I'm a girl - Why do I get along better with guys?

It’s just me. Maybe it’s the way I was raised. Ever since I can remember, I never really got on that great with other girls. It wasn’t jealousy – I just didn’t click with them. I’m not one of those girls who you see gossiping and shopping with other girls (or at least you don’t see me enjoying it). I can try to get along and I still make an effort, but after a while, I feel like I shouldn’t have to try that hard.

There are a few things that make it difficult for me to get along with girls:

  • I don’t really take an interest in a lot of the things many other girls do. I don’t wear a lot of makeup, I bargain-shop, I don’t watch trash TV.
  • I don’t like to compete for attention. In a group of girls, I feel like they are all trying to get in on the conversation, add their say, be the nicest… If someone overrides me in a conversation, I just let them go for it and will find something else to do.
  • I don’t know how to hold a good conversation with other women. I know that some girls get bored around me, but don't think I know how to show I'm interested because they'll just go talk to other girls instead.
  • I like to shop alone so I don’t end up with something I don’t need. Plus I’m not on someone else’s time and I can either take the time I need or leave when I want.
  • I prefer to go to the bathroom by myself. I don’t like to go with a partner or a clan.

I know that the women I’ve described are not necessarily typical. However, I find myself in the situation where I am struggling to get along with other girls, such as gatherings with my partner’s co-workers. Especially the ones with kids. I seem at a loss because I didn’t grow up with little babies in my family, so I don’t know what to do when someone hands me one. … Tends to make me not a hit with the mothers.

I find it unfortunate that I don't have the maternal instinct because I feel like girls can be such good friends when they can tell something is wrong, when they take the time to pull someone aside to ask if there is anything the matter. I feel badly because I want to be better company with other women, but it is just easier for me to get along with men. Less pressure because I don’t have to worry about being weird or crude!

I am lucky to have a best friend who I get along with perfectly, who I can make jokes with and not be afraid of offending with my sense of humor (I wanted one bridesmaid by my side at my wedding and that’s her!). I’m lucky to have a partner who makes me feel comfortable and special. I’m lucky to have friends and family who accept me for who I am so I don’t have to worry about only having a few girl friends J

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Comments 43 comments

Ratanak Ou 5 years ago

That's great that you can do everything by your ownself. Well, most girls like shopping or going out in group. However, you definitely would be a real girl in last. Great to read your hub!


angela martinez67 profile image

angela martinez67 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

it gives a great feeling to belong with a group of guy friends and they don't talk about u how they normally talk about other girls ;* i see nothin' wrong with that as i've grown to have more guys being close friends for years & it's an honest to goodness awesome relationship that a few of my real good gF's find quite admirable in me^^. wish u all the best! :)


itech profile image

itech 5 years ago from New Delhi, India

Interesting Story... and Photo too...


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

glass, "girlie" stuff (make-up, clothes shopping, celeb watching) isn't the center of my world either, and trying to converse with a group of chatty gals just bores me silly. I also prefer to shop alone. (Actually, I'm told I shop like a guy - go straight for what I came for, buy it and get out. No browsing.) At family get togethers, I'm more likely to be playing poker and discussing politics with the guys than trading recipes and beauty secrets with the women. This probably sounds sexist, but it's just the way I'm wired and always have been. ;D


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 5 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

Voted up and interesting. I liked your hub very much because I felt a bit connected with it. Like you I also get along with the boys very well. Either in my childhood or as a teenager I used to play all male dominated games as well as watched live telecast of sports tournaments. Well, there is a twist in my tale from yours and that is I used to and even today I get along nicely with the girls too but definitely those girls who share some common interests with the boys and not the girls with typical girlish approach. I usually keep a distance with them. Even, I often avoid the typical colors which are usually liked by the girls.

A nice interesting hub. Keep it up!


PaulGoodman67 profile image

PaulGoodman67 5 years ago from Florida USA

"I prefer to go to the bathroom by myself. I don’t like to go with a partner or a clan." Hehe! That whole bathroom scene is a mystery to a man, although it seems to happen less as women get older! Voted up!


ktrapp profile image

ktrapp 5 years ago from Illinois

This is very interesting. When in high school I tended to prefer to sit with a group of guys than girls. There isn't squabbling and friend-breakups and pointless gossip. Not to say all groups of girls are like that, but I think it's that way during the high school and college years. My daughter seems to like to hang with guy groups, as well.


ikechiawazie profile image

ikechiawazie 5 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

I love your hub. There is nothing wrong with being different. I Know that people sometimes feel odd when they are not doing what others are doing or expect them to do Remember that are you are unique being and that's your strength.


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

as long as you're happy, who cares? i've always had more girl's for friend's, except when it was time to play ball. no, not the other, h


glassvisage profile image

glassvisage 5 years ago from Northern California Author

Thanks so much for all of your comments! It's been on my mind these days I think because I've been in a newer city with different kinds of people. It's good to be diverse, but so long as I have my friends and family at hand :)


buddhkist profile image

buddhkist 5 years ago from State of Somewhere

Fascinating hub. I believe a lot of people can relate to this. Personally, I've never been very interested in conversing with any person who is obsessed with materialism. Male or female. Because of that I tend to seek comfort in music, art and literature.


