How to move on after the death of a loved one

Both my mom and one of my closest friends died in 2003, and it took me awhile to stop being angry and grieving on a pretty much constant basis.

To begin with, I was shocked and hurt at their deaths. The shock lasted several months in my case, due to the manner in which each of them died.

When grief came, it hit hard. I would break down crying at simple, everyday things - the card aisle in the store, stacked with Mother's Day cards; or a song on the radio that we'd had a private joke about. Sometimes I would run into people who didn't know about the death, but had known one of them casually. They would ask after her, and the painful explanations would follow.

Now it's 2008. Five years have passed, and I am accustomed to their absence.

The only real answer I can give you is: time. You will grieve, you must grieve. But go on living your life, doing all the things that need to be done. Try to go out with your friends - eventually the pantomimed motions of enjoyment will become real.

Remember that you are not dishonoring their memory by smiling or laughing and continuing on. If they loved you, then they wanted you to be happy. It will always hurt a little when you think of them, when you look at your life and see what they have missed. This is part of human growth.

Trust me, you don't want to "get over" the death of a loved one. That would be tantamount to forgetting them. You want to honor their memory by continuing with a rich and full life that they would be proud of.

More by this Author

  • An Open Letter | To Absent Fathers

    Bit of a rant about men who have sex (always a risk of pregnancy with that) then try to duck out of financial and/or emotional obligations.

  • Monogamy or Polyamory?

    Under the umbrella of the term "polyamory", there are different definitions of what a non-monogamous relationship is comprised of. Without going into too much depth on the internal politics and definitions of...

  • I started smoking to fit in.

    I started smoking in 1995 to fit in with the group of kids I hung out with. I quit in 2000 just because. I started again in 2005 to get away from stressful situation. I quit in early 2009 because the price went up by a...

Comments 1 comment

pure_buen 8 years ago

thank you for your response to my hub request. it is good and enlightened me.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article