Is Love or Lust More Powerful?

Every breath you take, every move you make...

From a popular love song by the Police, these words ring true for anyone who has ever experienced feelings of love or lust. There is a fine line, but what are the differences?

Not one thing influences people more than this topic in general. Love and lust literally influence every move we make and every breath we take- where we live, if we marry, if we have kids, how long we live, where we work, how much money we make, how much money we spend, whether we are happy or not- it's always on our minds.

For me, not one thing is more intriguing. I've spent personal and professional time studying this topic. The first study I assisted with in college got me hooked. It demonstrated love is indeed powerful. The study found that people performed various tasks, both mental and physical, substantially better when they received praise (before the tasks) from someone they loved (and were in a relationship with) compared to someone random in general.

I've often wondered whether love or lust is more powerful. When lust between a couple dissipates, does love become more powerful? Does lust make us fall in love? Why do some people cheat? You might be surprised by the information I've gathered.

I Want to Know What Love Is...

(Another great love song)

Romantic love, a combination of love and lust, is said to be more powerful than love or lust by themselves. One of Helen Fisher's (a biological anthropologist) central ideas is that romantic love is a drive stronger than the sex drive (lust). She says, “After all, if you causally ask someone to go to bed with you and they refuse, you don’t slip into a depression, or commit suicide or homicide like you could for the sake of new love." Romantic love involves both strong mental and physical desires. But eventually, we know, it stops sizzling and starts fizzling, which means we are left with feelings of love and perhaps lust (for our partner and/or others). So which dominates a relationship?

The lines between love and lust are blurred. Sexologist John Money draws the line between love and lust in this way: "Love exists above the belt, lust below. Love is lyrical. Lust is lewd." One difference is, love considers both the other person and yourself, while lust is purely a selfish motivation. However, lust is a component of the physical chemistry that attracts one person to another, which can result in love. The puzzle seems to be more entangled than before, but we are getting the idea that the two work together.

The brain chemistry of lust is physically more powerful than love, hands down. Some studies suggest if we are in love, we are more likely to be lustful for our partners AND other people in general. Being in love and in a relationship is a catch 22. For example, when a man has purely general thoughts of his wife, he will increasingly think of sex with her, AND other women as well. Desire, in general, aso increases for women who are in relationships, but not always desire for their partner. 

However, being in love makes a person think twice about acting on their lust with someone besides their partner. Lust for one's partner can strengthen the attraction and love for them. Lust may be the ingredient that makes love stronger, and of course, weaker in the cases of cheating.

Being in a relationship and in love signifies having access to sex when we want- or at least that's the theory. If we know we are capable of fulfilling our lustful needs with our partner or spouse then we are more likely to have lust on the brain. One study demonstrated this by showing various images of the opposite sex to people/participants who were in relationships and to people not in relationships- both men and women who were in relationships rated more images to be attractive than those not in relationships. Interesting.

Your Cheatin' Heart

The statistics for extramarital affairs have remained pretty steady for several decades now- about 20-25% of couples have experienced a cheating spouse. However, the ones that actually get caught is a much lower statistic. The steady rate can mean that lust hasn't changed over decades and is within our body a consistent, natural physical reaction.

In one study: "It is surprising the wives and husbands and girlfriends aren't more suspicious," says Lever. "Even when they know something's amiss — a sex life that's fizzled or intimacy waning — they count on their partner's love to keep them from straying." This comment alludes to the fact that lust is more powerful when the relationship is in trouble.

What I derive from various studies is there exists a perfect cocktail for cheating: relationship issues and a highly lustful partner. Truth is, love is not always powerful enough to be the sole ingredient for a healthy relationship. And some people experience lust more powerfully than others, making it harder for them to deny it.

Some would think that the statistic above states only 20% of people cheat so love must make the other 80% stay faithful, therefore love is more powerful. I thought this too, but upon further researching and reasoning, I came to the conclusion that the other 80% mostly falls into two other categories; 1. those that lust for their partner and don't cheat and 2. those that are dutifully in love, meaning the kind of love that maintains for a while because the partners feel it is their duty to stay. In the first scenario, lust is still a major factor and in the second scenario, it is out of duty, which will not last forever in most cases.

The Power of Love

Well, not really...

The power lies in lust because it is based on natural, physically driven forces of survival (think, caveman). It's not necessary to be in love to reproduce, but lust is certainly a main factor in reproduction- lust is the motivation. In society today, loving relationships are formed for numerous other scenarios besides reproduction, but it doesn't mean feelings of lust go away- they are that much more powerful, having survived our evolution and civilization.

Think of creative works such as music and books. How many of those were sparked by love or lust? You may think love, but I bet they were driven by lust; wanting to get someone to love them, notice them, make love to them, or not leave them. Whenever we have our more intense feelings of love toward our partners, they are almost always tinged with feelings of lust, yearning, and wanting. Lust has driven us before love was involved.

 

 

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Comments 202 comments

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Thoughtful Hub.

Some lust is necessary, because without it, we would never reproduce, but lust without love and commitment is very destructive because it produces fatherless children and desperate mothers.


Robwrite profile image

Robwrite 5 years ago from Bay Ridge Brooklyn NY

Lust is a more immediate reaction. Love takes time. Relationships based only on lust tend to be mostly unhappy and end badly.


Old Poolman profile image

Old Poolman 5 years ago from Rural Arizona

Very interesting and thought provoking hub. I suspect that many relationships start with a combination of love and lust all rolled into one, then one of the two fades away. My guess is that lust would prevail even after love has slipped away. I'll have to give this some more thought but would have to guess that lust comes first and is sometimes followed by love in some relationships.


arthurchappell profile image

arthurchappell 5 years ago from Manchester, England

Clever relating the topic to popular tunes and a strong thoughtful hub too


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago

Thought provoking. It's like chicken and egg question, but in this case, it's nicer to have both.


SilverGenes 5 years ago

First of all, I want to thank you for separating them. Love and lust are not the same thing but more and more in popular culture, we seem to be using the word 'love' when we mean 'sex'. Do you remember the first crush you ever had? I wonder what that's about, since we seem to do that long before we reach puberty so one can't call it 'lust' really. No matter what we call it, there's a magic about it that is responsible for a lot of creative expression :)


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

Laura, you pick such great subjects and give such unique takes .. That's what makes you one of a kind, and you know I love ya. HOWEVER! ...

Leave it to me to screw up the flow, but feel like love is stronger. Lust, while fun, works in "power surges," but love is 24-7 power. It's like a blast from a fire hose verses the ongoing stream from a garden hose. While the fire hose's blast makes the dominate impression, at the end of the month the garden hose moved more dirt, saturated more soil, and is responsible for the nutrition needed to make life grow. That fire hose is cool and can get things going, but must be brought down to a steady stream, less it destroy everything in it's path. I lost the love of my life when I was young because I couldn't get my freaking fire hose under control. (laughing)

This is a scolding for you as well. You inspire me sis, then you don't read the results of your inspiration. Get you butt over there and read part 1 and 2 of my last pieces. My political hubs are coming to an end as the I will wind it up before the old law of deminishing return sets in. I'll be working some different venues.

Seriously, I know you're a busy girl, so don't worry about the reads. It's just different words same message. I just want to make sure I've come in all doors before moving on. When have you some time and feel a little gabby, drop me a line and give me the latest. I'd rather have that than the reads if I had to make a choice.

The Housefire Project is moving steadily upward. My gig fits the right people like a glove, and pushes the not so right people to the side. I just brought in a new member to the team. She's an Internet genius, and advertising manager. She's very dedicated to me and the cause. Mike will have most of the legal crap done and can cut her loose on the project in a few weeks.

