How to make a marriage successful?

Often things start great just after marriage (whether it is arranged or love). Life is new and spicy.....but as things go on, feelings on being monotonous grips people. They feel as though they are seeing the same old face, eating the same old food, and have already become old. The charm of marriage suddenly disappears. Some of the basic facts are:

  • Couples fail to give due importance to each other like before and start taking their presence for granted.
  • Try to spend less time with each other or start giving excuses of work, etc.
  • Start misunderstanding each other and fail to retain that charm that was there initially.

Whether you are married or just starting a relationship, privacy and space are extremely important. You cannot just take the other person for granted. People start getting overpossessive at times and the other person starts feeling suffocated. Men often order women, not to go here and there or talk to him or her. This is the most important reason we see wives snapping bonds of friendships because their husbands were very fussy!! Now that is very bad since the girl is already leaving her home for the guy and it shows a highly conservative nature of the guy.

I LOVE YOU

Yes, saying the three magical words, ‘I love you’ to your spouse really keeps the magic going on. Sending flowers as a surprise or calling in the middle of the day, does not really feel like a Bollywood or Hollywood type of romance even if you are 50 years old. Trust me, these are very practical... just that you have to shed that hesitation from your mind.

Taking your spouse to restaurants on weekends, not just anniversaries, taking a break from work and going for some romantic memorable holidays, etc. are just not things for early ages...

A surprise phone call for your wife, or a bouquet of flowers to show love... or celebrating occasions like ‘Rose day’ or ‘Valentine’s day’ or making something for her (handmade) are some means to recapture the lost magic.

There are dozens of things which people can think to impress your spouse.

BE CALM AND UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER’S NEEDS

Too much misunderstanding or argument is very bad for any relationship. Having discussions on a topic is fine, but exaggerating it or having a heated debate is not. If there is some argument, take a break. Have a glass of chilled juice or a drink and take a walk in a park. Come back when both of you are normal. Sometimes, say sorry, even if it is not your fault. This helps to make the other person realize faster. Statements like, “See, I am sorry if what I said made you angry, but I only said that, ..... for your happiness” really help. Try to resolve heated debates with least amount of conversation. No marriage is complete without arguments and some fights... but then, too much of anything is bad!!

KEEP PRIVACY IN YOUR PRIVATE MATTERS

If you are having a discussion, then keep it within you two. It is your private matter. Your neighbours should not become uninvited spectators here. In fact, your parents or especially children should not hear them. Children learn from parents and their maturity comes from what they learn from their parents, so a child with constantly yelling and fighting parents is bound to become paranoid and have an unstable, emotionally insecure future. Any argument should remain within the boundaries of the room. If you want to talk regarding something, ensure it is out of the hearing of the children and talk in a low pitch within a room and nothing beyond that room. Give proper space and chance for the other to explain his/her point. Misunderstanding, right away, or being bossy is not the way to discuss anything.

Finally, any marriage works on certain compromises and sacrifices. You may not always be right or wrong, but let it be. Sometimes, with time, issues get resolved, which you may not be able to handle right away.

Love and live together forever..

Break the barriers between you and give her the long-waited kiss.
Break the barriers between you and give her the long-waited kiss.
Send her flowers to arouse that feeling of togetherness again. Dance with each other. Listen to good music.
Send her flowers to arouse that feeling of togetherness again. Dance with each other. Listen to good music.
Love each other and your kids will love you too.
Love each other and your kids will love you too.
Write him those three magical words "I love you". Communicate with each other, no one should come between you, not even air.....
Write him those three magical words "I love you". Communicate with each other, no one should come between you, not even air.....
See the inspiration you are getting from here. This is the oldest couple alive on this planet, think on how they have passed their life together.
See the inspiration you are getting from here. This is the oldest couple alive on this planet, think on how they have passed their life together.

SPENDING QUALITY TIME IS HIGHLY ESSENTIAL

Work is very important but so is spending time with each other. Do not bring your office work to home (this is not achievable in today’s time so here time management is a hint). Time at home is meant to be spent with family members. Ensure to spend at least two hours with your spouse and children, no matter how busy you are. People normally spend time with TV sets rather than their bedroom. There should be no TV in the bedroom (this is not true for all, as some people will find it really boring to not have TV inside their bedroom. You can watch a movie or a comedy show to laugh together). But the point here is talk to each other. It could be about anything like ‘what he did today’ or ‘what she did today’.

