How to stop feeling guilty about breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend: Getting over breakup guilt
Can't stop feeling guilty about breaking up with your boyfriend? Is breakup guilt eating you up after dumping your girlfriend? Are all your friends blaming you for breaking up with your guy? Are you assuming all the fault and responsibility of the breakup of your relationship? Stop feeling depressed and stop feeling guilty about the decision you made to breakup with your ex by removing the guilt from its roots. This post gives you a chance to introspect on your breakup and rise beyond the guilt and self-hurt.
1) Make a firm decision about your breakup and your feelings for your ex
It is very easy to be lost in breakup guilt if you remain unsure about your feelings for your ex. Be firm about your decision to break up otherwise you will be sucked into the emotional turmoil of being in two minds.
You will continue feeling guilty about dumping someone if you stop believing in yourself. To put this simply, you must trust yourself. Say to yourself that whatever decision you have taken is for the best of everyone involved.
2) Remove breakup guilt by understanding that you were honest and direct
Feel good about the tough stand you have taken in your relationship because it is definitely not easy to tell someone that you don't love them anymore. Everyone sympathizes with someone who has just been dumped, but the person who has initiated the breakup deserves a lot of credit for being honest and direct.
It is not easy to be break someone's heart, even if it seems like the right thing to do. Pat yourself in the back for being brave and mustering the courage to be honest about how you felt.
3) Remind yourself about the reasons for breaking up
A breakup can be caused by the smallest of issues between partners which escalate into big life changing problems. Think of the reasons that compelled you to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Did you breakup because neither of you were unable to stop being jealous over each others' exes? Were you forced to break up because neither of you could see a long term future of your relationship? Was your breakup a result of lack of intimacy? Remind yourself of the core reasons that led to the split if you want to stop blaming yourself for your breakup.
4) Think of your girlfriend or boyfriend's flaws and bad habits
Why did you dump your girlfriend or boyfriend? Was it because she was flirting with others or was it because he couldn't stop looking at other women? Was it because she was too clingy or was it because he was being abusive towards you?
Re-think all your ex's flaws and bad habits so that you don't put yourself at fault for taking the relationship to a breaking point.
5) Think of the breakup as a favor to your ex
You could have run away from the responsibility of breaking up fair and square by seeing someone else behind your partner's back. You could have kept lying to your boyfriend or girlfriend about your feelings. You could have manipulated your partner by still being in the relationship just for materialistic benefits. You could have shown fake feelings of attachment just so that you could continue physical intimacy with your ex. But you did not do any of this and you decided to tell it like it is.
However nasty it may have seem, you did the right thing by breaking up with your partner if you had lost all hopes from the relationship. You may temporarily seem like the bad person but deep down inside you should remind yourself that you did your ex a favor by bringing a quick end to your relationship. The feeling of your breakup could have been similar to that of a painful and agonizing death if you had prolonged and procrastinated the inevitable.
6) The relationship just wasn't meant to be: Be practical
You may have jumped into a relationship just because you were too smitten about falling in love with your crush. But time may have revealed that his or her company was totally opposite of what you were expecting.
Stop feeling guilty about breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend by looking at your relationship as one that just wasn't meant to be. You can try your best to alter the path of bad relationship, but all your efforts will be futile if the relationship has no future at all.
7) Stop breakup guilt by seeing how your ex has moved on
Has your ex-boyfriend moved on by hooking up with a pretty girl? Has your ex-girlfriend moved-on by going to parties with different guys while you are sulking in your room, unable to stop missing her?
Instead of getting more depressed, use this as motivation to stop feeling guilty about breaking up. Look at how your ex has moved on and see it as a sign that he or she is now happier than before.
8) Relationships are a two-way street: Be kind to yourself
Stop judging yourself and stop assuming that you were at fault for all the problems in your relationship that eventually resulted in a breakup. Every relationship is a two-way street and both partners are expected to do things that make a relationship work.
You were not the only one who was expected to make all the sacrifices to appease your partner. Even you have your own likes, dislikes, preferences and needs that your ex was supposed to fulfill. Obviously something went wrong in your relationship - something that couldn't be fixed. It was your ex's responsibility to do whatever it took to fix the problems as much as it was yours, so stop blaming yourself.
9) Think of all the unrequited sacrifices you made before breaking up
You will instantly overcome breakup guilt if you start thinking of all the unrequited sacrifices you made in your relationship. For example, you may have stopped talking to a girl on the phone simply because your girlfriend got jealous of your long conversations with her. Or you may have fought with your parents just so that you could hang out and meet your boyfriend at odd times.
Think off all the sacrifices you made, which were unnoticed and unappreciated by your ex. Use this to convince yourself that you made the right decision. After all, if your ex was too blind to see the sacrifices you made just to keep him or her happy, obviously you deserved much better.
10) Treat your breakup guilt as a natural human reaction
Feeling guilty about hurting someone's feelings or breaking someone's heart is a natural human reaction. This sense of guilt may be unavoidable even if you are completely right in doing so. Don't get frustrated and don't put yourself down by succumbing to the guilt.
Understand and acknowledge your feeling of guilt as a natural human reaction. Rise above this murky feeling by being aware that this guilt is impossible to dodge and you must actively move on by looking at the brighter side of whatever happened in the past.
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