Good to have you back sis!

jim


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I believe lust is programmed into each person, more or less, to insure the suvival of the species...a gift from our Creator. I disagree with the quote locating lust. I think, it too, begins in the brain as does love. Which comes first is another "chicken or the egg" quandry. With the vast number of people, all different, in the world, I believe the concept of separation is too obtuse to arrive at any definite conclusion, other than one affects the other profoundly and they can and do exist without each other. Degrees of either are as varied as the couples intertwined. Science does not give us all the answers. Couples don't have all the answers. Experience doesn't insure knowledge enough to ever change the course of each individual coupling or inhibit the ongoing quest for both love and lust. This is a very thought provoking, well written topic of interest for every person alive, izettl. Thank you


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Keep on singing and thinking.

Good hub... I like your reasoning. Fits with my Four Levels of Love hub!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

I'm not certain, Laura, which emotion is more powerful but I do know that "I love you," has more staying power than "I lust (for) you." Would you agree?

Excellent dissertation though - I had to rad it all. :)


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 5 years ago from Vermont, USA

While referencing popular songs I'd like to include the Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Get What You Want"...("but sometimes, you get what you need").

Distilled down to the essence I think Lust is Want, while Love is Need. They overlap, and when combined the result is certainly "Satisfaction".

CP


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 5 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Great article. Love is the cake, lust is the icing... Flag up!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

dallas93444~ THank you so much.

CP~ The combination is certainly the best scenario. Great song reference and completely perfect (kicking myself in the butt for not thinking of that).

drbj~ "I love you" is powerful, well yes, but often said as a habit for many couples- it doesn't always mean something deep. However, "I lust you" doesn't sound good. I don't know about you but "I WANT you" is music to my ears. That usually means what it implies, you can't fake that one!

Neil~ Sounds like a hub I'll go check out! THanks for stopping by.


shogan profile image

shogan 5 years ago from New England

izettl, in a solid relationship or marriage, I don't think there is any real separation between lust and love. The two mingle constantly, almost keeping each other sparking.


DavePrice profile image

DavePrice 5 years ago from Sugar Grove, Ill

I think, for me, there is a definite difference between lust and desire. Lust certainly leans to the sinful side, for it involves the fondling of thoughts that drive toward wrong actions. Desire, on the other hand, is something that certainly goes hand in hand with love and should never dissipate. The desire I feel for my wife isn't lust, and in fact I think its precisely that which keeps me from lust. I know when we married I loved her so much I never wanted to have even an unfaithful thought, and I prayed often and long that my desire would always be for my wife - and God is faithful. I think its the process of fondling the stray thought that leads to lust, and fondled enough leads to wrong actions. But that's just me.


shogan profile image

shogan 5 years ago from New England

I'm fine with acknowledging that I lust after my wife. I'm not sure how that's unfaithful, Dave. I'm guessing that we're defining the word differently.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

YIKES! It seems I accidentally deleted my comments back to the first commenters on this hub- my apologies!

Amy~ first, I want to say I love your comment. I agree totally on the comment about love and lust, below and above the belt. That is not true for most women. For men, on the other hand, it's fairly true. Women lust with their brains and emotions. I don't think this is a chicken or egg discussion though because lust typically comes before love, hands down. THe discussion I was aiming to present is about whether love or lust is more powerful, in or out of a relationship. Perhaps it's the lust in a loving relationship that makes us do anything for the one we love. I do agree it's hard to separate the two, especially given that every individual and couple can be different. Thanks for adding to the discussion.

David Price~ Lust is powerful in that it can make some people do what is illegal or dishonest, etc- even good people can be led astray. Thoughts precede actions and therefore I agree with you about even having the thougths that can lead people astray. Thanks for the comment.

shogan~ there is usually both love and lust in a relationship and what I thought was interesting was that someone in a relationship is more likely to have lustful thoughts of both their spouse AND other people. THe unfaithful part is if someone acts on the lustful thoughts of others- obviously. You may lust after your wife, but one of the studies I mentioned states that you may also lust after other people more, just because you are married. Lusting after your wife is not unfaithful, that's not my point at all. Because you are married you may have more lustful thoughts in general about anybody.

Will Starr~ couldn't have put it better myself. Great comment!

Robwrite~ you are so right. I think we've all done it or witnessed that.

Old Poolman~ You're onto something here. I was thinking about what you said and yes, I think love fades when lust never does. If you lust after your spouse form time to time then that probably helps the relationship stay maintained. Lust almost seems to be a necessary ingredient for people to stay in love or happy with their spouse. Thanks for the comment.

arthurchappell~ thanks for the comment! I love those songs.

ingenira~ not so much chicken or egg but which prevails over the other. the combination is indeed the most powerful. Thanks for stopping by.

Silvergenes~ yes I remember plenty of crushes and they were inspiration to some of my best writing when I was younger- lust definitely sparks some creative juices. Thanks for reading.

themanwithnopants~ alright I'll be talking to you soon!


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Hi izettl,

A great hub with much food for thought and yes it is so nice to have both.

I appreciate each day of my life now.

Thanks for sharing

Take care

Eiddwen.


David Stone profile image

David Stone 5 years ago from New York City

Interesting discussion, izettl. I have a lens over on Squidoo, "Why do we have sex?" and I'm going to link this over there to extend the ideas. Thanks.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Eiddwen~ Thanks so much for reading. Hope you enjoyed it. I definitely understand appreciating each day of life.

David Stone~ thanks and I'll go check out your article on Squidoo.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

David Stone~ I went looking for your Squidoo article on this and I can't find it. Can you put a link here?


shogan profile image

shogan 5 years ago from New England

izettl, I was directing my comment at Dave Price, not you. I know that wasn't your point, but Dave seemed to be making the point that it was wrong or unfaithful to lust after your wife, which doesn't make sense to me.

For me, marriage has only intensified all of my feelings for my wife. I can't relate to the idea that marriage increases anything else. That's just me, though, of course.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

shogan~ oh yes I totally get that now. Yeah I think it would be natural to lust after your and helps the relationship in general. Yep I agree with you- I was wondering why your second comment didn't correlate with your first one. I see now you were talking to Dave.

Thanks for adding to the discussion.


Jasmine JellyBaby 5 years ago

I think love and lust go hand in hand. You cant have one without the other. If you only have one then the relationship is incomplete and usually ends on a negative note.

Great hub, very interesting.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Yep, exatly. Great point. Either is destined to fail without the other.


Jeanine 5 years ago

Great Hub Izetti.... Lust drives the relationship when younger... love drives it as it grows... part is physical... yet part is acceptance of my loves love for me... or in this case how each of you play the song... when younger I definitely wanted to sing or play the melody... but as time passed... I began to explore the harmonies or chords in the song of love... to accompany the melody is very different... there are chords one can strike that motivate the melody to take the side road that swings down closer to the sea... revealing how each of you view the ocean of possibilities... therefore the palette of colors... what we can paint becomes larger... choices become more lustful... the picture begins to take on a life of it's own... painting itself many times... the array of movement in ones own emotions becomes multiplied as one begins to look around... seeing how the light affects us in the morning noon and night... when younger I just looked at the sun... now many years later with my love... the beauty lies in how the light affects the entire song...


speedbird profile image

speedbird 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

I believe love is UNCONDITIONAL and lust is CONDITIONAL


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

speedbird~ Great point and so true!

Jeanine~ Beautiful! Well said. Yes, love changes over time and various perspectives. Lust is still there, but can be channeled to create and explore other feelings.I just love your comments Jeanine- thank you so much.


nancypolaska profile image

nancypolaska 5 years ago from Oxford Road

very attractive and creative.. thanks for your effort... continue hubbing... well tagged write up with all information..


