stronger than man and women can endure a lot ie(childbirth). All good things starts with a women, men need direction and guidance and thats were we come in, they need pictures drawn for them, they don't know things on instinct as we do. If you look at the Biblical times, this is how couples were then and today, we want to make excuses,like this is modern times, if we all could be like the women in biblical times, our marriages would last a lifetime and not 2-5-10 yrs and then you divorce, its very rare that you find couples who are till death do us part. Just take on your role sincerley and you will see, your man will take your lead and if you do have a good man, it will be better and for those who feel there men will never change, because they are who or what they are, then you not praying hard enough, you are not living with God, because like the saying goes,a family that prays together stays together and even the worst of people can reform. Thanks to the one who wrote this for sharing. Take care and God Bless.


Enzo 4 years ago

I find some comments here very foolish and daft. working or not working. it is just an advice on how to treat each other. The fact that one is a working wife does not mean she cannot treat her husband with respect. a lot of women on here condemning the article. i bet you, few years down the line you will live in regret or unhappiness because your husband cheated on you or walked out. That is the problem of the world today, no sense of morality or respect. And as she has stated, there is one written for men also, and as far as I can understand, there is nothing in this article that stops a working lady to act appriopriately. Face it, treating people with respect does not mean you will be taken for a mug. and the western culture has promoted celebrity garbage for so long you fail to realise that the recipy for a broken home is to do opposite of what is written here. It is so shocking that you think this cannot be done because of work or other thing. This article promotes good moral and treating others how you want to be treated. I would really love to see the home or marriage of those comdemning the article and especially that lady that said she know how to find a man and keep him. wonder how many men have you been finding?


priya 4 years ago

This is very nice and good advice to all womens.


RITAH. 4 years ago

In indeed i didn't know some but now i have known . Thanks a lot its really good GOD bless u dear.


Sumeet Singh 4 years ago

Well I read your article it's quite appealing and good. But I want your advice on something. As if wife behavior towards me was good she loved me cared for me. Recently she had a trip to India and she has totally changed. She nags me irritates me whatever I say she goes opposite to it help.


Pari 4 years ago

Seriously? If this is the kind of advice you're going to give men, what ever happened to 'treating a woman with respect, and being there for her when she needs you?' Forget the US, your article is not even applicable to the current Indian scenario! From what I know, women in India are now expected to work, make the bucks, look after kids, and deal with flak from the in-laws. Being a woman yourself, I think you should stop sending the wrong signal to men out there -- advocate respect toward women and mutual trust and understanding. A woman is allowed to have a bad day too and her man should be there for her. Not somewhere else cheating with another woman!


uma 4 years ago

Thank you ANAMIKA..this is very helpful to me,as i want to be a good wife to my Hubby...Thank you so much ANAMIKA..I LIKE THIS ARTICLE..


Fiker 4 years ago

I really loved your advices. I do agree that all of them work well. I love my husband and I want to see him happy. I'll try all and see surprising changes.


Dorothy 4 years ago

All the men must be smiling after reading this! Not a bad recipe for a good marriage if the man is also a good husband, it takes two in marriage remember?


Sabrina 4 years ago

Wow !! I guess this would work for a woman living in Iran or something. Where I am from women have an education and careers. I have never had any issue finding or keeping a man. I am very independent though...I don't really need a man to be happy. The men I know are attracted to independent women. I know a girl who resembles this article and she is miserable . She can't find or keep a man. All her boyfriends treat her like a doormat. I am happily married and my husband treats me like a person ...not a maid or a slave. You could learn a lot from western women.


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 4 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

@Sharon Indians give so much value to relationships that even now you would see the joint family systems where all family members stay under the same roof amicably.Thanks for the visit and comment.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Hi Anamika ~ although I realize you are writing from your experience with Indian culture, everything here is important for any loving relationship to grow. For many years, I have been friends with business associates who are of Indian culture here in the states. I have always admired this couple for their respect of each other and their entire families. Family comes first, period. A couple summers ago, I attended the graduation party of their eldest son. I learned even more about the culture by attending this event. I was amazed and I even loved the music too.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

Although I am Christian, Your words are wise indeed. A man is a man is a man. Most men have the same needs, wants and desires no matter the culture. I believe this to be a great hub for two people who are important to each other and who have a healthy relationship.


ROKGame 4 years ago

As a married man I think this article is very appealing to the ideals of marriage as a male would see it. With that said I do not think these are descriptive but prescriptive in that they can enhance the compliemntary nature of marriage. Marriage is a life project. Perfect spouses do not get married, but marriage molds the perfect spouse. I also do not think this applies to the worse case-scenario (abuse, affairs, etc) category of this as those areas require more than just lifestyle adjustments but serious third party intervention.


Vern 4 years ago

Face it... Men simply cheat. Not ALL men, but those who do, simply do. It doesn't matter if they're fully sextisfied at home, they still do.

How many men who have read this article went on to read "How to be a good husband" and learnt even ONE aspect of it? Not many I reckon.

I am the sole breadwinner and I still do all the chores, try to look my best, try to be sweet... but he plays computer games all day, takes money from me, verbally abuses me, disrespects me, CHEATS ON ME and refuses to look for a job. I offer him my help in fixing up his CV and getting him a job, but he takes it as an insult? He promised to stop cheating but he still hasn't...

After all this time I've started feeling that loving him is a big mistake. HIS mother thinks I have pampered him TOO MUCH. I blame it on my soft hearted-ness that I still haven't stepped out the door..


Nahid 4 years ago

Awsme mam!


benita 4 years ago

Looking for a proposal this year


Saloni 4 years ago

Ewwww

How backward are we? Imagine- My husband divorced me because I didn't clean the house!


Jen 4 years ago

Nice tips but it helps most when both respect and love each other. The husband should make his wife equally happy too!!! Marriage takes two to make it work.


Pradeep 4 years ago

As some of us have already pointed out, the man should also subject himself to a set of rules to build a happy marriage/family. We must not overlook the context and possible deeper meanings:

1. If a woman is looking for a happy marriage and successful family, then this article provides some time-tested tools. Just because the article focuses on tips for a wife/woman, we can't jump to the conclusion that the author thinks men are free to do what they wish. The author just chose to focus on highlighting the tools women have.

2. Saying that men should equally and automatically share responsibilities without having to be told, is somewhat ideal and does not recognize reality or human nature. It's similar to saying employees have to fulfill all their responsibilities just because they're being paid a base salary. While some employees may do well regardless of reward, most of us expect additional incentives for motivation. Hence companies/managers use potential promotions, bonuses, pay hikes, etc. as tools to motivate their employees and bring out the best in them. A smart woman, first recognizes that she is or needs to be the manager of the home, and then identifies and uses the set of tools available to her to bring out the best in her man and family.

3. A good manager realizes that his/her primary responsibility is to identify the needs of the team, and to help it reach its potential. The manager can choose to simply focus on self-advancement, do nothing to help team members grow and reach maximum potential, and throw a fit when expectations are not met - by doing this, the manager may become individually successful, but usually doesn't bode well for the team, and certainly can't be called a "good manager." If the wife's goal is marriage/family success, then she may choose to use tools listed here to get her closer to the goal.

4. Happiness usually involves struggle, pleasure doesn't. Learning to apply soft skills is always big challenge. Anybody who's truly good with soft skills, must consider themselves lucky, and that person may already be happy at home. For the vast majority of us, it's a struggle. So trying to manage another person of different make up (man vs. woman, different family background, different interests and goals) is definitely more than a struggle. The tips here are tools to make the struggle manageable, and will hopefully bring happiness. Also, while the wife keeps at it, if the husband has been bad, he might begin to realize it and make his own amends. If the husband has already been good, he may get better, and family can focus on better things.


sara 4 years ago

This was a good hub, can you add something else? my husband doesn't like to go outside with me.


Anyanwu Bright 4 years ago

I agree with ur article loaded with educative info, u most be a kind of person every understanding partner is looking out for. U are a blessing to this generation, keep it up & God bless u.


SAI OBODAI 4 years ago

IN DEED EVERY GIRL WHO WANTS TO BE A GOOD WIFE MUST KNOW ALL THESE FACTS.


suneethab 4 years ago

It was very good,i felt that it has bee written for me it's very use full to me becoz I'm newly marriaged.few things like nagging and feeling that i want undevided attention form him,i really forgot that he also has family & frind his entrest,It was good leason for me sorely i will follow this .thank u once again.


macy 4 years ago

thank very much i love it..)


Monique Vsand 4 years ago

Does this work for women in the 21st century? Seriously?


meg 4 years ago

thanks for posting this.We married women sometimes forget this. This will always remind me to be a good wife. Bookmarked!


Melvin ( India ) 4 years ago

Trust me. If every woman had even half of these qualities, the would would have been a lot peaceful.


andrew 4 years ago

this is good to read especially to teenagers...


somebody else 4 years ago

those are very good qualities, and for those who disagree, you're missing the point. don't get the wrong idea that you women are forced to be like that. you have to do it sincerely. plus, in a relationship,both men and women should give and 'give' actually. give without expectations. because in an ideal relationship where both sides are giving, then both shall eventually receive. this is not slavery to women, it is just a guide. men to should work hard. just don't misunderstand things.


lovely me 4 years ago

i love these tips it may actually work ..most people forget how to treat their hubby


Michael 4 years ago

I'm very happy to hear this. I've read it because i want to save my relationship and my fiancé is great, but she lacks a couple of things. It interesting that you mention the importance of respect. I honor and cherish her, but she lacks a couple of these tips. I too will take these values and apply them with her. I'm just needing for her to mature to this why of being for our union. Take care and I hope to read more of your articles.


Nicky 4 years ago

I m a girl 20 yrs old from a typical Indian background. Going 2 b married nd wanted 2 b a gd wife nd so visitd d site.

Bt now totally confused.

Bt as per my Indian senses say, she is 90% true.

Nd those commentors plz don't discourage Indian values nd our rich culture


betty faith 4 years ago

This is indeed the key a woman should hold thigh to achieve a lasting relationship...thanks for those words.


praying for u... 4 years ago

I was commenting on the original article of what a "good wife is". I too have a wonderful husband and he would never expect me to be the type of "servant" this article implies a good wife should be.


happily_married 4 years ago

This is complete garbagage. Any healthy and happy relationship is based on mutual love and respect! My husband does not expect me to simply take care of him! And I do not expect him to be a bread winner! We do things for each other because we love and care for each other! We both have full time jobs and other responsibilities outside of marriage, but marriage is a partnership. I love and appreciate my husband and everything he does for me, just as he loves and respects me. We are best friends and love each other as we are! I wouldn't change anything about our relationship! And men will be men?! Really?!?! So it is perfectly acceptable for a man to be unfaithful? This article puts all blame on the wife! PARTNERSHIP!!! Does not work that way. Two people are either compatible or they aren't. No amount of compliments, pampering, or pleasing your man in bed will make a bad relationship work. This advice is completely impractical.


chose_poorly 4 years ago

Married to a woman who can't keep a home, spends most of her free time watching videos on her iphone or laptop, and is now almost devoid of passion. Choose your wife wisely. It may feel good and even chivalrous taking care of her during courtship and early in your relationship, but it will only lead to resentment in the future.


Respecturman 4 years ago

Commenting on "Praying for you" was that for this column or what you read above your post that would have been mine?