Robin profile image

Robin 5 years ago from San Francisco

Interesting Hub. I have a few girlfriends that are amazing but they can be hard to find. We just had a conversation with our daughter last night because she was having a hard time with the girls in her class being snarky. We decided that it would be better to go play with the boys when they acted like that. Boys never say things like, I won't be your friend if you go play tetherball with so and so. They might punch you when they're mad but they usually forget about it after a few minutes. ;) I feel like I'm extremely selective about my girl friends as I have a a few that are amazing and I really don't want any of the drama. I'm glad you have your one good girlfriend, sometimes that's all you need! ;)


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

I can relate. I grew up an only child and I wasn't very girly, but I wasn't a tomboy either. I just liked books and stuff. I did have Barbies, but that wasn't all I enjoyed. Even in high school when I did have girlfriends, I stopped hanging out with the girls I had befriended because I wasn't obsessed with shopping, boys, or anything superficial. Now obviously I am a girl and I do enjoy some girly things like bright colors, but I don't think that defines me just like my appreciation of basketball, music, or writing doesn't either. Great Hub!


TheDailyMessenger profile image

TheDailyMessenger 5 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

To Glassvisage,

Very good blog and you had an incredible perspective on this. so for that, keep up the good work.

TDM


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

I think Alecia Murphy nailed it, that hanging out with other girls whose lives revolve around the superficial holds no appeal for many of us.


LailaK profile image

LailaK 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Throughout reading your hub, I kept saying "me too!!" all the time! Very well-written! Voted up!


Prickly Flower profile image

Prickly Flower 5 years ago from Netherlands

So recognisable! My best friend is a guy. With him I can talk about so many more things than with most girls. Although I'm lucky in having two sisters who accept me the way I am and fulfill the roles of friends splendidly. And though I love kids and have them myself, I really don't want to talk about them all the time, lovable though the are. Really great hub!


justmyopiniontoo profile image

justmyopiniontoo 5 years ago

Great hub, I think that a lot of people can recognise these characteristics in themselves, me especially (admittly if I had been into make-up and going to the toilet in twos etc, I may have been seen as weird) I also think that most guys get on better with girls and girls better with guys because were not trying to impress or be impressed and can be ouselves


Sherry Zimmerman profile image

Sherry Zimmerman 4 years ago from Troy, Ohio

Great hub, especially for those of us (and from the comments here there are quite a few) that have never been the girly girl.

I grew up playing in the garage, learned to love working on cars, riding motorcycles with my brothers, and hanging out with the guys. I don't like anything about shopping, only wear makeup for weddings and funerals, and almost keeled over when my daughter said she wanted to try out for cheerleading. I was always happier tearing into a motor than gossiping with the girls and the guys that knew me well appreciated that I could get my little hands back behind the motor where they couldn't reach and had a sense of humor that would offend most girls.

One of my guy friends attributes this phenomenon to girls just generally being the more competitive of the two sexes. And I have to agree with him when he says that if you put 5 women in a room together and come back 5 hours later you'll find angry yelling and possibly blood... put 5 men in a room together for 5 hours and when you get back they'll be kicked back, relaxed and playing cards.

That best friend you have, hang on tight to her and let her know that she means the world to you. I, too, had one female friend that I meshed with extremely well. We survived high school, boyfriends and break ups, marriages, kids, and so much more together. She passed away (at 39) almost two years ago now and I'll never find another person - male or female - that just fits like we did.


divacratus profile image

divacratus 4 years ago from India

I feel it's necessary to get along with both genders. In the same way, I don't think it's fine if girls ONLY get along with girls. They need to get along with guys too -- because when they are in a social environment, they are not dealing with just one gender. How well you cope up with both the sexes defines how adaptable you are. That saying, I'm more comfortable with guys too, but I'm taking an effort nowadays to like and appreciate what other girls do. Just my thought :)


Abzolution profile image

Abzolution 4 years ago from United Kingdom

great hub, I feel exactly the same. I've always gotten on better with guys. Girls are far too high maintenance these days. :)


lifedancer profile image

lifedancer 4 years ago from California

Good issue. I'm 63 and find commonality with you., but do wear makeup and am a girly-girl. I attend dances and music events where I often notice that I really like only a few women, though I see more attractive women than men. Men, more often than women, speak to me and are friendly. I see women competing for male attention in groups. When I'm with a good female friend, that does not happen. I want some scientific studies on this topic.


shamani67 profile image

shamani67 4 years ago

I relate whole heartedly to your hub. I am a tom boy at heart. The work I am involved in is mainly a male dominated field. I love working and socialising with men.

I have never ever been a girly girl. Hate makeup and hate dresses. I relate to the fellas much more than females.