Highvoltagewriter profile image

Highvoltagewriter 5 years ago from Savannah GA.

You have made some great observations and I like the connection to some of the songs that have also moved me as well!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

nancypolaska~ thanks for the great comment.

highvoltage~ It's hard not to think of songs when I think about love (or lust). Thanks for stopping by.


Terryandco profile image

Terryandco 5 years ago

great question and very controversial. For me love is stronger..


Bobby Rio 5 years ago

You know I really am beginning to think both love and desire are more physcological responses to anything else... the more I observe people the more I see that people want what they can't have... and when they become fixated on it, the often confuse themselves into thinking they are in love...

But I've also thought that we have 3 reasons for wanting to have sex 1. physcial and hormonal response 2. Affection and wanting a relationship (logical) 3. Emotional repsonse...

I feel emotional response is the most powerful


amandavalentine profile image

amandavalentine 5 years ago from new york

I really hope love will prevail.I keep having the feeling that people ignore more and more the real aspects of love and turn to lust for satisfaction...hope I'm wrong.


jeaninie...  5 years ago

@ Amanda....It will prevail... we all want to be in it... no matter what the cost....it can make you sick... weak at the knees... make you throw up.... laugh till you cry at all of these... make you pine... drawing hearts on the page... writing you and I... look at us... we are all the rage... lol... yes we all want to be in it... quite extraordinary.... if done well, it takes up your entire life... which transfers into... oh my...how time flies... when you are having fun...


crystolite profile image

crystolite 5 years ago from Houston TX

As we all know, love is powerful than lust because when your in love, you can do any thing to please your partner. But if Lust is involved, there is nothing to do than making your self satisfied before your partner.


Lilitu.Bau profile image

Lilitu.Bau 5 years ago

Perhaps they are so intertwined as to be inseparable - either way they do both motivate at nearly every stage of life.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

terryandco~ It's an intriguing question and hard to tell which is more powerful. I believe it changes throughout our life.

Bobby Rio~ The scientific community will always think physical responses are more powerful. I think that's why a lot of data I saw was in favor of lust being more powerful. We can't measure how much someone is in love and what exactly they will do for love before it becomes desire or lust that drives them. Great comment Bobby and thanks for adding to the discussion.

amandavalentine~ very perceptive comment about people being more satisfied by lust than love- I'm kind of a romantic optimist like you and hope love prevails- thanks for the comment.

crystolite~ Great insight there. Lust isn't easily quenched and it's very selfish. Lust is short-lived as well so maybe it wouldn't be as powerful if you need regualr "fixes".

Lilitu.Bau~ I think the main difference is love is emotional and mental and lust is physical. Both powerful aspects of our lives- it's a tough call.


Bronson_Hub profile image

Bronson_Hub 5 years ago from San Francisco, CA

What's love got to do, got to do with it. WHhhaaat's love got to do...

Couldn't resist. Keep on rollin' izetti! Rollin'! Rollin! Ok, I want to know how to stop, I want you to shoooowww meeeee!

:P


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Bronson~ thanks for the laugh today. I imagine you're quite a singer-lol.


tvpuram profile image

tvpuram 5 years ago from India

Degree varies as age grows and priority changes but love prevails till last.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

tvpuram~ thanks for the comment and you make a good point.


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 5 years ago from Florida

I believe that lust is the hook that catches your attention, like s river of lava. But love comes more slowly, as you have to invest your heart, micro-pieces at a time. True Love comes with Unconditional Love. And Lust like the river of lava can become a cold still stream. But True Love is like a vine--it wraps around your heart forever.

Anyway, this is my opinion.


Char M profile image

Char M 5 years ago from Pacific Coast

this is a tough one but I believe you're right considering the scientific aspect of it. Lust would be more powerful. Sometimes love can become a duty and we stick in there when we don't want to. That's not love and many get duty and love confused. Intersting discussion. Voted up.


Livenow1305 profile image

Livenow1305 5 years ago from Here, right here!

it's all mixed, but those who have been in love and have lost tend to only want lust. when you have given your heart and it was said to be not enough, you start looking at the world different. Almost as if you were in a bubble and it pops now your exposed to the toxic reality. It's like everything else, it's just a matter of time before it spoils and grows mold.


PaulStaley1 profile image

PaulStaley1 5 years ago from With the wind---(or against it)

I had a girlfriend with an interesting philosophy on love. She explained to me that it is innate, you are born with all your love, therefore it is not a commodity you can lose, ever. I think this was a protection she invented. I think love is created between two. Boy did she break my heart! Nice Hub! Thanks for the good topic.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Purvisbobbi44~ great analogy and thank you for the comment.

Char M~ thanks for stopping by- nice to see you. It is a battle of emotional and physical.

livenow35~ It's hard not to sucumb to lust- not only is it physically powerful but our society pushes it in subtle and not so subtle ways.Thanks for adding to the discussion.

PaulStaley~ The irony of your story! It reminds me of people who say you must love yourself before falling in love- great notion, but if we totally loved ourselves we wouldn't need love or seek it from others. Similarly, we are born TO love. Thanks for the comment.


eudociadavis 5 years ago

Love is more powerful than lust because it is enduring. Love and lust have a genesis which is completely different although they are commonly confused, especially among younger people. While many people that have discussed this

Fabulous Hub,


fullboz profile image

fullboz 5 years ago

ove is more powerful than lust because it is enduring.


jeanone 5 years ago

they are equally powerful... a lot like the tide... coming in at different times each day... backing out to sea... passive and aggressive traits neither can hide... each has the power to subdue and wrestle away... control from one another... sometimes taken... sometimes freely given away...


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 5 years ago from home

IZ,

Love is more powerful than Lust- I may lust upon woman X but because I love my wife It keeps me from acting on my lust. Luckily for me i also LUST after my wife- and 1-3 times a week except for "that" week we can share "our feelings" together *tee-hee*. So-there that's my theory and I'm stickin to it.

TH


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 5 years ago

Lust may cause men to do stupid things but love has led them into war when they deem it necessary. No man intentionally sacrafices his life for lust.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

dashingscorpio~ one of the most interesting points brought up yet. I believe love is more powerful in that way- great point! THanks for the comment.


mikanatsumi profile image

mikanatsumi 5 years ago from New York

Love grows. Lust wastes by Enjoyment, and the Reason is, that one springs from a Union of Souls, and the other from an Union of Sense.

William Penn


jayb23 profile image

jayb23 5 years ago from India

Brilliant hub izettl...both are required for a relationship to grow, Lust is a fuel and love is the air and hence both are equally imp according to me!!!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

mikanatsumi~ I think since lust is short-lived we keep seeking it anywhere we can find it so we are all full of wanderlust in a way. Love lasts, but lust is like an incurable nagging feeling.

jayb23~ Gret description. Love is the fuel, the thing that helps love last. Love your comment- thanks!


Hollanda profile image

Hollanda 5 years ago

Lust is what attracts a male to a female and vice versa. Lust is simply a chemical reaction within the human mind, where pheremones and oestrogen react to form powerful, addictive and "heady" feelings of intense reaction towards another person. Feelings of intense admiration can be mistaken for lust, particularly in adolescents unsure of their emotions.

Once the lust settles down and the couple really begin to know each other, faults and all, that is where true love really begins (or ends!). To me, the nicest part of a relationship is when you've been together a few years (4) and you really feel comfortable with each other, you can finish each other's sentences off, but you are still learning about each other. Real love means friendship, a mutual respect and an understanding that no matter what happens, you have each other.