LACK OF COMMUNICATION SHOULD BE AVOIDED

Talking is the best thing, which not only keeps a couple intact, but makes them feel that the channel for communication is still open. Problems arise when, that channel appears to be closed and hence, communication with each other becomes very stringent. All you need is dedication and interest in your spouse. Gently lying in your spouse’s arms and talking and giving time to him/her is not only romantic but also extremely pleasing and relieves stress. In this way, more than half of your problems will get solved.

SEX IS AS IMPORTANT IN A MARRIED LIFE AS FOOD FOR OUR BODY

Another big factor is SEX. Now I do not mean to be rude here, but people, especially in India, feel as though sex is a weird and occasional thing. Unfortunately, people have so many misconceptions regarding sex that they fail to realize its importance in married life. Body and mind have their needs and a regular sex is no big deal. In fact, people have their own minds regarding it, as though it is some festive thing. Spending quality time with each other and having regular sex is very important and hypocrisy in this matter is never good. The pleasure of sex can be understood only by someone who does not lust for body, but understands that physical relationship is something that enshrines love with luster. Sex is not a 2-minute game, but an art to master. It is more about giving pleasure.

RESPECT THE FEELINGS OF YOUR SPOUSE

  • Respect each other and each other’s feelings. The sanctity of any marriage lies in giving respect.
  • Even children learn to give respect when they see their parents respecting each other.

YOU ARE SPECIAL

All want to be special. It is this feeling of being ‘special’ that brings people together. You will definitely like the person who treats you specially. It is also similar in married life. Life partners should respect each other’s feelings and treat them special.

DO NOT LET EGO COME IN BETWEEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

The most important rule everyone should remember in a relationship is there should be no place for ego and both should accept each other the way they are without expecting any change in them for other’s satisfaction. Instead both should move one step forward and make each other happy. One should not look at self-satisfaction, but the other partner’s satisfaction is very important. It is all about giving pleasure. In this way, both are working for each other. Then, there is always love and blessing relation till the end of life.

YOU SHOULD BECOME GOOD FRIENDS

The biggest thing in a marriage is that the relationship of a husband and wife should be like true friends. This leads to closeness and understanding. You share a lot of things with your friends that you might not be able to share with your spouse, so if the spouse becomes your friend, then there would be more friendliness between couples. If the two have mutual understanding, there is nothing that can disturb the peace between them.

EXTERNAL FORCES WORK ONLY WHEN THE INNER WALLS ARE WEAK

Here external forces mean the outside people or factors and inner walls mean you, your partner, and your love. In a marriage, you should share everything with your spouse. Sometimes, when you have certain mood changes, you do not want to be disturbed and need some time alone. At this point, it is extremely necessary that the other partner understands this and give some space.

NEVER TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT THE MARRIAGE PROPOSALS YOU RECEIVED IN FRONT OF YOUR PARTNER

Talking too much about the marriage proposals you received can create a disaster type of situation. In countries like India, wives use a statement which hurts the ego of a husband and it is “I received better marriage proposals than the present one but I am unfortunate that I landed up with you”. Do not think that I am a male and this is the reason I am favouring husbands here. Even a husband does several things that hurt the ego of his wife. The point here is that this should be avoided.

Above were some tips to make a marriage successful. Your input is also extremely necessary to be written in the comments section below. So go ahead and share your views. Let us make this article a discussion board where we can talk regarding making a marriage successful.

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I am sure you wanna say something, do not hesitate, express your feelings here. Communication is important 39 comments

pankaj3625 profile image

pankaj3625 7 years ago from Delhi

Wow, really wonderful steps to make a married life successful. A great answer for my question.


izettl profile image

izettl 7 years ago from The Great Northwest

Very real life points about marriage. I agree most with the points about taking the time to do something special or make the other person feel special- and not just on birthdays and anniversaries. I wish more men would pay attention to that one!


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 7 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Thanks Pankaj and Izetti for visiting and reading out this hub with great detail as it is expressed through the points you have put in in your comments but Izetti not only men but women should also pay attention to this aspect of life.


natia2105 profile image

natia2105 7 years ago

A very lovely hub on keeping marriages alive..I agree with you that couples should take a break once in a while from the routine and vanish from the face of earth with only time for each other...it really helps a lot.... it is my real life experience....


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 7 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Thanks Natia for reading and understanding this hub and the lovely relationship (marriage). Thank you very much for agreeing that taking a break from your usual activities at work and home and going somewhere out with your honey helps in maintaining marriage on a long-term basis.


