Can True Love Still be Found in Today's World?

An Answer to Hubber's Question: in today's time do we see true love among people?

From ancient times to the present true love, or the bonding of two people in a lifelong union, has always existed and, for most, has always been the sought for ideal. Unfortunately, a number of people down through the ages, have been unable to find true love.

However, despite the fact that, from ancient times to the present, there have been people who have not found true love, the majority of people throughout history probably have found true love or something close to it.

The question in this request, in today's time do we see true love among people?, implies that true love barely exists or is in danger of vanishing in the present time.

However, one possible answer to this that true love is so common, both today and in the past, that we don't notice it. What we do notice are the exceptions or the cases of people where true love doesn't exist.

Like the old journalist adage man bites dog is newsworthy while dog bites man is not newsworthy. Divorces and messy breakups are the exception and are thus newsworthy while happy marriages are common and don't stand out.

Venus de Milo, Roman Goddess of Love  (photo courtesy of WikiPedia.org -  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Venus_de_Milo_Louvre_Ma399_n4.jpg)
Venus de Milo, Roman Goddess of Love (photo courtesy of WikiPedia.org - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Venus_de_Milo_Louvre_Ma399_n4.jpg)

Love Defined

In the case of love there is also the problem of definition. There are three definitions that have historically been used and these are:

Eros - this is generally defined as sexual attraction and is the main theme of romance literature. Eros is exciting and is what provides the spice in a loving relationship. It is also a great theme in art and literature as well a sales and marketing.

Sex sells as any modern day marketer desiring to sell anything from laundry detergent to automobiles knows. The long running TV genre known as the soap opera has been used to describe the half hour long, ongoing TV shows dealing with romance and infidelity not because soap is the theme of the show but because their purpose is to attract an audience to view the laundry detergent commercials that originally sponsored these shows.

While Eros is exciting and is great for bringing people together, it is both self centered and short lived. Under the influence of Eros, a person seeks to satisfy their own desires. Of course for normal people, the object of one's desire either begins to feel the same erotic attraction in which each is then seeking to satisfy their desire with the other or the other fails to respond which causes the desire to die in the first one.

Eros, Agape & Philia - the Three Types of Love

Also, once one gets to know the person of their desire, the mystery begins to disappear and with it, much of the initial raw sexual desire. Of course in a long term relationship Eros can be made to periodically appear and rejuvenate the relationship, but Eros is too demanding and too self centered to sustain a long term relationship by itself.

Agape - Agape love is in some ways the opposite of Eros in that the focus shifts from concerns for one's own desires to those of the object of his or her love. Like Eros, Agape love is very selective as to the object of its love, but with Agape love the lover derives satisfaction from meeting the needs and making their lover happy rather than focusing on their own happiness and desires. This is like the Biblical command to give and you shall receive (Luke 6:38).

Agape love does not have the same intensity as Eros and this makes it ideal for a long term sustainable relationship. While Eros is like an adventure toward a goal in which the adventure ends when the goal is achieved, once a lover meets the object of his or her desire and satisfies that desire the intense erotic feelings tend to disappear.

Agape is concerned with the more mundane job of tending to the day to day little things of maintaining a loving relationship a task that, while requiring focus and work, is less intense and less self centered.

Philia - or Platonic love, like Eros and Agape, is an ancient Greek term which is used to describe friendship which is a special type of relationship between people.

Friendship is a relationship between two people that does not involve sex and has elements of both Eros and Agape love in that, in the short run, friendship can be mostly one way with help and support being given without the expectation of receiving while in the long run most friendships will dissolve without some sort of reciprocity.

True Love is Alive and Well Today - It is Just Not That Visible

When people talk about true love they usually have the image of a long term, loving relationship in mind. However, this is not what is most prominent in the information we receive each day. Marital breakups, spousal abuse, infidelity, etc. are the focus of attention while the fact that far more people are going about their daily lives happily married is usually overlooked. This is true of both the media and plain old gossip.

The fact that a co-worker, neighbor, relative, friend, etc. is having problems or has done something wrong makes for good gossip, or the evening news if it is big enough and juicy enough.

In reality many more people we know are happily going about their daily lives and his is so common and routine that it rarely merits comment. In fact the only time such everyday things stand out is when they are the exception - when the rest of the neighbors are filing for divorce and the Jones remain happily married that might warrant a comment or when all of the couples in a group except for one couple spend all their time bickering with each other, then the one couple that is not bickering will have some limited gossip value. However, things that are tragic, wrong or both make for far more interesting topics for journalists and gossips than good things.

Also, because it is more exciting, Eros has long been a theme for art and literature while Agape, being more common and more mundane, is usually only discussed in self-help books.

This is why almost every story, novel, stage play and movie dealing with romance ends with And they lived happily ever after. However, had the author continued on to describe living happily ever after they would have put the audience/reader to sleep because, while living happily ever after is great for oneself, it is boring to read about or view it in others. Sure, we may be happy for them and even be slightly envious of what they have, but for entertaining diversion most of us want something with more action, suspense and tragedy.

It is Natural to Take Common Things for Granted

This is not to say that we don't see the numerous examples of true love around us, it is just that they are so common that they don't register. It is like the drive to work every day in which we drive the same route at the same time and, hopefully, see everything.

Most of what we see on such trips is the same so it is not something to remember and talk about - what we see is usually what we expect to see. What we remember and talk about are the exceptions - the new building going up, the driver that cuts us off (have you ever heard anyone at work describe the number of drivers around them who drove as they should? - no, it is always the idiot who cuts us off who we talk about with our co-workers), the good road conditions (unless they are the exception), the sunshine, etc.