I am biased...been with mine just over 4 and a half years...we're engaged and MADLY HAPPY. And we want the rest of the world to know it ;o)

Love wins through. xxx


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Hollanda~ first, congrats on true love for over 4 years. I think lust dominates in the beginning and then love begins to dominate, whereas lust takes a backseat, but also assists with keeping a spark in love. They work together for sure. I like the pattern I'm seeing where people, like you, are stating that love wins! thanks so much for the comment.


Jeanine 5 years ago

Does that mean if I'm still lusting after 41 years... I'm chemically dependent... LOL...


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Yep! count me in for being chemically dependent too. Funnny point Jeanine- lol.


MarygrauSheila 5 years ago

A very very creative hub. Thank you for posting


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

THank you very much for reading MarygrauSheila.


ekenzy profile image

ekenzy 5 years ago

that's a very nice hub. thanks to that.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thank you ekenzy.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

Lust is a physical thing and people do obviously "fall in lust." But it can quickly wear off and one can move their raging hormones to another subject to experience the animal urge with.

Love is an emotional quagmire that one enters into with so many mixed emotions other than our primal urges. It's something I believe you have to work at, and at times, through. Rather a deep subject and I could ramble on with my 60 years of experience from dealing with it but I'll save it for later.

I want to thank you for referring "ManNoPants" to my first article. I like to make new friends and being of the conservative nature I'm not a big fan of the federal monster.

Jim


shygirl2 5 years ago

It all comes down to these few words...'I want you, I need you'. Definitely lustful words, don't you think? But, I love you just for who you are; with body, soul and mind...well, that's another matter. Lust is deifinitely a given, as attraction is what usually draws us to the one we may eventually love in the first place. I think this concept is well explained in the movie, "The Mirror Has Two Faces". You may well have the lust without the love, but can one have the love without the lust? : ) Just a thought! Great hub!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

The Frog Prince~ You are very right and I bet you've got some experiences. I met themanwithnopants when he first started with some of his political hubs and I saw the same passion in you with your first hub. Your hub is relevant- keep it up. Thanks for the comment.

shygirl2~ I love your comment and the words you chose. Good question as well. You bet I'll be thinking about it.


World-Traveler profile image

World-Traveler 5 years ago from USA

This is a good question and it is sad that topics like these are never taught about in high school, when many kids need this type of wisdom most.

There´s probably a fear there among school administrators that this topic would open a Pandora´s Box of other questions teachers would be uncomfortable answering, however, questions that need to be answered.

From what I have heard, lust is more powerful in the beginning and love is stronger in the end. Nature does not care how the job gets done just as long as there is conception and another generation to follow. Survival of the species is the key goal. And nature is emotionless. Well, that´s what I have heard.

Once again, you have asked an excellent question.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

World Traveler~ teens confuse love with lust. They need to know the difference, but it would be hard to teach. I agree with your insight about lust more powerful in the beginning and love is more at the end- very true. I'd like to think of it that way.


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

iz, I have to say lust, because it can be momentary. Good job. H


ExplodingPopTart profile image

ExplodingPopTart 5 years ago from Richmond, VA

Very interesting... You're right, it doesn't take true love to reproduce, but I believe it is the ability to love that sets us apart from being categorized as animals. It comes with the level of higher consciousness that we hold.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Harvey and ExplodingPopTart(is that for real? lol)- thanks for the comments.


mojefballa profile image

mojefballa 5 years ago from Nigeria

Very thoughtful and quite an interesting argument.I think that love is much more powerful than lust because in any relationship which love is involved nor matter the percentage of that love the two people involved must have a tolerating ability on each other but if it is lust,their main aim is that satisfaction the get.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Mojefballa~ Whenever I think about long-term love, I think that duty (tolerating) and sentimental value play a big role. Those help love withstand the test of time. Lust is satisfied quickly and love comes back for more- Thanks for the comment.


Harvey Stelman 5 years ago

iz, Lust leads to love, or it doesn't. Hopefully we all go through lust, and hope to find love later. Jimmy Carter admitted he lusted in his heart. I have no idea what that idiot meant. H


PK2010 profile image

PK2010 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Great hub izetti. Love and lust definitely go hand in hand. The difference between the two however is that love can exist without lust. "Love is enduring. It is believing, it bears all things and hopes in all things". It goes beyond the physical bond of lust. It can stand the test of time. Lust needs to exist with love to go the distance in any relationship. Lust on its own is shortlived, meaningless and baseless. It feeds off the physical - the five senses. It develops through what we see, taste, touch, hear and smell. These transcend to our mental faculty and create feelings in us which attract us to someone. What is pleasing in our eyes, becomes pleasing to our touch. Love however does not see the physical, it sees beauty that comes from within and this gradually extends to the external. Love is ultimately more powerful than lust, because it does not fade with time. The test of time makes love stronger because love does not just give up, it fights for what it believes in. That's why when couples get marrired they make pledges to love each other irrespective of the situations they find themselves in. Love conquers all. And may I add True love. There are various forms of love. Love based on material things is fickle and only lasts as long as materialism reigns supreme. True love coupled with lust becomes a force to be reckoned with.


curiousx profile image

curiousx 5 years ago from Hyderabad

Romantic Love. Just the right words I've been looking for.

I believe that Romance keeps Love alive. Love can be shown in many ways like gifting expensive things, taking her to places, giving surprises. But, this alone is never sufficient. A little romance on top of this is the perfect meal. And Romance alone is also never sufficient - after all, how long can one show love with words?

Also, when the study reveals that 20-25% people experience cheating spouses, the other 75-80% might contain some uncaught cases. Great Hub, by way!!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

curious~ thanks for stopping by. I completely agree with your comment here and your description of romance.

PK2010~ you bring up great points about love and the differences. I like what you said about love is seeing beyond the outside and beauty.


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Maybe it's lust at first sight but love can happen without lust. A true deep love can develop with time and with the right connections becomes a deeper love. There is nothing more wonderful than a deep true love maybe sprinkled with a little lust on occasions! Great hub, well done.


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

acae, Nike would say, "just do it!" H


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

This is an excellent hub. Honestly even though it goes hand in hand, i agree with you that love is more self sacrificing, thoughtful and considering. If at any point one is in emotional pain it usually is due to love.

Lust however, is selfish and for the time being.

In my opinion love is more powerful because it sees you through the ups and downs of your life.

Great hub. Voted up!


Kill Billy Is A Thrilly 5 years ago

Love is more powerful, but rare.

Lust is weak,immature and very common.

Love is when there is a story to your life. When someone special has been there for you and vice versa, and life with all its good and evil is unable to interfere or separate the two of you and your spirits.

Lust is like God's way of pacyfying the losers. Since God has given each one of us a job to do, he allows a little lust to motivate them so that they will continue to march through time and complete his wish. LOL.

And finally, there are those lost in between the two, the pretenders from drama school.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Kill bIlly~ beautiful words. I couldn't agree more and you put it in such a nice way.

QudsiaP1~ Great point about love.

acaetnna~ love does have certain staying power, but someone above mentioned it can be out of duty, not love, that someone sees things through the tough times. I thought that was an interesting perspective too. There is an element of duty in love. That's just my opinion as a married gal.Thanks for your comment.

Nice to see you Harvey!


GoAskSue profile image

GoAskSue 5 years ago from California

What a great article! Well written and insightful. Some people, like myself, never even experienced lust until one day! Then, since it was new, we thought it was love, even though well into our 50's. Isn't that incredible?

Lust without love always creates problems and eventually the two will go their separate ways. If I could have the cake of love with icing of lust on top....oh my! I would be in heaven.


