My Soul Mate Found Me! A Short Essay On Karma Love and My Beautiful Cambodian Wife!

Mony and Me before we were married!

One of many great pictures that I cherish!
One of many great pictures that I cherish! | Source

My Wife and I Were Married on October 27, 2008

I am so in love with my wife! She really is the most beautiful woman in the world, inside and out!

Our tale is truly a story out of a romance novel. There were so many elements in both of our lives that made it seem impossible that we would ever even meet.

For starters, my wife was born in Cambodia ( <----check out my Hub on it! ) on the other side of the world! If it wasn't for the atrocities that occurred there in the 1970s under the Khmer Rouge, my wife would never have came here as a refugee.

During that time, the Khmer Rouge, led by Pol Pot, was killing many people under a Guerrilla Communist Regime whose goal was to reduce the population of Cambodia by 2/5 and force the remaining citizens into agricultural slave labor .

Somewhere between 4 and 7 million people were killed in less than 5 years because of this horrible part of history. No one knows how many victims there were because there are no official records of each victim's death.

Looking to find something positive out of all this, my wife's family was able to get out of the region early and was protected by the military and lived in a series of refugee camps spread out all of Southeast Asia. She survived, and was granted Automatic Citizenship to the United States as a Refugee. Because of this I was able to meet her!

It was not easy for her to learn the language and customs of our country; everything is different in South East Asia. The food, religion, customs, climate-everything is literally different. But she learned the way of America and did well in school. I should add that Mony came here when she was 12 years old. (She is 38 years old at the time of this publishing; I am 33 years old.)

There are so many great things that I am feeling and many things that I would like to say about Mony, it is hard to know where to begin. Perhaps that is why is has taken me so long to publish this Hub!

I suppose I should begin at the beginning; when it all started...

My life, overall, was pretty good. I was the youngest of 3 (I also have an adopted Brother who is older than I, but we didn't grow up together as he was adopted as an adult) and by the time my parents had me, they were doing pretty well financially, in comparison to my older sisters. I went to private schools, played Hockey, was a Boy Scout, had girlfriends throughout High School; all was pretty well for me.

I had a girlfriend after High School, and at the time I thought I was going to marry her. We were together for 5 years but all we did was argue.The relationship was never sound and we spent our time trying to convince each other that everything was going to work out. Her parent's liked me and I loved the family. Unfortunately, the chemistry was not right in the relationship; all we did was argue and it was always about small, stupid stuff.

Well, when I turned 21 years old and selfish, I began to go to bars... and this is where my troubles began. .. I ended up cheating on my girlfriend and I left her for another woman.

What goes around, comes around; Karma is a Bitch!

Due to the forces of nature and my ignorant self , I found myself stuck in a rut for too many years with this new woman. She was older than me and I thought that I could change her and help her change her lifetime of perpetual bad luck.

I quickly moved into this new girlfriend's house and took over responsibilities of the head of household. The woman I was with was physically abusive, a cheater, and tried to blame me for many things that I did not do. She was a "Drama Queen" and always seemed to have a problem. She needed to always be the center of attention. There was always a problem-nothing ever went smooth. As a result, my family didn't like her and I ended up not speaking with my family for nearly 2 years.

Tragically, the girl that I had left for this woman, died in a car accident 2 years later. I felt like a jerk for cheating, and I never had a chance to apologize! My "new" girlfriend was jealous of my ex and wouldn't even let me mourn the loss of her. She took a fit when I was asked to be a Pall Bearer and she even made a scene when we went to the Wake. I never forgave her for that.

Everywhere we went, she would flirt with other men and I caught her cheating several times (I said that Karma is a Bitch!) One time she messed my face up so bad that I left the state for almost a month so that the cuts and bruises would heal. You have no idea how embarrassing this is for a man to say!

Needless to say, and a long story short, a series of events occurred and we were no longer together. I spent the next 2 1/2 years alone, evaluating my self and reflecting on how I would produce situations that would add to the positive aspect of Karma, related to my life.

The job market was crappy (no Bush jokes intended ) and in my demographic area, there were no jobs. My city experienced an average of 18% unemployment for a long time! I finally found a job working at a factory, and that is where I met my wife!

My wife was never legally married to anyone before me and she was with the same man since she was 19. They had 3 wonderful children together. Oddly enough, the family hierarchy was set up like my own; 2 older girls and the youngest, a boy.

Mony's ex-boyfriend was selfish and was rarely around for my wife and his kids. She raised her 3 kids by herself. Now, they are ages 15, 13, and 11. I am a lucky Step-Dad! (I still hate the word, "Step").

Our oldest has a learning disability but she tries her best all of the time. The youngest is very hyperactive but he is honestly the best boy in the world! Now then there's the middle child...click on this link to learn a little bit about "Middle Child Syndrome ".

I think that this syndrome is very real and that a lot of middle children experience it and display the same behaviors. I know that my sister did! Well, our middle child can be difficult. Sometimes she feels that the other 2 children get more love and attention than she does because of their disabilities. She is constantly looking for negative attention, likes to swear, and the list goes on and on! I can not wait for this difficult phase to end!

