If Your "Friends" Constantly Ignore You, Then You Are Not Wanted by Their Group

The way these young punks walk past this homeless man with total disrespect is how many of our "friends" treat us sometimes.
The way these young punks walk past this homeless man with total disrespect is how many of our "friends" treat us sometimes. | Source
Aside from death itself, this is one of the most-painful places to be.
Aside from death itself, this is one of the most-painful places to be. | Source

Being made to feel unwanted can happen at anytime

I sadly recall this event in my life a few years ago so vividly that sometimes I feel that I dreamed it. And yes, I would give anyone $3,000.00 to make that a reality. What happened was this: I saw two or three of my my friends standing around in front of a Walmart just shooting the breeze and not really doing anything productive. Looked like a clear-cut invitation for me to take part.

I walked up to the three guys and one girl and then there was that obligatory "how are you?" "what are you up to these days?" said to just ease a conscience or two and I was idiot enough to answer each query like a backwoods rube on his first time to a big town.

Suddenly the pretty girl spoke up. "Hey, how about us heading to that Taco Bell over there and grab a bite?" The other guys jumped on that idea like a famished Spotted Trout devouring a hapless grasshopper who had fell into the Trout's domain.

Before long, one of these people will feel that the other person does not want them.
Before long, one of these people will feel that the other person does not want them. | Source
This is a very dangerous distance that is between this once-loving couple.
This is a very dangerous distance that is between this once-loving couple. | Source
Hiding behind the newspaper can keep you from talking to the person you don't like.
Hiding behind the newspaper can keep you from talking to the person you don't like. | Source

The way the girl's face cringed, I should have not went.

Now know this, dear readers. At no given time did the girl or any of the three guys even bother to say to me, "Ken, you going with us?" It was one of those times when you reluctantly chug along behind them because if you do not go, you will be blamed for hurting the feelings of four people. Who wants that?

In all sincerity, I felt severely out-of-place, unwanted, a square peg in a round hole type of thing. But had no clever lines to cover my discomfort. I knew that the pretty girl had plans with one of the guys or something she needed to say to the group (without me) and there I was lumbering along like a trained Rhino. Oh how I asked God (in my heart) to please "part these waters" so I can get out of here free. Thank you."

We arrived at the Taco Bell, found a table, and sat down. The rest of the group mingled in a small amount of small talk and some of it obligatory to soothe my suspicions of not really wanting me to be at this high-level Taco Bell meeting. That makes me laugh. Taco Bell: famous for high-level meetings. The waitress came as soon as we sat down. Everyone but me ordered food and drink. I just ordered coffee because I knew that soon I would be leaving and I did't need any extra weight holding me back.

These two started out as good friends, but one day she got a promotion and he didnd't. End of friendship.
These two started out as good friends, but one day she got a promotion and he didnd't. End of friendship. | Source

I would suggest

. . . some ways for you to get even with these flimsy excuses for friends, but one, it would not help anything and two, wouldn't this make you just like them?

Something happened years ago to make these two arch enemies, but now they have met to "pay the piper."
Something happened years ago to make these two arch enemies, but now they have met to "pay the piper." | Source
If this were me being given the "cold shoulder treatment," I would take pity on the one doing it to me and just tell them, "You win. I am gone."
If this were me being given the "cold shoulder treatment," I would take pity on the one doing it to me and just tell them, "You win. I am gone." | Source

Time for the big show-down.

When the food came, so did the questions. "You not get anything, Ken?" "You not hungry? That's a first." "You sick or something?" Were just a few of things that were asked of me and I did my best Robert Redford character in Horse Whisperer, "Nope." I smiled and sipped my coffee.

This is only one incident. Another was when I met up with some different people whom I had graduated with from high school and when I politely walked up to greet them, the conversation ceased and this forced look of jubilation spread over their faces.

  • What I am telling you now might serve you in a similar situation. Each of these people told something they had done after graduation and the rest listened intently. But when I was asked what I had been doing with myself, at mid-way through my answer, a guy interrupted me for he had forgotten a key element to his "exciting" story. When he finished . . .NOT ONE PERSON asked me to finish my story. Not one. Now you see how you can use this vehicle in your own life. If the group does not ask you to finish what you were saying, odds are, you were never wanted at the meeting.
  • Another "tell" to let you know if you are an accepted part of a certain group is if one of the group keeps mispronouncing your name and seemingly they are doing it on purpose. It is designed to frustrate you into leaving. Example: "Bob": "Lenny, you worked for the paper, right?" ME: "Yes, "Bob," for 23 plus years and by the way, "Kenny," not "Lenny" is my name.
  • Or this classic production. For years you have had a thing for this girl in this vicious group. She's not all that bad and would make some great female company. Finally you ask her out. She is glad to go with you, but says, "When you arrive to pick me up, can you bring a yearbook of our senior year so we can look at it when we get back home? You agree. And on the night of your date, you get out of your car and go bopping up to her front door. The moment she answers the doorbell, she sees the yearbook and responds, "What is that?" "The yearbook you told me to bring," you reply. "No, not that yearbook. Didn't you attend another high school and not Hamilton?" she argues. You say no more. Now she has scored in making you feel like an outcast.