If we stop and look around we will find numerous examples of little things that loving couples do regularly for each other. Most of these are too small and insignificant, to others, to notice. But to the spouse they are big and it is the regular attention to these tiny details by each spouse, that leads to the the true love that we all long for.

Even Divorce Has Elements of Hope for Love

Even with today's high divorce rate (although the statistics still show the divorce rate being smaller than the number of long term, stable marriages) we can still see a pattern of love in many divorces.

This is, of course, mostly of the Philia or Platonic love variety rather than Eros or Agape. But not all divorces or bitter or, despite starting out that way, often don't remain bitter. While divorce itself is tragic in that the couple could not overcome their differences and remain married, many still maintain a friendly relationship.

Usually this is for the children but that is an act of love in that they are able to set aside their personal differences and maintain a relationship in which to raise the children. But there are also many instances here of going beyond cooperating and being nice to each other for the children's sake, and helping the other in both small and big ways when needed. Again, this is classic friendship but, in this case, it remains a still burning ember of what was once a real love.

My Great Uncle's Loving Example

Finally, in thinking of lasting love I am always reminded of my great-Uncle Walt's love for my great-Aunt Helen. They had a long marriage that in no way was unusual until the end.

As they approached their fiftieth wedding anniversary, my Aunt began to become forgetful - it was probably the onset of Alzheimer's but that had not been classified as a disease at that time so her condition was passed off as old age or hardening of the arteries.

As her condition worsened my uncle, who was retired, took over all of the household management and increasingly acted as her caregiver. Finally she had a couple of strokes which left her partially crippled and unable to articulate words.

My uncle had to put her in a nursing home as he could no longer adequately care for her alone. However, for the next ten years he spent every day, seven days a week, by her bedside talking with her from the time the facility opened for visitors at about 8:00 a.m. to closing at about five or six in the evening.

He remained happy and very positive both with my Aunt and with the rest of the family. He didn't just sit by her bedside and feed her (which he did himself every day as she lacked the coordination to do this herself) but he carried on a cheerful conversation with her all day and was always buoyed by the slightest change in response from her - a different movement of an eye or her head (neither of which she had much control over) an inflection in the sound she could make with her vocal cords (again, the strokes left her unable to form words with her mouth), etc.

He was not only encouraged by these small and rare responses from my great-aunt but joyfully shared them with friends and family in a manner of a young person describing a date with a new love.

Despite his age (he was in his 80s), my uncle remained spry and active in addition to his daily bedside vigils with my aunt. He continued to drive, attended family functions, helped others in the family with taxes and financial advice, corresponded with some of my cousins and me while we were away at college and researched and began writing his family history.

The family felt sorry for his burden and, while all of us admired his sacrifice for my aunt most felt his efforts were in vain as, to everyone but him, she seemed totally unaware of her surroundings. But he didn't feel this way and continued on certain that he was doing the best for my aunt and, in retrospect, he was actually enjoying his time spent with her.

Then, in his early 90s my uncle was briefly hospitalized for minor surgery. When he was released his sister picked him up an took him to her home for, what was assumed to be a short period of recovery. However, upon reaching her home he lay down for a nap and died of a heart attack in his sleep.

Looking Back It Was Love that Kept Both My Aunt and Uncle Alive in Old Age

Except for the damage from her strokes and her loss of memory, my aunt, who was also in her 90s, was basically healthy and the doctors predicted that she would live another five or ten years.

However, despite her good physical health, my great-Aunt Helen died in her sleep a couple of weeks after the death of my great-Uncle Walt.

In retrospect it was obvious that, despite her outward condition, my great-aunt was conscious of her husband's presence and love and that is what had been keeping her alive for the previous ten years in the nursing home. Without him she no longer had a reason to live.

Ironically, looking back I have come to believe that, despite my uncle's apparent sacrifices for her during her long illness and the good health he enjoyed, that their relationship was mutual. If my aunt had died earlier I think my uncle would have followed her soon after. In a way my invalid aunt kept my uncle alive just as he had kept her alive.

True Love Still Exists, We Just Have to Look for It

So, to the original question, in today's time do we still see true love among people? my answer is YES and I think that we can do no better than to paraphrase the line in the old New York Sun newspaper columnist Frank Church's wrote in his classic article, Yes Virginia There is a Santa Claus, and say:

Yes, true love still exists. It exists as certainly as caring and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.

Do You Believe That True Love Still Exists Today

  • Yes, because I have found or seen it.
  • Yes, I believe it exists but haven't seen or experienced it
  • No, It might have existed in the past but not in today's world
  • Not sure
See results without voting

© 2009 Chuck Nugent

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Comments 103 comments

FANCY 2 years ago

NO, IT DOSE NOT EXIST, ON EART, BUT IT EXIST IN HEAVEN


Paolocruz profile image

Paolocruz 3 years ago from Philippines

I still believe that love can exist in our present society. It's only a matter of seeing it with the heart. There are couples, somewhere in the hidden corners of this seemingly loveless society, that are experiencing love like they are the luckiest individuals in this planet.


Chuck profile image

Chuck 3 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

Nakia Deon - Thank you for sharing this.

For the record, my wife of over ten years and I hold hands whenever we are walking together. While true love still exists, we have to put forth effort in order to keep it alive in a marriage.

Thanks again.


Nakia Deon profile image

Nakia Deon 3 years ago

Chuck,

I had to come back and tell you that this is the article that keeps on giving. Yesterday I went for a hike in my local metro park and everywhere I looked there were couples holding hands and being all mushy and stuff together.

