How to deal with people who have broken your trust
Trust is such a basic ingredient for any relationship to work, be it a romantic relationship, platonic, best friends, family, relatives etc. Trust involves: trust in yourself, trust in the other people involved and trust in the universe.
I believe that all of us come to earth with some lessons to learn. We pick the lessons, we pick the players and the universe delivers the scenes and situations. All happy and excited before we get here; we forget all of that when we do get here and start wondering 'why does this have to happen? what did I do to deserve this?' We go through the agony, despair and oscillate between tears and anger, wondering how you will ever be able to forgive and trust that person again...and that may be the very lesson you came here to learn.
Trust seems to be a very fragile thing for many people and it can be broken easily -for example:
- promises not kept
- romantic partner or spouse cheats on you
- your child may promise not to do something and then repeats that behavior
- a friend or relative may freely share something you told them in total confidence
people may lie to you about something important to you
- you may have your money or some other item stolen by someone you trust
- Some person behaves in a manner that you did not expect them to
The scenarios can be many, and at such times, we have an emotional reaction to it- mild or severe depending on the 'context' in which the trust is broken for that person. Each person will have their own rating for the severity of the breach of trust. For someone a cheating spouse is worse than having money stolen, or having a child indulge in some sort of 'inappropriate behavior' seems a lot worse than some friend borrowing an article and never returning it.
How can I forgive that person who broke my trust?
Breach of trust seems impossible to forgive sometimes.
At such times I recommend just taking a step back from the situation. Observe your emotion and its intensity. Ask yourself why you have put yourself in that position. Before judging another ask yourself where you have broken trust- in relation to another or even to yourself. For example you promise a friend you'll call and you don't. Do not judge it as 'it was such a small thing, you can't take it seriously'. No matter how trivial the matter - it is still a promise not kept. You don't know that your friend may have waited and waited for you to call, maybe it was serious to her/him. When it is you breaking that trust no matter in how trivial a manner, you don't give it a second thought.
Often we make promises to ourselves that we cannot keep. We make resolutions that we forget. it could be simple things like- I'm never going to smoke a cigarette again and then you find yourself giving in to a craving; or start on a diet and then cheat and eat 'restricted' things. We don't take these breaches of promises and trust as seriously as we do a breach of trust by someone else. We are the offended party, we are the victims, the drama kings and queens.
Well, here is the news: our subconscious mind takes all things without question. If you habitually break promises to yourself, create a breach of trust for yourself, then according to your subconscious mind it is expected and acceptable behavior, and you will then find yourself in these situations over and over again, breaking trust and having your trust broken.
The first thing that you need to do is introspect. Find your your own breaches of trust for the universe is but a mirror, mirroring to you your own actions. Forgive yourself. Watch your words, don't make promises that you never intend to keep, no matter how trivial. If you are going back on your word, be consciously aware of the fact. Change your behavior with yourself, be loving and forgiving of yourself.
As you make these changes within, start being trustworthy to yourself and others, you will find them being reflected back to you, in relation to yourself and to other people.
Trust the universe
Trust that the Universe will bring to you the perfect situation for each of your lessons. It will never bring to you something that you are not in alignment with. The only way you can bring Trust in your life is to begin to create it in yourself first. The ways of the universe are also straightforward, only we do not perceive them to be so. In order to learn forgiveness, you will be put in a situation where you are required to forgive; maybe having your trust broken is one of them.
In conclusion I can say- get over it, forgive yourself and forgive the other. It is a lesson well learned.
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