Is online dating poisoning real love?

Looking for Prince Charming

It's the 21st century, there are millions and millions of men and women logging on everyday. Internet dating and social networking are both really popular ways of meeting new people online. So how hard can it be to find your Prince Charming?

Dating Online

Dating online removes the old fashioned picture of a father, sitting on his front porch, shotgun in hand, and the expression that says no man is good enough for his daughter.


The Internet

In the 20th century 72% of us found a partner to settle down with through friends, family, work, university or school. The remaining 28% would some how fall into a relationship outside of a pub. In the radical age of the internet talking to strangers couldn't be easier, and better still we can make contact with someone on the other side of the planet, without even stepping outside.

Internet dating has grown so much in recent years, that it has become the second most popular way to start a relationship. The promise of a healthy and supportive relationship between adults online is now seen as an efficient way of forming a healthy relationship.

The Advert

When you go online the dream can often differ greatly from the reality. A sexual encounter, or something as short lived as a one night stand is what most men and women are looking for online. The internet has opened up a new world of lust, in the online supermarket of desire. You have endless aisles of faces and profiles to choose from.

With so many perfect profiles, from men and women promising you that they're a perfect height, weight and most of look it can lead to a serious yawnathon that would frustrate anyone's libido.

Top 10 Dating Sites

  1. Match.com
  2. eHarmony
  3. Dating Direct.com
  4. Mature dating uk
  5. matchaffinity
  6. Be naughty
  7. my single friend.com
  8. parship.com
  9. Girls Date for Free
  10. be 2

The Supermarket of Desire

The ideal of the romantic relationship we once looked up to has changed, and not necessarily for the better. In years past our parents would have picket out a suitor to help us get married. In the 21st century we're left to fend for ourselves. The quintessential relationship we used to of monogamy and marriage is slowly dying. Leaving us with sex as a pleasure and activity, but no commitment.

Liquid Love

The truth is online dating can be a miserable affair. Dating websites presume that if you have a profile and photo of someone that you can be like a digital camera. A profile online is no better than sitting down to an interview with someone. Which can be cold and direct a lot of the time. The best way to get to know someone is to experience an activity together. That way you can both see each others reaction and how you both perceive things in life. Also seeing someone face to face makes a huge difference for the body language, and the fact that you can look into the white's of their eyes.

A lot of dating websites give you the impression love is safe and frankly quite boring. Instead of risky and adventurous and not quite knowing is at the other end of it all.

Love in the 21st century for women is no different to that of their male counterparts. A sexual encounter without the commitment. Nothing more than activity on their everyday list of things to do. Or a need that has to be satisfied. After all what could be more exciting that chasing someone, meeting them and then a brief sexual encounter no strings attached. A date with maximum pleasure but minimal commitment, because all you need to do is log on and find the next person to get the same buzz.

It's clear that people are becoming less willing to commit to a relationship, and online dating offers them a steady supply of sexual encounters with no strings attached.

The Search for Real Love

After a while, people become disillusioned, cold and detached with dating online, because they become so addicted to logging online and shamelessly flirting. They struggle with the reality of going on a proper date, sitting down getting to know someone. The constant logging online can be difficult because many comments are hurtful and unforgiving. Coming from someone that you've never even met. The need to log on and find someone new all of the time can be quite powerful, and sometimes you may not realise your doing it, because it feels so natural. Unfortunately being online for hours on end can also have a detrimental affect on your mental health and may even lead to a mental disorder.

So the search for a new kind of love is now underway, in the 21st century. Bringing back the experience of warmth and closeness during sex, leaving behind the romantic illusion of times past.

Does It Work?

Access to a pool of potential dates, giving people greater odds of finding someone. Dating online is a mainstream activity no longer something to be ashamed of.

Communication is made easier because you're not talking to the person face to face, taking the pressure off. People are able to talk more freely about themselves and their lives in general.

The downside is that your relying on a profile and photos of someone you've never encountered before. So you need to be on your guard, until you meet up properly.

When a female is put in a position of choosing a mate, she'll automatically go with how a man looks and be choosier overall than her male counterpart, going on less dates but investing more emotionally.

My final conclusion and word of wisdom on this subject are simple

TAKE CARE AND STAY SAFE

© 2013 Helen Bolam

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