Is There Really Such a Thing as a Fairy Tale Ending?
You know where the knight in shining armor rides in on his big white horse, or his white limo? Where the guy comes in and sweeps you off your feet with flowers. Or He speeds to the airport just in time to catch you before you board, or he jumps on the train to go and find you? I wonder if this does happen in real life? Or is it just that, a fairy tale?
Thinking about writing this brought something to my mind I haven't thought of in a while. Many years ago I had 2 dreams, some time apart. I dreamed I was sitting in one and standing in the other and a man was behind me holding me against him. Arms wrapped around me. And it felt so good, so comforting, so full of love. I have no idea who the mystery man was. Sometimes I think maybe it was God comforting me in my dreams. But then I wonder, is this the love I will feel from a man one day? Even after all these years, I still feel those arms when I am down and hurting and it is still comforting. And the love I felt was amazing. For whatever the reason I dreamt this, I am grateful.
I have never been wined and dined, so to speak. I have never had a man come to me and say, ' I love you, please forgive me for hurting you', then take me in their arms and hold me. I have never had the romance that I think every woman and man deserves. The fairy tale endings where the man comes back for you and can't live without you, where he looks for you in every woman he sees, where he can't stop thinking about you and where he feels deep in his heart that he lost the best thing that ever happened to him and vows to get it back.
Maybe this sounds sappy, but it is how my heart feels at times. I
never have had a man who just wanted to spend time with me, couldn't
wait to hear my voice or see me. Couldn't wait to hold me in their arms
and look into my eyes. Does this sound like a fairy tale or are there
relationships out there like that? Sometimes I think I intimidate men
because I am so deep. They don't know how to handle it, maybe to
complicated. But I would love to meet a man who wants to know me,
everything about me and appreciate the woman that I am and what I have
to offer. A fellow Hubber said my Hubs ooze with love. Sometimes I wonder if I wear ' my heart on my sleeve', as the old saying goes. Am I too loving, too caring? Because if that's what keeps the men at bay, well too bad I am not changing to appease them. If I did that, then I would not be me.
Sometimes I look at myself and see a woman different from many others. Not surface only, but a current that runs deep in me that wants so much more than material things, I want things of the heart. I don't care for the jewelry, fancy clothes, expensive trips or candy. Flowers would be nice every now and then or a hug or just spend time with me. I don't ask for much, but then some would say I do, because they cannot give of themselves as I am willing to. I don't want someone clingy or to be smothered, I just want someone who is open to me and the love I have to offer. I want to be open and be myself, be serious or silly, sad or happy and have one who wants to share that with me. I have a giving heart and some do not know how to accept what my heart has to give.
I have had much rejection in my life and have blamed
myself. My best friend told me the other day ' It is their loss, not
yours. You are beautiful, inside and out, you have a heart of gold and
a heart full of love. When you love you love with your whole heart,
pure love, innocent love, you give it your all, you are faithful,
steady and passionate'. My take on this is, sometimes we let life get
in the way of knowing who we are and knowing our own hearts. Me, I have
always known my heart, it was others who didn't, or didn't want to. I
can't say that it was their loss, because there is something in each of
us that wants what I want, some of us just do not know how to reach for
those wants, how to make that contact. Or if they do, it's too strong and then off they go scared to feel.
I look for the best and good in people, I have seen a lot of bad, but there is so much good that I cannot let my heart dwell on the past hurt I have been dealt. I cannot let that pain rise up in me, it hurts to bad, I have to move past that and can only hope that one day that fairy tale ending will be mine. I want to move someones heart because of who I am. I want to feel like home to someone one day. And when he comes along I will love him with all my heart has to give. This is my one and only life and I want to laugh and share my love and my life with someone who wants to share the same with me.
So if you have a fairy tale ending, tell me about it. It would be nice to know that it truly exists.