Also, I do not know yours. A Good Husband is my husband. If you want a list I will give it too you. If you didn't mean to speak to me than I am sorry. But she has a lot of good things to say but I think it does need to be clarified a bit because some men can really push this thing and demand respect. Which is wrong. So some men might read this and say see I told you. we need to be adults and really find out what kind of relationship we are getting in our lives and our children depend on it. But we do need to pray and have faith that our God will give us strength. Being in a lifelong relationship is hard and it is not a laughing matter. We need to stop pointing fingers like little kids and face up to what we are doing I have to do it everyday it's a part of growing up. Its life,its sacrifice and its hard. But the benefits are worth it.

I have been married 12 years have two kids with my husband he is ex military 2 deployments. I have probably cryed and prayed myself to sleep for half of it. But we are going strong.

Peace be with you.


Praying for you... 4 years ago

So sad that you feel that's what a good wife is. It says a lot about you and how you see yourself. Can you please tell me what you think a "Good Husband" is? Very interested in knowing your ideas on that one considering what I've just read. Thanks.


maryam 4 years ago

i appriciate all d advice.but in a case where your fiancy is disturbed by another girl,d girl is always calling is cell phone aways.what would you do?are you going to live him or what.


:) 4 years ago

No man or woman has the right to cheat on their partner… and both partners should treat each other with respect and be “pleasant.” A man is not an animal driven by instincts he can control himself…


Little Miss 5 years ago

"You may have a dozen important things to tell him but allow him to talk first."

The only part I take issue with. Just because your husband is a man doesn't mean that he is saying is more important.


hdfhgf 5 years ago

Although a lot of this is true... please, the part about a man will go get it somewhere else? No point in marrying that man. Is this dumb as rocks or something? It's the same with men. Their not going to marry a cheating women. Holy smokes...


Amarpreet kaur 5 years ago

Good Article Keep writing and make others life pleasant this is a noble cause God Blessings for u.


Emily 5 years ago

I am shocked a woman wrote this. I am last in line to sing, "I am woman, hear me roar," but this one snippet: "If you cannot keep your man happy in bed he would go where he can get it. After all, a man is a man!" was pretty shocking.

If a man feels the need to go where he can get it, by all means, please... GO! I would rather be a single cat lady than have a man I am forced to have sex with out of fear that I'll be thrown to the side. You are essentially saying that's the only thing a woman is good for... why else would he stick around?

If that's how you'd like to live your life, go for it. But I demand a lot more respect than that!


Rowena 5 years ago

Was this written in 1950s ?


hannah 5 years ago

Feeling hopeful thanks to ur article!


lucia 5 years ago

This is disgusting - This is the problem with men today, they expect the world and treat their women terribly


MANAV 5 years ago

Anamika ji,

Please donot take negative responses seriously. People who are Indians and Who believe in the Indian Culture will actually believe in this. This is no Slavery, this aint any naiveness. It's just the ancient Indian culture which has helped the Indians to prove the world what the essence of woman is !!!

Such a wonderful environment is seen with my parents. My mother looks towards my Father like God. My father has even proved himself to be the God of my family. I only wish I were like my Father in terms of getting a GOOD WIFE, and leading a PEACEFUL LIFE.

But alas, every man doesn't have the luck to get such a woman.

It's a common saying that "BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN THERE IS A WOMAN", Definitely if the woman is like as is said then the man would be living in peace and he would be successful.

But if the woman sticks to her urge to get equal or more status than the man in her house then I wonder what's gonna happen with that man. In today's world such woman are rarely to be found, hence the men are endangered if they are looking for a happy married life. An unsatisfied woman can never be a good homemaker. The men now a days face great challenges in getting a good job, then again for getting good increaments and then for good promotions why so??? because they want to earn more to keep their family happy. Now when he returns home after the day long tiredness and he finds his housewife quarreling with him for equality then the relationship starts distorting.

I request every women in India to please follow the indian culture. That is the only thing why the world cares about us !!! The western nations are in fact trying to possess more of our culture in them the reason being they want to save their families from getting distorted. But what we are doing is just trying to be absurd with our culture and criticise it and damage our environment.

Please people donot ever think about such things. Let the man take the pain of earning. You take very good care of his house, be his and this is the best way you actually can support him, by giving him peace of mind.


MANAV 5 years ago

Anamika ji whatever you have written if those are your thoughts then I think ther person who you marry will be the World's Luckiest Person. Many women wont agree to this and many may state it as Slavery, but the bottom line is women not abiding by what you have written do face a broken marriage.

My wife doesn't do even a single of these things.

1. She doesnot secure by secrets, conveys everything to her mom.

2. She doesnot respect my mom and quarrals with her every time.

3. I like playing computer games but she doesnot allow me to touch my laptop at home.

4. She always keeps nagging me for petty things after I return from the office at night.

5. Her mother getting know every secret from our house comes to our house and has an arrogant quarral with my mom regarding everything.

6. She cooks only rice without dal, and I have to cook the curry and dal for her after I return from office at night.

7. She never lets me sleep in peace, disturbs me at night by singing songs till she feels asleep.

8. She doesn't like to communicate with my friends or family friends.

9. She is always rough with her behavior and she and her her mother wants me to leave my parents and look after her family(her maternal family).

10. She never washes any clothes or never takes care of the house. I have to do it on sundays. Things are kept on the bed and the space below the bed is always choked with trash, polythenes, bottles etc.

11. The kitchen is no good than a horse stable.

12. I return from office, cook food, serve it, wash dishes and then go to bed, she'll be quarreling with me for an hour, then she'll be forcing me to talk to her nicely after all that and then if I am lucky I can have sex with her.

My life has become pathetic, she dropped my child without asking me, I cannot keep her nor tolerate her, but due to the completely biased INDIAN LAWS I am bound to bend before her because she can cause great damage to me without any proof, and I cannot even charge her for something without concrete proof.

I am giving a good thought to commit suicide. Please keep looking the news channels to find out what happened to me.

with lots of respect,

MANAV


WHAT? 5 years ago

ummmm.......is it 1940? I actually have an article from the 40's that sounds just like this. It was sent to me as a gag! Any women that waits on her husband like this and never concentrates on anything other then pleasing him is crazy! A marriage is made up of TWO people and both should be equally responsible for upholding it and making one another happy! Don't we women deserve respect, thoughtfulness, love, and devotion. If my man ran off and cheated on me because I didn't clean the house or always greet him with a smile, basically be his slave....then I'd have to say he was a POS and i deserve better!


Younglove20 5 years ago

This is a great article! I have been married to my hubby for 10 years. We married when we were 20 years old. As an American woman we are taught to stand up and keep our man in line. So most of us do that with arrogance, forcefulness, and pride. Your loving advice seems so natural ad polite. Why don we ever think to actually do what the bible teaches is about marriage. We have certainly lost our way. I love this article and the one about being a good husband. It certainly comes down to treat your husband like a king, and he will treat you like a queen. Everyone will be happy! :) thank you!

Oh and you are very right to say 'A man is a man' if you arent giving him what he needs in the bedroom he will desire it elsewhere. Plain and simple. That doesn't mean all men are dirtbags, or that you need to perform on command, it simply means be attentive to his sexual desires (which you should have investigated prior to marriage) and give home what you know he likes/wants. Too many if us withhold sex as a punishment or form of control. It's not right, and we will eventually get what he needs, if not from you, from someone else.

Thank you! My hubby will appreciate this article!


Adelaide 5 years ago

I think every single wife needs to read this, and its an individual decision on what to take. Personnaly, it has strengthened and enlightens my ways! So, so beautifully so, thank you! Being a good wife, makes your man a good husband coz part of being a good wife, is praying for your husband. Thanks again!


you 5 years ago

this is absolutely ridiculous!

Point 7 - so if you are married and he isn't satisfied he will go elsewhere? Do you not have any clue about marriage and just go cheat on your wife?

This is absolutely absurb and you may want to listen to some of the comments on here and perhaps edit this whole section and welcome yourself in to the real world where marriage is about equality!


me 5 years ago

A husband s do his part or the wife will find another man to spend all het time on


Not real marriage advice 5 years ago

The way to be a good wife is to be a good person and marry a good man. There is no trick or key or traits. If both people are good people who communicate and are honest the marriage will work. Life isn't as simple as this article or the few points it lists.


khushboo 5 years ago

anamika u r telling true but i have done this all but my life is still bad he don't loves me always taunt me i m in great trouble plz help me iwant his love and attention


khollyyyyyyyyyy 5 years ago

thanxs a lot im working toward of rebuilding my marrage


paul 5 years ago

my wife is so boring and uninteresting! what my wife can do for me is leave me alone. don't talk to me just don't bother me.


Swetie 5 years ago

from today i am going to change myself for my sweet husband he is so sweet actully soooo sweet i love him very much . i love you sunny


Dave 5 years ago

This is my Girlfriend and soon to be my wife. She is everything you describe and more. I am so thankful for her. I was writing a paper on this subject and in doing research I came across this website. There is allot of good info there. One thing I do know is we are who we are. If these traits don't come naturally, then even though they try to act this way at first. Who they are naturally will come out eventually. After many years of dating, in & out of relationships. I finally found a wonderful woman. The funny thing is I've known her for 27 yrs, I just never thought she'd date me. Let alone marry me. She felt the same about me. Thank God we figured it out.


WONDERINGWHY 5 years ago

You can do all of these wonderful things but get no results if you're with an unappreciative,self-centered manipulator


Amanda 5 years ago

Sounds like a man wrote this !!!


Lsmith 5 years ago

Good grief. This puts all the responsibility of keeping a happy marriage on the wife. What about the husband's responsibility? Are we back in the 1940s?


round 2 5 years ago

This is very informative as a guideline for newlyweds, this doesn't work 100% in the real world. Not when you have both parties working full-time jobs, children, and other obligations. I do not particularly agree with the title "How to be a Good Wife to your Husband - 12 Qualities Men look for..." These qualities should pertain to both men and women. I was married to a man for 9 years before we decided to have our first child. In those 9 years, I pampered him and did everything and then some of what you mentioned in your article; but that wasn't enough (I was young and naïve). He got to where he expected these things no matter what I was involved in. We were inseparable, did everything together; until we had our child. My husband was very jealous of other men and then of our child when he was born. He wouldn't spend quality time with him and would get aggravated when I was tending to our child instead of meeting giving him my undivided attention. So before my child turned 2 years old, he had an affair with a co-worker and I divorced him immediately. He then married this woman (who was also married with a child) and they have had affairs on each other and are miserable in their marriage. Before the divorce was final, I told him that he would regret the affair because once the excitement of the new relationship is gone and the everyday life of working, taking care of children, keeping up with household chores (indoor & outdoor), paying bills and so on, he will look back and regret this because I was a DARN good wife...and guess what, the idiot actually agreed with me and said "I probably will"! So in my situation, it was just a fling, because those most famous words "Everybody else was doing it".

Now, Anamika, please explain how a man had the majority of the qualities you mentioned here and still had an affair with an unattractive woman who did not cook, clean and was very flirtatious with men. I was totally the opposite, I did cooked even made his plate and took it to him, cleaned, we still had intimacy, I took care of my child, worked a full-time job, took care of myself (wore a size 5/6) and did not go anywhere with the girls unless it was with him as couples.

So all I have to say is that when women are GOOD to their husbands, their husbands start to get too comfortable and forget their role to be good to THEIR wives. They start to expect these things and forget that they have some obligations to fulfill as well. So I am very astonished that someone with your intellect Anamika, would make a statement of " After all, a Man is a man!"


student4life 5 years ago

Marriage is all about equality. Blessed are those who treat each other equally with love and respect, because only that marriage will stand the test of time. For example, if a man wants his wife to treat his mother well, he needs to ensure that his mother treats his wife with respect too. Money, beauty and health will all diminish or vanish as we age. Only true love will be there as we get older for companionship. There is nothing worse than incompatibility in a relationship that tears people apart.