In the past I either wouldn't have noticed at all or I would of turned my nose up...or even worse - been jealous.

Yesterday I smiled and enjoyed every minute of it.


Chuck profile image

Chuck 3 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

Brad2001 - I agree that love is something you have to work at daily and it is the little things that matter in the long run.

I checked out your Hub "How to Find the Love of Your Life" and would encourage others to check it out as it is a good story with good advice.

Thanks again for your comment and wish you and your family the best.


Chuck profile image

Chuck 3 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

Nakia Deon -Thanks for your comment. I agree that you don't hear much about good love or great love anymore. But I think that true love is all around us, we just don't notice it.


Brad2001 profile image

Brad2001 3 years ago from Lewiston, New York

Great hub! I just posted the story of how I met my wife, the love of my lifetime! Sometimes the little things, like pitching in around the house, go further with women than buying her 'stuff'. I find that if I take the garbage out without being asked, or empty the dishwasher, or give the kids a bath, she usually winds up in a good mood later on in the day. Romance is not always about gifts, or poetry, or 'fireworks' but just navigating the day to day with each other. Thanks for the beautiful hub, I learned alot, check mine out, it may inspire you as well!


Nakia Deon profile image

Nakia Deon 3 years ago

Very interesting take on the subject. Looking at it from your point of view I believe you may be right.

You never hear about the good love or great love any more. Just the bad and more often than not...the worst.


Nyamache profile image

Nyamache 4 years ago from Kenya

You have explained this topic in details. I believe that true love exists. It is only that a lot of emphasize has been put on failure of some marriages making people to think that true love does not exist nowadays.


Sasha 4 years ago

True Love does exist! Beautifully written article too. May I humbly suggest you check out http://penmyprofile.com where we are making real love happen! Good work Chuck! x


PennyR 4 years ago

True love is a dream that can never be caught


msorensson profile image

msorensson 4 years ago

Indeed, it is possible. What a beautiful hub.


Chuck profile image

Chuck 4 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

sunkentreasure - thanks for the inspiring comment. Much of what you said here is well known but doesn't work unless it is reviewed and practiced regularly.

Your comment is a great reminder of the many little things we need to think about and start DOING daily in order to build the type of loving relationship we long for. We have to give in order to receive.

Thanks again for your great advice.


sunkentreasure profile image

sunkentreasure 4 years ago

SECRETS OF LOVE By BERNARD LEVINE

Make your love one feel special everyday.

Do not allow your lives to become routine -

prepare lots of different activities to enjoy.

Never take your loved one for granted.

Keep your love forever precious,

sacred and beautiful.

What you put into your love

is what you will get out of your love.

Enrich your lives with prayer.

Always be your partners best friend.

© Bernard Levine


Chuck profile image

Chuck 4 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

Lyra - thanks for you comment. However, with all due respect, I totally disagree with your assumption as to my great-aunt and uncle's relationship.

I knew my great-aunt and uncle quite well and not only did I never notice anything my great-uncle's character to indicate that would indicate that he would mistreat or harm any woman, let alone his wife, there was also nothing in my great-aunt's character that would indicate she would tolerate such behavior in any man, let alone her husband.

While I don't deny that there are men, and some women, who abuse and mistreat their spouses, I think that the majority of people are decent and that true love still exists. For myself, I know that true love exists as I have a wonderful wife who I love dearly and who loves me equally.


Lyra 4 years ago

I hate to deflate this inspirational story, but...Chuck, how much did you REALLY know about your great-uncle's relationship with his wife? How many times had he called her vile names? Struck her? Cheated on her? Of course you can't claim with certainty that he did none of these things. I can't prove that he did either, but looking at the statistics for abuse and affairs that are brought to light, it is FAR more likely that this is a case of something being covered up or someone not getting caught than a relationship that actually worked. Your great-uncle's attentions were probably due to guilt over past betrayals or the simple boredom that many elderly experience. Please don't use this story as evidence of "true love" unless you can prove beyond doubt that it was.


Jasmine Johnson 4 years ago

I believe true love doesn't exists in today's world....

if they showing sincerity its because you are a perfect marriage material.. not more.


love is hurt 5 years ago

Sometimes love can be a cyclical thing. With romantic love you can go through phases where love changes, it does not make it any less real, but we all have experienced this at some time. For example, passionate love can give way to a deeper love based on companionship. Maybe marriages and relationships end in today's society because people expect it to be like it was at the start. This is not realistic. Great hub, gave me a lot of food for thought!


4tune profile image

4tune 5 years ago from Michigan

This is a Great hub that attracted some the finest people as well I must add.


Miss Paula profile image

Miss Paula 5 years ago

I believe true love still exists you may sometimes have to look for it but I think there is true love out there for everyone.


Aamna Aamad profile image

Aamna Aamad 5 years ago from Pakistan

Love isn't blind or deaf or dumb - in fact it sees far more than it will ever tell. It is going beyond yourself and stretching who you are for someone else. Being in love entails seeing someone as you wish they were: to love them is to see who they really are and still care for them. Love isn't bitter, but you can't have love without pain: sacrifice is the hallmark of love , the coin of love.

Being in love usually is used in a romantic sense when you meet your significant other transforming a normal relationship into a deeper one without further interest in others.

Love means that you trust the person, would do anything for the person, know that person is with you through thick and thin, isn't afraid to be seen with you. make sure they treat you right.

