Is Age Really A Factor?
Does age really matter when it comes to being happy or having a lasting marriage? There are many ideas on what the optimal age difference between partners should be. Most publications or studies I have seen say that the best age difference between partners is 3-5 years. Anything greater than 9 years is considered a significant age difference. A significant age difference between partners can mean a difference in lifestyle, beliefs, tastes, energy levels, and sex drives. But this does not mean that two people with a significant age difference cannot have a very happy marriage or relationship. It just means that they may have to work a little harder at it at times. I think that age is a state of mind and if two people are compatible then their actual age doesn't really matter. As long as they are adults to start with of course.
Men who marry younger women live longer lives. Reasoning is that she has a stronger social presence and it motivates and helps the man who typically doesn't have as much social interaction with people.
The greater the age difference (younger or older) between partners the lower the woman's life expectancy. Reasoning is that she receives less social support because of violating the norms in society and tends to be rejected from society.
Lifestyle, Beliefs, Energy Levels
People usually start dating and start relationships because there is some kind of connection there. They connect on some level. If the connection is there and can be built upon, the age difference sits in the background. It can rear its head at times and should be dealt with as it does. If there are disagreements on things such as beliefs, those should be discussed and worked out. Really no different in a relationship without a significant age difference. If there are lifestyle issues then I do not think those two people would really be together to start with. They would determine early on that they have different lifestyles that do not agree with one another. We all have different energy levels regardless of age. There are many older people that have a higher energy level than their younger counterpart. I think this is something once again that can be worked out if two people care for one another and it becomes a problem later in the relationship.
Realizing A Few Things
Being in a relationship with someone that is significantly older means you have to understand that there will come a time when your older partner will not be as active as you are. Or that you may have to take care of your spouse later in life. Children may not have that parent as long as the other younger parent. These are things that have to be expected and should be thought about before you make the commitment to be in that relationship. Realizing this later in the relationship could cause the relationship to end. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Your older spouse could outlive you by years. But you have to know that things like this are a possibility.
Our Significant Age Difference
I have been married to my husband for 4 years and have been with him for 7 years now. He is 17 years older than me. This is our second marriage for both of us. I had two children by my previous marriage and he had none. I intended on him being my Sugar Daddy! I would always laugh and tell him and all my friends this as we were dating. The Sugar Daddy status ended when I found myself expecting our first child together. Oops. He had his first child at 50 years old. Fourteen months later we had a second child together. With four children all together he became a father and no longer could be considered my Sugar Daddy. We connected the first time we met on many levels and age did not really play into it. We do find at times that age comes up or may be the reason for disagreements on things. We work those things out. I sometimes wonder what planet he is on or can not figure out why he feels the way he does about things. We can agree to disagree on things at times and just leave it at that. I have no clue what he is talking about when he references old TV shows or things that happened in the 60's. I give him that opportunity to be the expert on something and enlighten me. It is quite funny at times. I can't wait until he can get his 10% senior citizen discount at Hardee's! We have a lot of kids and that will go a long way. His friends have grandchildren and he has a 4 year old daughter and 3 year old son with two stepchildren under 13. He says he wouldn't have it any other way. Being in our relationship is sometimes like being in a hurricane because that is just the type of woman I am. Our significant age difference gives our relationship a nice balance and I wouldn't want it any different. So it is possible to be happy when there is a significant age difference with a little extra effort here and there.
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