How to deal with stress and tension in your married life?

‘Laughter can help relieve tension in even the heaviest of matters.’ -Allen Klein

“This is just not my day”. You say these words often when things do not go your way. How many times have you felt so in your married life? I am sure even the most adjustable couples feel the impact of tension sometimes. With the hectic life style you lead it is only natural to feel your nerves edgy and frayed.

But when you are always tensed and thrust your tension on your spouse your relationship becomes very difficult to handle. Unless you know the trick to handle your stress and tension you lose the peace and happiness of your marriage.

Morning tension is the worst kind of the stress you have in your married life. Why are you so tensed in the morning? It is because you begin the day thinking of problems you might face in your work place and end the day thinking of the tension you had with your colleagues and higher officials.

What sort of daily tensions you have in the morning?

  • You are edgy when you are late for work.
  • You feel your day is lost when your spouse starts an argument as soon as you wake up.
  • You are tensed when you think of the pending work.
  • You feel all tied up when your children misbehave at the wrong time.
  • You do not feel like eating when your spouse brings up financial matters while you are at the dining table.

These are the most common daily stress you experience in your married life. Being late for work is one of the top reasons for your morning tension.You begin the day with your nerves creeping thinking about the late arrival of transportation, traffic jam and the furiously contorted face of your higher officials when you are not in time.

Without you realizing it you become unreasonable and yell at your spouse and children as if they were the reason for your delay. You argue with your spouse for petty reasons and he\she argues back as he\she too is tensed and stressed for want of time. Both leave the house in a bad mood and you feel drained when you are at your work place.

This can be easily solved when you get up early in the morning. It makes you more relaxed as you gather a few hours of time to do your work at your own pace. Yet another habit that relieves your morning tension is to make certain basic preparations the night before itself for the next day.

You should keep the files in one place so that you need not keep searching for it and tying yourself into a knot. Select the dress and also the accessories before hand as it saves you from precious time being lost in searching for an apt dress to wear for work. Shoes polished and socks ready is yet another less morning tension.

Children can make you wild when they are lethargic when starting for school. They are completely disorganized, calling out to you for everything, running around without getting ready which make you rattled with anger. You shout at your spouse for not helping you out and instead of working together you make it a big issue to fight with him\her.

Your children should be taught to do the bedding as soon as they get up. You must see to it that they do their homework the day before itself and not hurriedly do it in the morning. You clench your teeth in frustration when they call for their shoes, tie and socks. When you teach them basic ways to look after themselves and appreciate their neatness, they are more than willing to oblige you.

Do not have too much pending office work as this makes you very tensed and shaky when you start from home. You fear the lashing tongue of your boss and your mind feels nervous of a tense day at work. Instead of relaxing and gathering your strength at home you make your spouse a culprit as if he\she was the reason behind your unfinished work.

Do not start any arguments at home as you begin the day with your heart beat accelerating in anger and frustration. Home is a place to relax and not your warring zone. Your spouse should be your stress reliever and not your boxing arena to thrust all your disappointment and frustration on him\her. Your tense day should be ‘one -of –your- bad- days’ and not ‘entire- state of-my- married- life.’

© 2014 mathira

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Comments 3 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

In my first marriage there was tension daily; today, with Bev, there is none. Did I grow up and learn from my mistakes? I would like to think so.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

Reading this hub was like opening a window to my life 15 years ago! Things are much quieter now. The children have graduated from high school and my husband is nearing retirement. For the first time in our lives, the stress level has gone down instead of up! The suggestions you have given here were lifesavers to me then, and I continue to use them today. Getting up early, organizing clothing and backpacks the day before, avoiding talking about stressful things during meals, and keeping work at work were all helpful during that difficult time of our lives!


mathira profile image

mathira 2 years ago from chennai Author

Tension and stress are always by products of our mind and dealing with it is easy if we really want to tackle it. Thank you for the visit, denise.

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