The meaning of love is prolonged mutual protection. Love is real when it is found. It is free when it is grasped. Can you tell with a kiss? Love is the magic/mutual in a kiss. There is no magic in a kiss if there is no love/mutual within it. A kiss with magic has no forced for love makes it gentle.

Great hub by u, voted up


chamilj profile image

chamilj 5 years ago from Sri Lanka

Yes of course true love still exists.


thehemu profile image

thehemu 5 years ago from New Delhi, India

that is so true. Nobody cares about all they wants successful but dreadful ones.


amahubber profile image

amahubber 5 years ago from Egypt

We can always find true love as long as we can find some one like you :)


Ronnie_Dey profile image

Ronnie_Dey 5 years ago from West Bengal, India

Hi Chuck,

I really loved this sentence "Even Divorce Has Elements of Hope for Love." Love really doesn't end, unfortunately we compromise our love for "life" ( particularly the responsibilities.) But at the end, it hurts.


Vibs245 profile image

Vibs245 5 years ago from India

Hey Chuck

Thank you you for writing a great hub and I believe true love always exist and whatever is true is love. The time we start conceptualizing LOVE,it starts vanishing. Unfortunately human mind is made to convert everything to a concept.That's why we see a wave among young generation that true love doesn't exist. But as you say love always existed and will keep surviving. Thank you again for such a lovely hub.


Chuck profile image

Chuck 5 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

padmendra - thanks for your comment and for sharing the story of your friend.

However, optimist that I am, I still feel that true love is as available today as in the past. However, one has to work at it as the easiest way to lose true love is to take it for granted.

History and literature are full of stories of people working and sacrificing for love (Romeo & Juliet, Helen of Troy, Tristan and Isolde, etc.). History and Literature are also full of tragic stories of broken hearts and love lost as in your account of your college friend and the girl whose heart he broke.

However, one sure way of not finding true love is to hang on to a broken heart as that will stand in the way of finding true love with a new and better person.

Thanks again for your comment.


padmendra profile image

padmendra 5 years ago from DELHI/NCR

It is very hard to find as it is not common now. It exists in some cases but the number of such people is very less. My experience is as such that one of my college time friend ditched his girlfriend and married to some other rich girl. But his girl friend is still single and in love with him as her heart beats for him every time she recollects the moments spent with him.She is not able to forget him. God bless her.


kristine 5 years ago

the story about your uncle and aunt's love story makes me wanna weep. thank you for sharing it with us. it changed my mind about love. yes, true love does exist.


PaperNotes profile image

PaperNotes 5 years ago

Love still exists in the heart of every one of us. It is just that we allow it to be hidden under other things we carry in life such as hatred and misgivings.


Justsilvie 5 years ago

Wonderful Hub!

I believe true love does exist but many of us wind up stuck in the Eros phase and when that phase comes to an end we may feel like we have lost something major and often feel like we are no longer desirable or interesting to our partner. Probably because we are, programmed early on from books and movies that usually show only the Eros stage of love and end with “and they lived happily ever after.” So some of us run to find another fix of those great hormones and relive that same feeling over and over again, and then become disillusioned because we can’t seem to find “True love”.

Sad for us because if we hang in there and do make the transition to the Agape form we might discover that what we have then is so much more than we thought possible.


Midtown Girl profile image

Midtown Girl 6 years ago from Right where I want to be!

I choose to believe true love still exists. Without love there is nothing, and acts of love are of utmost importance. Thanks for the history and the great info.


Amez profile image

Amez 6 years ago from Houston, Texas

Well Chuck it's ovious that you truly see how Love works, and I'm sure your living under it's umbreller, I believe Love is as magic as were willing to believe it is, thus it becomes what we make it. or How we apply it to our lives.

I like to read articals that make us think,feel and react. You have done all three for me for that I thank You.


cupid51 profile image

cupid51 6 years ago from INDIA

Love is always true. Love may or may not exist in a relationship. Love may appear into or disappear from the relationship. But when it appears, whatever may its duration, it is always true.


aefrancisco profile image

aefrancisco 6 years ago from somewhere down the road

Great Hub -

YES. TRUE LOVE EXISTS - if only our senses are sensitive enough to recognize it :)

Thanks for sharing :)


vannarith profile image

vannarith 6 years ago

Truth love will exist forever. i love this sentence.

http://loveandjoke.blogspot.com/


black romeo profile image

black romeo 6 years ago from Nigeria

true love still exist, you can find true love with those that are committed to it.


Shamonj profile image

Shamonj 6 years ago from Detroit

This is beautiful, thanks for posting it. God bless you.


fallbrookbetty profile image

fallbrookbetty 6 years ago from Fallbrook

Great Topic, a great author, Rick Warren-A Purpose Driven Life,that a real fellowship, just like real realationships is about experiencing life together. It includes unselfish loving, comforting, they share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, acknowledge weaknesses.ect... that is what true love consists of. When I first got married twenty years ago, I thought that my husband was my true love. Our sexual relationship was strong, we made it through many storms together. The thing that was missing was the sacrificial giving of ourselves to each other. The true comforting when I went through my five major surgies. Yes, we are still married, have three beautiful teenagers, but we don't sleep together anymore. We don't date, or spend time anymore, because now we just co-exist together in the same house. I saw it with his parents and I saw it with my parents. True love exists with Jesus Christ, he loves you unconditionally. Do I miss being touched like a woman should be touched and caressed? You bet, it is very lonely living in an empty marriage, but I know that God and Jesus love me just the way I am, for now I believe that is enough.