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Qud, Nice to be seen. oh no, I'm not dressed. It must be that nudist thing. H


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

GoAskSue~ Thanks for a wonderful comment. Funny how easily lust can be confused for love. Well explained- "the cake of love and the icing of lust". I love it!Sign me up too.

Harvey~ there you are again. I think I've turned you into a nudist Harvey.


ManuPria profile image

ManuPria 5 years ago from India

"the cake of love and the icing of lust" Lovely!!!


smile51everyday profile image

smile51everyday 5 years ago from dream land-mamamiya

two different words,two different meanings but sometimes they both work together....hahaha.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

thanks for the comments ManuPria and smile51!


Paul Kuehn profile image

Paul Kuehn 5 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

Izettl,

Thanks for writing such a great hub. Hopefully I can write one like you some day. In all three of my relationships love has been more important than lust. When the relationship started, lust probably was more important, but after a few years love became more important. When love in a relationship is gone, the relationship is doomed to failure.


Nash 5 years ago

Wow finally someone who understands the difference..thanks for the hub

Great info.


David 5 years ago

Well i thinks that's a subject that needs to be discussed more in soceity today.

Thanks for sharing.

God bless.


Bally 5 years ago

Thanks for the data..lust and love is hardly separed by lots of people..i like the way you define the difference.

Thx


Curiad profile image

Curiad 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

This is a very well thought out article, I applaud you!


tina.wong profile image

tina.wong 5 years ago from Vancouver, BC

very interesting, love and lust are so different and yet they go hand in hand...


kafsoa profile image

kafsoa 5 years ago

Love is the winner although it creats lust too, but lust doesn't remain forever. Nice hub:)


deadlyking 5 years ago

L(L)o(u)v(s)e(t) --------- very interesting!!!


writer1st 5 years ago from The World

I believe it's different for each person...I mean to a degree wouldn't you say that a person who's in love also pocess a passionate since of lust for that person who has capture their romantic interest...


velosipeddet profile image

velosipeddet 5 years ago

its a very interesting


susannah42 profile image

susannah42 5 years ago from Florida

Lust is what attracts people to each other, then love has to grow.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Hey Izzy,

I think that it's like the tortoise and the hare. You can guess which is love and which is lust and who wins.

Love is lyrical

Lust is lewd

When both are done

You've been doubly _______ =:)


lyfanna profile image

lyfanna 5 years ago from USA

Love is the complex thing!


Jeanine 5 years ago

Love is the finesse of Lust... after one has lusted for any length of time... the mind begins to search for a way to retain and recall moments lived and place them on display... not so much for the viewer although some actions are for those watching but most are for the participants... Love is more of an insiders read between the two people... with most of their intimate moments being cataloged for their relationship... moments of teasing that are sane enough to share in public that remind each of them of the insane moments shared in private...and inside joke so to speak... keeps the naughtiness alive yet under control in public... savored by each other and deposited into each others fantasy... so both Love and Lust are part of the same emotion... these two connect all the rooms of the houses we live in the heart together...


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Paul~ I think when love or lust dies, there is trouble. Love isn't always there and neither is lust, but both can be short-lived or so it seems in today's society. thanks for the comment.

Thank you Nash, Bally,David, Curiad, Tina Wong, kafsoa, Deadly king. Awesome compliments!

Thanks also to susannah42, writer1st, lyfanna, and velosipeddet.

Winsome~ you always make me smile! Great comment and so true.

Jeanine~ wonderfully stated and beautifully written.I can tell you've experienced both :))


padmendra profile image

padmendra 5 years ago from DELHI/NCR

Its a hard truth that lust is powerful when performing its act but within a short time, its power reverses to zero. But as for love, it is unique in its recognition, powerful in its strength and mighty in its weight and long lasting for unlimited period of life. One can rely upon love but if you rely upon lust, it will be a grave mistake on the part of a human being.


Jeanine... 5 years ago

oh... my.... Padmendra... very creative response laced in romantic banter... very cool... to have the strength to recognize love's power for a long period of time,is truly unique in it's ability to keep relationships from returning to zero... this is one factor that could be the weight of the matter... for some couples... in separating Love from lust...


Tamila Roberts profile image

Tamila Roberts 5 years ago from Canada

My guess is the lust. Because, you can miss the love but, can't miss the lust.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

padmendra~ wonderful definitions of love and lust. That's why I'm glad I wrote this hub- to see all the different and meaningful points of view from everyone. thank you so much for you comment.

Jeanine~ I agree with you.

Tamila~ thanks for stopping by and adding a very different perspective. You are right though about lust has a way of eating at you until it's fulfilled, whereas love is often denied or unrecognized. Great point!


Toby Simon profile image

Toby Simon 5 years ago from Kansas City, Missouri

For me, when it comes to feelings, Love is the most powerful!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Well stated Toby!


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

iz, Years ago (I mean many) I would have said, lus... lu... lu...lus... LUST! But I'm more mature now. H


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Harvey- you mature and thank God in the process you didn't lose your sense of humor like most people who "mature". You sure can write a lustful story though. Ever thought of writing erotica books?


David99999 5 years ago

This is a great hub. It would have to agree, that lust is a powerful force. This is why the saying, "Sex sells" is true.

Unfortunately, it, alone, doesn't make for a meaningful, longterm relationship. Perhaps, more unfortunate, is the fact that, times, people don't distinguish between lust and love.

I believe that love can deepen. Perhaps lust for a partner may become less overpowering - however, if it exists to a major extent, love will deepen. People who tend to have overly-strong libitos (i.e., yearn sexually for more than one person) should, probably, either, (a)Get with somebody who is willing to have an open relationship, or, (b)not get into a serious romantic relationship (i.e., simply date and have casual sex).

Anyway, great essay! Very thought-provoking!:)


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

David~ You make some great points. I was thinking about this more and I realized lust is short-term and love long-term, BUT even with long-term love, lust can still come up after all those years with someone a person loves and threaten the relationship if not satisfied. Lust makes people wander away from love. So it's a powerful driving force.

Your comment about people with strong libidos is right on. I don't think those people were meant for serious monogamous relationships.

Thanks for stopping by David.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

a combination of love and lust - or lust and love. mmmmmm

The trouble with humans is we tend to judge too much. The ownership of another is totally wrong. If we truly listen to our hearts and have open communication we will live much freer and happier.

good hub

Love - Light - Laughter ... and Lust!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Neil~ The combination is the most powerful- you're right. Thanks for stopping by.


nikitha 5 years ago

I think both of them are important in a relationship, love with no lust is boring and lust with no love dsnt lust long.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

I absolutely agree nikitha.


nycgrl profile image

nycgrl 5 years ago from New York

Hmm I am pretty much in agreement with most on here. And when we say lust I think a better word is passion. You can love someone but if there is zero passion in the relationship or you let the passion go after awhile, then yes someone will stray and that relationship will end. You can also be very passionate about someone but not love them and that relationship won't work either. I have had many "passionate" relationships where yes there was tons of attraction and great chemistry and as fun as it was, it never lasted because we really had nothing else to base a real relationship on. I have only had 1 relationship so far that had both and it was good because not only was the chemistry and passion there but we were also best friends that could hang out and talk for hours.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

nycgrl~ Passion can mask a not so good relationship so it's very deceiving. Having both is having the best of both worlds. Thanks for stopping by to comment.


ask nikki profile image

ask nikki 5 years ago from Canada

Very intriguing hub!!!! i do believe though, that you were correct in a comment that you left saying the scientific community will be biased. There is no way possible to physically measure love.