Ebune Ede Grace 5 years ago

You are a wonderful woman,all woman in this world need this to make marriage a better institution an enjoyable,thanks


Dagrun 5 years ago

This is absurd. Your husband may as well just get a maid. You're pathetic and you should be ashamed of yourself. Those slave women who live the way you recommend are miserable and you are are obviously one of them.


Haha 5 years ago

All these should be how to make yourself happy! For a women to do these things for her husband is such crap. First off, take care of your apperance for yourself, and yoga, not to please someone you're married to. Always being pleasant, what? Umm, what if you are having a rough day, why be pleasant, or if you are being treated bad by your husband don't be pleasant, be who you are at any given moment, and don't change yourself to please another. There are plenty of other potential husbands out there who don't have such high standards when it comes to marrying another HUMAN Being.


nEyth 5 years ago

tnx to u..it will help me a lot..im so sure about it. it's a big help..really..


ramyababu 5 years ago

chanceless... wonderful article... keep going dr


THANKS! 5 years ago

This is wonderful and to all complaining about what about the man?? hehe this is not how to be a good husband.. ofc husband has to do stuff too.. but i think women and men are different.. and has to appreciate each other.. I hope women will stop divorce.. they do it all the time.. and i don't think its fair or any good.. maybe some times.. but not always like it is now..


Nicolette 5 years ago

This only works if the man offers the same in relationship. Especially in Western lifestyle because unlike India or other cultures, us American women have to wrok as much as the men. We no longer have the gift of being stay home wifes where we can focus our lives around the man. Therefore we often experience the same issues as a man does like long hard work days and etc. Not to say this is not useful advice but it is not always possible to center our worlds around hubbys issues lifestyle etc in this modern society. It would be too idealistic. The way to make a relationship work is easy, love, patience, respect and understanding. But it has to come from both people.


Nicolette 5 years ago

One word... S.L.A.V.E... is what men want us women to be.


nannabelle 5 years ago

omg this is me!!! guess thats why im married :)


Jill 5 years ago

This is one of the most nauseating articles I've ever read. This is 2011, isn't it? Time to take off your apron ladies and realize your husband will only be treated this way if he reciprocates. This is the reason why women put up with abusive husbands...shame on you!


Jenny 5 years ago

Its wonderful coz whatever the case where there is respect and love, everything will work out, unfortunately am 25 and haven't got the man to share this with, but thank you for this lovely article, Here in Uganda people use it often, that is why our relationships are longlasting until death do us part.


Realitycheck 5 years ago

blah blah blah. I thought this article was a waste of my time. Try using some wit or flare in your writing if you want readers to stay conscious. Instead you just bang on and on about 1950s style marriage.


wow 5 years ago

I can't believe this article.Someone sent it to me so I can see for myself what is out there.You did give"some" good advice, but be real! Some stuff you said, about if you don't do this things your men will go somewhere else...what?Basically you are teaching woman if a men cheats is all their fault? I have been married for almost 3 decades and I tell you this,all woman needs to know their value.They are all special creation of God, not created to serve and to pleasure anyone. when a men cheats is not because of anyone or anything , is all because of themselves, selfishness and immaturity and personal issues.

I came from a family where my father adores my mother with all his heart, sometimes annoying to watch and my mother never cooked or clean or handed any service to my father.They both have their individual lives and they share it together and everything else they share it, they had 6 girls and they did everything together.Much respect between them,I never ever seen them mad or disrespectful to each other.They have been married for 62 yrs, my mother now is sick, she lost her memory, he adores her even more and takes care of her.

You do not know about love or relationship. You should not post stuff like you did.I guess your husband must treat you like a door mat and it works for you guys, and I am sure he has cheated on you and made you believe it was your fault for not satisfying him or pleased him or smelled bad one day.It is so sad sister to know you feel that way.Get out of that...this is 2011.

Woman now work and support families, they go to school and get educated and have high positions of leadership in this world.If a woman stay home full time to raise the kids, doesn't mean that she still should be treated that way, and she should only do it because it was her choice supported by her spouse.

Get real!!!!

The dog days are over!!!

Being a mother of 4 has been a blessing, being a wife another huge blessing, keeping my husband happy is not my responsibility, but his to make himself happy.also my responsibility to make myself happy, that comes just by being grateful for life, for each other and for not finding fault in another, but giving kindness and understanding always. that way, we are both understood and are happy together sharing our lives in harmony....not in perfection...trials come to strengthen our souls.Excepting people the way they are and not expect them to change or do something to make you happy, that will come naturally if you are both happy.


Aija 5 years ago

Can you please tell me how to be a good husband? Or is it really that a woman should give up all her hobbies and interests just to please a man?


womanindia 5 years ago

How to communicate with a husband who is not interested in talking/looking at his wife?

Whatever i speak my husband just finds some mistake and demotivates me by criticizing. He just want to suppress me.

SO I also avoid talking to him.. as I know If i go and talk he will will spoil my mood.

Every relation is mutual. If he is not inerested what I can do?


Madite 5 years ago

for those who do not understand, men have also such a list, so don't think about this being so sexist, men also have almost the same list,

for example pleasing a man in bed, for women and pleasing a woman in bed is for men - the same things for both, just the fact that both have to try their best for each others, also if your man is cheating on you, its because you are either not worthy of him, or it maybe that he is a playboy (whose only interest is in sex), but then he would not be in long-term relationships to begin with, that leaves you being the root of all problems


just a little confused 5 years ago

I just don't understand how this qualifies for every girl... what about those who have jobs? there is no way she can keep a clean house all the time... also what about pleasing... i think a lot of this goes both ways. you cant just say ways to keep your husband happy especially these days when there is so much a women does. She isn't just a stay at home mother anymore, she is a mother, a worker, a wife and much much more. I think you should have went in a way where is was focused on husband and wife as partners not just focusing on the women.


juliet 5 years ago

the good wives know everything what husband need in or outside the house...if your husband have a business meeting in other place ,you have to please him what he needs help him to think what he wants about the stuff that he won't forgot anything before he left, like suits ,neckties ,shirts,jeans,shoes ,socks,sleeper,towel,razor,nail cutter,jail,perfume,watch,boxer shorts,perfumes,and papers for work.... not all those stuff a husband can remember so you have to guide him ask what he needs more, a man like their wives smell their sweat kissed him all over even his gross you just giving them a proof for your real love and honor to your husband..give him a sweet smile in the morning instead of kissing her lips to greet him in the morning start to kiss him in his eyes...be with sense of humors sometimes husband likes to heard a jokes from wife even silly but they can't stop their self not to smile ...husband's doesn't need their wives with make up they like most simple but neat look ...

it's my suggestion and your tips it's very useful for every woman like who like's to be a perfect wife and keep their husband away from temptation in outside...


colleen O'hara 5 years ago

I am studying socoiology at A level and we have just been learning about family and relationships. we concluded that in the past, this is how women were expected to behave but society has moved on now, our norms and values have changed and while this is not the case in some cultures, i do believe that this way is rather sexist against women. It implys that it is the womans fault if a man is not happy. it also implys that women are lesser than men and men should come first. Marrige is supposed to be a partenership, the couple are supposed to work together but here it describes a woman as being almost a servent to her husband. surely the man must consider how his wife feel once in a while? does she not deserve a nice massage too? after all, she does do all the hard work.


UnknOwn14 5 years ago

..perfect..thumbs up..reli reli like ur article..;-)


jimbob 5 years ago

Every wife/girlfriend should take this advice.

As a male these are the exact general things I would look for in a potential girlfriend/wife (There are other things I would look for but they are all personalized to me).

I especially like 2,3,4,7 and 8

To any girlfriend or wife. If you do all of these are your partner isn't completely happy and treating you lovingly dump him because there will be plenty of other amazing guys out there for you


HappyWife 5 years ago

I agree with MamaSeta too! The nicer I am towards my hubsband, the more he goes out of his way to do nice things for me. Also, intimacy is very important. I notice a huge difference in my husbands attitude when his intimate needs are met. I feel better too! I agree that a wife should keep in shape as best as possible and defiantly not nag to him or the children. There are no excuses unless there is a thyroid, heart disease, or diabetes problem of this sort to maintain a healthy weight. I'm physically disabled from a neck injury and I still manage to keep myself at a normal weight.


MamaSeta 5 years ago

I completely agree with everything in your hub. I am a SAH mom, and after ten years of marriage, I have discovered that how I behave can change how my husband reacts and behaves toward me. It simply does not work as well the other way artound. Women are complicated. Men are pretty simple. Women have to use their feminine wiles; One- because our men LOVE it! and Two- 90% of the time, we can sweetly get what we want from our husbands. A woman cannot expect her man to put her on a pedestal when she is out of shape, lazy, mean, nagging, sloppy, etc... Keep yourself to the standards you had when you were dating him, and as long as you chose a kind, decent man, he WILL put you on a pedestal. Here is the good husband's guide, in my opinion: Always say, "Yes, Dear." A man knows that if his wife is a bitch, and he doesn't do what she says, he is in deep sh*t & won't get sex or good food. If his wife is sweet and adorable, cooks for him and has sex with him, he is more than happy to say "Yes, Dear!" A happy, well cared for husband is an attentive, affectionate husband. Women who treat their husbands worse than the dog and expect him to jump at her every command make me so mad. Both husband and wife: Be sweet. Apologize when you have done something wrong. Keep your health and appearance up. Treat one another with respect. Flirt and keep up the sexual relationship. It isn't rocket science!


Mahiman 5 years ago

Thanx for the hubs, my wife have all things. I m happy with my life partner.


JackDanny 5 years ago

Total crap. And to 'kentjax' - excuse me but that is not true. every girl i've been with has a beautiful attitude, is generous and is slim and slender - independent women are not independent to their husbands. None of my previous girlfriends nagged me or complained or disrespected me or my house, and my wife is the most perfect person in my life. I think you just need to sort yourself out, then your wife wont nag you as much. ciao.


kentjax 5 years ago

Wow, excellent advice. Too bad Western women are stubborn, shellfish, overweight and independent. I would love to have a wife with these traits. My wife nags, whines, complains, and is like a sister then a wife. I treat here well and respect her and provide very well' but unfortunately not the same for me. iI think India is calling my name.


Rosemary 5 years ago

good article. But why do you blame the looks of the wife for making the bubby cheat?? If he cheats he is a bad hubby, and it is his fault completely. And who says that all women stay at home? If a woman is working She is in no way responsible to keep the house clean. or if she has kids, she might have her hands to full to clean the house.


Wifewhoadoreshusband 5 years ago

Great article! To have a wonderful happy successful marriage that both husband and wife treat each other this way. My husband goes out of his way to meet my needs, which in return I do the same. I've been married for 11 years and both my husband and I are very much in love with each other. We both keep a positive attitude daily and we smile at each other a lot. There is no nagging and I do thank my husband for the things he does for me often. In return, he goes out of his way to make me even happier. Marriage is about respect, communication, trust and meeting each other needs.


Kitty 5 years ago

I totally agree with your article. I am from Southeast Asia and have been married for 12 years. I was amazed when I first read your article and found that I do more or less everything your said. The result? My husband loves me profoundly and 12 years seem like yesterday. We are still falling in love to each other. Fact.

