How to make your long distance Relationship last

As we continue to advance in civilization, long distance relationships are constantly becoming more common. Some times distance comes at a time when it's least expected and becomes a huge challenge in an otherwise healthy relationship. On the other hand, Some relationships start out as long distance like those in which people meet over the internet. Regardless of the circumstances, the fact is that many of these relationships fail to last beyond the second anniversary. This does not mean however that it is impossible to make it work out for you. Remember that every relationship is unique. That it didn't work out for some one you know, doesn't mean it will be the same for you. Here are some things you can do to make it last;

How to sustain a long distance relationship

Try to be trusting and faithful

Trust is a key factor in any relationship. And if it is reciprocated and then complimented with mutual faithfulness, love is bound to flourish. I have learned through painful experience that if a long distance relationship is to thrive the players must understand that it is healthier to trust than to be suspicious. Unless there is outstanding evidence that your partner is being unfaithful (and the truth can never be concealed for long) you will be safer trusting your partner rather than basing suspicions on minor mishaps such as delayed text replies or unanswered phone calls. 75% of all assumptions and suspicions we make about our partners when they are away from us are usually wrong, and this is mostly attributed to paranoia. There is one universal fact to all relationships. “He or she is with you because they like you enough and have chosen to be with you.” If for some reason they stop liking you, there will be little you can do to reverse their feelings, and you will be better off moving on and trying your luck elsewhere. So stop working yourself up imagining what they are doing when they are not on the phone with you. These imaginations will most often be on the negative and will cause unnecessary suspicion. Suspicion will make you depressed and will turn you into a bitter person, and then you will ruin the time you are supposed to enjoy together on the phone. To be suspicious is a normal human trait aimed at protecting ones feelings and thus cannot be completely avoided. But open communication with your partner should be the first line solution to the problem, rather than creepy investigations and gossip.

Stay in touch regularly

Long distance relationships usually lack the warmth of physical presence and intimacy , which puts a lot of strain on both partners. Most healthy relationships thrive on affection and companionship. The only way to have this in such a relationship is regular contact through phone calls, e-mail, and other platforms such as social media. You must create time for quality conversation at least ounce a day. Share experiences, give each other tasks to do. Exchange sweet texts, and avoid fighting over the phone. This will help fill the loneliness gaps.

Make some time to Meet

Even if you're living across the world from each other, it is important to create time for the two of you to meet every ounce in a while. It is the only way to keep hope in the relationship. Physical intimacy is vital for every story of romance and the lack of it in your relationship can lead to temptations that can damage the relationship over time.

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Keep your mind occupied

It is true what they say. “An idle mind is the devils workshop” in order to avoid all the whining from the baseless suspicions, you need to find activities that will keep your mind occupied and help spend all the energy that would otherwise turn into unhealthy imaginations. You will need to avoid being alone for very long hours. So keep all your friends close and have fun with them. This will help subdue the lonely feelings. If you enjoy sports, that is a great starting point. Participate in those activities that bring out the best in you and make you feel valuable and attractive. This will improve your self-esteem and will boost your confidence.

Allow yourself to notice and appreciate the beautiful people out there. Your relationship should never feel like some sort of trap or prison. Flirting is healthy and a very important aspect of human life. It will help you remember that you are still attractive and valuable to many other people. So in case he /she takes you for granted, you are not at loss.

Last but not least, keep a healthy relationship with God ( if you are religious). There is proof beyond reasonable doubt that there is a God out there and that he cares about you, and your relationship with your partner. He in fact is the only one who knows for sure whether your relationship is meant to last for a lifetime. To make the relationship work, you'll need plenty of patience and strong will to resist advances from those attractive suitors around you. Your human might is likely to fail you. You will therefore need to constantly pray to God ,to help you and your partner develop the patience required to keep your bodily desires at bay, and also to keep your soul-mate safe for you.


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3 comments

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 18 months ago

Long distance relationships were meant to be {temporary}!

The goal is to be with the one you love!

You must define what is "making a long distance relationship work."

Do you mean it leads to a marriage or is it just a certain amount of time as in a year, two years, or three years...etc?

The problem with the vast majority of couples in long distance relationships is (they have no timeline or plan for when they will be together permanently.)

At some point someone has to make a move. A long distance relationship without “a light at the end of the tunnel” is likely to fail.

It’s the counting down the months, weeks, and days until you are finally done with the inconvenience of being in a long distance relationship that keeps it strong!

The only reason for being in a long distance relationship is the belief she or he might be “the one”. If you’re just passing the time with someone you might as well do that locally.

One man's opinion!:)


ian 12am profile image

ian 12am 18 months ago Author

It is true that a big fraction of relationships out there regardless of whether they are long distance or not are for convenience. But I prefer to address relationships in which the couples are aiming at stable companionship. It doesn't matter whether it will lead to legal marriage or just cohabiting. the point am making is aimed at couples looking for a relationship with healthy longevity, hope, mutual objectives and respect.


Edward J. Palumbo profile image

Edward J. Palumbo 18 months ago from Tualatin, OR

To maintain or deepen a long-distance relationship last requires a mutual understanding and commitment to that relationship, a willingness to accept the conditions of the relationship, and an honest effort to communicate. With military personnel on deployment, the spouses must accept that separation and distance is part of the commitment, and this is often easier to accept in concept than it is in reality. It helps to know how long the separation will last. Is this an 8 or 13-month deployment, a semester, an academic year, a summer vacation? A relationship is fueled by communication, and a genuine effort to communicate is helpful. A talent for written communication is helpful, because both parties cannot hear vocal clues or inflection, the rising tones or changes in pitch that further clarify the spoken message. Exercises of dry humor, meant to be sardonically funny or ironic, may read very differently. Objectively reread what you've written. Telephone messages and e-mails should be encouraging and uplifting, not depressing, desperate or conditional. Focus on the future, when you'll be reunited, not on the growing length of time you've been apart. Toss ideas back and forth about the days ahead, what you look forward to or hope for, and invite a response. The other person may not share the same vision, and that exchange of ideas should not be discouraged. If one's romantic visions or hopes are not shared, if the commitment to the relationship isn't mutual, we do well to learn that during the period of separation or the reunion will not go well. Let your conduct in the course of that separation be consistent with your expressed commitment and your continued support or understanding of the relationship. Accept the possibility that relationships are redefined because of separation; it can deepen or wither; be prepared for either possibility.

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