What i do know is that every single person on this earth hopes and prays that love is more powerful and i believe that says something all in itself. Love is a driving force and as you mentioned in your hub it effects all that we do...The love of a partner, a parent, a sibling, a friend,a pet, a job, a hobby...the love of life itself...love has been the ultimate influence in society throughout time...

i don't know if anyone is religious here and i don't want to step on any toes...i do respect everyone's beliefs..but i believe that God created us because he loved us...meaning we were born loved and with love inside of us... thus being programed (metaphorically speaking) to allow love to have such an influence in all that we do...makes sense to me...

On a side note, i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We couldn't be happier and pride ourselves in how honest and committed our relationship is. We are getting engaged soon and love each other more than anything. We started dating fairly young, so we've often see friends getting out of bad relationships or going into them. Many of our friends are extremely unfaithful to their partner and sometimes their partner is aware of it. This obviously happens when a person allows lust to take over and consciously decides that their partner is not worth being true to.

Lust and desire can be often viewed as different things as seen in the debate earlier..lust mostly having bad or sinful connotations attached to it but for all practically purposes, lets just say were talking about the same thing...LUST and/or DESIRE need need need to be in a relationship but cannot exist without love.

Lust can turn into love and Love can turn into lust...sometimes you will lust after someone first and sometimes its the other way around...a good example is two close friends who never saw each other in any sort of romantic way but one day they realize they are starting to fall in love...desire and lust would come after in this case..

Another thing is that love can work in a non romantic relationship and not be harmful to a person, for example love of a family member, it creates a union and bond between two people that works. Lust on its own IS harmful or irrelevant and alone does not create anything but a useless emotion.

Anyways...both strong emotions and feelings...perfect when combined together as if they were made for each other...

Again great hub izettl!! Its shows how much research and effort went into it. Thanks so much for posting it and sharing your thoughts with everyone!

LOVE WINS


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

nikki~ yes, I agree to what you say. I think God is love. Loving God teaches us how to love others.

THe ideaology of love is why we seek it endlessly, die for it, and do anything for it. However, I think lust is more of our subconscious, what we are unaware of- people go too far and cheat without thinking much because the phsycial lust took over. People mistake lust for love a lot. Some cheat because they mistake the lust for love and they think they must love the person they're cheating with more than their partner, but it's just a high on lust, not love.

Thanks for your insightful comment Nikki. I'm a hopeless romantic that love wins!


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

To izetti: Great hub. Lust has a place in relationships. In any relationship, lust is the first attractor. Without lust, people would not be in any romantic relationship. However in long term relationships, lust becomes secondary and love becomes primary. Love is the glue that holds long-term relationships together. Lust is important, though, but it is not the most important thing. I have discovered that any romantic relationship based solely upon lust fizzles out fast!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thanks for stopping by gmwilliams.


Sun360 profile image

Sun360 5 years ago

Very informative article and i believe all you said in here.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Sun360~ thanks for stopping. Love the name 'sun360'!


carolp profile image

carolp 5 years ago from Switzerland

I prefer both. Lust is wonderful with love. Lust without love is not worth without meaning. To love is to have lust.

Some may just do lust, but i am not the one.


ocheje 5 years ago

lust is like mirage,or bubble,that cascades on emotions. more of feeling going like lightening without control piercing anything on it track.maybe this is one reason behind the upsurge in rape and all sort of sexual abuses and assault in the societies.while love is the exact opposite,it is in built it grows naturally it emotional power is more stronger than lust.


intellagentleman profile image

intellagentleman 5 years ago from Andover,MA

I Must say this is good.


ctbrown7 5 years ago

Really interesting topic. I don't believe there is a fine line between love and lust. Love and lust have nothing to do with each other. Lust is merely founded in a person's most base, carnal desires; whereas love is the opposite--being founded in selflessness. Clearly love is the greater power.


rorshak sobchak 5 years ago

Love is forever. Lust is temporary. Great write up!!

rorshak sobchak


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thanks Carol for stopping by. I enjoy life most with both love and lust. One is not much without the other.

ocheje~ beautiful words. i couldn't have put it better myself.

Thanks for the kind comment intellagentleman.

ctbrown~ We have differing opinions because I think most love is usually lust in the beginning. It's also been found in studies that those who are in love acutally lust more- after their partners and others (but many do not act on lusting for others). They are very much intertwined. I do agree with the love and lust selfless and selfish statement you've made- that's true.

Thanks so much for reading rorshak.


Web World Watcher profile image

Web World Watcher 5 years ago

I was really impressed with this article. Made me reconsider a lot of personal relationships I had that went south for one reason or another.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

THanks web world watcher!


days leaper profile image

days leaper 5 years ago from england

When you show me pictures like that, lust is more powerful!

Great Hub, will come back to read more.


argdraw 5 years ago from London

This is an interesting hub, that I came across by accident, your comment,

"For me, not one thing is more intriguing. I've spent personal and professional time studying this topic."

is what has prompted me to comment, because my definition of Love and Lust seams to vary from many others, I strongly believe our minds are linked, esp, telepathy call it what you will, Love is our description of the feeling we get when mentally atuned to another, Lust is the physical attraction. To have both is an amazing experience, but both can exist independentley, the Love for a family member can be extremely strong, but is not lust full, for example. To limit Love to sexual relationships could be an error.

as has been said above, love is enduring when the connection has been made it cannot be undone, the parties involved may not be able to be together for various reasons, but they will always be lovers, meanwhile satisfying lust and duty elsewhere and calling it love because that's what society demands.


mishaanatolia profile image

mishaanatolia 5 years ago

Love = Lust (chemistry) + friendship. If someone really loves someone else, they can still feel lust. But the bond will be strong enough that they would stay faithful. Otherwise maybe they were never truly in love in the first place.


KateWest profile image

KateWest 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Those two so often get all mixed up together to confuse us but if you just let time takes it's course, it will most likely straighten you out and then you'll be able to tell which is which.


Kahana profile image

Kahana 5 years ago

Lust is a chemical response. Determined by pheremones, visual stimuli, etc. that all induce a chemical release in the brain. It is an autonomic reflex. But love, true love is an intellectual response, based on decisions pathways that require analysis and action in order to achieve reaction. Lust may lead to love and love will hopefully lead to lust but the two are entirely different.


The Ghostwriter profile image

The Ghostwriter 5 years ago from UK

Love Vs Lust?

Which comes first? I wonder whether we really know if we are in love or lust, I suspect we quickly find out pretty soon! Great Hub - well done!!


KyleBear profile image

KyleBear 5 years ago

Food for thought :9


Darknlovely3436 profile image

Darknlovely3436 5 years ago from NewYork

lust is temporary... do not worth it,

take love,Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Darknlovely~ well said. thanks for stopping by.

KyleBear~ Thank you for reading.

Ghostwriter~ you've got a good point. Sometimes we are unaware and mistake lust for love and vice versa. The two run into each other often.

Kahana~ yes,so true. I think that's why those who study this topic argue lust is more powerful because it is physical and almost involuntary. Are we creatures governed by our physical needs or psychological? Most would say physical still overrides our psychological needs like love.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Days leaper~ funny...lust wins again! It's hard not to lust in today's society where everything is out there for the taking.

argdraw~ you make some valid points. Lust is one of those cardinal needs that must be satisfied, some more than others. Perhaps if love is strong enough between two people, like close family, then lust is not necessary. This could also work in a romantic relationship as well.

mishaanatolia~ I see your point. I was just stating above in a comment that if love is strong enough, lust doesn't always have to be there. THanks for stoppping by.

Kate~ lovely way to put it.