I am an old school woman and i don't believe in equality between the two sexes. I, instead, believe in different roles we have to play. If you do the best in your roles, naturally you will have a happy successful relationship with your partner (unless he has social disorder or mental illness). Why not start with trying to think of what to give and not always what to receive first.


-LhinG- 5 years ago

wow! this is truly amazing! thank you so much for posting it...i know i can be like this...God bless! (",)


Beginner 5 years ago

Excellent Article !!! I think its very essential for both husbands and wives to show each other love and respect.Menespecially need to feel respected.


rosika profile image

rosika 5 years ago

i totally accept that this is a good article, however all the men who is reading this article should keep in mind that as much as women try to please their husband by doing things for them, husband should pay back by doing the same to their wife...all the wife or the partner of the world requires love, care, respect from their husband; they want their man to be clean and tidy and helpful. Most of the time when wife don't get back what they were doing for their man, they gradually lose their trust in concept of love and then gradually the feeling of love disappears for their husband and where there is no love there comes no respect, frustration, anger, annoyance and finally separation!


angrygirl 5 years ago

you got to be kidding me.. i am indian and even i am not so stupid..where did you get this from?? its so degrading..it makes me want to throw up..all the men who r reading this..if this is what you expect your wives to do..you should be ashamed of calling yourselves men of the 20th century!!


EqualRights 5 years ago

This has one of the most degrading article on "Womanhood" I have see. My husbands loves me even I had a long run in the kitchen and sweat is pouring off me.I don't have to smell pleasant or look beautiful all the time, because we love each and understand each other and thats the best thing in the world.Be your husbands best friend, not a perfumed slave.He will get bored of ur intellectual capablity soon.I am an Indian , a south indian where it is a maternal hierarchy not a paternal or feudal one.We women are educated, efficient and equal.


Wife 5 years ago

I totally agree with Anamika. Its not about Indian wife or American wife. These qualities if practiced can not only save your marriage but create a very loving and healthy relationship and foundations especially for newly married couples. I am saying this from my experience. I used to blame and argue with my husband for every little things. Used to get upset and stopped talking to him when we used to meet after our work in evening. I did not realized how much this frustrated him and so he could not show his love to me and used to argue in frustration. I was not mature at that time and slowly realized what mistake I was making and flaw in my attitude which was always negative and to question my husband instead of looking into my own attitude which was negative. I realized (and thanks to GOD) that negative attitude breeds negative attitude of others towards you similarly a positive attitude breeds a positive atmosphere and attitude of others including husband towards us. So all I want to suggest women from my experiences please try doing this and you will see the change sooner than you will expect. If you think this is slavery or maintain negative thoughts and start with equality in mind you will fail. You will be treated with equality by your partner and he will start caring & loving you you more than you would have imagined if you start with positive attitude and practice these qualities mentioned by Anamika and you know what you will feel healthy in mind, body and spirit. Women please take responsibility of building a loving and healthy relationship with your partner or spouse, concentrate on your part of responsibility and rest will fall in place. Believe me, its from my experience. But please do this with sincerity and unconditionally in your mind, then see the magic. And Yes this can be done by working women like me. Who says this is only for housewife. Its about positive attitude in your personality. Please try if you are having trouble in marriage. That's my advise and Thanks Anamika once again. I become so emotional and wrote this long message just so that its helps other women who may be suffering in their relationship and wondering and cursing their fate unnecessarily. Hope this helps...Cheers we women need to realize our potential to make difference with the power of positive attitude.


Lisa 5 years ago

Hi Anamika, Great one to start it all over again. We have been fighting with each other for the past few days. I was feeling i lost it all somewhwere.. now found out.... thanks for that... Btw, are you sure any indian woman could have these qualities... i am an keralite... sometimes i feel i am not indian anymore :-)


Ananymous 5 years ago

Lovely and great article..every wife has to read this..


Sania 5 years ago

Excellent..! Keep it up! :)


F again 5 years ago

And furthermore, men should treat women with RESPECT too!

Also, the woman you have pictured is very dull and dense. The style of wife today is witty, charming, kind, AND she stands up for herself and demands the respect she DESERVES(!).... She's not a freaking emotionless robot.


anonymous 5 years ago

All these are applicable only when your working is hardworking husband and not hardly working husband who sits and eats at wife's earnings and still expect more to be money making machine. non sense. wife sometimes are expcted to earn, take care of business for long terms since you don't have job security, part-time jobs, cook, take care of the kids, spend for households, and take care of the husband too just because he was married to us. bull.


Asma 5 years ago

Thanks for a such beautiful message.Really a good article..Every woman should follow this for their healthy relationship..Actually i attempt sucide because of misunderstanding with my husband i always complain my husband for his fault now i feel very guilty that i am not at all a good wife..now i will change my thoughts as mentioned in the article...thanz for the great article....


Denise 5 years ago

What a bunch of BS! I am an equal, not a robot ready to bow down and smile, speak gently and pleasure him! If he wants to cheat, I'll be the first to show Him the way to the door!


tinkerbell 5 years ago

its a good article, but shouldn't this go for man as well, it goes both ways,its not just up to the wife to make a good marriage.I say it takes both of them to make good marriage,its team work,respecting each other,not just the one respecting the other


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Msimpson75 5 years ago

I am this exact same way with my husband. We have been together for 4yrs and we don't even argue. Our relationship is great and he treats me soooooooo good! we treat each other with respect. its wonderful, people should really try this. I came across this article and signed up just to comment. thank you for sharing.


Eva 5 years ago

off course iam happy with the lesson and am sure through this am going to improve my marriage real its amazing.


aiko 5 years ago

I am currently engaged, and about a month ago, we had a terrible argument. My fiancé went into the living room and found this page through his google search. He sent it to me immediately after. Things have been fantastic ever since. Thanks so much for posting this. Life saver, seriously. :)


kate 5 years ago

i tried a few of these and you could tell the difference after a couple weeks,we have become closer to the kids and spend more time together.i try to be the best i can for my husband because i love him so so much and he is the perfect father to our 4 kids. he saw me on this site on night and he said "honey, i love you, you don't need to do anything more for me i have everything in life that is special to me." we have grown so close thanks for the tips, means a lot to me


lakshmi 5 years ago

its very nice.and very useful to women.because these things are known then every women is very with her husband .thank u..


Emmanema 5 years ago

At first I wasn't sure what I thought about this. I've decided it's really great, especially for your culture. I think the constant struggle for equality is a little silly now. We have equality. Personally, I'm not the kind of girl who wants to stay at home. I want to be a doctor. That doesn't mean I'm not going to clean the house and be kind and caring. I expect the same from my husband. It really annoys me when people say that women who stay home and cook and clean are ruining everything women are trying to accomplish. They aren't. They're doing what they want. Some women really find happiness in being a homemaker, cleaning and decorating. That's awesome, and women are now doing it not because they have to but because they want to.

Also, I'd like to say I really admire how you handle any negativity on here. It makes me happy to see such a levelheaded person.


pari 5 years ago

It is truly a nice article.I have done all of these you have discussed above...so may be i have suceeded to some extent to be a good wife.But do you think it is possible for the wife to be patient each time we quarrel on a matter?


Kim 5 years ago

I have to comment. I am an American woman that grew up thinking that we treat people how they treat us. My husband and I used to fight all the time and had a very unhappy marriage. Everything in the list above are things I strive earnestly to do for my husband now, not because I want him to be good to me, but because I love him. Love is not selfish, it is not about what we can get out of it. I will tell you since I have changed my attitude my husband has changed his. I did not ask for this or expect it. I hold myself to this standard, and it is not contingent on what i get in return. That is love. I think that loving someone in this way can move mountains and heal our hurts. It isn't about us, or being a slave. If you are doing it because you love someone and care for them, then you will see the fruits of that love naturally. But, the reason for loving someone should not be what I can get out of it, because then it would be selfish and this is not love.


uduak essien udom 5 years ago

i read your update and most comment on here, its a beautiful piece, we really need to adjust ourselves both men and women to fit in with our spouse,.... to keep a healthy relationship, keep up the good work looking forward in reading more of Ur Advice!


lovely wife 5 years ago

Hello guys,

I read all of your comments and of course it's a very nice n impressive tips but it's applicable only for those who loves their husband a lot but don't know how to make him happy.


Aussie girl 5 years ago

You have to find someone with the same values you have. These qualities will suit some couples and if they are both happy with it then power to them. Communication and clear expectations before marriage is key to know what each person wants and is prepared to give in return.

- express your love and know how your partner likes to be shown that you love them

- respect each others space and social needs ... if both people are working you will each need time with friends, away from the kids etc

- spend time on yourselves ... don't forget to do things together, just the two of you, even when you do have kids. Don't let your relationship get lost in the hussle of family life and work

- respect each other as people ... acknowledge the positives, support when needed, trust each other

- accept failures ... disagreements don't need to be a screaming match and end in anger, be an adult!

- don't over complicate things and exaggerate

It doesn't have to be difficult if you both know how to treat each other and really listen and know your partners individual needs.

In number 10 you mentioned the marriage vows. I am not sure what yours are in India, but the ones I have seen certainly do not give the man the right to cheat - no matter what. Saying 'a man will be a man' indicates they have no free will over the matter - a bit of a cop-out really.

Also - I played the traditional wife (while still working full time) for 18 years only to have him cheat and leave me because he wanted someone who argued with him more and didn't pander to his every need. It had nothing to do with sex, my appearance or nagging.


Look it this way. 5 years ago

Having said the above. My take on marriage and relationship is:

1. In general if you are a loving, caring and a responsible person, you would get same attitude & behavior from your spouse.

2. Remember not to be project (or make your spouse feel) that you are loving and caring towards him/her because he or she loves and you and you are returning the favor. This is called business and not relationship.

There is subtle difference between what is in point 1 and 2 above. The difference is how you view your life and relationship. The key is being responsible person towards what you want from your relationship. This will decide if you are going enjoy loving relationship with your spouse or not.

But If you feel (and be true to yourself) that you are responsible person with a caring and loving attitude towards your spouse, and despite of that you are not enjoying a healthy relationship in your marriage, then don't think twice and its better to initiate to terminate the relationship (of course consult and take advise of your parents, friends and other before doing so). Sometime our assessment of our own self is wrong and that leads to a lot of irresponsible decisions in life that leads us to more trouble than we deserve.

Hope this post helps. I welcome any comment.


Mans perspective 5 years ago

Ok I have seen a lot of comments from women here. And its quite interesting. Let me ask all the women, how would they feel if we men say below:

1. I will only love the girl or women in my life if they also first love and care about my feeling....

2. The women in my life should first understand that we too want to have some time away from them and kids and household stuffs with our male friends on weekends..

3. They should not crib or nag all the time...

4. They should do this and that for me to be romantic and loving towards her.

5. Its not late 1940ties era anymore hence my wife should be living in present and not have expectation of old days man. I am from new generation and very independent minded..my girl or wife should understand this.

How do women who maintain this same attitude find if the same statements come from Man in their life...?


pete 5 years ago

Here are a couple of things I expect out of a good wife.

1) Definitely no nagging

2) Leave me alone, and don't bother me with questions.

3) Bedtime is for sleeping and not sex or intimacy I don't plan to ever have sex with you any way. Don't expect getting pregnant, I hate kids!

4) Any communication will be by sticky notes.

5) Keep the house kept up, just sort of neat.

6) Stay off the phone.