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Comments 13 comments

Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 15 months ago

I love this hub Kenneth because you give honest , real to life common sense. Some people are not born with this gift, common sense that you can see the real intent behind actions and motives. which

makes a very wise person, I appreciate how you bring out conversations if being singled out, this can happen to anyone in famlies and friends , and you open up a question of thought can we be a victim, or are we the one that does this unloving things to the one we call a friend.

But know this Kenneth there are two greastest friends that stay the same , like the sun stays faithful it has never missed a day in your life time, the moon is for sure never missing, so is the love our heavenly Father and his love and concerns for you,

Re 19:11 I saw heaven opened, and look! a white horse. And the one seated on it is called Faithful and True, and he judges and carries on war in righteousness.

De 7:9 You well know that Jehovah your God is the true God, the faithful God, keeping his covenant and loyal love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.

These two deserve our loyalty , humans error as you have mentioned,

Please keep your wonderful gift of caring

No matter the hurt and disappointment.

We are more like our Heavenly Father when we reflect his ways.

I love your pictures and your great sense of humor .you find those pictures that say

Just that thought .

Always enjoy your work.

Thank you.


Mgt28 15 months ago

One your best.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 15 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

KissandTales,

Dear heart, you always make me feel so alive and useful via your comments. I loved them. And I thank you so much for them. The compliments about conversations, photos, text. etc.

I wish I could thank you in a way that you would tell your friends, "no one has ever did that for me."

One day.

Maybe one day.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 15 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Mgt28,

A sincere, heart-felt thanks to you for your kindness and warm words.

Have a safe and quiet night.


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 15 months ago

Kenneth you are a wonderful gift to me , I am sure your family knows they have solid gold in their midst, , or the diamond rare to find. Thank you for reflecting your kindness and up building words to me.

The world would be a wonderful place with many copies of you. Thank you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 15 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest KissandTales,

I am humbled to speechless due to your sweet words and sweet spirit. I can literally feel the sincerity of your thoughts and words to me. Thank you very much. I had much rather give you thoughts and words that will make you hold yourself up with pride and confidence than issue snippy, childish remarks that will hurt you.

And on that premise, I had rather die myself than to know I hurt you, my DEAR FRIEND.


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 15 months ago

That is a wonderful expression Kenneth , I appreciated you very much, and you have a wonderful gift of caring, your sincere and kind words I am always uplifted from.

I hope we will always stay in touch thank you , You are much more than a friend , thank you.


Babbyii profile image

Babbyii 15 months ago from Alaska's Kenai Peninsula

Appreciate the honesty and laughter you bring to the HP community Kenneth!!

Thank you and Congratulations on your Hubbie Award!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Kiss and Tales,

I am so sorry that I took so long to reply. I had to have a heart cath done on me in mid-October for congestive heart failure. Doctors drained 57 pounds off of and in my heart. I was near-death they said, but I wasn't aware of that.

I lost 74 pounds and on a strict diet. And YOU are more than just a friend to me too. Wow! Thanks for all of your sweet thoughts and please write me often.

Love, Kenneth, Your Friend for Life.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Babbyii,

God bless you and your life richly for such a warm comment.

Read my comment to Kiss and Tales and see why I was slow to reply. And I apologize.

Thanks for all of your, and Kiss and Tales sweet words.

Write soon and take care.


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 13 months ago

Kenneth I am really lost of words from my heart sorry that you have went through so much , I know exactly what your experience is I have a close relative who went through the same problem. Also the weight was a problem while having surgery. , they had a quadruple bypass

Ribs broken, same condition congestive heart failure. Its been 7 years recovery but they have gain the weight back, you have good doctors and surgeon's that got you active , good! You will soon fill a little more relief of your pain each week , do not miss your meds, I wish all blessings and a recovery, we have to laugh at some of those pictures togather Kenneth , and blessings to your family who love you I am sure , Because you have won my heart through you kindness and senerity

May Jehovah keep you close Kenneth I will be checking more on you .I will email you if possible .


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Sweet KissandTales,

Now, words are futile for me to express my thanks to you for expressing so much care and love through a comment that touched my heart and soul.

I know I do not have riches to show you this emotion, but will this sincere "thank you, sweet friend," suffice for now?

Like I said in one of the above comments, YOU are MORE than a Friend to me, KissandTales. I mean it. And YES, do email me whenever you like and I promise to do my best to reply.

Love,

Kenneth


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 13 months ago from Oakley, CA

It seems to me, that "if your friends ignore you," then they are not truly your friends....find a group of people with whom you have more in common, and write off those who can't be bothered with you, and don't be bothered with them, yourself.

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