ElishaTheTruth profile image

ElishaTheTruth 6 years ago

Absolutely!...I was married to an abusive man for 7 years when I was 20 years old. Four kids later I decide that there is no way that I could live like that so I got a divorce and it took me two years to get myself to the point where I can accept the fact that I am capable of loving someone again. My willingness to "try again" is what makes me believe that true love does exist. Just because I had a horrible experience in the past doesn't mean that I'm going to let bitterness keep me from meeting the love of my life.

I have a love for people, no matter what the relationship and by walking in that love for others I find that others will love you back. You only get out of a relationship what you put in...If you put in nothing, than you cannot expect to miraculously make something appear. I'm excited about falling in love, and look forward to spending the rest of my life with my one true love!

Thanks Chuck for that great hub...it really made me think about somethings.


bengriston profile image

bengriston 6 years ago

Of course it does. Not all couples end up in unhappy divorces.


itcoll profile image

itcoll 6 years ago

yes.it definitely does.i have no doubt about that.


ConnorsMom2010 6 years ago

I think that true love DEFINITELY exists... it always has and it always will.. the problem is so many people spend alot of their time looking for that one person that fits all the criteria of what they consider the "perfect" person so they pass up opportunities to meet the "right" person for them... I'm still madly in love with my boyfriend after 6 six years and I don't think I can ever imagine my life without him or with another person... I still recognize that there are attractive people out there but once I see the good things in them, I start thinking about the things that make me happy about my man =-) No one can ever compare to my guy.. but we were best friends before we were in a relationship... my aunt told me once that you should marry your best friend.. and I think I agree... a good friendship is a massive bond and evolving it into a relationship can only make it stronger in most cases... I found him once I stopped looking for that "perfect guy"... as soon as I stopped... he fell into my lap.. people should focus more on enjoying life and doing the things that make them happy.. it's doing the things you like that introduce you to other people who have the same interests.. and that could lead into something extremely rewarding.. whether it's a friend for life or your "true love" or like I said before.. it's your best friend that you realize later that IS your one and only.


christianesk profile image

christianesk 6 years ago from The Global Hamlet

Much truth, a detailed hub. Well expressed on the greatest of all things - true love. I have typed some thoughts on it too - from a different perspective, here: http://hubpages.com/politics/True-Lovers


ktps profile image

ktps 6 years ago

chuck. i think love does still exist but you have to work for it just like a job. the reason im saying it is because you'll know if you love the person if you cant stand not being around that person but if your to comfortable its not going to work out cause the little things will annoy you. if the couple takes some time away and is not together 24 hours a day there still mystery in the romance cause once the mystery gone the romance is


christianbooks profile image

christianbooks 6 years ago

Hi Chuck , I have to agree with you that people are blinded about the idea of true love, often times if its not a Romeo and Juliet plot it's not true love--- it is sad that people forget the fact that love is more than romance and passion.

I am glad that you took time to elaborate on that. On my opinion , people tend to ignore the fact that true love is simple and does exists , one should simply need to be sensitive enough to comprehend that life itself is love. That when you share your life with complete devotion and commitment whether it be towards your partner , your parents , your friend -- that is already true love. As long as there are people in this world -- definitely , TRUE LOVE STILL EXISTS !


Monsa profile image

Monsa 6 years ago from Maidenhead, berkshire

Hi Chuck, lovely heart warming hub. I am very new to this hubbing business and it is good to see how one should be written. I am sitting here sniffing (starting a cold) but now with a warmth in my heart. Of course true love does exist but it is easy to think we have found it (because that is what we want) when actually we are projecting it on to the other person, and then are very surprised when they do not have the same feelings.

Hope this makes sense.


Chuck profile image

Chuck 6 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

mikespec - thanks for you comments.

The really wonderful thing is that stories about my Great Aunt and Uncle's love and your Grandparent's love and how they showed it are not that uncommon. In both of these cases, and thousands like them, the couple faced extraordinary circumstances and rose to the occasion beautifully.

While these extraordinary actions are inspiring, they the culmination of a lifetime of little, and generally unnoticeable to all but the two lovers, actions expressing this love. In a previous Hub on love ( http://hubpages.com/relationships/Saying_I_Love_Yo... ) I recounted an instance where my stepdaughter was suddenly taken ill in the night and, with no other place to go we had to take her to the ER. My wife and daughter were new to this country so I had to take charge and manage the situation. So, while I alerting our other two teenagers to where we were going and and getting my wife and daughter to the car, my wife took a moment while we were running out to grab a book I had been reading and take it with her knowing that my usual practice when going anyplace where we would have to sit and wait was to take reading material with me.

Thanks again.

Chuck


mikespec profile image

mikespec 6 years ago from NJ

The story of your Great Uncle and Aunt closely resembled that of my Grandfather and Grandmother. I was always amazed by his resolve and ability to care for at home and at his work he was a Barber and took her with him to work for over 12 years he worked into his 90's. While he was being treated for Cancer My Grandmother died in a nursing home. My grandfather passed within the following year although he had recovered from the Cancer.


GoodbyeAtmosphere profile image

GoodbyeAtmosphere 6 years ago

There are only a few sentences to express how love works.

Love can only succeed in a relationship when both people are willing to make it work. If there is a problem outside or beyond the couple, then it is up to the two in the relationship to make it work despite the interference of others.