StrengthenWomen profile image

StrengthenWomen 4 years ago from D.C. Metro Area

There is belief that a lot of time as women we fall in line with the status quo, not because we like it but because it is what we have learned or believe others expect of us. I understand what you are stating from a personal prospective because I have been the same way. I think the reason why I got along better with guys was because they did not seem to talk about others just for the sake of conversation. Women often search for what is believed to be the "juicy gossip" when communicating with others because they are more apt to strongly desire emotional connectivity and acceptance. They create these conversations surrounding other peoples business for the sake of this connection, which often leads to the readily known "drama". For those of us women who want to stay out of it, we make the decision to hang out with others (often guys) who are less dramatic; others who are more accepting of us with flaws and all!


c1234rystal profile image

c1234rystal 4 years ago

I agree with StrengthenWomen on the idea that both sexes are taught to act a certain way. As humans, we tend to like fitting into a neat little box. I'm sure you've noticed that even the "misfits" have their own group/subculture.

I used to say that I didn't like to make friends with a lot of women. But I realized that I actually don't like to hang around with people (either sex) who don't share my interests/views. I've hung around with guys who didn't gossip for example, but who acted ultra macho which I found that completely annoying.

I think that we should be open to meeting people, giving them a chance and then decided whether we like them or not. Maybe you'll start meeting more level headed, females who seem to do things outside the box if you meet them through activites that you enjoy rather than family etc.

All in all, I think it's important for women to support each other in a world where we're already not on equal ground with men.


mriwoods profile image

mriwoods 4 years ago from cape cod

Love your straight forward story no frills, just an open truth more girls should follow your advice.


smartstuff 4 years ago from India

Nice i ask that about the same about the opposite sex myself ;)


TheNsa profile image

TheNsa 4 years ago

Opposite sex always attracts, i guess, like I have more female friends than male friends.


sakuralove 4 years ago

I couldn't agree more with you.My mother on the other hand always would look down on me when I would hang out with guys instead of girls,and would always try to get me to hang out with them even though we wouldn't get along!lol though now she sees the error of her ways.....


YellowOC1 profile image

YellowOC1 4 years ago

I don't understand the need to go to the bathroom alone - perhaps it's just me and my old ways...


JoKalvin profile image

JoKalvin 4 years ago from Philippines

This article is interesting. And I can relate to you somehow! I can pretty much relate to girls, but these girls that I am talking about are those with boyish sides as well, sans 100% girliness. I also do not like very much those stuff that girls do, like shopping for bags, shoes, clothes. I just do not find them interesting! The only time I shop is when I know I really don't have anything to wear anymore! And if I do shop, I do it by myself as well, because I tend to roam around the mall or stores for hours, just looking at things and not even buying them LOL.

I also feel like I'm not being totally myself when I'm around them girly girls. I feel like I have to be like them so I can fit in, and the thing is, I don't really love what I'm becoming, I feel like my actions are limited and I have to be all prim and proper.

I have one question, though: have you ever felt lonely by being that way?


glassvisage profile image

glassvisage 4 years ago from Northern California Author

Thank you all for your comments! JoKalvin, yes I have - I feel lonely in a group of girly girls where I'm not like them and they're together doing their thing and I'm not a part of it.


kschimmel profile image

kschimmel 4 years ago from North Carolina, USA

I hung out with boys because I prefer action to drama. Girls can be whiny and silly. Of course I met girls I could be friends with--in calculus classes and such! I'm glad my daughters have brothers to keep them from being too silly--they still like to do their hair and nails, but they don't get into catfights or drama with other girls.


glassvisage profile image

glassvisage 4 years ago from Northern California Author

I agree! Being around my brother definitely saved me from becoming too... girly *shudder*


avan989 profile image

avan989 4 years ago from maryland

Its probably your interest. You like to do guy things so you will probably hang out with guys more.


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

I used to hang out with my brother's friends when I was much younger but not anymore interesting Hub


Injured lamb profile image

Injured lamb 3 years ago

I felt like someone is describing me as I was reading this hub of yours...lol...thanks for sharing the true you glassvisage, I agree much with you that it is less pressure to get along with men rather than women(those love to gossip, show off, compare and compete...) really appreciate this hub, I enjoyed it much. Cheers!


stephanieb27 profile image

stephanieb27 3 years ago from United States

I agree, you described me too! I grew up a brother and boy cousins. I have a close group of girl friends that I have basically known my whole life, other than that I prefer to hang out with guys.


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Interesting about you getting alone better with guys I am the same. Nice of you to write about it thanks


Angelaishea 3 years ago

Guys don't worry about anything, they mind their own business. While girls are like, "why you staring at me? Got something to say... Say it to my face!"

Us girls are overdramatic sometimes, but, it's only because we LOVE to get into peoples' business which we think that we're helping. But the problems not solved cuz we are screaming like a maniac!


glassvisage profile image

glassvisage 3 years ago from Northern California Author

Good way to put it! I can think of so many girls who are like that, haha


LongTimeMother profile image

LongTimeMother 3 years ago from Australia

ROFL. That was me in my youth. :)


Edward J. Palumbo profile image

Edward J. Palumbo 2 years ago from Tualatin, OR

I've been happily married for 31 years, and the first memory of my wife was the sound of her laughter; I turned because I had to see from whom that genuine laughter originated! I enjoyed her candor, her sense of adventure and irony, and we've been through a few (mis)adventures and two children together over time. Continue as you are. You must be doing something well!

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