How to spice up a dead sex life....with your prude wife

Is your wife or partner a prude? Are you constantly being turned down for sex? If so you are probably thinking that your wife is prude. Well the truth is, your wife is more than likely not prude but rather unhappy with you or your relationship. If either of those is the case then that is the reason she is not putting out. You should communicate with her to find out exactly what is bothering her. Was it something you did? Is she just bored in the bedroom? Is she still in love with you? Does she need change? Does she feel unappreciated? Does she feel that you respect her? Or is it something that has nothing to do with you at all and is an issue she has personally with herself? If a woman is not comfortable in her own skin or is feeling unattractive or insecure about herself, more than likely she will not be in the mood for sex.

You need to make sure that she knows you are still in love with her and that you still think she is incredibly sexy. That you only want her and that nobody can make you feel the way she does. Relationships can start feeling like a routine after time if you let them. Just because you give her a quick kiss on the way out the door before work and say "love ya" doesn't mean that she really knows how much you truly adore her. You need to show her you love her with your actions as well as words.

Make her feel sexy and appreciated. Cook her favorite meal and have a nice relaxing dinner. Rub her feet after work or give her a massage. Compliment her. Tell her she looks hot in that dress or how great her legs look. Tell her you love the way her hair smells. Notice things about her that you usually don't. Did she get a new purse or haircut? Tell her it looks great. Be romantic and draw her a bath with rose petals and candles. Take her on a romantic vacation that is just the two of you. Get to know each other again. Do not be selfish in the bedroom. She likes oral sex also. If not then you arent doing it right. Instead of always wanting her to go down on you, surprise her with the opposite and be satisfied just knowing you pleasured her. Don't expect anything in return.

If you explain to her what you like and go slow and do not scare her away with all of your secret freak tendencies all at once she might slowly be okay with it. Express your wants and needs with her.

Be sweet to her and show her that you love and desire her. Make her heart melt and she will want to be intimate with you.

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Comments 24 comments

dejavu profile image

dejavu 7 years ago from California

Thank you Ash...this does help


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

I'll keep this in mind for good measure. But so far..it's been smooth sailing :D


Borsia 7 years ago

Good advise, just remember that it is a 2 way street and he shouldn't be the only one working to make it better.

Relationships take a lot of tender care and constant feeding.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

Uhm, hi ashley. where do I begin? I still got a bunch of freak tendencies in the closet, how much longer should I wait to bring them out, or would you recommend in my case to always keep them there?


Noway 7 years ago

Yeah, when the hell does she start rubbing my goddam feet to get sex? #^W% that. Go find someone who doesn't insist on all sorts of chores before giving it up.


sukkran profile image

sukkran 7 years ago from TRICHY, TAMIL NADU, INDIA.

great hub. greater ideas. greatest tips. thks ashley


privateye2500 profile image

privateye2500 6 years ago from Canada, USA, London

...freak tendencies...? lol

HOW freakish?


privateye2500 profile image

privateye2500 6 years ago from Canada, USA, London

...freak tendencies...? lol

HOW freakish?


turducken 6 years ago

I've done all that stuff and then some. Nothing works. Guess I'm screwed. No pun intended.


shawn 6 years ago

Why the F%%$ do I have to clean the house, rub her back, etc. To have sex?


Doug K 6 years ago

B.S.

I've tried this going on 3 years now. So far all that's happened is I'm still the only one bringing the cash into the house, but I also make all the meals on the weekends, pack the kids school lunches, make dinner 2 week nights, clean the bathrooms and vacuum the upstairs. I do about 30% of the laundry, and all the lawn care.

She still can't find 2 minutes to put on a bit of lingerie once in a blue moon.


jster 6 years ago

I am beginning to believe that my wife has simply decided to be a prude and I have two choices. Accept that I will have a miserable non exsitant sex life or leave her. With the resentment from her lack of attention to my needs no matter how much I do for her and her needs. The obvious answer is leave her.


doinwithout 6 years ago

Oooo! There are a bunch of us caught like jster, Doug K, turducken.

Borsia, of course you are right. The age-old 'two way street' comment is a truism which presumably everyone will say yes to---but will this be reflected in actions between the couple? I, too, am frustrated. Patience gets to be s-t-r-u-n-g 0-- u - t. How can sexual interest be re-kindled in a partner who is too content without intimate episodes?