Lgali profile image

Lgali 7 years ago

I find COMMUNICATION is important point


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 7 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Yes communication and mutual understanding, companionship, love are all important for a successful married life.


linjingjing profile image

linjingjing 7 years ago

How to make a marriage successful_

Funny article


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 7 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Yes linjingjing. life is funny and marriage is funny too but a satisfied person can find fun anywhere....


surferwife 7 years ago

I believe closeness, understanding, love, friendship, companionship, sex, communication, respect are all very important to a marriage. I really liked this hub and will save it for my husband to read.

I print out every hub that I believe will benefit us as an evolving couple and then each morning my husband and I spend 1/2 hour having coffee and reading articles together, that is our time, while the kids are still sleeping :) and we get some great ideas from these articles to better our relationship. We've been married for 13 years and are still trying to achieve a better relationship as they are always in a state of growth.


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 7 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Hi surferwife your comment has put a smile on my face because after reading your comment, I feel I have done some thing for humanity by writing out this hub. I have received several emails via hubpages thanking me for writing out the tips on how to make a marriage successful. I am smiling now because you are happy and when your husband will read it, both of you will come more close to each other. I am very thankful to you that you have taken a print. What a simple writer like me needs is admiration of the work done and you have done that. You have inspired me to write more useful hubs like this in the future. Thanks once again for your kindness and support.

By the way, I am going to write a hub on a latest hub request on Teen Parenting Issues, do read it if you have time. Bye for now.


Kmadhav profile image

Kmadhav 7 years ago from New delhi

Gr8 hub soni2006 ...you include all those points which every couple should follow in their married life. yes you are true life is different when you are bachelor and when you married its also different . But it is all depend on you what you wants hell or heaven.. above all great tips......In my opinion trust and communication is the key of successful married life. I am send these hub to my few married they really need to read this hub......

http://www.stellarinfo.com


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 7 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Thank you very much Mr. Kmadhav for reading out and sending this hub to your friends. Send this hub through the share-it button below and email to all your friends. You will get first 120 minutes free for every visit and adsense revenue generated on this hub.


mrsceo profile image

mrsceo 7 years ago from Wisconsin

I love this hub! Thank you so much for taking the time write all of this detail and to try to help marriages! Great great information!


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 7 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Thanks for giving love to this hub and your kindness and support.


shah kamal 7 years ago

good hub and information.

http://fashion-worldnews.blogspot.com


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 7 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Thanks a lot Shah Kamal.


kiran24 6 years ago

Thanx! I ahd a rough situation yesterday and wanted to clear my mind. I was mostly responsible for the situation but did not take control. result had an outburst, a violent one, in front of my two lovely kids. I am full shamr and remorse now. But after reading this it helped a bit. I just want to know how to make the hurt and trauma less for teh kids coz i have made a promise to myself that such an episode will never be repeated in the future. i have apologised to my hubby and my kids but would like to know how to overcome the guilt and the shame for having subjected my kids to such ugliness? Please help!!


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 6 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Hi Kiran, these things happen sometimes and could not be avoided because sometimes there is a sudden rush of anger growing inside you and that needs to be released or can have worse effects in the future. The main thing is that it happened in front of your lovely kids and that is a bit concerning. Kids tend to forget things like this very fast because they want to see their parents together so don't worry about whatever happened between with your hubby and you. You have already said sorry and might be that your husband has forgiven you. The most important thing now is to just spread love in your family. Go for an outing together, in some parks, malls, movies, out of station if you want, anything and forget about that instance. I know it is difficult but do it for your kid's sake. Tell your husband about this in a positive way. Tell him how you are feeling and how you want to show love in front of your kids. The more love you will show between you, your hubby, and kids, the most positive your kids will grow. Kids learn from us. Also take a printout of the above article and show it to your hubby. Let him read it once. This will calm him down. Best of luck Kiran24. Have a happy and prosperous family.


sidhi 6 years ago

HEY iam just newly merried i like this topic n got information.THANKS iwill work on respect n write its result.


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 6 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Best of luck for your married life Sidhi. Do tell us about your results.


Kamran100 profile image

Kamran100 6 years ago

perfect hub. really useful information, indication correct elements for successful marriage life...thumb up


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 6 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

I am happy that you found this hub useful. Thanks Kamran.