7) Don't invite you parents over or mine either. And I'll include the nosey ass neighbors.

8) Do't argue about me going out with the guys on friday and saturday night.

9) On The weekends when I'm with the guys you can do or go where ever you want.

Just a few requirments fo a happy house hold


meena 5 years ago

dear can u please help me..

i forgot my lover's bday and din evn give any gift till date..i feel so bad abiut this.AS a sister can u help me by giving a nice thought which i can do....


'Mathupa 5 years ago

I would really want to thank you with these tips and commemts from different people as well. Guys we have to know that marriage is a plan of God & if families can invite God in their marriages I think every body in the family will know his / her role. The word of God says "God made him a helper and comforter". And it goes on saying " a good wife builds her house but the stupid one destoys it with her hands." Wifes it is up to you, if you value your marriage and family, do what ever it takes for your mariage and family. We alwalys say that life has got no formula, this is a wrong statement. Life has got formula, read the word of God and do accordingly this is the formula.I would lastly advise all women to follow this qualities and see if they build or destroy. GOD BLESS U ALL.


Mara Ishaya 5 years ago

And to all the women who posted here who said that a women's role is in the house to support her husband only and help him become a better person I say do that as long as he is helping you to become a better person also. A relationship and a marriage are like a business partnership; there are ups and downs, and each has to maximize on their strengths, and work as a team, otherwise everything fails. There is no formula, but when you create a team and goal oriented environment, then you and your potential mate are ready for marriage.


Mara Ishaya 5 years ago

How about the 3 I's? Independence, Inspiration, and Intuition? I think those three apply to both husband and wife equally. Personally, I would like to live in a true partnership, and the roles of wife and husband are to support each other in varying amounts depending on each other's difficulty during a time. Asking for things is also important, and making the other person feel needed in the right way, as well as offering not only advice, but something practical like a massage for example, or to do some yoga together, or anything that you feel could help the other person.


nat 5 years ago

ha! do you think we're still in the 1940s or what mate??


Wise Women 5 years ago

A lot of comments I see from women comparing a caring and loving women towards her husband to Slavery. I think women who equates this to slavery have got their fundamentals wrong in the first place. If I follow or at least try to follow these 12 points mentioned by Anamika, then I do them because I am a self-responsible person to take upon me the options that only I can exercise to take control of ensuring a healthy family, with a loving husband, loving father of my child and loving friend who would appreciate my contribution in ensuring a happy relationship. I try to follow these 12 points out of my own personal judgment and willingness as it gives me great return and help build a strong foundations and family values for my children. So why do some women compare this to SLAVERY. First as a women we need to priorities what's important to us in long run. If you priorities as self centered and my interests should be met first and then I will play my cards then you should not get into a marital relationship or commitments. You are better off living a single & perhaps die single. Remember Slaves do not love what they do, they do out of compulsions. Concentrate and look into yourself and not have a balance sheet ready all the time to compare what I am getting in return of my action from husband. This attitude I have see leads women to divorce and they fail to understand this and curse their husband. I do not mean to say that all husbands are born gentlemen, romantic and loving without any fault. But a lot depend on women to take self responsibility to take control of their family and relationship and guide a husband to be a better person.


Ben 5 years ago

If a husband cheats, it is his own fault and not his wife's. Selfishness and lust are the reasons, not because she wasn't pleasing him in some way. Maybe she wasn't doing everything she should, but that doesn't give a man reason to break his promise to always love only her. Do wives need to please their husbands? Yes, of course! But men need to please their wives too, in bed and in every other way! Marriage is BOTH partners laying down their life for the other, not one taking and the other giving all the time!

"In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (from Ephesians Chapter 5)


J. 5 years ago

This is the biggest load of crap i have ever read. Ladies, do yourself a favor. Grow a backbone and buy a gun. Shoot multiple times any man who expects you to behave this way. This is the only way they will learn. You are not required to dote on a man. Marriage is an equal partnership. Get yourself a job, and demand respect from the men in your life, cut them loose if they expect this kind of mommying. Seriously guys, if you need a mommy in your life, why did you ever leave home? Grow a pair, and look for a partner in life, not a slave.

-- Very happily married us woman


aivil 5 years ago

Hello,amazing article...amazing...i find myself in all this points,onest speeking,i please my husband always,he is happy,i am happy too,our family is verry happy too.it not difficult to be nice and ind,but need little time and practice...too see what he likes,what he dislike.he is always telling me...i wish all man have the wife i have...no naggyng...and i believe he is saynng the truth.all the best for all out there and wish your wifes to read this article.bravo.good one.it good to reread it.


yvette  5 years ago

wow!


KKS1120 5 years ago

I am in my 20's and live in the west , i didn't realize how rare my qualities were until everyone kept telling my partner to marry me. My relationship is traditional, and i really enjoy the life i have.My partner is a wonderful man who i love with all my heart. Good men deserve good women and good women deserve good men.

My partner is looking at engagement rings so cross your fingers for me !


angie 5 years ago

hey whoever wrote this thanks so much i really needed to read this,

you have really helped me thank you so much


Princess Elizabeth ada of Nigeria 5 years ago

I love every direction given to wives from those 12 qualities of good house wives keep it up. they are true qualities of a good house wives, any woman that follow it will surely prosper in her marriage.


LKJ 5 years ago

Hi, any advices for husbands ? Girls bringing up is often taken the way girls are tought to gain these qualities, it is always stressed out, so they are more ready to get married and bring all these possitve attitudes. What about boys ? How much are they brought up with respect of their future married life ?

I think more can be done in that aread. But it is often shame on their mothers they do not prepare good hubbies for perfect wifes...


hurting wife 5 years ago

idid all that and still got hurt


ghea mirrela 5 years ago

great i like these advice


Mutinta Shilla 5 years ago

Thanks a lot for this. great work and wish to be a very good wife.


Helena 5 years ago

Very nice hub, very true. we in Lebanon must have these specifications, otherwise we don't get married. These details could start or end a relationship. Men in Lebanon didn't marry a woman who doesn't treat him like this...


Jack 5 years ago

These comments are more entertaining and informative than the article was! In my opinion, I'd hate for my wife to live her life according to those rules. How very dull indeed!


britt 5 years ago

I bookmarked this hub bc it is just what I needed to see...I have a good boyfriend that I don't know how to treat right bc I have never been taught...he is very patient and understanding and I am blessed to have him in my life, but if I don't figure out how to treat him right, I fear he will be done with me...I know that if I can do these simple things for him, we will be happy forever, since he does them for me! Thank you so much for this!


SBK 5 years ago

I have to sort of agree with everyone here. My husband comes from a Hindu culture and I am western. So, I know that many of the things the author writes is what he expects from a good wife. And he constantly says he wants me to be his "queen." So, in his mind, he wants to take care of me, and I just need to take care of him back. And I do think that both partners need to please each other sexually -- Hindus have a whole sutra on this. BUT, to say that someone will cheat if their dissatisfied somewhat sexually, is off the mark. Will the wife cheat if she doesn't have mind-blowing orgasms? Come on? Do you really want to put into people's mind that men can not be trusted and have no respect for their family if he has certain sexual fantasies that are not 100% fulfilled. I mean what if you were somehow disabled, and could only perform certain acts but not all of them? It cheapens the man in a marriage to think he would disgrace his family because of one aspect. Not everything is 100% perfect in a marriage. So, I think the point is, respect each other, treat each other with loving kindness and try your best to please the other however you can.

And before we glamourize Indian marriages too much (and believe me, I am the biggest romantic and I am obsessed with Bollywood love stories), let's not forget about the women who have acid thrown in their face shortly after marriage, disfiguring them and therefore rendering them "unsuitable" wives -- just so the husband's family can get another dowry?? Think I am kidding? I have seen these women on the streets where I live. Begging. They are left unsuitable for anything in life. I am just saying, we all want a happy marriage, demure is one thing and subservient mistreatment is another. Anyone who lives on the Indian sub-continent is well aware of many women who become slaves to their in-laws. They were chosen for the marriage because they seemed like good "workers" which equals good wife in many villages.

On the same hand, I agree that many Western women are hen-pecking their husbands and emasculating them. It is embarrassing, as a Westerner, for me to see this.

Anyway, that's my two cents worth. Hope this is balanced. -- Wife in a Happy Hindu Marriage.


Kristine 5 years ago

How can you be the best as you could if your husband doesn't know how to treat you right?


Alladream74 profile image

Alladream74 5 years ago from Oakland, California

This goes both ways. Its not "how to be a good wife or husband" its how to be a good human being. Everybody wants to be treated well and in a relationship, its about compromise-it takes two to tango.


khsuhbo 5 years ago

thanks so much from the person who share his/her idea with us i had learned so many things from this. thank you again


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Bhanu.Jas 5 years ago from Australia

Thanks..Its a great hub and very useful.Bhawana


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Moms-Secret 5 years ago from Central Florida

What do you think are the roles and responsibilities of a wife?

Likewise, what are the roles and responsibilities of a husband?

I would find this information useful as I am a rookie wife and find myself in need of training...


cheryl 5 years ago

I think this is a great article, but I also disagree that "a man is a man". What soundproof do you have that all men would cheat? I realize you have an another article on how to be a good husband, I hope it shows equally that a man must please a woman in bed?


Tony St 5 years ago

ALL women should study your article Anamika. They should aspire to be like that. That is if they truly want a happy marriage with a man who truly loves, adores and has affection for them. If they don't, then they will be offended by your article and criticize it.....and continue to have men that are miserable being with them. Even if they delude themselves into thinking their husbands are happy.


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 5 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

@ A Bride I have an article on How to be a Good Husband to your Wife as well. Feel free to read it @ http://hubpages.com/relationships/How-to-be-a-good...


A Bride 5 years ago

So, when are writing an article about how to keep your wife happy. Women have feelings and needs too and deserve the same amount of respect and care! Let's not forget marriage is a two way street and the rules should apply to men as well.


Dean May 5 years ago

They are such great advices. These will help spouse to build up their strong bonds for long or forever. Toleration is also the best thing to do; never record of wrongs and always give chances to our partner to improve.


genie 5 years ago

great article, I agree that all the qualities mentioned are necessary for a good wife. please note that women from other areas of the world besides India practice and honour these qualities...I am from the Caribbean and have strong moral values and qualities mentioned...probably men from India should wake up and realize this!!


julija 5 years ago

this article gave me a deja vu feeling. It is same rules for women back in 50's in USA. It seems it makes a woman just a comfortable creature for a man. I would not want such woman, if i were a true man. besides, men should not ask from women what they cannot give and women should not ask men what they are not able to give too. only require things u can give, in this way your marriage will survive long term separations (when someone has to work in foreign country), misunderstanding and fights, bitter times and boring days. That is what i have experienced. And thank god, he still loves me, my wonderful one...


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chamilj 5 years ago from Sri Lanka

Interesting Hub! Book marked and will ask my wife to read this later. Thanks!


Dylan 5 years ago

Well said the wife need’s to be true to her husband in reality, not put on an act in front of him, and then do only things that her mother wants her to do, the mother in law the wife’s mother should not interfere with the husband and wife life style, the mother in law’s want the daughter to live the way how she have lived well that not in these modern days, that will lead to misunderstanding in life, that will make the husband take a hatred to his wife. The mothering law needs to go classes how to treat their daughter-in-laws, and their son in laws and not to interfere with their lives, the Husband and the Wife are old enough to lead their own life style, that’s is why they are married and called Husband & Wife.


shirly 5 years ago

wow this r the things we women should read before gettin marrried in order for us to knw how to please our husband,i really like it.


reta 5 years ago

nice... i really like it


Alfredrichh 5 years ago

90% of Malaysian chinese woman very lacked such virtues, but, yet when an Indian guy got one such critter as his wife, he and his friends went wild with exhilaration, as if hitting a Big Jackpot, WHY ???