Timely profile image

Timely 6 years ago from United States

Chuck, an absolutely wonderful hub. I have witnessed couples only a few in my lifetime that found true love. I myself have not given up. Having a soul mate that your heart is captive to keeps every day life in focus. Blessed are the couples that have each other. Thank you. You have a new fan.


mercon profile image

mercon 6 years ago

I believe that true love is still there


Altairk profile image

Altairk 6 years ago from New Orleans and Beyond

How can you ask this question? "Does love still exist in today's time?" One can't gauge love of the past as being different or even existing. Stupid topic. You can't say "still" or "was" and "remember" because YOU were not there! You are here today and I've experienced love and I see it everyday. Very ignorant and useless topic, terrible... As a human, and as any human who even tries to understand the human condition, you will find love everywhere. Stupid. I don't know why I'm even commenting on this... Love is what keeps people living most of the time damn it.


JJ (pachuca213) 6 years ago

I truly believe in True love and that it does exist. But it is very rare. There are also different types of true love...the True Romantic love of partners/Soul Mates...I know that exists because I have experienced it. And then I believe another type of True love is the unconditional love that we share for our children and/or family members..and sometimes dear friends. But like I said, its rare in the world we are living in today. Great hub!


Millionheir 6 years ago

Hey Chuck I'm new to this hub thing and i really appreciated your article on love i would like to spread the love and and also wanted u to show me some love by adding yourself as my friend on ur page....!


markminer profile image

markminer 6 years ago from Albany, Oregon

I think we are still capable of the love that was always there since the creation of time. I just think that our country has gotten so desensitized and cold, that sometimes it's hard for us to show any physical affection or emotional response without feeling like we're going to be punished for it.


Unique Kids Stuff profile image

Unique Kids Stuff 6 years ago

I believe myself but it is not easy to find.


JaShinYa profile image

JaShinYa 6 years ago from Harrisburg, PA

True can and does exist. Unfortunately, too many people don't know what love is, or are too selfish to share that kind of relationship.

Great hub!


Home Girl 6 years ago

I loved my husband very much. But people change and love can change and die too...


Jessica Jones 6 years ago

I believe in true love.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 6 years ago from Western Australia

Thank you Chuck for great description of love and your inspiring family love story. I have similar examples of happy and also unhappy love story in my family. Love is here and stays here with us. Some anthropologists believe that human evolution has something to do with human bonding and love...

If you have time please visit me on my blogs:

http://hubpages.com/literature/So-much-makes-sense...

http://universalandparticular.wordpress.com

http://bitersweetbeata.blogspot.com


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 6 years ago from On New Footing

What a beautiful and inspiring hub. I am separated from my third husband at the moment, so my attitude toward love is currently that it has abandoned me.

I was touched by the story of your aunt and uncle. I would love to have someone who I could be so close with. It was an inspiring story that helps one to have hope that true love still exists!

Thanks!


Nan Mynatt profile image

Nan Mynatt 6 years ago from Illinois

Excellent analysis of LOVE. Most of us don't want the hurt and pain of falling in love. You open yourself up to hurt if it does not work out. I believe in true love. You have to be compatible with the person, not just wanting them. I will keep your ideas in mind when I fall in love again!


Hanna Bambina profile image

Hanna Bambina 6 years ago

It all depends on what you believe and what experiences have made you worthy of love...


loveislam profile image

loveislam 6 years ago

nice bro


tumbleweed20 6 years ago

true love exists even when they have never even met or even after death. I can only say from my experience that it is true


NotMyself profile image

NotMyself 6 years ago from Current.

I enjoyed reading this very much--sorry, but I have to say that true love does not exist anymore these days. We are too transfixed on superficial blindness to even begin to understand the wealth of the human heart. True love is only a falsity. It is only two fools that happen on a misunderstanding.


samsungbeholdt919 6 years ago

Love Will Endure!


Patrick wood profile image

Patrick wood 6 years ago

Nice hub, Love your theme. We are living and world is going. When love dies i don't think anybody will remain here.


Robert Clinton profile image

Robert Clinton 6 years ago

"True Love Still Exists, We Just Have to Look for It", yeah i also think we just see negative part of relation, think much on contradictory topics. If we give much time for understanding each other, that will take more close to love.


Artemus Gordon profile image

Artemus Gordon 6 years ago

Of course true love still exists!! I do think we need to slow and down and enjoy the relationships that we have and spend more time developing them.


pokey29 profile image

pokey29 6 years ago from Somewhere Canada

Wonderful Chuck, Good article, If everyone in the world would now just believe in it. Or just remember that feeling when you first felt it, when you looked into her eye, your your whole body felt weird. Or when your dog or pet looks up at you when your petting him/her. Love, true love, unconditional love, first love, these are part of life, enjoy and don't miss out.


Mitch King profile image

Mitch King 6 years ago from Wilsoville, OR, USA

I hate to say that you should go out and look for true love. I found mine when I was least expecting it. If you are looking you are more likely to project your hopes on the relationship.


soumyasrajan 6 years ago from Mumbai India and often in USA

Hi! Chuck

Nice article. I feel that people mostly talk, write or present in media about not so true love because it is a bit odd behavior hence makes an interesting story. Otherwise silent majority is indeed generally in true love.

regards


SoftCornHippo profile image

SoftCornHippo 6 years ago

Of course there are all kinds of love - so there are all kinds of true love - the thing that kills love, in my opinion, is expectations - when you EXPECT to be loved back in some particular way, you may get disappointed, but when you just give your natural love without expecting anything -you really LIVE LOVE! People have to be kind and good to each other in order for love to live - and that happens in many ways all the time. Even animals give and receive love - I've seen it - and they stay attached to each other as long as they can. So Peace gives Love, Love gives Joy and Joy makes life worth living! Thanks for your lovely writing!


feeweewv profile image

feeweewv 6 years ago from Between A Dream And Reality

I think true love exists today... I also think that it is harder to distinguish these days due to too many distractions in our every day life. True love exists with your children and Jesus. That's all anyone really needs anyway... anything else is just a bonus.


lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 6 years ago from Alberta and Florida

True love certainly exists. That excitement in the beginning is only the beginning, and when time turns the relationship into something like comfy slippers, that's true love. He's no longer Prince Charming, but you can't imagine life without that other person in it. He's the one that comes to mind when you want to share something from your day. It's maybe a little on the dull side, but excitement day after day -- that's hard to live with.


sarahamos91 profile image

sarahamos91 6 years ago from Australia

Of course it exists.