Jaynie2000 profile image

Jaynie2000 6 years ago

I always marvel at couples who have lost intimacy and can't seem to get it back. I feel really bad, especially for the one that wants it but can't get it. Excruciating! My feeling is that there is a HUGE difference between having a spouse and having a roommate. If you wanted a roommate, you wouldn't have gotten married...and you sure as hell wouldn't have to rub their feet! I do not believe one partner should have to work harder than the other at keeping the marriage alive. Marriage is a partnership. It should be 50/50. And it should not include manipulation and withholding of emotional and physical intimacy because someone didn't do their fair share of the vacuuming. Quite frankly, barring some medical complication, if you still love your spouse, why the heck wouldn't you want to experience a great sex life with them? Without the sex, you're nothing more than good friends...if you're even that anymore.

Best of luck to everyone trying to work through something this complicated. I hope it all works out the way you hope it does.


Woodie 6 years ago

Been there and done all that. She's still prude. To her sex is a 'reward' for doing nice things. BS I have had many lovers (mostly wives) during my 20 year marriage and it was all about the sex, no need to wine and dine them. Mine just wanted it to have kids, now it's not happening.


lonely hubby 5 years ago

What if she really is a prude? She tells you it's not about you, she is just not interested in sex. She will give me sex if I beg, but she just wants me to hurry up and get it over with. If I ask for sex 3 times in a month, she says, "is that all you think about?" I'm 44 and we've been married 18 years. During counseling I was told her sex drive would pick up at 30, then at 35, then at 40. So I would hold on, hoping things would eventually get better. It never has. We are 43 and 44. In a few years we will be empty nesters. I've often thought about leaving, but at this point, does it even matter any more. I could leave, and end up alone. No guarantees in life.


skunk 5 years ago

What a bunch of useless crap.


Mike 5 years ago

I have tried all of these things consitently,Not much change. She can't understand why I can't be happy with the same thing over and over.


sleeping alone 4 years ago

I :

Exercise

Play with the kids

Clean the house (vacuum, dishes, tidy, etc)

Do all the laundry

Drop off the kids

Pick up the kids

Cook 7 great suppers a week

Read the kids bedtime stories

Tell her she is beautiful

Rub her back

Rub her feet

Kiss her goodbye and hello

Find time to hug her

Put her through school

Pay her tuition

Earn the money (she has no job)

Sit her down and ask if everything is ok

Right now I feel used and cheap.

I need to just stop everything.

Be the jerk.

And get the sex . . .wherever


Getitng angry 4 years ago

I'm in the same boat as sleeping alone above. I DO ALL THE STUFF DESCRIBED IN THIS ARTICLE AND THEN SOME. I'm getting very angry, upset, and frustrated. I'm drifting ever so slowly toward cheating and I hate myself for it. BUT I NEED SOME GENUINE AFFECTION AND ACTION. HELP ME PLEASE SOMEONE!


Opposite end 4 years ago

As said, this works both ways. When my wife started this, I pulled the same on her. Luckily for me, I have the will power. When she wanted it, I expected her to rub my back, be nice to me, all the stuff she complained about...then I was accused of cheating since I'm supposed to have no self-control when it comes to sex. We eventually sat down, talked, and worked things out. Now, we don't have as much sex as I'd like at times or she would at times, but we have plenty and it is always fantastic.


Nat 3 years ago

Little did I know I married a prude! Everything seemed to be on her terms. She was always a certain way, one position, only dark in room, only in bed. After a couple of years of this I just gave up. That was over 40 years ago, I moved to the basement to be away from her. I don't associate with any more no interactions. For all I care she can just go away.


Tried it all 2 years ago

I have tried it all over the last 25 yrs. I give up, I can't even get hard for her now. I love her and we are best friends but the sex is not there.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Ashley,

Wow! Great work. Very in-depth and wonderful read.

This is an excellent piece of writing. To be totally-honest, it can easily be described as amazing.

I loved every word. Graphics were superb. This hub was helpful, informative and I found it very interesting.

Voted up and all the choices because you deserve it.

You have such a gift for writing. Keep writing no matter what.

Sincerely,

Kenneth Avery, Hamilton, Alabama

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