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kittythedreamer 5 years ago from the Ether

great advice...there are many wives out there that don't do half of the things on this list and they should start soon! :)


Amynah 5 years ago

Anmika,

I thank you my dear sister for your wonderful article. I have been married to my husband for three years now. I am a modern woman with good education and muslim too.we where trained to be good wives when we got married. We live in a strange world where women want to be like men. It is very sad really! this is what i do to keep my hubby happy.

1) I obey and submit to him in every way. He is the master of this house and should be obeyed.He is second to God.He is my God on this earth, if i obey well i will go to heaven.

2) Never answer back, when he gets angry i keep silence and keep my head down, i never raise my voice to my lord.

3) Never gossip about him or my private affairs to anyone. If i feel i need to let out steam if i am upset with him, i speak to an independent person who does not know me or my husband like a sheikh or a councellor.

4) Never put him down in front of others, and always praising him in front of other people.

5) I keep my body trip and firm by going to the gym three times a week, go to the salon once a week,

wear lovely clothes and buy sexy perfumes and various lingerie for the bedroom and encourage him to have sex often, be creative and try different kamasutra styles.

i like to decorate my bedroom too. use udi to perfume it

6) Welcome him when he gets home, give him a hug and a kiss and ask him how his day was.

7)keep the house clean and perfumed.

8) prepare gourmet dishes, i like cooking italian,indian,spanish,chinese... keep the food exiting and interesting

9)least but not last.. Don't talk to much!! know when to talk and when to keep silence.


BISI 5 years ago

It is good and very nice word,if will want to live in happy home,husband and wife must patience and all needs of family husband must respond for it,wife must satisfy all the needs of his husband and duties of the house.


Inonge 5 years ago

This is very helpful. I will try it once i get married.


Mel 5 years ago

well thats all fine. As you said husband and wife are a team. so wives can expect the exact same treatment in return. so all those men that think it is one sided, you need to read up on how to be a good husband.


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kannaji 5 years ago from US

Good article which i enjoyed reading it.Thanks a lot and i would try to follow it...Hope your husband is lucky to have you...anyway thank a lot....


Kev 5 years ago

Enjoy reading the article.I mid be a man,but i know what to look for in a woman and it's spot on.

Thanx


nice wife 5 years ago

very nice and easy steps to keep our husband happy


5 years ago

If only someone could teach men how to be good husbands!


Maria 5 years ago

Im not Indian, Im American and this is the way I was raised to treat my Husband so I do and I honestly LOVE doing these things for him! It makes me feel good to take care of our kids & the home. The way I see it my job is just as important as his! People wonder how we've managed to stay happy & in love for so long & I truly believe its because we work as a team & appreciate & support each other. There are no lies, cheating or secrecy in my marriage. We truly are happy!


Pooja 5 years ago

Thnx Anamika Ur 12 Qualities are excellent. Im getting marry soon. Hope this will help me more to keep my hubby & family happy forever.

Love you..........


Sexylexy McRell 5 years ago

One thing that was left out, learn what ticks your husband, he may love you unconditionally but every person feels that something bothers him or her about their spouse. For instance, my husband hates it when I studder and can't get my words out when it involves telling hime something. SO that is something I have to work on everyday, especially since I don't have a studdering problem and I only do it with him. Learning your husband is very important!


Gudwife 5 years ago

Great work,really enjoy reading it! Im a bit hot tempered,only care abt myslf,nvr rspct my hubby.. But in return i get only love n lot of love! Only lucky one gets a husband like zat especially he who has got many girlfrnd in his previous life,bt still he love me loads.. Thnx 4ur advise,im sure it'll b of great help 4 me


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gajanis786 5 years ago

Great advices.....great work.


grey_specter 5 years ago

Amen Journalistmommy, you know how to treat your man. And in return a good husband will cherish you, love u, and nurture you. He will Appreciate you as the queen you are to him. He will adore you and love you. You will be the apple of his eye. If you want someone to love you, you also have to be willing to love them. Everyone must understand that marriage is not being selfish, its being selfless. We are commanded to love our wive's as Christ loves the church. No matter what, men and women should love each other, it's not a one way street, it's a 2 way road. You need each other to do for each other, stop being so concerned about yourself, and start being concerned more for your partner, because is the end, if you have a good spouse, all you will have is each other. Most people today are too concerned about themselves, 1st and foremost, when you marry, your body no longer belongs to you, (technically it doesn't even before marriage, but I digress) you and your husband belong to each other, all this, my head hurts, or i'm too tired from work, needs to stop, make sacrifices for each other, I mean, you are each other's life partners now, be friends, talk to each other, tell each other secrets... but most important, love and be there for each other, and stop having these selfish ideas of what you are and aren't going to do. Be open to each other, you need each other, this is how marriage should go. Support, mutually, Love, equally, Devotion, always, Sacrifice, when necessary...


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Journalistmommy 5 years ago

I think the reason we have such a high divorce rate is because some women don't understand how to be a good wife. We look at the 50's housewife who cooked and cleaned and made meals from scratch and was respectful and loving and think that that's degrading. How many times have I heard women say things like "I'm not his maid," and "he should be cooking MY dinner," and other ridiculous things. There is nothing wrong with looking good, keeping in shape and keeping him happy. When I become a wife, I will make it my full time endeavor to keep my husband and our home happy. Excellent hub!


Mhunter 5 years ago

I am sorry but i find it funny that this is posted cause what modern day woman is all those things. In the USA at least, I cook every day for my husband, make his lunch, do is laundry , clean the house, balance the check book, raise our kids, the only things he does do is go to work, takes trash to the road on trash day, other than that doesn't do to much. So tell me what makes a good husband.


Peggy 5 years ago

Ur advice really makes marriage worthwhile. I am enjoying mine.


grey_specter 5 years ago

hmmm, its very funny how all Anamika did was write a suggestion guide, to what is acceptable practice of how to treat a husband in her country, and a lot of negativity, from what is considered a free country, gets slammed in her face, simply from offering advice. Hmmm, but yet Anamika is accused of being old fashioned, one sided, and or biased to men's wants and desires and not that of women. Wow, it must be nice to live in a day and age where speaking such landish things don't get u hung anymore, or taken to the stocks for public humiliation... Wow, but no one appreciates that, as a woman u should appreciate the fact that u actually get the free choice of marrying a man of your choosing nowadays, instead of arranged marriages, which actually still take place in some parts of the world. It really sounds like a lot of us are simply spoiled selfish little brats. To all of you who found Anamika's hub insightful, thank u. To the rest of u, maybe u need to readjust your focus and outlook on life and realize that the real setback to women today, is you,... marriages are receptical, meaning, you have to cherish each other, it's a partnership, men should love their wives as Christ loves the church. And wives should submit themselves to their husbands. All of this, "I ain't no slave, and I ain't in the 50's, is why divorce rates are on the increasing rise. Your right ur not from the 50's, because they stayed married to the same person til they died. Stop making marriage about ur own selfish needs, and yes a lot of men, and women do cheat due to not being satisfied in bed,... sex is apart of marriage, its not the most important part, but holding it away from your partner can end disastrous. Your body doesn't belong to you once u marry so, not giving it up is actually wrong, u actually can cause your partner to look for other sources of pleasure. Before u post downing Anamika, think, assess, and most importantly do some research before u come with this selfish, self righteous crap about how u think this is crap, if you don't like it there are millions of other sites to look at to make you feel better about yourself. Husbands love your wives, and Wives respect your husbands...


kanchan 5 years ago

Anamika,I try to do most of the things what you have mentioned above But my husband never notices what I wear and he never give me surprises.He never appreciates what I do.He never try to protect me from people sights.I sometimes feel ignored 'coz I cared him like babies and in response he never pampers me though we are into love cum arrange marriage,please suggest what should I do.


Molly 5 years ago

A women should be as is and loved for it!I am and I`m happy.


dmc 5 years ago

Sure would be nice if my wife would stumble across this read.


michael m 5 years ago

She might just be a keeper however she feels that her mother will magically appear at our home to clean her room or do the dishes...... Wishful thinking.


Sam 5 years ago

What a load of nonsence....the worst article l have ever read..as a women, mother, wife, daughter in law, l have been through a lot and if l followed your rules, l would be cleaning my in laws toilet, being treated like a slave while they sit there laughing at how stupid l am....l suggest in order to be a good wife, you should treat your husband as you want to be treated, so love him, respect him and stand up for your dignity, if you don't respect yourself he won't.


Linds 6 years ago

How about this advice to be a "good wife"? Find out who you are and what makes you happy, and try to find someone with the same values as yourself. That way, you don't need to worry about fitting some stereotype about how you should think and feel, how you should enjoy acting toward your husband, how you would like to pretend to be happy regardless of whether you really are, how you should enjoy supporting HIM and cleaning up after HIM. Nagging? When women complain about unequal distribution of labor it is somehow always called 'nagging'. The fact that you feel you should 'nag' means that you are most likely being subjugated and of course your husband doesn't want to hear about your unhappiness with this, he's winning the battle.

Women! Listen! It is okay to feel how you feel and be who you are. You don't need to be perfect for anyone. Men and women are just people with the same base instincts and needs. You will find one that you really love being with, who you can share in your adventures in life with. Forget how to be something you are not. Do you try to do this for your female friendships? No. You try to be with someone who you understand and who understands you. Here's a radical thought - marry someone you would be friends with, and forget all this bullshit!


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NarayanKrishna 6 years ago from The country of Mount Everest

I like your (this) hub very much. Every wife must know these points.


A. 6 years ago

Oh by the way, I'm with a man now who is so easy to get along with, following these guidelines is natural and a cinch. In the past, however, I've been with men that were selfish and awful and brought out the worst in me. Acting like a "good wife" would have been completely faking it. When you're sad, don't put a smile on your face and act pleasant. Some men don't deserve that, sadly. I'm glad I don't have to live with that anymore. Mutual respect is easy and a joy. I sympathize with women who have awful husbands who mistreat them. They are still good wives, even if they are not happy and nag. Sometimes nagging is a plea for help, you know? Her needs aren't being met and he's too selfish to listen or care. How else can she communicate?


A. 6 years ago

If men will cheat, they will cheat, whether you treat them well in bed or not. It's been shown in research that men cheat even when they are happy and satisfied in their marriages. So do women for that matter. Not to say you shouldn't please him in bed. YES, do. Pleasing one's husband can be a wonderful experience if he reciprocates. But the whole idea of please him in bed or he'll find it elsewhere sets the wife up to be blamed if he's unfaithful. "Afterall a man is a man" are words that further enable such attitudes. Otherwise, great hub.


Obaid 6 years ago

Actually we know that there is equal right between women and men but still husband and wife have their own right on each other. It is very good for each couple to respect each other. I think husbands need trust, smiley face and honesty from his wife.

Thanks


deepti 6 years ago

i think one more thing should be added that a husband's happiness might be incompleted if u won't care about his parents that means in-laws..


New Day 6 years ago

If a husband will read the Good Wives Guide and place himself in the role of the wife-it will do amazing things in the marriage. I am very content serving my wife and being available for her. I work alongside her and try to follow the rules. This strengthens communication, eases her load, and brings us closer together. The rules should apply not only to the wife but the husband as well. The key word is partnership.


