How to handle long distance relationship?
‘On a silent night when friends are few , I close my eyes and think of you, a silent night, a silent tear, a silent wish you were here’
Are you depressed that you and the person you ardently love have to work in different countries? Do you feel the ache of not being able to see each other? You are stressed with emotional longing for the day to dawn when you can be with him\her. But you can feel and enjoy love even though distances separate you.
How to make your relationship thrive?
If you were working in a different country some few years ago, the longing to see other would have been much greater than what you experience now. There were no mobile phones, internet or web cameras. But today with the advent of such modern technology, you can stay connected with each other even though you are thousands of miles away.
But even with such facilities available there are times when you feel the strain of keeping your love alive. You create lots of tension in your relationship by many unthinking mistakes.
What are the mistakes you make when you interact with him\her?
- You make him\her tensed by your suspicious nature and ask probing questions for non existent issues.
- You make your relationship tough by being unreasonable and controlling.
- You turn possessive and feel others are enjoying time with him\her while you are not there and this makes you ask unnecessary questions in frenzied jealousy.
- You are worried about the financial issues and how the money he\she earns is being handled without your presence.
- You demand to know his\her financial status which only kindles anger and frustration in him\her.
- You make a big issue out of a small change in his\he voice and the urgency to finish the conversation. You do not trust him\her enough to understand that he\she might be with others that makes him\her sound reserved.
Many doubts make you assume the worst about your relationship and you work yourself up that your love is moving towards failure. Such doubts complicate your relationship as uncertainties can cause many resentment and mental agony.
When you reside in different places, the distance in miles in no way intrudes into your love, it is differences in the way you handle your distance that matters.
The trust you have in each other should never falter as when you lose trust you have many misgivings about your relationship. Since you not know what is happening on the other side, it becomes easy for you to assume misconstrued things about him\her.
When you call him\her you should not ask probing questions to satisfy your doubts. When your love is strong you never have doubts. Small talking about mild matters lengthens your conversation than when you talk only about important matters. You can share what is happening in your side and inquire about his\her life.
You should also understand that he\she has work to do and you should not call during work hours and pester him\her for attention. You should never forget the birthdays as it is a golden opportunity to show your love and that you keep remembering him\her. You can buy things he\she likes and make him\her happy. Sending cakes has become easy nowadays and the personalized words can show your love emphatically.
Modern technology has made it easy to see each other and talk. It is as if you are together and it gives you pleasure to see the person you love when you talk. You can discuss plans about your life after marriage. It is very exciting and interesting when you both visualize your future life together.
Do not bring down his\her mood by being pessimistic when you talk. It makes him\her worried and stressed that he\she is not in person to help you handle it. When you are assertive and confident to handle any tough situation he\she feels peaceful that you have the courage to deal with whatever issues that might come your way.
Do not become problematic by cribbing how much you are missing him\her. While your love increases when you express the yearning to be together, your persistent cribbing can make him\her feel completely put off.
It is very easy to be understanding and show your love when you see each other personally. But when you live apart and can only contact through mobile or web camera, your love should be true and unshakeable to survive. Do not get into meaningless flings which eventually destroy your relationship.
‘I’ll hold you in my heart, till I can hold you in my arms.’- Anonymous
Love can travel distances and withstand loneliness. Wait with patience and love with endurance even though miles separate you. The happiness you feel when you see other after such longing is worth the wait.
© 2014 mathira
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