I was without internet for hours, and I survived...
Who needs therapy? Try a few hours without internet: face your worst fears and survive. Best form of therapy.
I might as well have died. I am without internet. Who would have thought that such a small, insignificant thing like high speed internet could make such a difference in life? I need connection... with the outside world. With people. I feel like an isolated Eskimo without DSL. This is worse than having no electricity and being caught without candles or matches in a blackout.
For anyone who hasn't experienced this: I tried unplugging and re-plugging all the cords to the computer. No result. I called my bundle provider, (on my daughter's cell phone, after my home phone line went dead) and even with step by step instruction, I'm here with no connection. Waahhhhh!
I still have Skype (off and on). How sad, that the only connection I had to the outside world was through a young, hot eye-candy who sent me an unsolicited "wassup" pic of himself. At least he answered, and let me know there's someone still out there. God. I need to change the vulnerability in my life. Plus, he doesn't have a hot pic on his Skype account....
Why am I writing? Like always: it keeps me sane. Now, even moreso. Without this platform to vent my frustration, I think my head would explode. Or at least, a few more capillaries in my ankles, causing those unsightly spider veins.
Today, I edited the first draft of the ebook on "dating" I was awarded. That was a pure joy! I love to share the tidbits of knowledge I've accumulated from my own experience, as well as the profound words of some insightful psychologists in the books I read. Even though the client expected more personality and spunk in the content, I wasn't offended. I always tread on thin ice with new clients before I let my guard down, and unleash the complete goofball on their hands. Little do they know what nerdiness awaits...
So here I am. All talk, and no platform. Wahhhhhh! Of course, I will save this file and upload it when my service is back up and running. But until then, I need this white screen and my keyboard, and the thought that someone out there will hear me.... some day.....
For my regular readers: I promise you that a big "life story" is in the making. So much BS, bumps and twists, side-steps and idiocy have crossed my path, even Jerry Springer would be jealous! But my story will not be a scandalous and dirty version of some baby-momma-drama. It will be about inspiration, enlightenment, and determination. You think you couldn't handle your worst fear? Think again! I did. I survived. Shoot, I'm thriving.
It's not about my financial situation. In fact, I'd like to choke my ex in a thimble of water when I think about the hardships he's caused me. But it would be of no use. His karma is so wretched, I would never trade places with him, even if I came out of debt. For me, knowing that I'm free to do as I wish, carve my own destiny, is what's driving me to move forward. I've tasted the fruits of independence and self-awareness, and I will make it my quest, to show others how sweet it is. Join me if you have the guts.
Meanwhile, I'll wait for the repairman to come tomorrow. Adios my fine friends. G'night.
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