How to stop being taken for granted

Is it time you put your foot down and said "Hold on, I'm not going to be taken for granted anymore!"
Is it time you put your foot down and said "Hold on, I'm not going to be taken for granted anymore!" | Source

Being taken for granted is a horrible situation to be in, whether it is with your partner, friends, colleagues at work or relationships with other loved ones. Do you know why? Because there are really no immediate or quick fixes for this problem. You will need to take active steps that will create a solid platform for your personality and image. Here are steps that you can take and learn how to stop being taken for granted.

Note: Illustrative examples of how people can avoid being taken for granted, have been used to describe real life situations in this article. For the ease of explanation and readability, the name John has been used in each example.

Say no

One of the basic personality traits of people who are taken for granted is that they are unable to say no to others. If this sounds like you, it means that you are simply afraid that you may sound rude or arrogant if you say no. If you want to stop from being taken for granted, you will have to put this fear aside and put your foot down to say no should the need arise.

Example: if your friends expect you to be there every time they plan to hang out even if you are busy doing your own thing, say no for once. Your schedule and priorities should get priority over other unimportant things in life. Soon, your friends will realize that you will not shy away from not showing up and will stop taking your presence for granted.

Don't be nice all the time

Being nice to others should be the way we all behave. Unfortunately, it is often the case that people who are too nice or go overboard in being nice to other can be taken for granted. If you think that people are taking advantage of your niceness, it is time you hung up your nice boots and put on a firm attitude. Be nice, but use your discretion and firm up whenever required.

Example: If you are being nice and going out of your way to help fellow colleagues at work, they might take your niceness for granted. It might not be long before you hear "John, can you help me with this report?", "John, could you please see why my computer is not starting up" or "John, can you be a doll and help me prepare my presentation speech" all the time. Don't fall into this trap!

Face the people who take you for granted

Considered to be an effective way of dealing with being taken for granted at work, you could have a one-on-on chat with the people who you think are indulging into this nasty practice. Tell them clearly that you do not appreciate that your work and efforts in the office go unappreciated.

Example: If you think that your loving partner is unknowingly taking you for granted and the situation is getting out of hand, you can have a candid one-on-one conversation with them and say "Look John, I want to be there for you all the time. I want to help you in all possible ways that I can. But before you ask me for a favor, I'd appreciate it if you can give my schedule and work timings a quick thought" But make sure that you have a nice bottle of red wine and dim the lights before you say this!

Don't show up: Let your absence speak for itself

Whether it is work or your relationship with your partner and friends, you and your services play an integral part of things that make business or a relationship tick. If you think that you are being taken for granted, don't show up. Not literally, but the point it to make others realize how important you are in their lives or processes.

Example: If you are someone who is an integral part of the sales team, take a few days off near end of month. See how your team goes about meeting KPIs and targets. They will say "John, your absence during end of month really had a massive effect on the numbers. We now realize what a major difference your sales make to our overall performance"

Stop constantly putting yourself in other's shoes

Putting yourself in the shoes of others and having the wisdom to think how your actions are going to affect others is a rare and much appreciated talent. But are you over doing it? Many people often have the habit of asking themselves "How will they feel if I do this?" in each and every thing that they do or say. If you are one of them, you may want to cut this down because your friends or colleagues may take this very habit of yours for granted.

Make good decisions that you will stand by

The problem with making bad decisions is that you have to accept that you made a bad call if someone catches you off guard. Making good decisions, on the other hand gives you the confidence to do what you feel is right and lessens the chances of people around you to try to persuade you otherwise. Developing a habit to take good decisions will stop people from taking you for granted because they will have seen your ability to take the right call at the right time.

Example: "John, you agree that this is not going to be viable for us, don't you? Because the last time you vouched for a project that did not work out at all" Your colleagues at work may impose their views and opinions about a particular project your company is undertaking simply because you are known to not being able to come up with concrete decisions. This is as good as taking your opinion for granted, or not being counted at all.