Love is totally subjective and comes in many different forms, that I believe certainly can't be placed in to three categories (eros, agape, philia). You just have to open your eyes to it, in order to find it.


masmasika 6 years ago

This is a great article. I believe true love still exists today but because of so many distractions, some people sometimes find little time or no time at all to express true love to their love ones. True love does not come from only one party. It must be worked out from both the man and the woman. truly, this is such a good topic to write about. thanks for sharing, Chuck.


Chuck profile image

Chuck 6 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

stuck in the middle - thanks for visiting and for your comment.

As to your question, it has always been my understanding/belief that eros is what attracts and brings people together and then agape love can develop if the couple chooses to work and develop it.

So, yes, I think that you can choose to create agape love and can develop it if you then work at developing it.

Chuck


stuck in the middle 6 years ago

Is it possible for eros love to transform into agape love? Before reading this article, I thought that i was falling out of love with my partner of two years because the initial feelings i felt towards him were like fireworks, it is not as explosive these days, but when faced with the possibility of life without him, I realised I still love him very much. So If its started like eros, can we create agape from it?


floating mind profile image

floating mind 6 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

What a very nice hub. Thank you for it.

Sure True Love exists. And True Love is available for anyone to have. All you have to do is let yourself have it. (Life experience prompted the previous statement.) To me, it seems that many of us hold back on the things we want for one reason or another. Seldom do we just enjoy what is directly in front of us.

If we drop the materialism and not worry about how we may be perceived by others and just let love happen, I think that all of us will find that love is all around us. And maybe … just maybe, you will notice that someone has been directing love toward you.


Joe Rodgers profile image

Joe Rodgers 6 years ago

Very interesting. I think anything outside of unconditional love really is a choice. People choose to give relationships a chance and choose to make it work every step of the way.It's all about the action that's initiated by the feeling and desire of love.

You have to accpet a person for who they are and sometimes that means looking past the small flaws. Sometimes people are to quick to call it quits in today's society and are seriously afraid of becoming somebody that settled.

I think one of the reasons for the older generation relationships lasting a lifetime is because of that, they truly worked on their relationships through the ups and downs and rarely just threw their hands up and said forget it. In regards to marriages, it's kind of accepted nowadays to just get divorced, and I think that's truly unfortunate.

If a couple has a strong enough desire and understands the work and sacrifice that is necessary, love can be a really beautiful thing.


Bhawna Sharma profile image

Bhawna Sharma 6 years ago from Mumbai, India

Chuck,

You took a very touching and live topic to discuss on and presented it in a very open, optimistic way.

People may have varying view on this concept depending upon their style of thinking and experiences they had. Many would oppose and say there is nothing called true love. What I feel is, doubt arises when they have not experienced it in their lives. Neither giving nor taking. Another reason could be when they get betrayed. In the first case, they should wait for this miracle to happen in their life. In second case, if they think that they have loved truly but never get reciprocated, it proves that at least they are there as an example of true love.

No matter what, till we have emotions we will love---less or more, sooner or later.


Chuck profile image

Chuck 6 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

Jennifer D - you summed this up perfectly.

Thanks for the great, and very enlightening, comment.

Chuck


Jennifer D. profile image

Jennifer D. 6 years ago from Canada

Thanks for a well-written Hub, Chuck.

I have always believed that true love exists, and although I know I have the capabilities to love truly, I believe that both partners must show love in order for it to be true.

Love is not only a feeling, but it is also action; a feeling that you have towards a person is nothing if you don't follow through with showing them that you love them.

Unfortunately, I think that people often love on different levels, and I am not talking eros vs. philos here.

One can love another with so much depth that the other person just isn't capable of giving; or in my true opinion, wants to give.

I see so much selfishness in regards to love. I myself have loved unconditionally, only to be conditioned about the feelings and action that I would desperately receive.

Love will remain a hot topic in the future, and will always be on my mind: Does he love me as much as I love him? Does he love me half as much as I love him?

It is all displayed in the words and actions expressed.


elliot.dunn 6 years ago

thank you for that wonderful reminder of true love. the story of your uncle and aunt is so tender and touching...what a wonderful testimony to enduring faithfulness. as a young person in a relationship, it can be very depressing to see so many in our culture divorcing left and right and espousing the claim that marriage is outdated and unnecessary. i agree completely with your focus on eros love - love today has become much more about satisfying desire than about commitment to one person. true love embodies agape, eros, and philos through service and faithfulness.

thank for these enduring truths.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago

Chuck,

This is Great and quite interesting! One should really think about what life is all about? Does TRUE LOVE still exist! Hmmmm, Yes it does! God is LOVE and He is eternal! Love is patient, kind and... I can also say after all these years I LOVE my husband even more. We continue to challenge one another and build a quality relationship and this is our 38th year of marriage! I think marriage should be tended like a precious garden and appreciated, like a fine antique get better and more valuable with age! Thank You, Blessings


sabbatha1 profile image

sabbatha1 6 years ago from patriciamccarty@rocketmail.com

I seem to wonder that alot myself. Is there still true love out there? Does it take a lifetime to find it? Will you find it before you pass to another life? I wonder!


tracy_alfred profile image

tracy_alfred 6 years ago

there is no tru love in this world


Chuck profile image

Chuck 6 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

abentley - thanks for your comment.