Princy 6 years ago

Thanks Anamika.....this is what i need...i wanna be a good wife in all means... thank you very much for the guidence.


Chelsea 6 years ago

Most of this is good advise some is a little extreme. For example making sure you look tip top everyday, so some times between his life and ego be made perfect I don't have time to be a beauty queen. Just remember it is just as important for your husband to do for you what you do for him.


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Neverletitgo 6 years ago from Minneapolis, MN

Wow! This is very nice. That is the traditional wife that I need. By the way,I should be nice to my wife.

Thanks for sharing


N Manikandan 6 years ago

I am lucky to have my wife in my life. She is a person who has all those qualities what hubby expects. I didn't expect much from her but she tends to do all those things for me. I love you my dear..........


berl 6 years ago

good to know


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irenemaria 6 years ago from Sweden

Such lovely words! You are right. Did you know that many of these advices are in the Bible too?


himabindu 6 years ago

Its amazing ...

I believe all these words..to build good relation.


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IdiditAlready 6 years ago

Nice hub. I think marriage is like a coin both sides are equal. Men and women should follow this virtues. Without balance, you almost defeat the point of marriage.


ali 6 years ago

oo my god I love my woman and she is the most beautiful but we don't get a long I been trying so hard to make it work but i don't know we still don't get a long bcz now I am not just fight am tired of arguing with her so what i do to make it out...we both love each other


tizozo 6 years ago

Thank You, this is a rude - awakening, I have tolerated lots of mistreatment from wife because i had done wrong previously, and i'm still suffering from it, its because we have 2 great kids otherwise I would have divorced her long time ago.


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Tatjana-Mihaela 6 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

Well Anamika, if any men in Croatia would get such wife, (it is tested on many examples, because our wives use to be example of perfection, in addition to all mentioned here they were earning money) he would immediately (mis)use his right in your point 6 - and would enjoy himself with bunch of other women, alcohol or gambling and would be so happy because when he returns at home nobody nags on him. Due to that, our women changed and we are not angels any more...

Hehe, we are all different due to the tradition, I suppose.

Hugs....


Sandra 6 years ago

@ G. Macmillan I have heard about New Zealand women treat their husbands good. Is this true? Can u feed me on this or provide me with some information about how New Zealand women treat their husbands


that STAR girl 6 years ago

although this is very traditional, its still very true in some sense. however back in the day, when this was very ideal WOMAN DIDN'T HAVE JOBS! yes these are all good qualities to have as a wife but i think the blog should not refer to woman and instead be called "How to be a Good Spouse". i believe that everything is equal. a husband and wife are a team, and need to work together. okay ill cook dinner, do the laundry, do the dishes, whatever needs to be done...but i want the same in return. i don't want to come home to a sink full of dishes and a filthy house when he was home and very well capable of doing it. just because hes a man doesn't mean all he has to do is go to work. this blog says you should always appreciate your man, but if he leaves everything for you to do, does that make you feel appreciated in return?


wife to be 6 years ago

i love your advice i will try and do them all for my husband.. but what happens if your husband says that your ugly no matter how hard you try to look good for him? what should i say to him or what should i do? :(


Ramya 6 years ago

Thanks a lot for sharing with us..luvd the advice..


Eleanor 6 years ago

I really like dis advice, am trying my best to put it into practise.


Bexi Lee 6 years ago

This was a wonderful hub, and it gave me a lot of advice. However, I did want to express my opinion on the idea of a wife being their husband's "little slave" while he's at home. Personally, while I like to pamper my husband and cook and clean for him, I like to share the household chores with him. That way, I don't feel like the purpose of my existence is solely to please him, and he doesn't begin to look at me as his second mother. He's a man, and while he may have unsatisfactory habits at times, he's perfectly capable of picking up his own dirty socks and underwear, and I have the full functional ability to clean my own dirty dishes.


Dchosen_01 6 years ago

Animaka I think you are directly talking to me. I really appreciate it and I must confess that this is a great hub!


Joana 6 years ago

I really loved this post, Im Portuguese but im engaged with an Indian, and I really love him and I want to be a good wife your post helped me a lot. I respect very much indian culture and maybe i cant be a truly indian wife, but i want to give my best to make my husband happy as he also make me happy every single second.

Rumba Nandri :D


semper fi hubby 6 years ago

"Your comment is just a typical reason men give themselves to try and justify their unfaithfulness".

Oh please. Your comment seems to profess that ALL men are like this. Please do not lump us all together. I have remained completely faithful to my wife of 12 years since the day I met her! Even though I have not received nowhere near the kind of intimate life I would prefer. And please DO NOT tell me I don't please her! She said that I was so much a better man in all ways than her ex husband and all the other men she knew. She tells me that she totally enjoys our sex life and has always been attracted to me in every way. She always blamed it on hormones, pregnancies, post partum, and now perio-menopause. But to me it's just always excuses year after year. It's a shame to have to admit I have had to pleasure myself probably 10 times more than we have been intimate. And if that is truly a bad sin on my part, perhaps the fact I remained faithful will offset it in the end. But hasn't my wife also sinned by not keeping her vows to take care of my needs? Believe me, her needs are well taken care of! It's just that sex is not an important one.


Karen Gaur 6 years ago

Please your man in bed??? After all he is a man???? How lame is that??? What about the man pleaseing the wife? Men still haven/t got that right! But we women don't go out and cheat because of it! If you LOVE someone, you don't even LOOK at another with lust in your mind. Period! Men are no different than women. Your comment is just a typical reason men give themselves to try and justify their unfaithfulness. Be honest and realistic before making such statements.


deepa tiwari 6 years ago

i m going to get married.i am really confused.but ur article is really good.i hope dis will help me in my married life.thanks


molly 6 years ago

anamika..great article. enjoyed reading and very refreshing advices found in this script. thanks and keep up the good work.


anuradha 6 years ago

beautiful.. wish all the wives.. aaha lovers should read this at once.


johnny paycheck 6 years ago

Wow, maybe things are that great in the east but it is very different here in the west. Radical feminism and the "mommy mode syndrome" have killed marriages. Man marries woman, she goes into mommy mode for years, she witholds sex to manipulate and punish, man is relegated to basically a piece of furniture and a paycheck. He is dispensable even though he may be a good man and a great father. I know I will probably get bashed for this. But tell me you don't see it time and time again. This is why half of all marriages fail in the early child bearing years and 75% of divorces are initiated by women. Because of our one sided court system, she takes the kids, the money, and then moves on to the next dispensable man. Men today are not getting married in growing and alarming percentages. They see what has happened to their fathers, older brothers, and friends. Marriage is a dying institution I am so sad to say.


C. Ramsdell 6 years ago

I have a problem with some of the things in your article, while I appreciate others. I have to state though, where you REALLY began to lose me was the nagging -- women "nag" out of fear. The wife asks once, the husband says he will do it. Depending on the specific task, a few days, a week, a month will pass and when it's still undone? How is the wife not supposed to fear that she is unimportant to the one man she's promised her life to.

Some women will find fault in everything, as will some men. But in the cases I've seen personally, one PARTNER's inattention to his OR her PARTNER's needs causes "nagging."


Fredrick and Shawn 6 years ago

A good wife will fear God and have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. She will exercise prayer daily. She will understand the order of importance which is God first, husband and children. She will volunteer time, money and skills to accommodate those less fortuned which will keep her humble and appreciate what fruitful things she has been blessed with. She will raise her children in the way of the Lord.


jena 6 years ago

Does the person you describe above have kids, family, her own interests? This is a full time job that leaves no time for anything else..


miramay 6 years ago

i think this is the opposite of me.....after reading the article it change me a lot .....thanks for the advice anyway my hub appreciate so much...... more power....


Angel 6 years ago

Thanks so much for ur advice Annamika... Im indian and my boyfriend is more of a husband to be and hopefully he will be in few years... I came across this article and hoping to follow your advice all the time and always be a good life partner :)


anam  6 years ago

hi Annamika.....u r just great, i was reading it n it felt like my own story n i m sure gonna get a lot of help from this,,,,for this...i love u.


A. Brinner 6 years ago

"Little Slave" seriously? Is that what you do to keep your husband happy, treat him as your master?

I don't want my husband to be my master. My God is my master, not a man. You're entitled to your opinion, but I would never tell ANYONE to be a slave to anyone else. Do you know what the life of a slave - a real slave entailed? To even pretend it, is rude and thoughtless, and someone who loved you, would NEVER want you to do it.


Shanta 6 years ago

Very practical. It sounded like my dad!


kyla 6 years ago

I have tried all of the things you listed. Its just a part of me to be that way sometimes, when the time is right. That is not easy to do everyday. It gets stressful, and sometimes the other half doesn't show very much respect back, and it makes you just want to quit. So now, I live my life how I choose, and when the time is right I spoil my husband. It has to go both ways of course. otherwise you end up wasting allot of time and energy on nothing. Sorry for sounding negative on my last response.


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 6 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Every individual is entitled to his or her opinion. For those who do not agree to opinion i would urge you to try the tips 2-3 days and see if it makes a difference in your life. If everyone agrees with everything i say there would not be any room for discussion. You can clearly see that I have not deleted any negative comments even though i could have done it if i wanted to.


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Tulai 6 years ago from France

Megan and Kyla, I do not expect that you'll get a response/ reaction to your posts from its author, so let me be the one to say: Thank you!

It is refreshing to see that not everyone agrees with the Anamika's conception of the "a good wife"!


kyla 6 years ago

I agree with megan. I don't mind doing little things for my hubby now and then, but if i had to be a little slave for him the rest of my life, I would be miserable. I would not have time to take care of my own life, I still need time to myself even tho Im married. Plus, my hubby is a man, he can take care of himself for the most part. Just as I can take care of my self. Doing your own dishes, laundry, cleaning up after your self all of these things are everyday chores that each person has to deal with. Otherwise, you would get fat and lazy.


Megan 6 years ago

Honestly, this article doesn't show that a relationship should have equality. It seems like you are saying that women should bow down to their man, live life for their man, put their mans desires before the womans feelings. "Women.. Please your men in bed or they might cheat on you" That is bull. If your man would cheat on you, you should not be with him. Just treat your man with respect and love and he should do the same for you. You don't need to be his "little slave". This is not why you are married. Love and respect must equally be given.


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saket71 6 years ago from Delhi, India

Thanks Anamika, very well written..


G Macmillan 6 years ago

What about the husband? Sure women around the world could benefit from your advice, but seriously and realistically a male should always meet halfway. Instead of the female doing everything.

What you have said truly is about the perfect wife, but it will not lead to a perfect marriage.

G Macmillan - Age 20 - New Zealand


yayi_pinky 6 years ago

so much of this is correct. Even though we woman sometimes think that we are doing the best we can to keep our man happy, we sometimes don't realize what we are doing wrong. Sometimes we nag without even noticing, Without man we can not live and the same without woman, so lets take care of each other. Respect your man if you want the same for you!! and have a happy relationship.. I hope after reading this i will take note and make my marriage so much better!


Seema 6 years ago

This is indeed a very interesting article.....i am an indian wife and was having a few issues with my hubby;i will indeed for sure follow the stepts you advice to save my marriage. Sometime we indeed do things we don't really see until you read an article like this then you relized.

Thx for all the GUD ADVICE!!!!!!!!