Introspect

In your battle to stop being taken for granted, you should try and look for answers to the question, "Why am I being taken for granted?" There may be peculiar characteristic traits, situational elements or simply the presence of not-so-nice people around you. Give this whole scenario a quick introspection and if necessary, pen down your thoughts. Learn how to deal with the things that have given this situation a chance to arise and move on.

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Comments 18 comments

NiaG profile image

NiaG 5 years ago from Louisville, KY

Excellent advise. I learned a long time ago to say NO! It's made things a little less stressful for me. Good hub!


princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author

Nia

One of the first things that happen when we all learn to say no is that we feel relieved from the stress of succumbing to being taken for granted. It literally feels as if a big boulder has been lifted off from our shoulders! You've rightly pointed that out. What is more important is that you could relate to this advice. Thanks for stopping by on this hub.

Princesswithapen


davidkaluge profile image

davidkaluge 5 years ago

You the problem is that when I speak or write some people think that I sound rude because I do not let others to influence my opinion or belief.


family2010 profile image

family2010 5 years ago

I have taught myself, after completing the degree in the psychology field to step up for myself and say no for the things in my life that deserve to say no for.

Great Hub


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

I have learned to deal with this, but it has been a slow process.


princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author

Hi david

It's great that you don't let others influence your opinion. That's the way it should be in most cases. Would tweaking your tone in speaking and writing help in any way for you to not sound rude?

Princesswithapen


princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author

family2010

I'm glad you could step up and muster the courage to say no. Make sure it stays that way! Thanks for reading and commenting.

Princesswithapen


princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author

Flora

Even the slightest of change when it comes to personal image, personality and behavior in real life is a long drawn process. Those who talk about overnight changes just don't know what they are talking about. One of the first things that has been mentioned in this hub is that "..there are no immediate or quick fixes for this.." and you've hit the nail on the head by relating it to your own experience.

Good to know that you have dealt with this.

Princesswithapen


Tabiee profile image

Tabiee 5 years ago from Pakistan

Great as usual!!!! I am happy some one working to find out solution from problems I do face :)


princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author

Hi Tabiee

No matter how strong we become, there will always be people who try to take us for granted. It is important that you put your foot down if you are facing such a situation on a daily basis. It's great to know that you could relate to this hub. Thanks for stopping by on this one!

Princesswithapen


Bard of Ely profile image

Bard of Ely 5 years ago from Lisbon, Portugal

I have voted up for this and appreciate the advice you have given here! I am a person who has often felt as if I am taken for granted so that is what sparked my interest.


KevinC9998 profile image

KevinC9998 5 years ago

Excellent advice and a good read. It reminds me of my hub, "Got a minute?" Nice job and voted up! Kevin


davidkaluge profile image

davidkaluge 5 years ago

You know some people just don't like it when you tell them your own opinion especially when they expect you to agree with them on such issue. Those are the kind of people that usually get offended by the opinion of others and they can say one is rude.


princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author

Bard of Ely

I'm glad you liked it. We meet many intriguing personalities in the walk of life. Some of them try to take us for granted. I've always believed in being extremely nice to people who are nice themselves. While for the others, well, being nice doesn't help, does it?

Princesswithapen


princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author

Hi Kevin

I'm glad you liked reading this hub. Thanks heaps for reading and commenting!

Princesswithapen


princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author

david

I can see where you come from. If these people refuse to accept your opinion even if you are right, it makes little sense trying to convince them, does it?

Princesswithapen


Barnsey profile image

Barnsey 4 years ago from Happy Hunting Grounds

I am that guy, I try to please everyone and in the rush to do so my efforts become overlooked and my own concerns and feelings get ignored. I set myself up by being Mr. Nice Guy and now that my friends and loved ones know me it seems I cannot escape this cycle of people really getting under my skin. What do I do to stop the cycle without making a moral 360?


arromabetry 3 years ago

My partner and i used to obtain at the top of existence but lately We've built up a new resistance.

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