I wrote this Hub in response to a request and had the impression from the wording of the request that the person requesting felt that true love was dying out or is not compatible in the present age.

The angle that I tried to present was that love still exists but that many of us are blinded by current society's emphasis on romance and don't notice the many examples of true love that are all around us.

This is why I devoted so much space to the definitions of love. I wasn't trying to get into a deep philosophical or religious presentation (although both are important in this area and have much to offer to the discussion) but to show that the definition of love is more than just romance (which is great but still not the whole picture) and, once we begin to look at love in within this broader definition, we can see true love all around us.

Hopefully, seeing true love in this manner will help more people to find it. Of course, like anything else in life, true love does require work and commitment.

Chuck


abentley profile image

abentley 6 years ago from California

I strongly believe that true love exist among people even in the new generation. Love is eternal and it is never perishable. I think Love is always there around us, but it we who fail to identify it. It is the love that helps us to grow stronger. Just be yourself and love without any jealously or partiality. I assure that you will get the true love in your life.


Chuck profile image

Chuck 6 years ago from Tucson, Arizona Author

Legacy Wellness - Congratulations to you and your wife on your upcoming 40th anniversary.


hasntHappenedYet 6 years ago

wow ! I'm nearing 50, unhappily married and still wondering what the hell happened to me.


Legacy Wellness profile image

Legacy Wellness 6 years ago from Katy, Texas

Great HUB. I vote for the AGAPE type. By the way my wife and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary in November. She is and always has been - The LOVE of my life!


ocbill profile image

ocbill 6 years ago from hopefully somewhere peaceful and nice

like one commenter made, it is hard to exist in a mdoern bustling city but in the far out burbs and countryside it probably thrives more. I believe the Philia area is more evident in the metropolis


tutormingle profile image

tutormingle 6 years ago

Hey buddies! Why are you wasting time here? All rich&beautiful people are waiting for you at ukwealthymen.com. Let them find you if you want to enjoy a classy and wealthy life style!


Miss Goody-Goody profile image

Miss Goody-Goody 6 years ago

Nice post Chuck! Of course it exists!

and to Vizey: i bet you also want to believe it exists. the reason why you think it does not, is because you are sacrificed and compromised by the society rather than your own heart.


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 6 years ago from Anaheim, CA

Hey Chuck, this Hub is right up my alley. I know true love as I am truly in love. I met and fell in love with my beautiful wife when I was 14 years old. 9 years later we were married and began a family together about a year later. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not completely grateful to have her to share my life with. She gets more beautiful every day and is the sweetest, kindest soul I have ever met. Our life isn't perfect and we have our differences from time to time. But my love and commitment to her is so strong, I could never see my life without her there.

I feel bad for people like Vizey who says true love doesn't exist. But let me reassure you, true love does still exist in our lives and I am living proof. The only motive or reward I get is being able to see that beautiful face every morning when I wake up. Yes, there is give and take in life, but when you're in love, it's just love.


Vizey profile image

Vizey 6 years ago

Hey Chuck Nice topic you have chosen "True Love". well I dont think today there exist any true love. I this fast moving world where we live on "Give and Take" Relationship it is impossible for anyone to do sacrifice for his/her beloved without any motive or reward!!!!


linda-patriot profile image

linda-patriot 6 years ago

chuck, really informative hub for people who haven't studied love and the three types.

once when I was a flight Attendant, I had prayed and asked God to let me feel His love for people. This happened when I least expected it. I was on a busy flight. One passenger wanted his change back from us. We were so busy, we kept forgetting his change. The other flight Attendant gave me some nickles and dimes to pay him back, she was very irritated with the man. I leaned over to give him the change and instantaneously this overwhelming love just poured from my heart. I was crying I loved him so much, I appologized that it had taken us a while to give him back the change. He could see it. He was stunned, he knew I loved him and was so touched. It was a supernatural moment for me. I've yet to love anyone to the extent I loved that man in that 2 to 3 minutes. I'm sure I couldn't love to the extent God loves us in this human body but I came as close to it as we can here in these bodies. Gods love is not in these 3 definitions. He loves us unconditionally and is not partial. He has so much compassion, as heknows us so completely knowing all of our secrets. This was an experience I will never forget. I can't remember the mans face but I remember the expression on his face as he saw unconditional love, pure love eminating from my eyes. He was startled and appologized for harassing us so. God is so faithful! Every time I have prayed for an experience with Him He has done great and mighty things! I love my husband with Agape love and thats great! But, Gods' love is millions of times greater than we can possibly love. And He loves each of us with that great love!


lyricsingray 6 years ago

Chuck, thank you for a beautifully written Hub on my favorite topic, love. And true love at that. May we never stop striving for it but may we stop, see in our moment just what we already have. Bless.


Aya Katz profile image

Aya Katz 6 years ago from The Ozarks

Chuck, thanks for this survey of conventional views of love. To me, true love does not mean eros, agape or philia. Love is not a relationship -- it is a feeling. To me, true love means limerence, and it does not depend on reciprocation for its existence.

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