Jared M. 6 years ago

Anamika S,

I really enjoyed both of your articles; how to be a good wife and how to be a good husband. As I began reading “How to be a good wife,” I instantly thought “this is not an American writing this.” I scrolled to the top and found that you are Indian. I knew this because American women seem to abhor being good wives. They equate everything you wrote with slavery. Even the comments reveal that American women have a problem with your instructions. On the other hand I didn’t see any negative comments on “How to be a good husband;” not from men or women. Why the hypocritical discrepancy? It’s like American women have lost their soul in an effort achieve this ever-elusive “equality.” The fact is if women practiced your principles their husbands would want to serve them back and the relationship would be optimum. The same goes for men; this is a two way street. I am currently ending a marriage in which my wife did opposite of 80 percent of what you wrote. It has damaged our lives, including our daughter. I treated her great but she bought into the “do whatever you want to do regardless of what he wants” American mentality. She even claimed sex was not a need but a want and if she didn’t care for it I would have to go without. And I did go without; for three and four months at a time. Women should listen to advice like yours and their lives and marriages would improve.


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angela_michelle 6 years ago from United States

I agree with you 100%. I think marriage is a partnership, and if we build each other up, our marriage will be built up! I have been married 8 happy years, and we still get along great! Thank you for this article!


monsy 6 years ago

it is very good to read this article. Many women don't know that how to behave themselves with their husband including me. I love my husband very much but i don't know how to express my love with him. I never let him to talk and me is very short tempred always sceeming for every thing bout my hubby is soft spocken and he is a professionalist also but i never respect him thinking that he is my husband why to respect and humble. So this article is helps me in my future i will try to apply in my life

Thank you,

Monsy


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Daddy Paul 6 years ago from Michigan

You really have it right. I am very impressed! Thank you!


annie 6 years ago

it is good rules but on other hands it's looks like discrimination/women is treated like slaves in our life today anamika, we will follow step by step in order to build good marriage in the world.

Many thanks!

from annie tanzania


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mika ela 6 years ago

hi there, i like your hub, its very informative and very useful to all the wives in the world.thanks


appam profile image

appam 6 years ago from India

Hi Anamika your quote from the sanskrit verse is incorrect. If you wish to get the same i an give you through this column.Don't think I am projecting it a a big mistake. It is to make it perfect


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RosWebbART 6 years ago from Ireland

It's old fashioned but it works ; great hub.


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Countess Batula 6 years ago from Cranbourne

Gosh, being a good wife is very, very hard work according to this article LOL. I will be going to read the How To Be A Good Husband one now!!!


Casey 6 years ago

This same article could be geared towards males and entitled "How to be a good husband"

Relationships are mutual. If one partner isn't treating the other one well, the other partner won't have any reason or inspiration to follow these guidelines and please the other one.


ramakant 7 years ago

Very nice


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Truth from Truth : Thanks for the visit.

faith_trixzy : Yes, it is a give and take policy.


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faith_trixzy 7 years ago from Philippines

for all the things that the wife should do, the husband must do it also vice versa....


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Truth From Truth 7 years ago from Michigan

great post, thanks


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Thanks for all the comments.

Linda : It is true that a Man may cheat for reasons other than sex too most of which I have discussed in another hub 'Why do men cheat in relationships' (http://hubpages.com/hub/Relationships-Cheating-Men... Relationships are a two way street it takes the effort of both the partners to make the relationships work.


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lindagoffigan 7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Anamika S. I am at issue with number 7 and number 11 about a man being a man if he decides to cheat.

Men cheat for other reasons than being denied sex from their wives and must be dealt with on an individual basis, optimally with counseling.

Your commenters were right on when one said that the man has an obligation to the woman to listen to her as well.

When people write indept comments, they would like more than a thank you or acknowledgement. They want to know what you think about their comment.

My take on this hubpage is that the wife is being thought of here as the thermostat measuring how the husband is feeling instead of both interacting equally in the relationship.

Stay at Moms have issues to deal with too and the husband should inquire about her day as well. A relationship is not a one way pleasing adventure on the part of the woman. It is not her job to keep a man a man.

There is no way for her to control her husband's tendencies to cheat because the reason for cheating is deep and sometimes the wife has nothing at all to do with his reasoning.

She would have made a poor choice for a mate as the commenter who said that a woman lost her life because she could not please her man. Women needs to read the comment by the gentlemen who explained what a good wife is from a man's perspective. Men should make sure that they are meeting their wife needs as well and most women basically wants to be listened to.


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missmarsh 7 years ago from USA

Excellent hub on being a good wife. A must read for all wives who have good husbands to appreciate. Thanks.


IndianWife 7 years ago

I am an Indian woman who loves her husband a lot and we enjoy a great relationship. This article makes me uncomfortable because it sounds like it puts the onus of maintaining it only on the woman. Pampering sounds good, not when you have two wailing children and a sink full of unwashed dishes and uncooked dinner. It is a feel-good article for those who are unmarried, but real-world runs on give and take and MUTUAL efforts of sustaining the marriage.


Mish Dang profile image

Mish Dang 7 years ago

I am a good wife because I have a great husband! But all these good wife rules make me sound like a her sounds like a slave. Bottom line is RESPECT. If a good husband appreciates and follows the same good wife rules than I am up for it!


nycboy 7 years ago

and men make sure we are also meeting our wives needs. How would it sound to say that she went to talk to a male friend instead of myself because i never listened and after all she'll do it because a woman is a woman! Dont like it huh? So lets be fair. We are equal.


T.L.C.P. 7 years ago

Dear Anamika,

I know you believe these rules are related to women in India, but I am from the U.S.A.

The Good Wife's Guide is a book that needs to be burned.

A couple should be equal in many ways. A relationship

should consist of honesty, respect,loyalty, harmony,

integrity, character and values.

This book was written in the United States in 1955; it is

now 2009.

I am 47 years old, I am in my fourth relationship since the

age 18. We have been together for five years. He is everything I have described in the above paragraph.

He makes me feel good about myself in so many ways.

We both do for each other in so many different ways.

It feels good to have a man stand beside me; not in front

of me.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 7 years ago

Anamika S.

You have shared some vital information here. A lasting marriage takes mutual love, respect, honor and commitment.

Good communication is also essential.

Blessings


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Thanks Shivani, Parvati and grace for the visit, I am happy that you found this article helpful.

RYPcontent : Yes, it's all about communicating. Thanks for the visit.

VS : Thanks for the visit. I would try making a hub on dealing with a short tempered husband.


VS 7 years ago

Nice Posting!!Could you please let us know how to make our husband listen to our words.How to manage a short temper husband and make him listen to us


grace 7 years ago

i really apriciate the tips. u know i learn a lot thank u and il do that . specially making happy in bed . tnx godbless


RYPcontent profile image

RYPcontent 7 years ago from Chatham, IL

One item you forgot. ;-) Just ask him what you can do to please him. Husbands can do the same - your spouse probably knows better than anyone what will make them happy.


Parvathi 7 years ago

hi, just chanced upon ur article. such a gud one. though i knew most of the things...life became monotonous after having kids. this articel really brt again some gud insights into my thnking. making me again a gud wife. thank u. keep writing.


Shivani 7 years ago

My husband and I are arguing a lot and not really getting on so I looked for inspiration on the internet and came across your hub and it's made me feel better and see things less selfishly.


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Thanks for your Opinion beautyrose and deeli82.


deeli82 7 years ago

if he is good to me then i will be good to him. i really dont agree with a "man is a man". that doesnt sit well with me. i loved your hub though.


beautyrose 7 years ago

yeah those qualities would really make your husband love you more.


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Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Thanks rajesh8884,zinebtam,Madame X and IIIuminati for expressing your Opinion.


Illuminatii profile image

Illuminatii 7 years ago from California

Yeah nice...all females should be demure sunshine and light. Now back to the real world...why not write something about how a man should treat his "good" wife? Alot of women do all of the above and are treated like doormats and abused anyway. A friend of mine took her own life after marrying a man that did nothing but break her down over everything. All she ever did was try to please him but it was never enough. A woman should be a good wife, but a man should be a good husband and steward of his wife as well, let us not forget that.


Madame X 7 years ago

Wonderful hub - a woman who really loves her husband will try to do these things anyway, to please him, just because. So many women are focused on themselves and not their man - all in the name of feminism. But you know, it takes a lot more strength to be like you describe. Besides, men are so tender inside, for all their tough exteriors, that it is important for a woman to treat her man gently and with respect.


rajesh8884 profile image

rajesh8884 7 years ago

thanks for sharing this nice story with good thinking......


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Thanks for the Compliments and visit yes2truth. One sad fact is that with Indians aping the western culture now a days women with these qualities are becoming rare.


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yes2truth 7 years ago from England

Boy, could you teach western women a few things. In many places it was as if I was reading your Hub straight out of the Holy Scriptures. You are a very wise young woman indeed.

A wise head on young shoulders - very rare indeed.

Charles Crosby AKA yes2truth


Gin Delloway profile image

Gin Delloway 7 years ago

Nice hub. Nice advice.


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Thanks for the Compliment and Opinion Robubba. I am happy you liked it.


Robubba 7 years ago

OMG! I LOVE you!

This is one of the best reads about women since Laura Slech(whatever)'s "Proper Care and Feeding for Husbands". TYTYTYTYTY! And about the nagging, I'm told that all a woman should have to do is ask once, and keep an eye out to thank her husband the instant it gets done. Men will usually do it faster the next time. =P


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Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Thanks for the nice comment fastfreta.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California

Very, very, good hub. This is one of those hubs that new wives, yes, and even older wives,(smile), need to bookmark.


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Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Thanks Peter Dickinson, 4notherBlogg3r, barryrutherford, Shalini Kagal and Izombiheartzoey for the Comments.


Izombiheartzoey profile image

Izombiheartzoey 7 years ago

I wouldn't want a wife like that.


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 7 years ago from India

Great hub Anamika - a wonderful recipe for a happy marriage :)


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barryrutherford 7 years ago from Queensland Australia

Excellent advice !


4notherBlogg3r profile image

4notherBlogg3r 7 years ago

Great article being a wife. All wife around the world must read this sister :)

Thanks for the post.


Peter Dickinson profile image

Peter Dickinson 7 years ago from South East Asia

Thanks Anamika...I enjoyed that, If ever my life gets less complicated I might just head back to India to marry.


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Thanks Jay for your appreciation.


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

Lady_E : I have written this hub keeping in mind an indian wife. You are quite riht about that the indian woman have high family values and marriages in india are meant for a life time.Thanks for the nice comment.

dohn121 : Try dating indian woman. You may find many of this qualities.Thanks for the visit.

Emmayaf : Happy that you liked it.

Mahesh : One gets wiser with age and experience. I have always been a relationship expert with friends.Thanks for the nice comment.


jayb23 profile image

jayb23 7 years ago from India

Beautiful Hub Anamika. Bookmarked. The day i decide to get married, the first thing i shall do is make my wife read this article. Cheers


Mahesh 7 years ago

Great Annamika jee, You write like a life guru.Thanks for posting this.


Emmayaf profile image

Emmayaf 7 years ago

very nice hub,seriously.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

You always have such good, wholesome, sound advice! Would you please email me when you find a girl like this? I want to meet her and give it a go! Thank you for sharing;)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 7 years ago from London, UK

This is lovely Anamika and I admire the deep humility Indian women have for their hubby's. I know this is one of your 30 in 30 days hubs. Could you let me know where you registered for it or do you just start on your own and count 30 days? Thanks

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