Thek1ngsway profile image

Thek1ngsway 5 years ago

Love is like god , maybe it doesn't exist . But nonetheless we should have faith in it , pretty much like most of us have faith in god .

why do we have to bring lust into the bargain any way ?! No, i ask because really , there is no way we can defend lust against it . Lust is real , comes down from our animal part. So i guess lust destroys love in a fair contested battle but nonetheless we have to put all our money on love , coz if we didn't ... Where would we be going ???


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thek1ngsway~ I think we'd all like to think love is most powerful because we work hard at it at times and love must endure lust for others- sometimes love wins, but it takes effort. Lust comes naturally and is a primal physical need, but love is much more rewarding and beneficial for our society, hence our purpose.


Thek1ngsway profile image

Thek1ngsway 5 years ago

So you agree :D Above i meant "there is no way we can defend love against it"


Sahastri profile image

Sahastri 5 years ago from Hyderabad

well i liked the work u have done on this topic. To be specific love is related to heart and lust is related to our physical feeling.


registerdomains profile image

registerdomains 5 years ago from India

Love is more powerful. Many times powerful than lust.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thek1ngsway~ Yes, in other words, I do agree :)

Shastri~ Thank you so much for stopping by!

registerdomains~ that's debatable, but it's good to believe that.


Jennie Demario profile image

Jennie Demario 5 years ago from Floating in the clouds

I think people react more quickly to lust than love.. lust is temporary but it is present and consuming.. can you have one without the other? yes, but having both intensifies..


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Jennie~ I agree with all that esecially with having both. In a society where we enjoy instant gratification, lust sometimes prevails, but only for the moment.


jeanine 5 years ago

Lust is an amazing thing in that if one lust for life there is an overwhelming desire to live it all... as one goes through this type of life... one decides what one loves...


4tune profile image

4tune 5 years ago from Michigan

I agree that love is stronger than lust and the two should be combined - matter of fact I can't just cut loose without the first coming in to play somehow that would not be any turn on for me.

I have to disagree with the fellow on libido, I have had a healthy libido and have been celibate most of my adult life and have seen people with less of a libido than me playing around.

Just because someone has a libido don't mean they will not be selective, that is also a matter of morals an values and taking risks etc.

Ugh and that person who is saying love is like god maybe don't exist? Oh please never come near me or my child seriously that's exactly the sort if thing I would expect a child molester to say no kidding. Oh and black is white and white is black so I can do whatever I want no matter who it harms BS.. Oh I don't freaking think so!

Oh yeah I love my family and even my good friend I haven't even touched over seas, Pretty sure just as real as anyone's selfish lust and some lust is compltely selfish and don't care who it destroys.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

4tune (clever name)~ yes I agree on som uch you've said. I agree about the libido as well. I was celibate most of my single years before getting married. I had friends who slept around, not because of libido, but trying to find some pleasure they were missing because of a lack of libido and love for themselves. Thanks for the comment!


Jeanine 5 years ago

I have a lust for life and a very healthy libido... I to was celibate my entire teen years til I married, then lust took me and shook me and I loved every minute of it... I believe there is a great advantage to loving one... lust for my love became my friend instead of my enemy. Shy behavior became a slow tender caress, my lack of knowledge became a purposeful blessing... the uniqueness of the moment never to strange, nor waken from sleep ever became a blame to stop the moment of lust... I am in love still after forty years... twenty years ago cancer took my loves libido away, saved a life but lust was dampen by meds and stress... so I am celibate again... still desiring, always respectfully inquiring but in love just the same... so twenty within massive lust and twenty without... would I give up love for lust, never, would I give up lust for love, I did. What love has that lust knows none of... is hope... never a day goes by that there is not the thought and hope for my love to lust for me again...I will wait patiently for my love to come to me once more...


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

I definitely couldn't have said it better myself.


RecoverToday profile image

RecoverToday 5 years ago from United States

Powerful article and something that needs to be addressed.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

thanks Recover today!


fashion 5 years ago

Great hub.Very sensitive issue.I also agree real love means friendship, a mutual respect and an understanding that no matter what happens, you have each other.Great work.


edithsaffairs profile image

edithsaffairs 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Very interesting Subject and Responses.

I do think Lust is the more immediate, and powerful, instinct. Something that mixes and is built from all our emotions and senses . . . flattery, ego, desires and personal (and often "secret") fantasies.

Lust is the emotion that can suddenly spark, or drive, us into sudden instant decisions, or directions, that we know perhaps we shouldn't be making, or doing, and yet which we can't stop ourselves indulging, and for that moment in time, enjoying.

Then, afterwards, it is how we react to that "experience" where often we turn to that more acceptable . . . and more lasting and fulfilling emotion . . . LOVE that truly fashions who we are and how we live with, and share with our partners and family.

So, which is the stronger? . . . surely they should both be considered as two parts of the whole! Emotions and feelings that could, and SHOULD, make us a better and more rational, and more complete, person.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thanks fashion!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Edith~ yes, I think of lust as more primal- perhaps what drives our species to reproduce. I agree on your rationale about the two and thank you for sharing.


Sky's End profile image

Sky's End 5 years ago from Florida

Lust makes you take. Love makes you give.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

wonderful way to put it- thanks Sky's End!


ReceptionChair 5 years ago

A great essay, thanks. I think the distinction is more time dependent. I think that in the short term, lust is more powerful, but lust only lasts a short time. Over the long term, love wins. IF it is truly love then it is always more enduring than superficial lust.


Obscure_Treasures profile image

Obscure_Treasures 5 years ago from USA

Is Love or Lust More Powerful?

Lust is an emotional force that is directly associated with the thinking or fantasizing about one's desire, usually in a sexual way.

Where else love is which takes time.But both are very necessary or directly proportional to each other.

Interesting lens.... Couldn't have been better...


DrMikeFitzpatrick profile image

DrMikeFitzpatrick 5 years ago from Sandpoint, Idaho

all lust is love. not all love is lust. it is only one form of love. if God is love, and God is light, and everything IS made of light, (even thoughts have frequency) then lust is another form of love. simple. the answer, neither. you cannot separate yourself, from yourself. many repress their lusts, which are not always sexual. we have seen movies where individuals lust for power. lust is close to infatuation, which usually has a nightmare attached to balance it out. many confuse love and infatuation. love is everything, or, where is God not?


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Obscure Treasure~ I agree both at necessary even in a committed love relationship. I think lust though is more physical than emotional. It may effect our emotions because it is hormonal/biological/physical. THanks for stopping by.

Dr MikeF~ I like what you're saying about infatuation and lust- so true. THanks for the comment.


DrMikeFitzpatrick profile image

DrMikeFitzpatrick 5 years ago from Sandpoint, Idaho

my pleasure, also a NW native from seattle now living in sandpoint idaho. you hit the nail on the head too, we all have some "brain-chemistry" addictions. food, sex, gambling, work, exercise, the list is long. in the end, "it is, what it is". :) you are doing yourself perfectly, you cannot mess it up! no matter who you are, or who you are not, no matter what you have done or not done, no matter who you become or do not become, you are worthy of love.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Couldn't have said it better myself- the Dr is in the house!! We all have that pleasure spot in our brain and it can be something or somebody that triggers it. Thanks again.


JadedLove 5 years ago

Wonderfully unique. I have come to find lust and love in what I feel for my wife. It is an amazing feeling combined in perfection so imperfect. Up and awesome,

Johnny Love


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Jaded Love~ Yes, combined is the best. By far the most powerful and you are lucky to experience that in one person- hang onto her as I know you will- I've just read some of your hubs. Thanks for the comment.


TheExpertise profile image

TheExpertise 5 years ago

Great hub. I agree with izetti "Couldn't have said it better myself"

A Women's mind is quiet interesting I go a little more in depth on my hub feel feel to read

http://theexpertise.hubpages.com/hub/Top-3-Questio...