The fact is that she doesn't think that my wife loves her as much as she loves the other 2 and that she can do no right in my wife's eyes. She views me as an impostor, who brainwashed her mother into being a disciplinarian. It's definitely not an easy hat to wear!

My wife, no matter what, shows unconditional love to all of her children. She is not only the best Wife in the world; she is also the best Mother! She is always there for the family, cooking (she's a great cook; a mix of Asian and American!), doing laundry and all the other important household things. Of course, I help her!

Mony is a great friend, Mother, Wife, Daughter and I am so blessed that God put us together even though we were 2 worlds apart. I am truly blessed to have her and I look forward to spending the rest of my days with her. If I am lucky, we can go out like Noah and Allie in "The Notebook"!

This article is a tribute to my wife:

Mony, I love you!

More by this Author


Comments 150 comments

J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA Author

Thank you Daisy! It will be 5 wonderful years for Mony and me coming this October! Time does fly when you're having fun. Thanks for reading and commenting.

JSMatthew~


Daisy Mariposa profile image

Daisy Mariposa 3 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

J.S.,

This is such a beautiful love story. Thanks for sharing part of Mony's and your life with us.


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA Author

Thank you Marsprofane8! I appreciate your comment!

JSMatthew~


Marsprofane8 profile image

Marsprofane8 4 years ago from Abuja

Awesome hub!


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA Author

Thank you for the blessings QudsiaP1! I appreciate it very much!

JSMatthew~


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 4 years ago

Congratulations, may you and your wife find eternal happiness. :)


confidence 4 years ago

for one to make a healthy relationship, you must not put your problem first but consider your partner, he will give it a priority. always seek for the betterment of your partner and not yours always. be contented,and self discipline. don`t be too materialistic; men disgust it so much. see your partner the way he is, change what you don`t like in him but politely. with this i think that one can make a good relationship.


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA Author

Hello Dahlia Flower! Thank you for your kind words! I am a lucky man!

JSMatthew~


Dahlia Flower profile image

Dahlia Flower 4 years ago from Canada

I enjoyed your story very much. It's so honest. I'm very happy for you and your wife and three children.


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA Author

Hello Dr Kavita Shaikh! Thank you for sharing such a true quote! It is great for the kids because it was difficult for them to identify themselves as they grew up exclusively speaking English in school but in a more traditional Khmer home. Now they know they are Cambodian Americans and are proud. I call them "Khmericans"! I shall tell my wife Mony that you said hello! Thanks for stopping by!

JSMatthew~


Dr Kavita Shaikh profile image

Dr Kavita Shaikh 4 years ago from MUSCAT

Interesting story, couldn't help quoting the famous saying ' Love knows no boundaries'. It must be a great experience for the kids, who get to experience a mix of both east and west parts of the globe. Say hi to your beautiful wife on my behalf!


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA Author

@sunbun143: Hello! I feel very lucky to have found my wife and kids and our families blend well in spite of language barriers. I have been trying to learn Khmer and I do OK with speaking, writing saw say aht saw Khmer is difficult! I actually wrote a Hub on how to speak and write Khmer and I drew all the characters myself! I definitely need more practice.

I enjoyed your quote, "When you build a house, you'll always have a place to live, but when you build a family, you'll always have a home." That is so true! I am so glad to hear about your own blended family. There are a few people that are either Khmer or from Srok Khmer here on HubPages, but not many! It's nice to meet you! Thanks for your comment!

PS One of my Khmer Hub friends here from California is Chanroth. She writes a lot of poetry and is really nice. Here's her link: http://hubpages.com/@chanroth If you talk to her, tell her I sent you!

JSMatthew~


sunbun143 profile image

sunbun143 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

How lucky you two are to have found each other. Family is so valuable...I have always believed..."when you build a house, you'll always have a place to live, but when you build a family, you'll always have a home." I am so happy when I read true love stories. I am married to my college sweetheart and we have two young boys together now (I'm Khmer, he's Korean). We have our own version of a blended family and culture at home. Good luck with yours and keep writing!


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

j.s., you gotta let her try it. it doesn't work if it's your idea :-)


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA Author

That's a new one for me PDX! I'll have to try that!

JSMatthew~


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

I call mine MILF sometimes too, but we don't have human kids :-) She prefers to be called a tomcat


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA Author

Hi PDX! I have tried to slip in the "cougar" reference and Mony just laughs. (She doesn't care much for MILF though lol!)It doesn't help that she looks younger than me! I am very happy. We are going out to the movies tonight to see "The Descendants". Looks promising! I will have to check out your Hub about your relationship. Thanks for stopping by!

JSMatthew~


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

beautiful hub, matthew. I like your story. i recently shared the story of my wife and I as well on Hub Pages. You too look happy. Also, my wife is older then me and I call her cougar. she doesn't like it. How would this work with Mony?


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA Author

Thank you Ian! I have had a wonderful birthday and shall enjoy the evening with my love! Thanks for stopping by and for sharing!

JSMatthew~


Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image

Ian Dabasori Hetr 4 years ago from Papua New Guinea

Very very sweet. A true love story. I will share this with friends on today as you enjoy your birthday with your love.

Happy celebrations

Ian


    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working