Gracie 6 years ago

I'm so sad and stupid...I was dating my husband for 7 yrs and living together for 3 yrs. For 9 yrs together we get married and now it's gonna be 5th month as a real husband and wife but our relationship getting worst than ever since we got married., always fight and seems he doesn't care at all..my problem to my husband he is not providing me financially and always made me cry. I want to leave him but I cannot cause I love him but everything's wrong about our marriage...please help what to do..


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 6 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Gracie, have you checked the other corner of the story. Might be possible that your husband is having financial problems right now and if you have already checked and you have proof that he has got money and not sharing with you than you need to grow up and start earning money on your own. What's a big deal in this. Millions of women around the world are earning their livings on their own without the help of their partners.

If he is not spending money at household expenses and putting all the burden on your shoulders, then definitely he is making a fool of you. If this case, you need to be brave and talk with your husband directly about your problems. Tell him politely that you need to spend this much amount of money at home expenses; otherwise, life is impossible for you both.

Let me know what happens after this.


Nidhi  6 years ago

You will not believe but before today I had never tried to read such articles but today was a real bad day for me and my husband and while I am writing to you,I am actually in tears. We have just come back from our holiday and it did not work because we fought there and wasted the little time that could have cherished.After reading your article, I feel a little motovated to start it afresh and would definitely want my husband to go through your suggestions. Might work for us.


Broken Hubby 5 years ago

I don't exhibit any of these qualities. I didn't even want to get married. What can I do to fix myself to make the marriage work after I said I do?

I married someone who was my best friend but I think I ruined both the friendship and the marriage by doing so.


meeka.sunny profile image

meeka.sunny 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I believe that in order to have a successful marriage you have to be happy single first. If you are not happy being single, how can you be happy when you have someone. You need to offer self confidence, happiness and true love before you can have a successful marriage.


Miss Paula profile image

Miss Paula 5 years ago

I have been married for almost 18yrs. And I tell my husband every morning and every night that I love him,and he does the same,we never go to bad mad at each other,we try and work it out because you never know what tomorrow holds.


TheMonk profile image

TheMonk 5 years ago from Brazil

I enjoyed reading this. It´s always fun to know I´m doing things right. Voted up!


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 5 years ago from New Delhi, India Author

Thank you so much Nidhi, Broken Hubby, meeka.sunny, Miss Paula, and TheMonk for sharing your experience on how to make a marriage successful.


HappyWife 5 years ago

Great Hub! I've lived the last 12 years in pure bliss as my husbands wife. Communication, trust, intimacy, friendship, support and space are very important. My husband and I do not nag at all and smile at each other through out the day. Neither my husband and I ever expect anything from each other. We both go out of our way to make each other happy. It's very important to fulfill each others needs and communication is a must in this area.


sourabh 5 years ago

Hi Rajinder. very interesting topic you mentioned here but in my opinion How to make a marriage successful is still a myth :P:P:P but you provide very good tips in your hub thanks to you dear .


pelt545 profile image

pelt545 5 years ago from Hampton Roads, VA

The keys to a successful marriage are: openness, honesty, unconditional love, and respect. If couples have any or all of these qualities, their relationship will last longer.


muskaan 5 years ago

hi myself muskaan n i m quiet upset because i dont know that my hubby loves me or not. we r together for last 5 yrs bt he alys shouted on me when he want he do as his wish i tried my level best bto make him happy but he alys start fight i m helpless


AshtynA profile image

AshtynA 4 years ago

I agree. I was married for 8 years and while we were best friends, our inner walls were thin and it hindered the relationship. Communication is key! Being able to share everything is something I learned is essential.

Thanks for the post.


nina64 profile image

nina64 4 years ago from chicago, Illinois

Your hub is great!!!!! I'm definitely picking up some hints from your article on how to make my marriage better. I truly believe in my marriage vows!!!!!! I can say that I have truly found my best friend, lover, partner in my husband. Marriage is hard work. Both husband and wife need to make the necessary adjustments in order for their relationship to work. Also, both parties need to be willing to compromise and accept each others differences. In areas where I'm weak; my husband is strong and vice versa. It's like we compliment each other. One of my aunt's reminded me to remember why me & my husband got married in the first place. Sometimes, we have disagreements and in the end we always say that we're sorry. I could go on & on because this is such a teriffic topic that you have written. Keep up the good work.


aryasamajtemple profile image

aryasamajtemple 4 years ago from Delhi

wow its really great hubpages


soni2006 profile image

soni2006 20 months ago from New Delhi, India Author

Thank you so much for your motivation friends. I am glad the above tips helped you.

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