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

thanks expertise.


john2000 profile image

john2000 5 years ago

Love+Lust is best. Love can't be complete without lust but only lust is nothing.......


WickedLittleLiar profile image

WickedLittleLiar 5 years ago from South Carolina

I've had this discussion so many times with people and it always ends up in all out war LOL. I love this article, it puts a lot of things in perspective.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

John~ I totally agree 100%

Wicked~ It is so hard to choose, but maybe hope for both!


KaisaJordan profile image

KaisaJordan 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Both love and lust is good for a relationship keeping things spice up.

Sometimes lust give birth to love.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Kaisa~ yes, sometimes lust can turn into a great relaitonship. I actually had that happen once. We aren't together, but it was good. It's ideal to have both love and lust in a relationship.


uknow profile image

uknow 4 years ago

both can be equally powerfu. depending on what kind of relationship you are in. a loving long-term one where you are willing to stay the course. or lustful "loving" one-that you can do without if something (any little thing) pisses you off.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

uknow- yes, both can be rewarding. THanks for stopping by.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

wow what can I say there is a difference between love and lust.. as we all should know.. Although Lust is a lot of fun but it will not last. Excellent HUB.

Great reading.

debbie


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thanks Debbie!


shoreoflove profile image

shoreoflove 4 years ago from Jamshedpur, India

Lust is nothing it is also a kind of love. But one should try to take over the control on lust because for human it is like a Boon but if it is not in control it will become the most curse for the person. Because Lust love resides it not like there is no love in lust. So one should have total control on lust. Like a newly born puny never sits silent same as it our mind also never sits silent so it very important to take over the control on our mind so that u can control on lust. Then lust will become a boon for you.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

In surveys some tell all, some lie, some do not tell. Some surveys reveal that most cheaters do not get caught. So, in reality, the number of cheaters is certainly higher than 20-25% of spouses. Many men, even, say that most men cheat. They know themselves and their circles better than anyone else. Considering that women cheat as well, the number of cheating spouses could be very surprising.


Esti77 4 years ago

izettl awesome Hub :) Lust leaves people craving for more and more sex. Lust only fills the person for the moment and than they go on to the next one. Lust is a vicious cycle and I rather love than lust. I rather love because love is pure, amazing, and last longer or forever. You are a awesome writer :) I will really appreciate if you read both of my Hubs. I only have 2 because I started 2 days ago, anyways keep up the awesome Hub writing peace


yssubramanyam profile image

yssubramanyam 4 years ago from india, nellore. andhrapradesh

Both are powerful. love is for life time, lust is for a moment.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

shoreoflove~ what a fascinating way of discerning lust. I believe as civilized human beings lust is the one thing that can make us act and react like bafoons (uncivilized)!

Levertis Steele~ I completely agree. In fact the more intelligent someone is, the more likely they are to lie about cheating- interesting thought. It just shows lust often gets the bettter of us and I wonder if that means it is more controlling of our behavior than love.

Esti77~ That is exactly my point that lust is short-term and even if you were never really in love- love can seem short- term as well and end with someone lusting after someone else. Will read your hubs...

yssubramanyam~ yes that is a clear distinction between the two- thanks for stopping by.


yssubramanyam profile image

yssubramanyam 4 years ago from india, nellore. andhrapradesh

Love is a universal term . the above articulation is exceptional. love is eternal, lust is a momentary. Love deepens lust to each other, lust is not concerned to love. blending is a super fine phenomenon, but it needs tremendous effort. According to Indian famous sex author called vastyayana sex is a desired force to love and vice versa. lust too takes place between true lovers for sake of orgasm experience. i request author to educate me in this subject ,if necessary.


Glenn Stok profile image

Glenn Stok 4 years ago from Long Island, NY

I found those studies that you quoted very interesting.  Especially the one where people were shown pictures of the opposite sex. And those who were in relationships found more of the pictures attractive.

I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that they are feeling better about things when they are in a relationship, and they simply appreciate more of what they say. Many people who are in good relationships have no desire to lust after someone else. They may think about it, but they have no desire to act on it. And that makes all the difference.

I agree with you where you said "love is not always powerful enough to be the sole ingredient for a healthy relationship." I believe that "respect" has a lot more to do with it. And having respect for one's partner can have a strong effect on wanting to remain faithful. Even stronger than love.


hi friend profile image

hi friend 4 years ago from India

sometimes lust and sex is followed by love, both are interconnected in married life.


yssubramanyam profile image

yssubramanyam 4 years ago from india, nellore. andhrapradesh

any excess lust for self interest is inhuman. when both reaches to extreme boundaries for each others pleasure, lust is heavenly..good hub.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

"hi friend"~ yes I agree but more times than not... lust and sex do not turn into love so that one is a gamble.

Glenn~ thanks for the comment and yes interesting studies. I agree with you about respect and that comes with time...not through lust and sex. Respect and faithfulness are very intertwined.

yssubramanyam~thanks...I agree. the combination of love and sex is heavenly.


Mr Love Doctor profile image

Mr Love Doctor 4 years ago from Puerto Rico

I read through all the comments looking for one word: "friendship." Where does the concept of friendship fit into all this? It seems to me that in this day and age, we're in too much of a rush at the beginning of a relationship to define it as either "romantic" or "Friend Zone." So we miss all the glories of the friendship. I think love and lust are two sides of the same coin, and friendship is the lubricant between them. Ahem. Pardon the pun. My wife is and has always been, first, my best friend. We have a trove of shared experiences, likes, dislikes, activities, and understanding of each other. Whether we take a drive out to the country or visit a museum, spend a day at the beach or get coffee at one of our favorite spots, we are experiencing the lasting joys of a true friendship. We read the same books, peruse the same magazines. There is a quiet joy in looking over right now and seeing her, too, tapping away at HubPages because we're both into writing. The fact that we can have sex at the end of the day is sometimes the icing on the cake, but where would that be without the settled, comforting knowledge that our friendship is so strong we cannot be separated? What point is lust if you don't really like or trust someone?


yssubramanyam profile image

yssubramanyam 4 years ago from india, nellore. andhrapradesh

it is v educative hub. i like it.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thanks yssubramanyam!

Mr LD~ I think it's a rare and special thing when people can find love, lust, and friendship in the same person. You have something special for sure. I view lust in the same way you do- I never really cared for quick romance. Actually. psychologically people prefer to wait on things that may give them pleasure so lust makes no sense to me.


carladominique profile image

carladominique 4 years ago from Philippines

This hub is very interesting. They go together I believe. Lust intensify love and love do the same. Somewhat like that.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

THey should go together but often lust gets confused with love and with love, lust gets lost. Intense when you can get them together. THanks for stopping by.


carladominique profile image

carladominique 4 years ago from Philippines

It will be always present, both of them.


Glenn Stok profile image

Glenn Stok 4 years ago from Long Island, NY

I'm back again reading your hub for the second time since two months ago. I needed a refresher because I've been studying this more and came up with another piece to the puzzle. I was wondering if respect can interfere with lust. 

When I try to talk to some people about my ideas, they argue that lust has nothing to do with love. So I was glad to read that you combined love and lust under one category, that you call romantic love.  This reinforces my own ideas. 

I came to the conclusion that respect can get in the way of a lustful feeling of love.

You gathered a lot of interesting information in your research of love and lust and I found it very helpful.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Glenn~ yes I can see where you're coming from. I think as people come to respect each other, some lust fades. And many who say lust is necessary in a relationship, I say it isn't. I think attraction and chemistry play a big role and those aren't necessarily based on lust.

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